The Mysterious Scent
by Mushroom Scribe
Summary: Mario makes an unexpected friend in an all-grown-up Kootie Pie Koopa. What IS Wendy's story? Many twists and turns in this shroomy narrative about ending prejudice and new discoveries - for everyone. T for language and mild dialogue/situations. DONE!
1. Friends In Low Places

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_  
_A_ _Super Mario Bros. Fanfiction, by Mushroom Scribe  
_

Most characters ©Nintendo, except one or two OCs that aren't very important. Story elements and other junk are © me, myself and I! Rated T (leaning toward M) for interspecies romance and some "sexy moments" in later chapters, but no outright porn. Current revision beginning June 15th, 2011.

MORE NOTES FOLLOWING THE CHAPTER.

* * *

**The Mysterious Scent**

Chapter 1: Friends In Low Places

Mario paced back and forth in the dark, musty cell. Why had he jumped? He knew the Donut Lift had looked kind of rickety, but he needed the Starman above it – a power-up like that could come in handy anytime, anywhere. Maybe he shouldn't have been so greedy. Of course, he had missed the star, crashed through the Donut Lift and the rotted boards on the ground below, down into a high-walled pit. Not even the master of the jump could make his way out, and after a few tries resigned himself to waiting for King Koopa to show up and gloat.

What a terrific way to start the work week.

Flash forward to him alone in the evil lizard's castle dungeon, going stir crazy. He tried to look out the tiny window near the ceiling, but all he could see was a tiny patch of cloudy sky. Oh boy. Pulling at the corners of his mustache, he sat down on the cold hard stool in despair. It looked like he'd have quite a wait. Oh, eventually Luigi or Princess Toadstool would figure out where he was and launch a rescue operation... but probably not tonight, and definitely not in the next ten minutes or so. Might as well rest his legs.

Time slipped by, maybe an hour or more, before an unexpected noise startled him from his reverie. It was a sort of a soft plodding, perhaps bare feet or in stockings, but there was a clicking, as well. He thought it could be Toad's soft little shoes, but that didn't explain the other sound. Maybe it was two people, or a person and their pet?

Presently, the noise stopped, and in the dim light he could make out a dark shape standing in front of his cell door. The visitor was roughly half a head shorter than Mario, but he couldn't make out much else. It bent forward, and he heard a tinkle of something metal dropping.

"Who's there?" he whispered, almost afraid of startling them away like a deer or a rabbit.

All movement halted like time had been frozen. Then the figure whirled and ran for the stairs, making the strange pad-click noise as it went, and was gone. Just like a deer.

Mario sat there for a minute, trying to figure out what had just happened. At a loss, he decided to investigate the metallic sound. There weren't many other options.

Frowning in concentration, he stood and walked over to the bars. He bent down and felt around for something, anything foreign. What if his mind was playing tricks on him and nothing was there? What if none of that had even happened? But while feeling around with his arm stuck through all the way to the shoulder, his hand finally grasped something flat and hard. It was disk-like on one end, and the rest was like a metal Popsicle stick. One side of the stick had jagged edges. A _key!_ Hallelujah, salvation!

Then he noticed something else: a string was dangling from the round end. He felt down it and came upon a folded piece of paper. It was impossible to see what was on it in the low light of the dungeons, so he stuck it in his overalls' chest pocket for the time being. Then, almost giddy with excitement, he shoved the key into the lock and turned.

It opened like a dream. Mario had never thought the sound of scraping metal would make him so happy. He pocketed the key and fled the dank dungeon as fast as his legs would carry him.

-o-o-o-o-

The open air felt great on his face. He took a few deep breaths, gazing up at the night sky. The few clouds he had seen from the window were long gone, and there was a clear blanket of stars overhead. What a lovely night to be free!

Mario walked across the plains toward the Mushroom Village he called home. He put his hands in his pockets and started to whistle a little tune he had heard a lifetime ago, something fun and upbeat. Nothing could deflate his good mood now... or so he thought.

His right hand curled around the key absentmindedly, and the scrap of paper sprang to mind. In his haste to flee Bowser's castle, he had completely forgotten about it. He pulled it out of his pocket and unfolded it. It was an unsatisfyingly short letter:

_"Mario,  
I hope if you're reading this, you've escaped via the key. I'll be in touch soon.  
-A Friend."_

Mario looked at the note in disbelief. Who could it be? He thought of his friends, but none of them would be so cryptic about a jail break; they'd just burst in and drag him out, knocking Troopas and Dry Bones out of their way left and right. Besides, that wouldn't explain the key rather than simply destroying the lock. Why go through the trouble of picking Koopa's pocket?

The plumber in the red cap analyzed the handwriting; he didn't recognize it. He sniffed the paper on impulse; it smelled of expensive perfume. What did it add up to so far? His savior was a woman; short, and probably well-off if she could afford imported stuff like that. But it didn't exactly end there. There was something else about it that enticed him, made his mind cloudy. That may have been due to over-smelling; he realized he was getting lightheaded and stopped, feeling a little silly.

The height factor ruled out the Princess. Even hunched over, she was too tall to have been his rescuer. He frowned at the paper, then put it away. He would just have to wait and find out.

...soon.

-o-o-o-o-

"It's kinda funky," Luigi said to his brother. "This girl – or who you _think_ is a girl – just left the key with this?" He waved the paper around in the air. "I dunno, Mario; I smell a rat. She didn't say anything at all?"

"Nope, just ran off," Mario replied while fiddling with a socket wrench. "Didn't leave a forwarding address or anything. Didn't even realize she was a girl then; not until I caught a whiff of the perfume."

Luigi stared hard at him. "You okay, Bro? You act like your mental pipes need a little Drain-O."

"Hmm?" Mario said, looking up. "Oh, yeah, I know. It's that smell... I wish I knew what it was. I've never smelled anything like it before, but at the same time I think I have. You know? It stirs up feelings..." He stood up, brushing off his knees as he tried to brush off his niggling doubts. "Well, I'm gonna go home and get some shuteye. See you tomorrow, _paesano_."

Luigi handed the paper to him. "Night, Mario. And don't keep yourself awake worrying about this; it'll sort itself out sooner or later, I bet."

Mario headed back to his hut. Putting aside the perfume for now, he thought about the sound she had made. What could make that sort of sound? Tap shoes? Steel-toed boots? They didn't even sell those in the Mushroom Kingdom. He hoped it would make more sense to him in the morning. It had to, because at the moment it didn't make any sense at all.

-o-o-o-o-

Our intrepid hero awoke to the sun's golden rays filtering through his window. He rolled over and looked at his clock; 10:25. Oh well, he didn't have anything to do this morning, but he usually didn't like to get up so late; the early bird catches the _cacciatore_. After a quick shower and a shave (he had to keep his mustache neatly groomed, didn't he?) Mario dressed and shoved on his scuffed-up work boots. Was that shoelace frayed? Time to buy a new one or it would probably snap at the least opportune time; he didn't want to be dangling over a pit of lava when the boot fell off, that was for sure. Nodding, he stood up and grabbed his cap. Maybe he would head over to Toad's for a cup of espresso before he went shopping for-

Something felt odd in his chapeau.

He doffed it and looked inside. There was an envelope there. How had he not noticed it to begin with? On a sudden impulse, he smelled it; it was the same perfume. He didn't know why, but he was instantly exhilarated. She'd returned! Not only hadn't he noticed the envelope, but she'd come and gone without him ever waking up. What a sneaky little minx.

The plumber was halfway out the door when he realized he hadn't even read his letter yet. Laughing at himself, he opened it up and did so:

_"Mario,  
I know my last correspondence was brief, but I was running low on time. Not that I have gobs of it now; any second could be the one in which I am discovered. I hope you can forgive my intrusion into your home, but I couldn't risk leaving this exposed in your mailbox.  
We have much to discuss, if you're open to it. Meet me in the apartment by the Pipe Maze Treasury at 1 AM tonight (well, technically tomorrow, but you know what I mean). Please come!  
-Your Friend."_

Mario didn't know what to think. His mind was pulled in a thousand different directions. For instance, he didn't know if he should show up; it could be a trap. But if it was, why had she saved him in the first place? Was it a woman as he suspected, maybe somebody from back in his own world? Why all the skulking around – why couldn't she just come to him in the light of day? Not to mention how she'd confiscated the dungeon key, or why time was an unattainable luxury for her.

He couldn't resist finding out who it was; this person could be in real trouble. Still, he told himself he would at least bring along a power-up or two, just in case it was a trap after all.

That smell, now even fresher in his mind, consumed his thoughts like wildfire. As he slowly walked down the road toward Luigi's, he idly wondered if it could be incense instead of perfume; it was definitely headier. It made him feel alive, and it somehow reminded him of home a little. Something he'd experienced at a rock concert in his younger days, but not exactly that...

A new thought entered his mind. What would the Princess say? As the resident monarch, she should be aware of what he planned to do. He turned to the right and headed off toward the castle.

-o-o-o-o-

Mario tried to be quiet as he landed. The entry pipe was a far drop, but it was the quickest and easiest way to the Treasury, so it was either that or picking his way around blind corners for hours.

Rats squeaked through the dark green metallic tunnels. Pipe Maze – also known as the Waterworks – was the entire Mushroom Kingdom's supply of clean water (save Dark Land, which didn't get clean water at all). He knew every inch of it pretty well by now, especially the area near the Treasury. After all, he was the plumber extraordinaire.

He approached the door to the "apartment". In reality, it was a cramped, spartan room next to the Treasury that contained a bed and a table with a couple of chairs and a naked light bulb. That's it, no kitchenette, no rumpus room, not even a toilet. As far as he knew, nobody had ever _lived_ there; it was basically a secret hideout. It just wasn't quite as secret anymore.

Mario patted the Fire Flower and Super Leaf that were in his pocket. Princess Peach (who surprisingly let him go without putting up any sort of fight) had given them to him, in case he ran into even more trouble, warning him to watch his back. The kind-hearted ruler wanted to help anybody in distress as much as he did, but she was practical and cautious. All commendable traits.

This was it; he was at the doorstep now. He knew his "friend" was on the other side, whether she meant to ask for help, or...

He held his breath and turned the knob.

The room was cold and dark. The smell of mold wasn't quite as prevalent in there as in the rest of Pipe Maze, as the builders had attempted to make it moisture-proof and had mostly succeeded. His hand felt the nearby wall for the light switch, and flipped it. Nothing. He had only a moment to wonder why the ceiling lamp wasn't working when he heard a young voice whisper to him.

"Close the door."

Mario jumped. He looked around, squinting, but his eyes still hadn't adjusted to the lack of light. The stranger was hiding in the shadows somewhere, away from the rectangle of harsh light cast by the open doorway. He didn't know what else to do, so he did as she asked.

"Okay, hold on," the quiet voice said. Suddenly there was a strike and a blinding flare as a match was lit. A gloved hand was holding it, which slowly moved to a candle on the table and transferred the flame to the wick, then threw the match on the floor where it quickly burned out against the stone. Now that he could see a little in the dim light, the plumber struggled to size up his company.

It was the same shape as in the cell, but he could now make out a few details he couldn't before. He could see the shape was due to the heavy traveling cloak she was wearing. It covered her entire body, and the hood shadowed her face too well to observe any features. She was sitting in the chair, facing him, and he still couldn't meet her eyes. He noticed the other chair was in the corner, broken. It had been a long time since he had been here.

"Sit," she commanded, gesturing to the bed. He supposed it would have to do, as he didn't feel like standing, so he sat across from her. Now all he could see was a black form, as the candle was directly behind her. Even so, he could tell she was fidgety. More than a few times, she glanced back at the door as if readying to bolt in terror.

"Are you alone?"

"Yes," he said slowly.

"Good. I need your help."

As he was now sitting very close to her, the scent from the first note and the envelope was overloading his olfactories, and he almost felt like he was on some kind of drug. Maybe it _was_ something from a concert after all. He had unknowingly tuned his nose to be extremely sensitive to this particular smell, and now he was getting a real noseful of it. Because of this it took him a long time to find his voice and answer her. "Go on."

"I'm in so much danger even being here right now," she sighed in trembling tones. "Seriously, we'll both be lucky to survive with all our limbs still attached. What a ditz I am! This is probably a bonehead move, I know that like I know dirt is dirty, but still... I can't stay silent any longer." Again, she checked the door. "I need to know if you can protect me."

"From what?"

"From- from... oh, _screw it,_ I can't do this! He'll kill us both!" She started to make a break for the exit, but Mario stood up with her and grabbed her arm in a vice-like grip.

"Who? Who's going to kill who?"

Her head turned to him. "I don't want to get you caught up in the insanity. It's not right. You seem like a nice guy, and I can't expect that from you. This was a mistake. I'm sorry." She once again turned to leave, but Mario wouldn't let go.

"No. I want to know. It's my nature to protect people, not to mention my secondary occupation is hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. Let me try."

Alas, she didn't say anything – just shook her head. He still couldn't see her, but knew she couldn't be lying. He just didn't know how he knew; it was innate.

"Please, _dolce ragazza,_" he said, dipping into Italian to call her a 'sweet girl' and hoping it would win her over, "tell me what's going on. I'll see if I can help."

She then looked up at him, sucking in a nervous breath as she considered him for a minute or so. For the first time, he could see something, as small of a thing as it was, and he felt his pulse quicken: she had the clearest blue eyes.

"Okay," she gusted, letting out all her air. "If you're sure. I guess I can't stop you."

The azure-eyed shadow slowly returned to the little chair by the table. As Mario sat down across from her, she began, "I'm about to tell you some really horrible things. Nightmarish things. I still don't think I should tell you this-"

"Please, this suspense is making me nauseous," he interrupted. "I'd rather fast-forward and deal with the truth, whatever it is."

"Right," she said, her head hanging as she steadied herself to go through with it. "Well, I guess I should start by telling you that all my problems stem from my family. My brothers torment me constantly, and my father doesn't understand me." She paused a moment, then continued. "This all probably sounds like your average dysfunctional family unit, but it's worse. _Way _worse. I'm just... I've never talked with anybody about it before."

Mario placed a hand on hers. Through his own gloves he felt that hers were leather. He could hear in her voice that she was probably right – he didn't want to hear this. But he knew she had to be suffering, and couldn't let her do it alone. "It's okay, take your time."

"My brothers hate me. Well, most of them. Lee doesn't, but he sometimes acts like he does in front of the rest to save face. He's really the only friend I've ever had. Lug's done terrible things to me; _horrible_. The rest make my life a hell, too, but the youngest ones are just sheep, y'know? It's the older ones that I genuinely hate right back. It's probably because my father..." She trailed off, leaving the room in unearthly silence as she wiped at her eyes.

Mario could almost predict what came next, but was hesitant to ask. He could feel his anger rising already. "Your father?"

"He's an abusive alcoholic, Mario," she blurted. "It's been a huge strain on our whole family, it's why our mother left when I was only four... I barely remember her, I can't picture her face anymore. The youngest don't remember her period." There was a noisy swallow. "I can hardly believe I'm finally telling someone."

Mario patted her hand, even though his own felt numb. "I've heard it helps. So, did he ever... hit _you?_"

"No. Not much, anyway. Once. He was so far gone he couldn't even stand, just passed out in his own filth in the living room. What a mess. I tried to hoist him up, to carry him to bed so he could sleep it off... and he slapped me, saying he didn't need any help from fungus." She choked on the tears she was trying to hold off. "He didn't even know it was me. Then he was passed out for the rest of the night."

"I guess that means he hit your brothers most of the time."

"Yeah. Every other night, you can hear him beating them. Once a week, you might hear one of the little ones crying because they saw the older ones getting pummeled. Even though they don't like me, I still can't help but wish they weren't living there."

She looked up at him. He could no longer see her eyes because of the candle behind her, but he guessed they were gushing tears by now. "I've never actually been able to analyze my life. Now that I have, I know I could never go back to it. I... wow, I can't believe I'm saying all this, but I want out. I'd like to learn what it's like to feel _safe_ for once." She squeezed his hand a bit. "My dad knows about this place, so I'm not very safe here, that's for sure. Do you know anywhere I can escape to? Maybe your world, um... Ert, or something? Sorry, I forgot what it's called."

Mario thought about it a moment. She could be a mushroom girl, couldn't she? Someone from the Village who was too afraid to blame her family because Mario might know them. If that was the case, she certainly wouldn't go unnoticed on Earth. Then again, she could be a human. But then, how did she get there? Either way, they needed to get out of Pipe Maze.

"Why don't you come back to Toadstool Castle with me? We can protect you there."

The girl seemed surprised by the offer. "To the- oh, no, I couldn't, I..."

"What? Why not?"

"Well, I don't really think I'd receive a very warm reception. Please, I just wanted your help in finding a good Warp Zone that can shoot me off somewhere where nobody can find me. Where _he_ can't find me. Then I'll be out of your hair forever."

"Aw, don't be like that. Princess Toadstool really is a benevolent ruler. I don't understand how she could turn you away."

"My past," she hedged. "Nobody could forgive me that easy."

"Why? Who _are_ you?"

Without hesitation or another word, she stood up and bolted for the door. Mario jumped up and reached out a pleading hand, shocked, but she was already out and away. He ran after her, but couldn't see any trace of a cloak disappearing around a corner. Gone.

You might think he lost her there, but don't forget that he's a plumber. Pipes were his life, and he could hear which way she went by listening to the echos. He heard the sound of footfalls heading for the north exit. And he knew a shortcut.

Mario turned down a dark pipe tunnel that smelled terrible. The walls were very close, but he could still run through it with no trouble. At the end, it opened over a huge sewage tank, and he ran across the catwalk to the other side, holding a oily rag over his mouth to blot out the stench. As he re-entered the brighter tunnels, he could only hope she was still heading in the same direction. She was, his ears stated, and was now behind him. He passed a few tunnels to the east, then stopped. The sound of her footwear hitting the metal was growing louder. He crouched in the adjacent tunnel.

Suddenly, she burst into view with her hand about the neck of her cloak. Her head was pointed over her shoulder, so she didn't notice him until he sprang at her. She screamed, then tried to dodge, but he caught her arm and took her down.

_"No, please!_ It won't work, let me _go!"_

Mario had her pinned to the floor by her shoulders as he sat back, panting. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you or anything, but I can't let you run off just because you think there's some reason for Peach not... not to... oh."

Now, there are a few things in life that you can prepare for. You can get ready for your first trip to Hawaii by packing swim trunks and booking the beachfront hotel in advance. You can get ready for a party by dressing in your sharpest threads and picking up a box of Tic Tacs (in the event you find yourself in the backseat of someone else's car later). You can get ready to commit suicide by praying, writing a note and amending your will to exclude that annoying uncle who drove you to do it in the first place.

This was not something quite so easy to prepare for... even if Mario could have tried.

The girl's hood had fallen back, and Mario was once again gazing into those fathomless blue eyes. But now, he could see more than that. Tanned scales. A pearl necklace. Full red lips. A pink hairbow with white polka dots.

As strange as it was, he was staring into the face of Wendy O. Koopa.

Mario jumped off of her like she were a poisonous breed of cactus. Sweating despite the cold, he backed up against the tunnel wall, watching as she sat up slowly, a sad expression on her reptilian face even as she glared coldly at him.

"Do you see now?"

Mario's head was spinning. He not only couldn't think of anything, but he forgot what thinking was. His mind could do nothing but compare. Compare the past several years of this girl at her family's side, tormenting the people of the Mushroom Kingdom and reveling in it... to the past few days, the rescue, the sadness of her tale, the...

The smell. More likely than not, that was the scent of the female Koopa.

It was the thought of her aroma that brought him back to the cloaked figure quietly sobbing on the floor of the tunnel. He had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed when she started crying, or when she'd pulled her hood back up to hide her "shame". Part of him knew he should comfort her, but she was a Koopa. His hatred for the family was at war with his newfound friendship with her.

"All I wanted was to disappear, you nosy bastard," she hiccuped, gloves disappearing into her hood to cover her face entirely. "Why couldn't you just point me toward a bus station or something?"

"You... you're a Koopa," he babbled. "But you rescued me, but... you're a _Koopa_. What are you trying to pull here?"

"I'm trying to pull away from this _life! _Not like you care, or anybody cares. Or like there's any hope, any chance I can escape this. I'm always going to be a Koopa, no matter where I go or how I try to hide it. Deluding myself. Stupid... I'm such a stupid bimbo..."

All at once, Mario realized it didn't matter who she was. To earn the right to call himself one of the good guys, he had to rescue anybody who asked for it – not just the mammals and fungi of the Kingdom. As one of his favorite cartoon superheroes used to say when he was a boy, 'If you're not an equal-opportunity hero, you're no hero at all.' It had been his credo since he stepped into the role of savior of the 'shrooms. Was he really willing to give it up now just because she didn't fit the shape of his usual customers?

Wendy heard his footsteps, and looked up in fear. A whimper issued from her throat as she scrabbled backwards along the floor.

"No, I... I'm okay," Mario said, not sure how to say he'd gotten over his brief bout with prejudice. "Are you?"

Her jaw dropped as she stared at him, her eyes glistening with tears. "Wh- yeah, I guess so."

When she tried to stand up, Mario offered her a hand. She looked at it a moment, still crouched on the floor. Now that he knew her identity, there was every chance she couldn't trust him not to hurt her, to pretend to be nice just long enough to throw her in the slammer. But she took it anyway, and he helped her to her feet.

Some things made sense to him now. The strange noise her footsteps had made in the dungeon were due to her claws; she must not have been wearing shoes then, as he hadn't heard it this time around. The high-dollar perfume: King Bowser could certainly afford it. The sad story-

He suddenly realized what family her stories were about.

This got Mario angrier than he had been in a long, long time. He couldn't believe Koopa, as evil as he was, would beat his own children! It was just so appalling, so...

_"Ow! _ Mario!"

Grimacing, he realized he must have been squeezing her hand and let go. "Whoops! Sorry, Wendy."

She turned to him with a strange look in her eyes. Mario caught it as well; he had probably never called her by name. Not that he could remember for sure, but he'd probably referred to her as "that brat" or "Kootie Pie" up to now. Was the reaction she was displaying... _gratitude?_

After another moment of fidgeting, she broke the silence. "It's okay. Y-you didn't mean to."

They looked away from each other quickly. Mario's senses were driving him insane, and he was already halfway there from trying to process the fact that he was trying to help a Koopa escape from another Koopa. He wished he could shut his brain off from this crap, but he was spared the effort when he remembered something that sharpened his focus.

"Mama Mia! _King Bowser!" _He ran a hand down his face. "He's gonna go into conniptions when he realizes I'm helping you drop out of Koopa Kollege!"

Her head jerked, and she looked at him agape. "You're right! We can't stand around here like statues, we gotta jet before he finds out I skipped curfew! Being grounded with six brothers is not the best time to be had. Especially not _my _brothers." They started down a tunnel, but Wendy stopped him. "Wait... where are we going?"

"Mushroom Village," Mario said, and started to pull her along. Again she stopped him.

"Mario, look at me," she growled, trying to talk some sense into the headstrong plumber. "How do you think your friends will react to me strolling past their front lawns? I'll be lynched on the spot!"

"Yeah, but- well, I can't think of anywhere else, and it's better than getting caught by your pops! Don't worry, we... I'll talk to Peach. If I can't make her understand, then... well, I don't know, but I'll figure something out, okay? Maybe the Koopahari Desert..."

Suddenly, from the tunnel behind them, came a deep-voiced bellow. _"KOOTIE PIE! Where the hell are you?"_

"Oh no, it's Daddy!"

Mario wordlessly grabbed her hand and started off in the opposite direction. They dodged through several different pipes, trying to lose the tyrant. Wendy realized that they were heading in a deliberate direction. "Where are we headed, Mario?" she hissed.

"The west entrance," he panted in reply. "It's the shortest route to the Mushroom Village."

"But I don't..." Then she seemed to give up. "Guess I don't have much choice here, do I? Dear God, please let this all be a hallucination..."

They wound through a few more passages, and doubled back once. Now very near the aforementioned west entrance, they stopped to listen.

"We lost him," Mario said, gasping for breath.

"Good," Wendy replied, sliding down the wall. "I was afraid he'd catch us. You'd be back in the dungeon, and I-"

Suddenly, they were blinded by light. They tried to look through it to figure out where it was coming from, but it was too dazzling. Then, a voice sounded from within the whiteness.

"Mario, what the fungus is going on here?"

Mario recognized that voice: Toad. He must be on guard duty; it was an easy access point to the Village, so they had long ago decided to post a watchman there. Mario knew it was a smart idea, but in that moment he wished Luigi had never had it.

He also knew he would have a much harder time getting Wendy's name cleared if she was caught fleeing in terror instead of presenting herself to the crown willingly. This was further reinforced once Toad's flashlight pointed toward the floor. Now they could see that in his other hand was a sturdy-looking pair of handcuffs.

"Guess what, Miss Ameri-Koop? That's right! You're going to enjoy an all-expenses-paid night in our dank, moldy prison. Hope you have a pleasant stay!"

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: Welcome to _The Mysterious Scent_ Tenth Anniversary Celebration Bonanza! This is a very,_ very _old fic. It belongs in a nursing home eating applesauce and playing shuffleboard. Still... I love it so much. It's one of the first things I ever did, and ever worked so hard on that I sometimes cried. Yeah, I cried – cried like a baby. What about it?

Anyway, this will be the SECOND time I've gone back and torn it to shreds, trying to bring it up to the current level of my writing ability before continuing it. Spruced it up from stem to stern, and I got rid of that RIDICULOUS format I tried where every chapter... was three chapters...? I'm not sure what that was supposed to be, but I put it out of its misery. Please, _please_ let me know if you readers from yesteryear miss the original version and I'll throw up a separate "Mysterious Scent Classic" - or _try_, if FFnet lets me.

This time I mean to bring it all to an end. Why? Because I can! Because this is a beautiful planet with limitless potential, where nerds can travel back in time to the previous decade and finish a story about a plumber and his lizard love! I noticed a little while ago that exactly ten years had passed since I first threw up Chapter One, and decided it was time to remind everybody why I picked the penname Mushroom Scribe by finishing my magnum opus. Or is that _mushroom opus?_

Uhhh... yeah. More notes in the next chapter. Back to your irregularly-scheduled program.


	2. A Turn for the Better

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 2: A Turn for the Better

Mario burst into the throne room, his eyes blazing and his nostrils flaring. Casting a quick glance at the nearby mushroom retainers, as if daring them to stop him, he stormed straight up to the startled Princess Toadstool and spoke before she could get a word out.

"Why is she still down there?" She was understandably caught by surprise at the intensity in his voice, and didn't answer right away. This seemed to make Mario angrier. _"WELL?"_

"Why?" she parroted, almost frightened. "Well, it's- she's the enemy. Proper procedure states they be detained upon capture. I don't see w-"

"So you decided to ignore my report," Mario said, not much calmer. "You can't blame Wendy for being born on the wrong side of the tracks! Can't you see that none of this is her fault? Koopa trained his kids to hate people like he does. She defected, she is a refugee asking for a place to hide – for _sanctuary!_ Can't you respect that?"

Peach was stung by Mario's unkind viewpoint. At the end of the day, she was a superb monarch; it's what she'd been training for her entire life. That meant she knew all about infiltrators, wolves in sheep's clothing; people who would pretend to befriend, then back-stab in the end. But Mario didn't seem to know that – though she suspected he did. Something was clouding his judgment.

"Mario," she asked slowly, "are you allright?"

Mario had to blink several times while he switched conversational gears. "What?"

"You don't seem to be thinking too clearly. Seriously, on any other day you would be as skeptical as I am now. Did Toad slip you some of that fermented subspace potion of his?"

Mario sighed, shaking his head. "Princess, you didn't hear her story... the way her voice shook when she told it, the sadness in her eyes. Believe me, if she was faking I'd have picked up on it. The creepy chameleon smacked his own kids around! She was only helping with his delusions of conquest so she might avoid seeing the back of his claw. What else was she supposed to do?"

"I know all that, Mario, but how much of it is true, if any? You're taking her story at face value, and that's dangerous when dealing with a Koopa. Their life's work is deception and trickery."

"Koopa, Koopa. Who cares? I remember all those terrible things she's done, too, and the more I think about them, the more I realize she's not pulling some caper. It's little things... for instance, remember the time Bowser tried to take over Earth with his pendant?"

"Vaguely..." Mario was referring to the pendant that allowed the self-appointed King to use the Mario Brothers' power-ups. He had wreaked havoc as Fire/Racoon Bowser, as well as several other grotesque forms. Peach shuddered, remembering him stomping around toward her in the Karubi Shoe. "What about it?"

"The kids were cruising around in the Doomship. Roy was steering... or was it Ludwig? Anyway, the rest were firing cannons at Luigi and me as we flew around it in our Tanooki suits, trying to find an opening. I flew past a cannon I hadn't noticed, and I spotted it in time to hear the fuse burning down. There was nowhere to run; I knew I was a goner.

"Then it tilted down and fired harmlessly past my feet by a yard or so. I looked into the ship, and saw Wendy standing behind the cannon. She was just staring at me, this weird look on her face... like she was more relieved than frustrated. Now I realize she must have seen me notice her, 'cause then she jumped and started cursing, probably for her brothers' benefit." He paused a second. "You know, I never even gave it a second thought when it happened. I just assumed she couldn't believe she missed. But it was too easy a shot; even the worst gunner in the Navy woulda hit me."

The Princess started to think he may not be wrong. Before this, she had had no intention of ever believing Wendy O. Koopa could be on their side – not in a million years. But with that flimsy shred of evidence, it actually seemed possible, though still highly unlikely. She didn't mention this, though.

"Mario, that could've been an accident. We barely know anything about her, and what we do isn't good."

"No, _you_ don't know anything about her," Mario corrected, a hollow note in his voice. "I know a lot... more than I wanted to."

"Granted, she has told you quite a convoluted yarn-"

"I can't believe this!" Mario stared at her in disbelief. "You would turn her away because of her family!"

"No, I didn't say-"

"I thought I knew you, Peach. I thought-"

_"That's ENOUGH!"_ she shouted, jumping to her feet. "In case you've forgotten, I still reign over the Mushroom Kingdom, and I will not tolerate outright dissent! I shouldn't even have to worry about it coming from you, Mario!"

The plumber checked himself, bowing slightly. "You're right, Majesty. I apologize."

Peach sighed, plopping down heavily in her throne. "Listen... I'm not dragging her to the guillotine. All I'm saying is that I'm not sure we can trust her, given her history. That's prudent, I think." She stared hard at Mario, who still looked angry but had at least remembered who he was talking to, and showed outward signs of remorse for letting himself get all worked up to the point of shouting at a princess. Pursing her lips, she sighed again through her nose. "Allright, you win. The accused can be released into _your_ custody. If she can be trusted and wants to turn over a new leaf, she'll prove it. If not, it'll be enough rope that she'll hang herself."

He looked up at her, a thankful smile spreading across his face. "I knew you'd understand, Peach. You won't regret it, either."

"That remains to be seen. I still don't know if there's any point to this, but I trust you. I know you wouldn't go this far out on a limb for anything if you didn't really believe in it." She looked closely at him, brow knitting. "Are you sure everything's okay, Mario? You're acting very strangely."

Mario wasn't sure how to react to the question. "I feel fine, now that you agree that Wendy deserves a second chance."

"That's what I'm talking about. What happened between you two in Pipe Maze?"

"You read my report, didn't you? She told me her story, got cold feet and tried to am-scray, then I chased her down and we ran away from Bowser and into Toad. That's it in a nutshell."

Peach gaped at him. Something was nibbling at the corner of her mind, but she decided to ignore it for the nonce. "Nevermind. Probably should mind my own business." She reached over to the table next to the throne and picked up a piece of official-looking parchment. "Take this to Bruno and he'll know what to do," she announced, scribbling on it with a quill pen. Then she signed her name and handed it over. "Remember, if she does anything... illegal, it's on your head. I'm not joking."

Mario didn't appreciate her deep distrust, but he understood it. "Reading you loud and clear, Your Majesty. Thanks again!" With that, he whirled and ran out of the throne room.

"You're welcome," she said to no one in particular, suddenly very tired. "I just hope we don't _all_ end up regretting it."

-o-o-o-o-

Our plumber protagonist, signed order in hand, arrived at Fungitraz. It was a towering fortress of dark gray rock, with sharply contrasting mushroom-shaped towers. They had been added to make it look less like Bowser's Keep, but it didn't entirely work. Like putting Christmas lights on a skull and crossbones.

As he came to the front gate, a toadstool stepped out to block his path. Although he was shorter than Mario, his burly physique bulged and he was carrying a wicked-looking spear. "Halt!" he commanded in a deep voice. "Who goes there?"

"Cut it out, Bruno," he said, unable to keep from smiling. "Take a look at this."

Bruno took the paper from Mario's outstretched hand and read it over, then handed it back with a grunt. "Well, seems legit ta me. Go on ahead."

"Thanks, man."

"Say, why they lettin' her go? She ain't been nothin' but trouble ever since she was hatched."

Mario looked at him and shrugged. "Change of heart?"

"Sure, whatever."

Mario walked down the dank hallway, past many empty cells, until he reached the huge, triple-locked door that led to the maximum security area. He felt terrible that Wendy had been taken straight to solitary confinement, but it was unavoidable; he just hoped that someday soon everyone could see her for who she was and not her bloodline. That way, even if she turned out to be evil after all, at least she'd have _earned_ their fear and distrust.

This hall was painfully white, and instead of bars there were solid metal doors with viewing slots in them so the wardens could look in on the prisoners, and slats at the bottom to slide meals through. Both of these were locked tight at present. Mario wasn't sure which door she was behind – that is, until he saw Toad sitting on a stool in front of one of them, nodding off. Probably that one.

"Toad," Mario said, kicking his shoe. "Wake up before you get another warning!"

"Hmmnang?" Toad murmured, almost falling out of his chair. He looked up and saw Mario, then rubbed his eyes as he flashed a half-asleep smile. "Oh, hey. What's up, plumber dude?"

"This," Mario said, handing him the letter.

Toad read it over, and his jaw almost fell off. _"Released?_ Has Peach lost her marbles?"

"No, I have. I'm the one who sprung her."

Toad looked at him skeptically, then glanced down the letter again as if it had been a misprint. "This ain't like you, man. Why would you vouch for a known felon?"

"Just open the cell, Toad."

Toad took off his mushroom cap and scratched his head, shrugged, then opened the door. "There ya go. Not my problem."

The inside was lit by a single bulb hanging high above the floor, casting its dim amber light downward in a circle. There was a bench attached to the far wall. Seated on it was Wendy.

She was still wearing the cloak, still pulled up over her head. Now he observed that she was wearing black boots, and that her leather gloves were the same color and material. Definitely dressed for stealth. When the door shut behind him, she began softly, "Hi again."

Something in her voice broke his heart; it wasn't pain, or self-loathing, or sorrow. It was resignation. She knew – _knew _down deep that she'd be spending the rest of her days staring at the cold iron walls around her. "Hey. How are you holding up?"

"I've been worse."

"Listen, this went all wrong," he blurted in a rush, wringing his hands. "When I think about how I promised this _wasn't _going to happen if you came with me, and then-"

"Don't beat yourself up, Mr. Mario," she sighed. "I'm the devil to these 'shrooms. A real live boogey-man – or boogey-_woman_, I guess. Any nimrod could predict how this was gonna go down."

"Not me."

A weak little laugh. "Fine, then _I_ did, but I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to."

"No, it didn't. But you're free to go now. Better late than never, right?"

She looked up at him, and he could see she hadn't eaten or slept. Deep blue eyes had deeper bags under them, and her cheekbones were more pronounced from lack of food. He could see her face was tear-streaked, and her eyes were bleary and bloodshot. That ruby red lipstick was gone, and her lips were now a light shade of pink. All in all, she looked like something the cat coughed up.

"Really? Y-you mean it, I'm not... gonna be executed?"

It took him a moment to answer. It would be quite some time before he would completely trust the Mushroom Kingdom's legal system again. Did they always mistreat their inmates this way, or just the ones on the Top Ten Public Enemies list? "Are you kidding? Of course not."

"But... I don't understand. After everything the Koopa brood has done, why shouldn't they-"

"I talked to the Princess and she let you off. It looks like I'm your parole officer."

"My parole- _no_, Mario." She was momentarily dumbfounded, and even sounded a little irritated to boot. "Tell me you're exaggerating. Tell me you didn't put your own neck on the line for me!"

"Well, I could, but that would be a lie, so I won't. And I won't apologize for it, either."

"You... you did that f-for..." She stood shakily and moved toward him, lip quivering, blinking back more tears as she grasped his hand firmly between both of hers and blubbered, "You are some kind of glutton for punishment, I swear. You're being so amazing about this, even though I'm one of the bad guys, and I... I don't deserve-"

"No, Wendy," he replied, placing his other hand atop the first three. "You don't deserve to be stuffed into this sterile little cubbyhole. All those things weren't your fault, we both know that. I just hope the rest of the village can open their eyes, too."

"A beautiful fantasy," she whispered as she looked back up at him. "But... where do I go now? Do I just move into a mushroom hut down the street?"

"I dunno," he replied. "Sounds like a start. You may need some furniture..." He looked at her cloak. "Some clothes..."

"I know. I sorta wish I could go back and raid my wardrobe, but I couldn't stand to set foot in that castle again." She looked away, a jumble of fear and nerves and rage that had no easy outlet. _"Ever."_

"It's gonna be all right now, Wendy. I promise. Now let's blow this joint."

But she was no calmer as they checked out than she had been in her cell. Mario worried about that, but resolved he was going to do his best to make sure Wendy was taken care of. After all, now it was more or less his job, wasn't it?

-o-o-o-o-

"Everybody's staring at us."

"No they're not," Wendy corrected as she attempted to close her hood even more over her features. "I'm pretty sure I'm the reason for all this attention."

Mario nodded. Not that he wanted to admit it, but he knew it was the truth; none of the 'shrooms cared that much about some human by now. Oh sure, nine-odd years ago it was quite the novelty – a plumber from _where?_ These days, he was just another face. Would it take that long for Wendy to be accepted? Would she even be accepted at all, decade or no decade?

"This is a huge mistake," she was griping at him as they dashed across a deserted street – deserted except for the mobs of gawking fungi. "Nobody wants me here. I'm lucky they're not picketing already, or trying to string me up by my tail."

"Who gives a flip?" Privately, he knew he'd be standing out there with them, muttering to his neighbors about how wrong it was for her to be there... if he hadn't been privy to her life story. That didn't make it right. "They'll get over it. They'll have to, because this is where you live now."

"No, I don't! I don't have a house – I don't have anything I'm not wearing right now! At this point, you can label me a total nomad!"

Mario let out a grunt as he steered her into a nearby building. "Fine, you're not wrong. But let's focus on getting you that house first, then worry about the natives and your ensemble."

"Aren't you listening?" she hissed, trying not to alarm the receptionist. "My credit is no good here! Sure, I have a..." Her voice lowered yet more. "My father's coin-pouch happens to be several thousand lighter than it was before I escaped. I did plan for this. But even so, they won't sell property to me. No way. You might as well start asking about condos for a Fire Chomp."

"Oh, yeah? We shall see about that. I've got some clout in this town, you know; if I vouch for you, and you pony up the cash, I'm sure we can squeeze you into some quaint digs before nightfall."

Wendy watched him stomp over to the receptionist, eyes wide, mouth sputtering uselessly. What was the point in trying to stop him? For a hero, the man really did seem to have a ruthless streak. But as she watched him haggle over real estate prices, as the realtor sneered in her general direction and Mario merely grinned and handed her a pen to sign on the dotted line, she began to realize what had begun to happen. Whether or not they were still enemies was an issue that had been put on hold. For now, she was a _cause – _and a worthy cause was the sort of thing a true hero never turned his back on, no matter how insane it made them appear to the rest of the world.

Which meant Wendy had gained something she needed even more than a friend: a champion.

-o-o-o-o-

"Hurry!"

Mario and Wendy rushed into the hut, soaking wet. She quickly slammed the door against the heavy winds as he put down all their packages.

"It's pouring swimming pools at a time out there," he commented, wringing out his cap.

"I know," she replied. Her cloak was sagging from water-weight. "Good thing we were clothes shopping, 'cause I need to change pronto."

After a moment's hesitation, she picked a bag at random and headed for the bathroom, leaving little puddles behind with every step. Mario moved to the fireplace and opened the flue. They definitely needed to warm up.

As he lit a fire, he mulled over recent events. Since her release yesterday, they had found her a house, bought a bed and a single chair (to start), and stocked her pantry with a few bare essentials. Just today, they had gone to the department store for clothing. For the time being it was more important she actually have clothes than worry about what kind they were, so she had simply picked out a few decent-looking things and necessities and thrown them into the cart. She would have time for fashion after she was all moved in.

He also thought about the stares she had received. Even under her dark mantle, the sharper mushroom people could tell who she was. They might never trust her, but they could at least have the decency to keep their evil glares to themselves. Koopa or not, it was downright rude. He even heard a couple fungi whispering to each other as they passed, but when he shot them a disapproving glance they left fairly quickly.

What if he had made a mistake in bringing her to the Village? Obviously he didn't kick her into the midst of bigotry on purpose, but that didn't mean the mushrooms were ready for a scaly new neighbor. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, though; she'd already bought the house and moved in. He'd just have to cross his fingers and hope for the best.

_"Ow!"_

Mario looked up, startled from his thoughts by the outcry. Wendy was still in the bathroom. "You okay in there?"

"Damn zipper... I always had a... Troopa do this, but... Grr!"

"Need some help?"

She let out a nervous laugh. "Uhh, I'm kind of indecent. You really willing to help me with anything right now?"

"Right," he said, feeling his face flush. "Yeah. I mean, no! I mean, you know what I mean!"

"Oh, nevermind, I got it. Well, it's a little dressy, but it's dry." The door opened and she stepped out.

Mario goggled. Wendy was wearing a shimmering blue spaghetti-strap dress, with matching high heels and (of course) hairbow. It clung to every curve, leaving barely anything to his imagination – which surprisingly still wanted to conjure up a few new images of its own. Wasn't she a lizard, though? Either way, she looked very fetching, but he was concentrating on two other things, things that surprised him. "Wendy, I, uh, I'm sorry if this is a weird question, but... what happened to your shell?"

She looked at him like he was wearing a dunce cap. "My shell? C'mon, I certainly didn't want to creep along through Pipe Maze with that big clunky thing. They're not built for running away from home." Her brow knitted. "You knew Koopas can take their shells off, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but I thought that was just the Troopas, since they're all I'd ever seen shell-less." He had stomped many a Koopa Troopa, often shooting them careening out of their shells. Maybe now was not the time to bring this up; she might still maintain some kind of loyalties to her old comrades, even if her father was on her hit list.

"That's another thing I wish I could go get from the castle. As cumbersome and bulky as it is, it's... mine, and it is kinda cozy inside. Part of me." A few seconds passed, and when she looked up, she realized he was still staring at her. "Mushroom Kingdom to Mario... is there something else wrong?"

"I... don't remember you having, uh... _hair."_

She ran a clawed hand through it absentmindedly. Soft, wavy, light-orange locks that were limp from the rain fell almost to her shoulders. He had somehow failed to notice this; how he had missed such a thing he would never know, because it was incredibly striking.

"Really? That's weird... I've had hair since my fifteenth birthday. Most Koopa girls are visited by the Follicle Fairy by their fourteenth, but I was a late bloomer."

Mario was taken aback. "You're _fifteen?"_

"Seventeen," she laughed with more genuine amusement than he'd ever heard from the Koopaling. "And my birthday's only a few weeks away. Wow, I guess we have some catching up to do, don't we?"

The red-hatted plumber had always thought of Wendy as being around eight or nine. She probably was when Bowser had first sent his kids out on missions of conquest... about eight or nine years ago. Half of her lifetime ago; he couldn't believe it had been that long. The Mario Brothers had been in their early twenties when this whole strange trip down an unending Warp Zone began. He hadn't told anyone his birthday, and so he hadn't paid it much attention since he never got any parties. Luigi would just hand him a gift and say, "Happy twenty-fifth, Mario (or whatever birthday it happened to be)," and that was that; maybe once had Luigi tried to round up a few 'shrooms to throw a real party but Mario caught him plotting and put a stop to it. Where did the time go? They simply had been so busy with everything that nobody bothered to notice both his and the Koopa families were growing up.

Wendy was certainly no exception. She was now a lovely young woman (for a reptile) who carried herself as such, and no longer appeared to be or behaved like the stereotypical spoiled brat. Looking back on the past days, he didn't know how he could have thought she was still a kid; she acted so mature. Actually, she had acted yet more mature than seventeen. He contributed that to her fractured childhood; that kind of experience would force anyone to grow up faster.

"What do you think?"

He started and looked at her. "About what?"

Wendy looked confused at his confusion. "Should I buy a clock next?"

All at once, he realized he had been so deep in his melancholy musings that he hadn't even noticed she was asking him a question. "Sorry. Yeah, clocks are... good," he finished lamely.

"You don't really care, do you?" she sighed, gazing into the fire now burning in the hearth. "I don't either, but I should probably get one. Something else to throw on the list. You have a watch, right?"

"Yeah."

"What time is it?"

"Uh... 10:30."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Whoa! We've been sitting around in front of the fire talking for almost an hour. It hardly feels like it, though."

"Yeah, it sure doesn't," he laughed. "Time flies..."

"When you're having fun?" she finished, and he caught the skepticism hiding there. "Are you? I mean, you're sitting around with a fugitive villainess who doesn't even have her shell, talking about _clocks_. Sound like a blast to me."

"Not having a shell just means you need more protection, so all the more reason for me to hang out. Watch your back."

Wendy shot him a little smirk. "Oh, so you think I'm defenseless, huh? What do you think these are for?"

A thrill shot down his spine when he found himself faced with a Koopa baring fangs and claws; the transformation from semi-cute lizard-girl to ferocious dragon was instantaneous and complete. Maybe Peach had a point; she was still dangerous, even if she might not be malevolent. "Uhh... whoo, nevermind. I stand corrected."

"Hell yeah, you do."

Mario nodded as he forced down a thick swallow. Was it so smart being alone with her like this? His instincts told him no, she wasn't going to hurt him... but now he could feel that tiny doubt in the back of his mind. Those pointy teeth and talons showed that she was beyond capable of slicing him into plumber lasagna if she were so inclined. "Right. Well, if you're okay here by yourself I'd probably better go home and catch some Z's. Shopping sprees leave me wiped."

She blinked, then looked out the window. "In this weather? You'll get washed down the sewer or something! Just stay here 'til it lets up."

He turned to the door and opened it. The rain was still coming down hard, that was true, but in the end it was the imposing forks of light flashing in the sky that made him agree to wait. Debating a moment, still ruffled by seeing her "game face", he sat down on the floor in front of the fire to dry off.

"Thanks, Kootie Pie. Wasn't trying to bail, I just, uh, didn't know if you wanted to go to bed or not and I didn't want to keep you up." He took off his gloves and rubbed his hands together. "Ahh. Nothing like a warm fire when you're soaked to the bone."

Wendy was coming back from the bathroom with her cloak and boots. "Yeah. My old room had a fireplace, too." For a brief second she fidgeted, then cleared her throat and said, "Could you, um... not call me that?"

"Huh?"

"Kootie Pie. I..." After a quick shrug she turned to place the boots next to Mario's gloves, then hung the cloak from the edge of the mantle, and it began to drip. While her back was turned, she found the courage to say, "I hate that stupid nickname. My brothers gave it to me, which should pretty much say it all."

"Makes sense," he told her sheepishly. "Didn't mean to-"

"No, no, don't apologize; forget about it. It's not like you did it on purpose." Then she sat down in the chair, kicked her heels off and rubbed her sore feet. "Ohh, that feels _great_. As much as I love getting shiny new things, I really don't like shopping for them all day long."

"Me neither, but that 'Cool Tools' place was tempting me, anyway." He pulled out a pair of pliers, sighed and tossed them on the floor. "Might have to go back and check it out, since these are gonna be rusty."

Wendy made a face as she switched feet. "Sorry, I shouldn't have kept you out in this hurricane for so long. We didn't need all this junk today."

"Don't worry about it. And you _did _need this junk today and we both know it, because there's only so many days in a row you can wear a black cloak – especially during this heat wave."

"You really should cut that out."

"Cut what out?"

"Being so nice to me," she said accusingly. "You're gonna make think you like me or something equally nuts like that. So watch yourself, plumber."

Mario was tempted to deny he was being nice, or insist that everybody deserved a little kindness now and then, but another thought occurred to him. "Yeah? So what if I _do_ like you?"

The scales on her cheeks deepened to a reddish-orange, and he found himself suspecting that a Koopa could actually blush. "Mario... _gosh. _Do you hear yourself?_"_

"I..."

Only after he'd uttered that first word did it catch up to him; he'd only meant that he didn't think she was the worst company to be keeping. Viewed in a certain light, however, it sounded like he was trying to wine and dine her, or at least fishing to see if she'd be interested. A human and a Koopa? How would that even _work?_ A change of subject was in order – and fast.

"Hey, uhh, tomorrow I have to go to a meeting with the royal council. I don't know how long I'll be, but we might get done in time for me to pick you up and find you some more furniture."

"Oh! Crap, I'm sorry, I should be letting my guest sit here!" Frowning, she started to stand up but Mario was already waving her back down.

"No, the lady should have the seat. I'm fine where I am."

"But... huh. I guess we're at a courtesy stalemate." She hesitated for a moment, chewing her lip, then sat back down. "You sure?"

"Oh, it's your first night in your new place. You should be the one enjoying it, not me."

"God, you really _are_ nice. I mean... don't take this the wrong way, but I always kind of assumed it was an act, to go along with the whole 'hero' schtick. 'Cause I didn't believe people could be so... what's a good word? That's it, right there - so _good._ Like, genuinely good way down in your guts, and not just superficially." Another shy smile. "You're kinda blowing my mind, here."

"I'm not all that mind-blowing," he tried to shrug her off. "Just a plumber doing his job."

"Isn't a plumber's job to, I dunno, fix pipes?"

"Okay, okay, you got me; I'm a working man's answer to Mother Teresa. If you're lucky, I'll bless your drains by the power of the holy such-and-such." While they were both still chuckling, he checked the window. "Well, it looks like it's letting up, and I'm beat. I should go now while I can still stand." He grabbed his gloves and pliers and stood up slowly, gritting his teeth. "Ooh, kink in the back..."

"So soon?" she asked, rising as well. Now he saw why he'd been so struck by how much older she looked when emerging from the bathroom; the Koopa girl was a few inches shorter without those high heels. "You... you don't have to go if you don't want to. I could make us some popcorn, or-"

"It'll be better for me if I take a hot shower and climb into bed than trying to sleep in the bathtub here," he laughed, still rubbing his lower back with his thumbs.

"You could have the bed; I insist! I'll take the bathtub. I've never slept in either one, so you don't have to worry about Koopa germs or whatever."

Mario squinted at her. "Hey, what is all this? I've got my own hut, you don't need to go to any trouble. Unless there's some other reason..." He gulped. "Hey, earlier when I said I liked you, I wasn't-"

"Whoa, _whoa, _totally wrong direction!" she cried out, holding her hands up in front of herself as if to ward off a sudden wave of romantic advances.

"If it's not that, then..."

Without warning, there was a horribly put-out expression on her face as her eyes slid away from him and to the side. "Would you believe... that even after I made such a stink about being able to protect myself... that I still don't much feel like sleeping alone in this strange new place, in a strange new town where the only person who doesn't hate me wears blue overalls?"

The last part of that was said in a rush, as if the words were stabbing her on their way out and she couldn't wait to get rid of them. Mario frowned at her, then laid a hand on her shoulder. "Listen. I'm not that far away, and I doubt anybody's going to give you any trouble tonight. We'll get you a deadbolt and a chain tomorrow while we're out, okay?"

"And a baseball bat?" When he blinked, she ran her hands through her hair and shrieked, _"AGH,_ I hate this! I'm a Koopa, we're practically _bred_ for battle, and here I am whining and acting like a scaredy cat! You're right. There's no monster under my bed. I'll... see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." He looked at the soft orange hair again, now dry, that she'd just come close to pulling out in a fit of rage. "It's pretty."

"Hmm?"

Gathering his wits, he yanked open the door. "Uhh, nothin'. Goodnight, Wendy."

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: Okay, so now that I have the opportunity I wanted to address a few concerns you may have about my portrayal of the Mario universe. To be honest, I derived most of my material from the cartoon "Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3", and took a little here and there from the actual games (and the other cartoons). That should help explain why Wendy has orange hair, due to the episode where she was turned into a human. Also, that's why I've got Peach as a redhead instead of a blonde; they bleached it for Super Mario World (the game, not the show). Before that, she DID have red hair, dammit! But I kept the Koopalings' original names, because the ones they made up for the show were really lame (what the crap is a "Cheatsy"?)

More thoughts next chapter.


	3. A Turn for the Worse

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 3: A Turn for the Worse 

"The village needs this new amusement park. It's been pretty mundane around here lately. I've been flat out bored for the past couple weeks."

Mario, Peach, Luigi, and Toad were seated around a rather large round table, capable of seating twenty comfortably. Toad was the one speaking. He had to sit on a phone book to actually see over the table, but his opinion was still highly valued. "This place is as dull as dishwater. We need some quality entertainment before we all go postal!"

"Yes, Mr. Kinopio," Peach said, addressing him by his seldom-known last name. "I have heard several citizens complain of lack of recreational activities in the region. But we simply don't have the funds for so extensive a project."

"But what if we got some area merchants to sponsor? They put up ads in their shops, we put up ads for their stores in the amusement park, maybe even let 'em open up gift shops inside, some food kiosks. In exchange, they help pay for the park. It'll work, I swear!"

"I'm inclined to agree with Toad," Luigi said. "It's not as bad around here as he says, but a park would definitely make this town less drab. I've found myself with nothing to do on many an afternoon, as well, and I think this could be just the thing."

A royal headshake. "I'm not sure how we could pull it off..."

"What if I got some signatures of store-owners that would want to get in on this?" Toad pressed. "Then would you be willing to dig into the vault? And hey, you'd make your money back eventually, and then some."

The princess leaned back in her chair, finger aside her chin. "Well... I'm still not entirely convinced. The initial investment is too great to give any go-ahead without careful consideration. What do you think, Mario?" No answer. "Mario?"

Mario was looking out the window, supporting his head with his arm. He didn't appear to be halfway interested at all, or even listening. Usually, he took part in these meetings with a lot of vigor, and she had a sneaking suspicion he would be in favor of the park. So where had he drifted off to? Peach found herself very curious by now, and a bit miffed. She motioned to a guard, who walked over to the daydreamer and tapped his shoulder.

"Huh, what? Yes!"

She folded her arms. "Yes, what?"

"Yes, whatever you... said." He guiltily looked down.

"Mario, what's up, man?" Toad asked. "You ain't even in the same time zone as us."

The man sighed, running a gloved hand over his face. "I'm sorry, guys, I was just thinking about-"

"About Wendy?" Luigi looked at him with a sly smile on his face.

"Yeah," he affirmed, confused. "How'd you know that?"

"Please, Mario," the Princess said, rolling her eyes. "You've been with her pretty much exclusively for the past two days."

"Sheesh," Toad put in. "We don't need a crystal ball to figure that one out."

"Well, she's getting settled in," he replied defiantly. "I don't exactly see you guys jumping at the chance to help."

_"Help?"_ Luigi said with no small amount of incredulity. "You're practically doing it _for_ her."

"Hey, c'mon, I don't see what the big deal is. I'm the only friend she has right now in the whole world. Do you really think it would be right for me to ditch her in the eleventh hour?"

"Helping is fine, but you seem joined at the hip with her," Peach replied. "Acclimating that Koopa eats up all of your attention. You've been neglecting your duties."

Mario had a blank look on his face. "I have?"

"Remember... the basement..."

Mario struck himself in the head. "Mama Mia! I'm sorry, Peach! I was scheduled to fix that leak yesterday, wasn't I?"

"Yes, you were," she said, a vein throbbing at her temple. "Please do that today."

_"Tu sei ignorante,"_ Luigi murmured.

"Eh?" Mario said distractedly.

"Nothing."

"You know," Peach continued, "there's a couple feet of water down there now. I suggest you take your Frog Suit or something."

"Okay, I will."

"Good." Peach fixed him with a steely gaze. "Now that we've got your head down from the clouds, what do you think of Toad's idea for the amusement park?"

"Oh yeah, that; he told me about it last week. Great idea. Probably would give the townsfolk something to do, maybe generate some revenue. Wendy would like it."

They all groaned. "Meeting adjourned," Peach gusted, standing wearily. "I need a good, strong cup of Earl Grey..."

-o-o-o-o-

The sun was shining brilliantly as Mario exited the palace. He drew a deep breath of the sweet air, trying to relax. Stress levels had reached an all-time high recently. He knew the Princess was angry with him for not keeping up to task, but she didn't seem to understand how difficult turning a villain into a pillar of the community was. The mushrooms still weren't accepting her like they should be. He couldn't really blame them, though; up until the recent events, he didn't trust any of the Koopa Klan further than he could throw them. Which wasn't all that far.

Well, he'd make it up to Peach. He'd run home and get his Frog Suit right now; it was time for him to get back to his occupation for once.

As he walked down the road toward his hut, he noticed how clear the sky was. What a beautiful afternoon! He hoped he could finish the basement in time to take a walk through the park – maybe on the way over to help Wendy with her furniture.

This pleasant thought was still floating around in his mind when he turned the corner and heard the commotion. He jogged over to find out what was happening and spotted a crowd of mushrooms gathered around a store front, yelling and carrying on, but he couldn't see what was going on over all the caps.

"Get the wench!"

_"Thief!"_

The mob was thick, but he eventually worked his way to the front with a few well-placed shoulder checks. When he got there, he received quite a shock.

Wendy was pinned to the ground by five mushrooms, struggling under her superior strength. She had been wearing a jacket, but nothing was left of it; under that was a pair of blue jeans and a pink tank top, which was torn a bit at the bottom. He could see she was growling, near feral as she screamed, "Don't pull my hair!"

"You bitch!"

Mario's face instantly went dark. He didn't know what the fuss was, but it certainly didn't look right. His hand darted into his pocket and pulled out the Fire Flower, and he squeezed. Instantly, his overalls lightened to an orange hue, and his irises turned blood red. He held his hand next to his side and built up the energy for a fireball. When it was strong enough, he let it fall. The explosion and crackle of fire licking the backsides of the nearby mushrooms was enough to grab everyone's attention.

"Okay," he said, his voice a tad deeper than normal. "Would someone care to explain?" The gaggle of fungi were frozen in place. He picked one up and shook him. "What's going on, or don't you know?"

"W-we caught her st-st-stealing, sir," he replied.

"Better," he said, letting him fall. "Stealing what?"

"That," he said, pointing to a candy bar lying on the ground.

"Don't you believe them, Mario," Wendy pleaded, now more sad and ashamed than angry with him on the scene. "It's not true!"

He looked dumbfounded at the six-inch piece of wrapped chocolate. "You were about to pummel a girl to death over a one-coin sugar rush. For Christ's sake!" It was so ludicrous that he couldn't believe it. Cracking his knuckles, he walked over to where they had her pinned. "Get off, before I... _assist_ you."

They backed away, and the young Koopa scrambled to her feet, huddling as close to Mario as possible.

"You okay?"

"Y-yeah."

He let out a small, relieved sigh. "Good."

"Mario, I totally paid for that-"

"I know you did, but that's beside the point. It's a stinking candy bar!" He turned back to the still-furious mushrooms. "You should all be ashamed. Since when do we treat shoplifters like murderers?"

"Justice should be served!"

"Not like that, it shouldn't," he said. "Not by mobbing a girl over this stupid of a thing." He picked up the candy bar and threw a gold coin to the shopkeeper. "There. Now it doesn't matter if she did it or not." Nobody moved. _"Arrivederci!"_

Every 'shroom scurried away. They all knew better than to mess with Mario when he's powered up.

Wendy looked up into his face. 'Whoa, does she look rough,' he thought to himself. Her make-up was smeared, and her hair was disheveled. Other than that, he saw no bruises or any other real harm.

"Thank you, I..." She quickly turned away, picking up one of her sandals that had fallen off in the scuffle. "I don't know what they would've done to me if you hadn't come along when you did."

"I don't wanna think about it," he said, handing her the chocolate. "What happened?"

"I dunno, I was just leaving the store when some idiot yelled that I'd stolen it, even though I had just paid. It was in a bag before, but it didn't seem to matter to them." She stared at the candy in her hands for a moment before handing it to him. "I can't eat this now. Feels like I'd be digesting trouble."

"I see your point," he said, throwing it in a nearby trash can as he put his other arm around her shoulders and began to lead her away. "Well, let's just hope this is an isolated incident."

"Yeah. Let's hope."

-o-o-o-o-

Unfortunately, it wasn't. Over the following weeks Wendy O. Koopa got accused of everything from graffiti to rape, and the accusers never really bothered with evidence. Mario was there to help her some of the time, but even the red-and-blue-clad adventurer himself can't be everywhere at once. A few times he had to bail her out when the police didn't take her side. They couldn't find any proof, and she was always released.

Mario went to the Princess about it. She sympathized, but reminded him that the girl was his responsibility. The mustachioed plumber was none too happy about that, either. To be frank, Mario was so furious that his friends were afraid he was going to develop an ulcer or something.

Things continued this way until it got to the point where she wouldn't even go out in public unless she really needed to. Sometimes not even that saved her from them, as they threw rocks through her windows, spray-painted graffiti on the door. Once they even committed arson; she lost everything she'd accumulated since her escape in one fell swoop.

Which was when she moved in with Mario.

-o-o-o-o-

"You have totally lost it, Brother Mio," Luigi grunted as he helped maneuver the sturdy new sofa-sleeper into Mario's living room. "Shacking up with a Koopa."

"I'm not shacking up with her!" Mario shouted back. Well, shouted as much as one can while struggling under the weight of oak furniture. "This is temporary until we can close a deal on a new place for her. Where else is she supposed to live?"

"How about Bowser's Keep?"

Mario made a face as they set the couch down. "That's not funny."

"No, it's not. But she might be better off going back there if this keeps up and you know it."

"Going back to an abusive father?" Mario fired up in the blink of an eye. "Back to the torment of her brothers, to some lonely, stinky old castle where she's completely alone – y'know, when she's not being physically assaulted or shouted at, or-"

"Allright, allright, already!" Luigi snapped. "I know it was no bed of roses, but... can you honestly say being a target for everything but burning crosses on her lawn is an improvement?"

A prickle of cold ran down Mario's spine. It was true; there were certain similarities to their home country's sordid past going on in Mushroom Village. Depressing, but true.

"I won't send her back to that, that... that friggin' _wino._"

In spite of himself, Luigi chuckled. "Spoken like a true New Yorker."

Mario welcomed the change of subject. "You better believe it. You know I sometimes _still _walk into the street and stick my hand out, hoping for the Yellow Cab?"

"Hey, they service a pretty wide area, but not _that_ wide!"

The brothers were still laughing when Wendy stumbled inside. "That's it! I've had about all I can take!"

"What's it?" Luigi asked politely, even though his dread was pretty evident in his tone.

"That girl at the Fruitee Freez _spit_ in my snow cone!" she growled. "When I demanded she make it again, she told me, 'Then you'd probably want a snow cone from Dark Land, 'cause it's the only place _you'll_ get one sans-saliva!'"

Mario sighed. "So what did you do?"

Wendy stared at him for a moment as if the answer were obvious. "I threw it at her. What do you think I should have done, eat it? Eat that grody spit-seasoned crap? Forget it! No amount of high-mindedness can make me choke down someone else's bodily secretions!"

"Well, my work here is done," Luigi said, dusting off his palms as he backed toward the door. "You two enjoy; I, uh... got some weeding to do in the garden."

"See ya, Bro," Mario said as the door swung shut.

"And your brother doesn't even want anything to do with me," Wendy sighed bitterly. "Who can blame him when I storm in here, whining about a snow cone?"

"They shouldn't have done that," Mario told her patiently as he nudged the sofa into a better location. "Sorry."

"Stop apologizing on their behalf, okay? Just stop. It makes me more mad that you can be so decent to me, but those fungi can't even do their jobs and sell me what I'm paying for! How is that fair to me OR you, since you spend so much time running around cleaning up their messes?"

"I know, I know." He took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, scratching as he thought. "Gah, I wish I could think of some way to fix this... a way to open their eyes to how wrong they're being."

"Let's move to your world," she urged – and not for the first time. Her claws slid around one of his biceps as she smiled at him encouragingly. "Just get away from Koopas and Toadstools and all of this! Somewhere we can make a fresh start!"

Mario laughed in her face, and she scowled. "Sorry, Wen, but things would be a thousand times worse there. We only have one sentient species on Earth, remember?"

Her eyes widened momentarily before sliding away from him. "Right, right..."

"The government would have you locked in a research lab inside of your first week, poking and prodding you to figure out what makes you tick. And for the same reason the mushrooms spat in your drink: you're a little different. No... this may not be an ideal situation, but at least you're not being dissected or quarantined."

"Whoopee. That really cheers me up, Mario."

"Sorry," he said with a shrug. "But it is the way it is."

They spent a while figuring out where to store the few things that had survived the fire, then set her up on the hide-a-bed. Mario had been about to turn in himself when she asked something of him that was, to say the least, a teensy bit unorthodox.

"NO WAY! I... Wendy, how can you be asking me that?"

"Dude, get your mind out of the gutter!" she blustered, cheeks glowing like traffic lights. "I didn't mean... okay, so there's not really an easy way I could have asked that _without_ it sounding a little weird, but you gotta believe it's not what I meant!" When he didn't answer, still gaping, she fidgeted and whispered, "Just for tonight? I... come on, my house was burned down. I'm feeling jumpy."

"We can't sleep in the same bed," he persisted. "It's not right, we're not..."

"Not what? The same species?" Wendy laid down on the bed, crossing her legs at the ankles. Her nightgown ended mid-calf so it's not as if she were under-dressed, but the simple fact that it was a nightgown to begin with gave him pause. "Exactly. I'm a lizard and you're a monkey. So what's gonna happen between us?"

It still seemed wrong, but he couldn't argue with her logic. That didn't make it any easier. She was a _Koopa. _Sticking up for her when she was in need was one thing, but lying down next to the daughter of his most hated enemy? In the end, however, he saw her lip quiver before she could hide it, and he remembered what she'd been through. That made the decision for him.

For a long while, they lay facing outward, too tense and uncomfortable with the arrangement to sleep. The single pillow between them might as well have been a vermicelli noodle for all its effectiveness as a barrier. Then, with no warning, she rolled over and embraced the pillow; he more felt than saw it, but he craned his neck around to raise his eyebrows at her.

"Mario?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm..." She picked at a stray thread with her claw for a few seconds before whispering, "Do you remember that time Larry turned me into a human with the magic wand, and you and I had a nice candlelight dinner together... until Luigi and Princess Toadstool caught sight of my tail and saw through the whole scheme?"

He rolled more fully onto his back as he nodded. "I do, Lady Fettuccine Alfredo."

For whatever reason, her breath caught when she realized he even remembered the flimsy alias she'd come up with. "Wh... you really seemed to, um... to like that girl. The fake, monkeyfied Wendy."

"Sure," he said with a smirk. "The dame waltzes in wearing some glittery emerald dress, and I fell for her like a ton of bricks – all according to the master plan. Why?"

"I dunno." She blinked at him, as if she hadn't been thinking about why she wanted to pose the question before it tumbled out. "Huh. I really don't know why I asked you that. Maybe I was just wondering if you had a thing for blondes. Forget it."

"You were cute as a blonde human," he admitted with a slight nod. "But you're cute now, too."

"Oh I am, am I? For an amphibious creature from hell, right?"

"For a person who's my friend."

Wendy shifted positions, and he could feel one of her hands against his arm. It made them both tense for a moment, but then they shared an awkward smile and relaxed again. "Where _are_ all the other Koopas? Why won't Daddy introduce me to them so I can start looking for one as spectacular as you?"

Neither of them had an answer to that. They just laid there, staring into space, until Mario was almost asleep. Then Wendy broke the uneasy silence.

"Earlier, you called me 'Wen.' Nobody ever has."

"Huh? Oh, yeah I did. What about it?" He frowned. "That's right, you don't like nicknames."

"No, no!" she protested, placing a claw on his wrist. "It's... I guess you could use it sometimes, when you don't feel like reaching for that second syllable."

"Great," he half-laughed. "Giving a plumber license to be lazy. That's all we need."

"Shut up," she giggled, rolling over and away from him. And then, on that lighter note, they found sleep a lot more easily.

-o-o-o-o-

Luckily, things cooled off for a few days following Wendy's move. This probably had something to do with the police announcing that they were actively searching for the perpetrator of the arson. Perhaps they didn't much like Bowser's daughter personally, but arson was still a crime, and the danger that the fire could have spread to other nearby huts was very real. It made the racist mushrooms gun-shy.

So they went on living, and Wendy went on being gossiped about everywhere she went. It wasn't perfect, but by and large, things came pretty darn close to normal.

Then disaster struck.

Wendy turned up missing. Nobody could find her, but the police weren't exactly motivated. After an exhaustive one-man search, Mario finally found her himself – beaten to a pulp and left for dead in a filthy back alley.

As he rushed her to the ER, where he had to pound the counter and scream to get any of the nurses to even consider admitting her, Wendy explained to him that she'd ducked down the alley to avoid walking past the girl from the Fruitee Freez. That was when she was jumped by a number of 'shrooms; somewhere between five and fifty was her best guess, since she'd already taken a whack to the head by the time she got a good look. Two of them were already in the hospital, actually... with huge bloody gashes where she'd fought back.

They were let off with warnings. So was Wendy; she'd been charged with assault.

That was the final dust particle on the end of the last straw. A day or so passed, and no one saw hide nor hair of Wendy. For that matter, no one saw much of Mario, either.

-o-o-o-o-

Peach walked down the hall toward the royal kitchen. She was starving; a parade of stupid meetings and face-time with important families had prevented her from having luncheon. Now was the time to make up for it.

"Gaston?"

The rather plump mushroom poked his head out the door. _"Oui, ma jeune dame?" _

Ahh, yes; the quintessential French cook. "Could you send a plate of beluga with crackers up to my room? And some tea while you're at it."

_"Ce sera mon plaisir."_

"Why can't he speak English?" she muttered to herself as she traipsed back up to her bedchambers. "He can understand it, of course, but he can't speak it. Why?"

As she reached her door, she met Toad coming from it, looking more nervous than she was used to seeing him. "Oh, there you are, Princess! I've got something you'll wanna read."

"Can't it wait?" He handed her a folded piece of paper, an anxious look on his face, and she frowned down at him as she put a hand to her hip. "This isn't that petition, is it?"

"Wha... No, no! Though that is coming along..."

"Well, what is it? I really have a lot of documents to go over, and I prefer to be left-"

"Just read it. I'd definitely say it's more important than that crap."

She looked at him skeptically, then unfolded it and read:

_"Dear Majesty,  
For the past decade or so, my brother and I have been living here in Mushroom Village. Save one or two headaches, I've found it a fairly pleasant existence. But things have been happening lately that don't sit well with me. It kills me, but I'm afraid I have to leave.  
I've been preparing for my journey for the past week, and I've saved up several thousand coins to last me until I reach my destination. Wendy's coming with me; she's obviously not welcome here. Don't try to follow us, either; you won't be able to. I'm sorry it all had to end this way.  
Be well, and never wash your hair down the sink.  
-Mario"_

The Princess felt her knees lock and all the color draining from her face as the note fell unnoticed from her hand.

"Perfect..."

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: Here's where the adventure really gets set up. I'm sorry if you're noticing that there's a weird gap in the story between the "REDUXED" chapters and the old ones that haven't been edited yet. See, when playing around with them I wrote a few new scenes. For instance, this chapter's scene with Wendy moving into Mario's hut is completely fresh. That made the chapters longer, and I changed where each one ended and began... so the first 7 are now the first 8. Starting with Chapter 9, however... it will be brand spanking new continuation! Look forward to it!


	4. Forward To Go Back

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 4: Forward To Go Back

It was bitterly cold in Ice World. Of course. Some people foolishly called it Winter Wonderland, but you wouldn't dare while you were visiting. This was the kind of cold that bit down to the bone. People entered and never returned, frozen in some random, horrible pose... forever.

Mario and Wendy trudged through the deep snow, bundled in several layers of thick clothing. The past few days had been a sub-zero hell, nearly causing them frostbite on several occasions. Mario was glad he'd brought his entire supply of Fire Flowers; they would surely have perished without them.

As they huddled in the lee of a boulder, Wendy screamed at him above the roar of the wind, "H-how much f-farther?"

"Ab-bout three m-miles," he told her, holding a glowing fireball in his hand a few inches from their blue noses. "It won't feel like so long if we try to keep our speed up."

They remained silent a moment. "Y-you shouldn't have t-to-"

"Shh." Mario hugged her close, thankful for her warmth. "D-don't."

When she buried her face in his chest, he didn't try to stop her. Maybe that way she could stave off the instinctual hibernation she'd been struggling against since they first entered the Winter Wasteland. With every step they took away from the Village, he became more and more worried for her health. On the other hand, it hadn't been terribly healthy for her in the place they just vacated.

"You're going to die out here," she sobbed in a weak, feeble way. "Over me. It's not worth it."

"I told you, don't. I'm here by choice. To help you, whether you want it or not, so you'd better just get used to my stupid face."

She nodded, claws bunching up his many layers of clothing that didn't do nearly enough to stave off the chill. After a few more minutes of rest, they resumed their seemingly endless trek toward their destination.

-o-o-o-o-

"Well?"

The throne room was deathly still. "So, I'm to believe between you that nobody has a plan?"

"Princess," Luigi began, "with all due respect, I'd say this whole thing is, at least partially, your fault."

_"Excuse me?"_

"You didn't listen to him. He told me about the whole thing, too." The green-capped plumber wrung his cap between nervous hands; he'd rarely ever spoken to Her Royal Shroomitude with such directness. "You know he really cares about her, but... the mushroom public just don't give a biscotti. They see a Koopa, and the more these bogus accusations pile up, the worse it gets. Did you even hear about what happened last month?"

"MacTaggert getting so drunk he egged his own car?"

Luigi looked at her confusedly. "Wh- no, to Wendy!"

"Oh, no, I guess not..." Peach tried to go back over all the things that had happened in the last month in her mind; a monarch has many responsibilities. "I thought I heard something about her attacking a little old lady, but-"

"That bull?" Toad rolled his eyes. "You didn't hear about her disappearance?"

Peach's brow furrowed at this. "No, I certainly didn't. What disappearance? When was this and why wasn't I informed?"

"Somebody whipped the living tar outta her and skipped off like it was no big deal. If Mario had found her only a couple hours later, she wouldn't have made it."

"Great Mushroom Spirits, I never realized the situation had gotten so out of hand!"

"Yeah, you couldn't predict it from them defacing her property, burning down her house, and accusing her of everything under the sun." Luigi stared at her evenly, and the princess breathed a heavy sigh.

"Maybe you're right... I should have listened. Should have put a stop to the senseless violence. I guess I just didn't want to believe in a Koopa over my own people. No ruler wants to admit she reigns over a country whose inhabitants condone random acts of racial supremacy." After a few seconds of silence, Peach looked up at him intently, a sorrowful, guilty expression on her face. "Was it... really as bad as you say?"

"I visited her in the hospital." He looked down at the cap in his hands; it was hardly recognizable, he'd twisted it out of shape so much. "She was bad. Things were in casts, and there was an IV, and the blood... I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't gone. Mother Mary full of grace, I'd been pretty indifferent toward her before that, but that was- it was... there just ain't words."

A royal fist connected with a royal armrest. "How could we have been so blind? How could I have let it get that far out of hand before lifting a finger? I'm a disgrace to the crown."

"That's not what matters," Toad squeaked impatiently. "We gotta find 'em! And I say the next person that attacks her goes straight to Fungitraz. As much as I don't wanna marry her or nothin', geez, treating her like that makes us just as bad as the Koopas."

"Agreed, but how do you propose we find them? We don't have a single lead."

"I do," Luigi said.

"What?"

The green-shirted plumber squirmed. "He made me promise not to tell."

They both turned to stare at him. Peach leaned forward slightly and hissed, "Luigi, you'd better spill, or so help me-"

"Allright, allright," he said, clapping a hand to his forehead as if to ward off her verbal assault. "But I don't know if either of them will really come back with us. This might all be futile."

"It doesn't matter," Peach half-shouted. "We have to try!"

-o-o-o-o-

"F-finally!"

Wendy looked down into the icy blue pipe. It was five feet in diameter, and seemed to have no bottom. There would be no telling where it ended up without diving in. "Where d-does this go again?"

"I'm not sure," Mario said, clutching at his parka. This cave gave him the creeps, and it wasn't any warmer in here than it was outside. "It's another w-world, I worked that much out, but... I've never actually gone thr-through."

"Well, I'm sure it'll b-be allright." She stood on tiptoe and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Let's go."

He made no move, eyes wide as he looked down at her. Even in such a biting cold that her lips had almost frozen to his face, he felt warmth spreading throughout his entire body. What had she just done? What did she mean by it? "Wendy, I... why-"

"F-for good luck." Despite the cold, he could see her blush. "S-s-sorry."

Not that he had entirely recovered from the unexpected action, but they were going to become ice sculptures if he stuck around to contemplate it any longer. Clearing his throat, he smiled at her and offered his hand. "Ready?"

"Y-yeah." She slipped her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Let's do this crazy thing."

After a moment's hesitation, they jumped down the pipe together.

-o-o-o-o-

"Sufferin' spaghetti, it's cold!"

Luigi, Toad, and Peach were trekking across the frozen tundra in pursuit of Mario and his scaly friend. They, however, were in an ATV and thus were moving much faster, which put them at a distinct advantage over their prey. There was only one small problem.

"I wish this thing had a roof," the Princess commented.

"I'm freezin' my spores off!" Toad rubbed his hands together and blew into them, then reached up and pulled his mushroom cap lower over his ears. "Are we there yet?"

Luigi clenched the steering wheel. "For the umpteenth time, Toad, _no,_ we aren't. Would you please just shut up and wait?"

Due to their supreme discomfort, they failed to notice the nearly silent tank, following, waiting to see where they would stop. Its driver sat at the controls, motionless save for the intermittent slight course corrections. The rigidity of his posture bespoke of his grim patience. Be it hours or days, he would wait. It wouldn't be long.

-o-o-o-o-

Mario blinked around at the strange surroundings. It was some kind of lush, tropical jungle; oodles of foliage. He wished he'd dropped by here to check it out beforehand; now he was lost, and that meant Wendy was as well. Not exactly a masterful emigration.

"Wow, talk about c-climate shock." She was right; it was very hot and humid there. The heat felt good after nearly turning into ice cubes, but it probably wouldn't in an hour or two. Mario made a mental note to try and remember the way they came. After all, they could always return to Ice World; not a welcome prospect, but a last resort if this world turned out to be uninhabitable.

"Maybe we should start looking for civilization or something."

"Yeah, maybe." Her blue eyes swept the landscape, shading them from the piercing rays of sunlight with her claw. "What kind of fruit is that?"

Mario followed her gaze to the strange-looking large apples hanging from a nearby tree. "No idea."

"They look too big to hang from a tree."

"Either way, I hope they're okay to eat," he said, walking toward the trunk. "We're going to need nutrition sooner or-"

_"OH!"_

Mario spun around. _"Wendy?"_

He was shocked to see her tied up by some sort of red, glistening rope. Standing behind and all around them were a bunch of dinosaurs.

_DINOSAURS?_

After a moment squandered getting over the fact that there was a herd of these supposedly-extinct animals in front of him, he cleared his throat. "Hey, you can't do this!" he shouted at them, patting every pocket in his overalls to come up with a Fire Flower. Where was that stupid power-up?

Meanwhile, the dinos were advancing. They were all a sort of small tyrannosaur, with stubby arms and short, upward-curved tails. They were all sorts of exotic colors, bright greens, blues and reds. Presently, a yellow one walked up to Mario. To his extreme shock, it spoke.

"Yoshi!"

-o-o-o-o-

"Well, here we are."

"I hope our wheels will be allright here," Luigi said as they all gathered around the blue pipe, rubbing their hands together, teeth chattering. As he spoke, he cast a quick glance over his shoulder at the ATV. Roof or no roof, it beat walking back to Mushroom Village through miles of snow drifts.

"It should be," Peach told him, though she didn't sound all that sure of herself. "At least it's not out in the elements."

"Yeah. Guess that's a small mercy."

"So," Toad said, fidgeting, "how do we know they hopped the Warp Pipe at all? How do we even know they made it this far?"

"They made it. I know my brother, and he wouldn't let them give up." Luigi leaned against the lip. "He told me he'd found this pipe last year. Gotta hand it to him; much as I hate to admit I don't know as much as he does, he really does have a loopy knack for being able to tell where these things go – and he says this one's an Off-world Shuttle. From his point of view, it was the only way he could think of to help his new _amiga_."

"Oh, I wish he hadn't done this!"

"I know, Princess, but he did. You know how life has been for Wendy these past few weeks. He took it as hard as she did; it's like that uh... that 'empathy' rigamarole. Mario has always been a sucker for hard-luck cases. Isn't that why he bothered rescuing you from Bowser in the first place? It's like he's gotta do everything in his power to help anybody who's in trouble."

"I know." She folded her arms against the cold, staring into the blackness they meant to embrace. "That's what scares me the most."

The three exchanged a unanimous glance, then plunged into the unknown.

-o-o-o-o-

"Ahh, thank you very much, Majesty. You've led me straight to them." As he exited the tank, he checked his pack. Food, water, a compass, a blanket... and his pistol. All accounted for. "Nothing to delay me now. Let's get it over with."

Adjusting his tattered brown mantle, he calmly walked toward the cave.

-o-o-o-o-

Wendy's head swung this way and that, sweat pouring down her neck from under her hair. The short dinosaurs were everywhere, all around the village. In fact, they were all she'd seen since they had entered it. They were tending gardens, building houses; there were even a few little ones, playing out in the yard. It was such a quaint little hamlet, where everyone seemed to know your name.

However, these folk didn't seem to be glad they came.

"Where are you taking us?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yoshi," one replied. "Yoshi yoshi _yoshiii_ YOSHI yoshi."

"It's no use, Wendy," Mario said. "It looks like that's all they can say. And me without my Berlitz English-Fossil dictionary."

They came to a stop in front of a building at the center of the tiny town. The soldier-dinosaurs, their extremely long tongues still binding them, dragged the twosome inside.

It was a modest hut, decorated with beautiful flowers and uncut jewels. In the center, directly under a hole in the ceiling that served as a skylight, sat an elderly dino, dark purple in color, resting atop a large pillow. The soldiers dropped them at his feet.

Mario stood up and wiped the saliva from his overalls. "Allright, can't somebody tell me what the fungus is going on?"

"We should ask you that question, strange one."

Wendy gasped, pointing a claw at the aged dinosaur. "You can _talk?"_

"Yes. I am of the few Yoshis that can speak your tongue."

"Good," Mario sighed, standing. "Maybe now we can get things straightened out around here."

"Yes," he agreed. "I would like to know why you have come to our land."

"We're trying to get away from oppression," Wendy informed him with a meek dip of her head; she sensed he was the closest thing to royalty these odd creatures had and figured a little bowing and scraping wouldn't go amiss. "And um, depression."

"You see," Mario continued, "Wendy here is a member of our enemies' family, so the rest of my villiage didn't exactly take a shine to her. When they started literally trying to kill her, well, I figured it was time to get the hell outta Dodge."

The wizened dino stroked his beard. "I see. You wish to mate with a member of the other clan, and your clansmen do not approve." He tilted his head to the side. "You do not even seem to be of the same species. How strange."

Mario broke out into a cold sweat (for a change from the hot sweats he'd had since their arrival). The guy had it all wrong! "Uh, well, that's- we're not-"

The Yoshi raised a hand to silence them, nodding sagely. "You look for safety on our island, yes?"

"Well..." He decided it would be easier just to let the "mating" thing go. "That's right, sir, if we may."

The village elder squinted hard at Wendy. "I recall one of her kind being here once. He was a fearsome being, who nearly drove us all from our land with his strange magics. That was many, many moon cycles ago."

"That would be my father," she said with a sigh. "I don't think I was hatched when he did that, or else I would have remembered this place."

The old man's eyes widened. "I can see why your clan is at odds with hers, Furry-Faced One. They are not a gentle people."

It took Mario a moment to realize the elder was addressing him. He absentmindedly rubbed his mustache as he said, "I know, sir, I know. The Koopas aren't exactly known for their hospitality. Bowser is the biggest bully in the Mushroom Kingdom. But Wendy is different – she is! I just want to find her a place where she can live her life without looking over her shoulder every moment of it!"

Eyes squinting, the dinosaur sized Wendy up. She gulped; it had the unfortunate side effect of looking like a hungry stare. "Yes. She does not have the same evil look in her eyes as the dark one from long ago did. Her aura is not pure white, but it is a pale blue." He sat for several minutes, contemplating. Then he rose as he spoke, looking at both of them once again. "I do not believe she will be any trouble. Furry-Faced One, you and your Koopa mate are granted sanctuary on this humble island. Our land is yours to live on so long as you do not break our laws or harm our people."

"Thank you, sir!" Mario reached forward to shake his hand.

"Eh? What now do you want?"

"Oh, sorry. It's... just a custom where I'm from." He hesitantly lowered his hand, feeling like an idiot.

"Hmm. You must show me these customs at another time. I have matters of our island to tend to." He turned to a nearby green Yoshi. "Take these two to Yoshi's old hut. They may live there."

"Yoshi!"

After a quick bow and sputtered thanks to the elder, they were escorted down the street. As they walked along, the Yoshi turned to them. "Hello."

"You can speak, too?" Mario asked.

"Some, yes."

"That old guy knew what he was doing," Wendy said. "He got us a guard we can understand!"

"Great Yoshi know many things." He nodded, an action full of a reverence that neither of them would have expected from a dinosaur. "Great Yoshi wise."

"Very wise," Mario responded. "What's your name?"

"Yoshi."

Wendy scratched her head. "But aren't they all called Yoshis?"

"The way we say it. My name 'Yoshi', my father name 'Yoshi'. Friend old, empty house we going to name 'Yoshi'."

Mario muttered to Wendy, "Yeah, now we get it, don't we?"

"Must be how they pronounce it," she responded. "Inflection. I can't hear any difference, either."

"Here."

The modest hut was definitely nothing to write home about. The inside was furnished only with a single bed of straw and a wooden chest.

"Goodbye," Yoshi said.

"Bye," Wendy shouted, "and thanks!" He smiled and walked back toward the Great Yoshi's hut. They stood watching after him for a moment before stepping inside.

"Well," Mario grunted, "it looks like we're gonna have to... share the bed. Again."

"Yeah." She nervously twirled her hair, then shook her head to clear it of the stray dark thoughts. "Our parkas will make good blankets, too."

"Hey, yeah, they sure will." They took all their warm outer layers off and laid them down on the bed, and kicked their shoes into the corner. Presently, Mario wandered over to the chest and lifted the lid. "I wonder what's in this?"

"Well," Wendy said as she removed her hairbow, "what's in it?"

He let out a blast of laughter. "Big fat goose egg. I guess it's for storage." He shrugged and tossed his coin pouch into it. Then he yawned. "Madonna, nothing like a trek across a tundra to tucker you out."

"Yeah, me too." The girl also yawned, flashing her fangs as she stretched both arms above her head.

"Contagious," he observed, and Wendy flashed him a bemused grin. Looks like it was time to literally hit the hay.

The two travelers snuggled under the covers next to each other, facing outward. Despite their having done it once before, it was still a little odd to be bunking so close – and without the added boundary of the pillow they had used on the previous occasion. Every time he shifted, he felt her back against his – both of which tensed as they held perfectly still, waiting for the other person to jerk away or react. In all honesty, they both thought about relocating to the floor just to simplify everything, but neither one wanted to admit there was any reason they shouldn't be comfortable sharing a bed.

"This is actually pretty soft," he said at one point, trying to diffuse the situation as he pulled the parka up to his chin.

"What? Oh, the _bed!"_ A mad giggle tried to break free of her throat, but she caught it and stuffed it back down. "It sure is. And that's coming from a spoiled Koopa girl who's used to nothing but the finest Pidget-feather mattresses. Probably has something to do with us being so tired."

"Yeah, probably does."

She rolled to face his back, anxiety creeping into her voice. "Mario, are we... going to be okay?"

A tired kind of warmth crept into his voice. "Sure we will. We're here now, away from everything. There's nothing else left to be afraid of."

"You're right." She settled down and closed her eyes. Then another notion came to her – one she was very hesitant to even contemplate herself, let alone give voice to it. She toyed with it for a few moments, then decided to speak up. "Mario..."

"Hmm?"

She nearly lost her nerve, but took a deep breath and continued, "When the Great Yoshi said I was... your _mate,_ how did it make you feel?"

But the only response was a quiet snore.

"Of course he'd have fallen asleep," she laughed quietly. After a moment's internal debate, she stretched out and planted a soft peck on his cheek, then whispered in his ear, "Sweet dreams."

-o-o-o-o-

Three figures moved slowly through the arid jungle, growing steadily more indistinct as the scorching sun moved beneath the horizon.

_"Ow!"_ a female voice yelped in the shadows.

The tall one turned quickly. "What, what happened?"

"I scraped my ankle on something," she replied. "I'm fine, it mostly took me by surprise. We're bumping around half-blind now that the sun's setting."

"How do you think _I_ feel?" the short one whined. "All these low roots and rocks are startin' to tick me off! Lousy, stinkin'..."

"Maybe we should stop here," said the tall one, looking around. "It's too dark to see a foot in front of our faces. Eventually, we might really hurt ourselves."

"Sounds fine to me," the woman replied with a sigh. "I do hate to give up the hunt, but it's all we can do. We'll resume first thing in the morning."

A silent figure followed them from a distance, his hand shadowing his eyes. He mentally kicked himself for not thinking of binoculars, but dwelling on it would do no good; he would have to make do with the elements and his wits. The trio he was following were going to do all his dirty work for him. He couldn't make out everything they were saying, but it didn't matter much; they were the key, and he would track them until he died of old age, if necessary. The lone wolf in dark robes permitted himself a quiet laugh.

"Thank you... thank you all."

Not far behind this, another figure crept through the underbrush. He was certainly no shinobi, but he was far enough away that those he was following did not detect his presence. His face bore a scowl that told of a wretched creature, one that held little value for life, save his own. Dark lenses hid his eyes from the world... or perhaps they were there to hide the world from his eyes? A loathsome being, regardless.

He, unlike the other, had come prepared with a plethora of labor-saving devices. Binoculars were hoisted to his sunglasses, and he periodically adjusted the focus until he could clearly see his prey.

"Ohhh, man," he chuckled to himself, "this is gonna be good."

-o-o-o-o-

Wendy's long lashes fluttered open, then squeezed shut again. "Mghrphlff... why's it so freaking bright in here?"

After a few moments, she realized where she was: the dinosaur village. It was morning. Since the sun had gone down just after they'd reached the hut, she hadn't taken much note of its two windows. Now it was obvious they were positioned to be able to view the sunrise and sunset, and the first few rays of dawn fell across their bed.

"Oh..." She opened her eyes again, and looked over at Mario, still snoring. The night had turned out warm, but they'd still ended up huddled together. Wendy started to pull away instinctively, but Mario held her back. "Mario-!"

"Espresso... grazzi..." he mumbled. Still conked out. Wendy settled back down.

"It feels nice to be held for once," she whispered to herself, and somewhat to the sleeping form enveloping her. She felt a little guilty for enjoying herself, like she was taking advantage of him, but not enough to make her stop or anything. What was the harm? Nobody was around to judge them, to look down on what they did.

What were they doing, exactly? She wondered... she had been wondering since he held out a hand to help her to her feet in the Pipe Maze. More accurately, when she wasn't busy denying it with all her might, she had been wondering from that day she had been disguised as Lady Fettuccine and the plumber had swooned over her... and for the first time in her young life, she had felt a man's eyes on her, one who was seeing more there than just a whiny, temperamental child. He was eying her like she was a desirable mate, and it churned up feelings she didn't know existed.

The hurt in his eyes when he saw the girl he'd gone gaga over was just a Koopa... even as she cackled gleefully, she saw it, clear as glass. His pain lodged itself in her subconscious, and every once in a while it resurfaced to taunt her without preamble, to remind her that she'd broken someone's heart just to pump a few gallons of oil into the Doomship.

That was the day she'd stopped being a disposable Koopaling and started to think for herself. Not all at once, not overnight... but that was the day she began to grow into something more. And it was because of an Italian piping technician.

Wendy lay awake for a long while, staring at his face. How old he looked. Not that she thought he was decrepit, or feeble, or any of those things. Just weary. The life he'd ended up with had beaten a lot of the youth clean out of his body. If the annoying plots for conquest from King Bowser didn't cease eventually, it wouldn't be so very long before his hair began to gray...

He deserved a rest. Maybe escaping to another world wasn't such a bad plan after all.

After a time, Mario's snoring ceased, giving way to a quiet, rhythmic breathing that easily soothed her back to sleep. All of her dreams were soft and gentle. Like his embrace.

-o-o-o-o-

The same unforgiving sun glinting through the trees awoke the young man in the robe. He was set up for the night in one of the strange trees that grew in this world, as the trio he was following had made camp and he was unable to do anything but wait until they departed. A quick glance told him that they had yet to awaken.

He took off his hood momentarily, revealing a mohawk of brilliantly-colored rainbow hair, primarily red and yellow. Not having the opportunity to wash in nearly a week, he was probably beginning to reek. All he could do at the moment was try to let some of the fresh air waft away the lingering odor. He replaced the hood, still wishing for a nice, hot shower. Alas, there is little luxury for the hunter.

That was about the time he noticed the movement from roughly a click or two away. A patrol. They were headed straight for the party he was tracking. The hunter's teeth clenched.

"_Kuso..."_

-o-o-o-o-

"This place sure is sweltering during the day," Luigi said, wringing sweat from his cap.

"Like it was much better at night," Peach replied.

"Like any of us can do anything about it," Toad squeaked, jumping over a bush. "I'd pay good money just to be taller right about now."

"Quiet, you two," the Princess snapped. She was glad she'd changed clothes before they left; even the most capable queen would have died of heatstroke in one of those regal-yet-stuffy gowns. Presently, she was wearing a khaki safari outfit; shorts and shirt with dozens of pockets apiece, mid-calf boots, pith helmet to keep the glare out of her eyes. Beyond even that, she envied Luigi and Toad's regular wardrobes, especially Toad's; a loincloth and a vest were the way to go.

"Geesh, Your Majesty. Moody much?"

"Allright, let's stop and pretend we remember how to breathe," she said, pausing to rest against a tree. "We... we need to think about where we're going."

Luigi took a long swig from a canteen. "Yeah, I know... we're just blindly searching for anything with the word 'clue' printed on it. I don't know what else we could do, though; it's not like I got Mario's bootprints memorized, or Kootie Pie's clawprints, for that matter."

"It's our best bet, Princess," Toad added in a resigned tone. "Keep going in a straight line 'til something interesting pops up."

She sighed heavily. "I guess it's all we can do." Then the weary travelers picked themselves up and resumed their quest, praying for a sign to show them the way.

And they didn't have to wait long. Less than an hour's trek later, they began to hear noises from ahead of them.

"It almost sounds like talking," Peach commented. "But it's just a bunch of gibberish."

They saw movement on the other side of a very large bush in front of them. Carefully, they crept to the edges of it and peered around the sides.

_"Whoa!"_

"Creepin' Cretaceous!" Luigi exclaimed, "it's a buncha dinosaurs!"

The sight greeting their eyes was that of the Yoshi Village in the distance, the closest hut perhaps thirty yards away. The small municipality was a bustling hive, each member out and working on one thing or the other, planting crops or harvesting fruit, constructing new huts or repairing ones damaged by the elements, herding precocious children. It was certainly a sight to see during business hours.

"Oh my," Peach breathed. "I can't believe they really exist..."

"Guys..." Toad started.

"There must be dozens!" Luigi's jaw hung open in awe as he craned his neck to find a better view. "Hundreds, even!"

"Guys..."

"Well," Peach said with a chuckle, "we wanted something interesting."

"GUYS!"

_"What is it, Toad?"_ they yelled, whipping around.

Toad was tied up by a pair of burly-looking dinos, flailing his feet and glaring at them in rebuke for not listening to him sooner. A third with a scar on his cheek stepped forward and answered their question with but one word.

_"YOSHI!"_

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: This chapter feels really long. It took me a couple of re-reads to realize it's because a lot of stuff happens in this one. Everybody ends up in Dinosaur World (AKA, Super Mario World), Mario and Wendy have shacked up (again) and Peach & Co are being tailed, and now captured by the Yoshis. Fun! Still working on making this the best darn fiction I've ever written.


	5. Uneasy Alliance

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 5: Uneasy Alliance

Mario sneezed.

He wasn't sure why he sneezed, or what had caused him to, but it woke him up. 'Where am I?' he thought to himself. First, he could swear he was in a grungy apartment in Brooklyn, and that if he didn't check the messages on the machine for work he and Luigi would never be able to pay their rent on time. They were already on the landlord's bad side to begin with, and one more-

But no. That was years ago. Another lifetime ago. Now he was the paladin of the Mushroom Kingdom. Even that was coming to be a thing of the past, as he had run off to protect...

He started to get up, but felt something holding him down. Struggling accomplished nothing; it wouldn't relent. What was up with that? After a moment, he laid back to compose his thoughts.

'I'm... I'm in a hut in the Yoshi Village. Wendy...'

Swallowing, he looked over to see that it was she who had been keeping him from rising; scaly arms were clutching him tightly enough that he couldn't get up, but not tight enough to crush his bones or anything. Just a very clingy hug.

'Aww,' he thought, smiling. 'She's adorable when she's sleeping.'

Mario caught himself in a half-truth; he knew he thought she was adorable all the time. Still, the oppressive weight of the world couldn't touch her when she was in dreamland, giving her that air of innocence that seemed to add to everyone's natural beauty.

He started to shake her awake, then stopped himself. Such precious instances shouldn't be disturbed. With a hesitant hand, he stroked her soft cheek, causing her to smile from beyond the curtain of slumber. Cooing contentedly, she snuggled closer to him.

Again, that scent filled him up, buzzing around inside his brain. Far more than ever in the past, he was now convinced it was Wendy's natural pheromones, because she obviously didn't have any perfume with her on this half-cocked flight into the unknown. Natural or not, it came very close to... intoxicating.

'This is a little bizarre,' he had to admit to himself as his heart beat faster. 'We shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed, lizard or monkey or whatever we might be. She's a _girl, _and one who's supposed to be my friend. It's inappropriate. We gotta get up!'

But the instant his hand rested on her shoulder, another tiny sigh issued from her throat and her unconscious lips mumbled, "Don' go..."

Peace. The fleeting peace of dreamland. 'Ahh, let her sleep a while longer.' Mario slid out from under her gently, and she curled her arms around one of their parkas in his absence.

'I slept with a reptile,' he thought to himself bemusedly as he pulled his boots back on. 'Sure, not in _that_ way, but...' Just thinking about 'that way' made his cheeks fill with redness. Enough was enough, dangit! Cursing his overactive imagination, he took one last glance at Wendy before snatching up his cap and exiting into the village.

It was a beautiful, if terribly humid, day. The Yoshis seemed to be out in full force; they were evidently used to such weather. The tropical environment made it hard to endure, but Mario had endured far worse over the years. Perhaps if he and Wendy eventually moved further north, they would find a more temperate climate.

Was that his plan? To stay with the Koopa girl, make a life with her? It was the road he was barreling down at full speed. They would build their own little ramshackle abode in a grassy meadow, and plant fields of everything from corn to strawberries. All day they'd work themselves to the bone, then fix supper together, eat... relax in front of the fire during the winter, sipping hot tea and remembering stories from their younger days...

As his mischievous imagination reached the point where they went to bed together, he cut it off. Didn't he say he'd had enough of that? And where their future was concerned, it was no use counting his Birdos before they hatched. Maybe it would happen that way, and maybe it wouldn't. Only time would tell, and it wouldn't be telling it very soon.

Meanwhile, he planned to earn his keep; he wanted to ask the Great Yoshi if there was anything they could do to help out, since they were getting a place to stay and all. It was only fair.

Suddenly, there came a commotion from the other side of town. A chorus of seemingly-meaningless "Yoshi!"s went up. Mario's head turned in that direction, and eventually the rest of him followed.

When he got there, he tried to keep his head above the crowd, but to no avail. Something was moving along toward the Great Yoshi's 'throne hut', as far as he could tell. Finally, he spotted the green Yoshi that had helped them out the day before and waved him down.

"Yo, what's all this ruckus?"

"Outsider," the creature told him bluntly, gesturing with a stumpy arm. "Guards catch them spying on Yoshis. Big much trouble for them."

"I see," he said, although his curiosity wasn't really satisfied. "So do you guys have a trial or what?" he asked, still trying to see over the crowd.

"Great Yoshi says what happen to outsider."

'Duh, Mario,' he reproached himself. 'That's exactly what Wendy and I went through yesterday.' Mario looked up again. "Could I maybe, uh, watch?"

The Yoshi looked around, then pulled him to the side of the building. "Shh," he hissed, pointing to a hole halfway up the wall. "You get caught, you in big much trouble, too."

"I guess people aren't supposed to spy on court proceedings." The plumber tried to stretch up high enough to see through it, but no such luck. "A little help here?"

The green dino bit his lip anxiously, looked around, then tromped under the hole. "Up, on my back."

Mario cautiously climbed onto the Yoshi's back, wobbled dangerously for a second or two, then steadied himself before peering through the hole.

"Rotten rigatoni!" he grunted, barely remembering to be quiet. "It's them!"

"Who?"

"The Princess and my friends!" He slapped his free hand over his face. "Why the hell did I tell Luigi where I was headed? That blabbermouth never could keep a secret. Wait a minute..." He squinted into the hole again. "Who's that with them?"

"Hey!" the dino said in a harsh whisper. "Guards coming!"

Mario immediately slipped down onto Yoshi's back. "Get us outta here!"

"Yoshi!" he said in his native tongue, then took off at an amazing speed. Mario blinked, and he wasn't even in the village anymore.

"Whoa, you can really book!" the plumber shouted, earning him a weird sort of dinosaur chuckle.

"All Yoshi very fast, but Yoshi is the fastest of all."

"You mean you're the fastest of all the Yoshis? What _can't_ you do?"

_"SHI!"_

The green lizard screeched to a halt mere feet from a raging river, catapulting the pasta man into its waters. It was a frightening moment for him as he floundered, nearly lost his footing in the soft earth under the water, then found his balance.

"What the hell was _that_ for?" he demanded, splashing toward the shore.

The dino scratched his neck, laughing nervously. "That the thing we not so good with doing. Yoshi can't swim."

Mario coughed up some water as he crawled onto land. "It figures."

-o-o-o-o-

"Why have you come to spy on our village?"

Their mouths dropped open. "It _talks!"_ Toad shouted. Luigi and Peach could only stare.

"Yes, I speak your tongue," the elderly Yoshi said dismissively, "but that is of no importance. Why have you been spying on us?"

"Look, sir," Luigi spoke up, "_we_ – the three of us – were just looking for my brother. We've got no clue what _that guy _wants."

He was indicating the stranger standing nearby, still bound by two Yoshi tongues. The cloaked mystery guest was nearly the same height as Luigi; other than that, they knew nothing about him. Even now he did not speak up on his own behalf. Was any of this going to make any sense?

"Yoshi yosh-yosh _yoshiiiii_, yo," one of the guards said.

"Not a word?" The Great Yoshi stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Strange indeed."

As they continued talking in their odd language, Toad leaned over to the Princess. "That gobbledygook actually _means_ something?" he muttered.

"Hush, Toad," she replied in a harsh whisper. "We're already in deep enough sludge as it is. We don't know anything about these... people, and insulting their primary language won't help matters."

"Tall one," the Great Yoshi said, pulling away from his conversation with the guard.

Luigi looked around. "Me?"

"You bear a strange resemblance to the other that came to us. Tell me, are you from the same tribe?"

The plumber's brow furrowed for a moment, then his eyes went wide in realization. "Mario? He's here? Then maybe we're not so lost!"

"Please," the Princess immediately begged, "where is he? Can you take us to him?"

"Ah, so you _do_ know of Furry-Faced One," the elder said.

"He ain't furry; he's my brother!" Luigi took a few steps toward the weathered dinosaur.

_"Yoshi!_"

Two guards immediately whipped their tongues around him and yanked him to the ground. It was a tense moment as Peach and Toad took a tentative step to help him, but held up short when they saw they would likely meet the same fate.

"Please," Luigi strained to utter after regaining composure, face turning as purple as the Yoshi he was addressing, "let us go! We just gotta find him!"

"You do? Why, I wonder? Your brother is not eager to be found. From the tale I have been told, it seems your clan and that of his mate are not at peace with each other. His aura is troubled from all of this; he feels threatened."

"That's why I'm here," the stranger finally spoke up. Everyone turned to face him. "You must listen, for we haven't a great deal of time."

"And just who are you, anyway?" the Princess asked, having endured more than enough posturing for one morning. "Why do you care?"

The young man finally lowered his hood, revealing the mop of prismatic hair they knew all too well.

_"LEMMY!"_ the three Mushroom Kingdom residents chorused.

"I care because he has my sister, and she is in danger as we speak... perhaps even for her life."

-o-o-o-o-

Wendy awoke again, and this time something was different. It only took her a few moments to realize what it was: her bed contained one fewer occupant than it had before.

"Mario?" She sat up, looking around the tiny hut. His shoes and cap were missing. Where could he have run off to? After brushing a hand nervously over the spot where he'd lain the last time she saw him, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stood, walking over to the chest.

"The coin pouch is still here... he probably didn't ditch me." Unfortunately for her doubts, 'probably' wasn't the same as 'certainly'. She considered the ugly possibility that he had left her some small amount of cash to start her new life and then skipped back off to the Mushroom Kingdom, but it didn't seem like him to disappear without saying goodbye.

Not after everything they'd been through together. Not him.

A knock. Wendy ran to the door and opened it.

"Hel-MGLPH!" Claws scrabbled at the hands wrapped around her mouth. Then she peered upward, and her azure eyes went wide in horror.

One second later, the hut was empty.

-o-o-o-o-

"Nice rags," Toad commented. "Just like the ones your skeevy sister showed up on our doorstep wearing. What, do you Koopas buy threadbare cloaks wholesale?"

"Toad, enough." Peach glared in Lemmy's direction. "Fine. You most certainly have our undivided attention. Why should we believe a word you say?"

"Believe me, I think Wendy's making a colossal mistake trusting _fungus,_" he said, spitting the last word out as if it were a curdled milk. "That's beside the point. She's my big sister, and it's my responsibility as a sibling to look after her well-being."

"I didn't think the Koopas put any stock in family values," Luigi put in.

Lemmy's eyes went dark. "I love my sister. She's pretty much the only one in my entire ridiculous family that acts like an actual person. So shut up, plumber boy."

"Tough words from a slimy, teenaged punker-wannabe," Luigi said through gritted teeth.

The Koopa growled, then lunged. _"This is my natural hair color, you faucet freak!"_ The Yoshis' tongues kept him from planting his fist in the taller Mario's face, but only just.

_"Bring it on, lizard lips!"_

_"ENOUGH, CHILDREN!"_ the Princess admonished. Both of them shrank back from her shrill outburst – and Lemmy, for his part, looked at her with something akin to awe. Maybe he hadn't been expecting a demure lady like Peach to have such lung capacity.

"I agree," the Great Yoshi said. "I have seen quite enough. The Furry-Faced One was wise in escaping this boiling cauldron of poisoned blood."

The Princess tried to plead with him. "Sir, that's not all there is to-"

"Silence!" he half-shouted. "It is my decision that the mated couple will remain here as long as they like, and there will be no interference by either of your tribes. Do you understand?"

The three from the Mushroom Kingdom nodded. Their position was pretty bleak. But when they noticed Lemmy did not share in the action, all eyes went to him.

"I cannot promise that," he said, hanging his head.

The elderly purple dino stood with some effort. "Must we imprison you, then?"

"It's not me you have to worry about."

"Lemmy," the Princess asked, a sinking feeling already attacking her guts, "what do you mean, it's not _you?_ If not you, then who?"

He took a deep breath before he continued. "My so-called father isn't exactly the kind of reptile to let one of his subjects escape his dominion – much less his only daughter. You've all had enough experience with his tyranny to know I speak the truth. He wants her back in his clutches."

"So he sent you to retrieve her?" Toad accused.

"No. I came to head them off, if I could. I don't know who he sent, but you can be sure whoever it is will be fully behind the mission." Then he looked up, his eyes slightly damp. "Please. Even if you do lock me up, Wendy needs to be warned. The longer we stand around screaming at each other over this, the higher the chance that we'll be too late. And that... that, I could not bear."

-o-o-o-o-

Yoshi trotted back into the village carrying Mario on his back. The plumber was munching on one of the oversized apples.

"A little too sweet, but I was starving," he said, wiping the juice from his hands onto his overalls. "I probably should have gotten some for Wendy; she'll be hungry, too."

"More Yoshi Tree in middle of village," the green one piped in.

"You call the fruit 'yoshi', too?" He shook his head, then sighed. "I suppose I should just try to explain to Great Yoshi about my brother and friends. I mean, he'll listen, right?"

"Great Yoshi very wise. He understand."

"It still worries me about that weird guy." He stroked his mustache absentmindedly. "Did they hire a jungle guide or something? It just doesn't-"

_"Mario!"_

He barely had time to shout "WH-" before Peach plowed into him, grabbing him by the overall straps. "What's the meaning of you running off like that? You had half the kingdom worried sick!"

After Mario got over the surprise, he laughed. He could tell by the dampness in her eyes that when she said "half the kingdom" she really meant herself. "Nice to see you, too, Princess." He hopped down and gave her a quick hug, then turned to where the others were standing. "Hey, _paesanos!_"

"Have a good trip?" Toad quipped. Nearly a dozen Yoshis were flanking his three friends.

"Ahh, missed a connecting flight and got stuck in traffic, but what are ya gonna do?"

Luigi laughed, then hugged his fellow plumber. "You're an idiot, Brother Mio."

"And you're a rat," he replied, punching him in the arm. Then, he noticed Lemmy standing there silently, glaring in his direction. 'So,' he thought, 'this is who they've been hanging out with. What possible reason could they have for that?'

"Where's my sister?" the Koopa asked, bluntly to the point.

Mario's eyes narrowed. Five seconds in and the Koopa was starting trouble. It was less than endearing. "She's safe from you."

"Oh yes, she's safe from _me._" Lemmy walked toward him. "Where's Wendy?"

"Give me one good reason to trust you, Rainbow Brain."

"I'll give you one!" From nowhere and without warning, the Koopa drew a wooden sword and pointed it at Mario's neck. "Take me to my sister before I decide I don't need your help, Roly-Poly Romeo!"

Four of the Yoshis whipped their tongues out toward him, including Mario's companion. Lemmy ducked deftly, sweeping the nearest of the dinosaurs and sending him to the ground. He sprang for Mario again.

_"SINDE SHIMAE, BAKA!"_

Mario blocked the strike with one arm, grabbing the sword at the same time and trying to wrench it from Lemmy's hands. The Koopa didn't give up his weapon so easily, however, and they began struggling over it.

"You stole my only sister from us!"

"You drove her away!"

Mario kicked blindly, and connected with Lemmy's thigh. The Koopa went down, but didn't lose his grip on the sword. "She was all I had in that miserable excuse for a family!"

"I guess you shoulda thought of that before you treated her like week-old manicotti! Tell me, do you get off on torturing your sister, then pretending to come to her rescue?"

Lemmy's face took on a look of exasperation. The sword easily gave from his hands, and Mario stood looking at it for a moment, blinking. Why couldn't every fight he got in end so easily? Lemmy recovered and lunged, but he wasn't the only one to find his bearings, and Mario tossed the sword toward a random Yoshi, whom devoured it.

_"My bokken!"_ A growl sounded deep in the reptile's throat. "You slander my name, then you destroy my prized sword? _Bastard!"_ He flung himself wildly at Mario, clawing.

"Aiee!" Mario ducked from the deadly points, grabbing the Koopa boy by his lapels and tossing him over his back and onto his head, causing the thrown to groan loudly. After taking a few sharp breaths, Mario stood shakily, dusting himself off.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that, kid? If I hadn't acted as quickly, those talons of yours could have killed me." The youngster was still trying to regain his senses. "So then, Lemmy... gimme one good reason why I shouldn't kick the living crap outta you right now."

"I... I can't h-have failed..." he said, trying to stabilize himself. "I, I should have rolled, it- it-"

Mario grabbed him by the collar. "Do you hear the words coming out from under my mustache?"

"I HAVE TO FIND MY SISTER!" Lemmy shouted. "Sh-she... she's in trouble!"

"Wait!" Peach bade, rushing over to them. "I don't know if he's telling the truth or not, but he deserves a chance to explain himself at the very least." She tried to look the plumber in the eye. "Everybody deserves a chance, right, Mario?"

Ten seconds ticked by in strained silence. Then he sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He let go of the Koopa Kid's lapels. "Go ahead, explain."

The reptile blinked, then cleared his throat, deciding not to waste any time being surprised by the grace Peach showed him. "As I've already told your cohorts, my father does not take desertion lightly. Wendy is in imminent danger of being captured by any one of his mercenaries. I came on my own to find and warn her." He glanced up at the plumber, then looked away. "I obviously didn't need to. She seems to be safe in your capable, albeit _human_, hands."

"Damn straight," Mario muttered, crossing his arms over his chest in a blatant display of bravado. "I'd never let anything happen to her."

"Then where is she now?"

"C'mon," he said, moving away from Lemmy. "Our hut's not far."

_"Our _hut," Toad parroted, dripping with innuendo. Mario blanched.

"Shut up."

The Yoshi that had eaten Lemmy's _bokken_ spoke with the scar-cheeked guard (who appeared to be the captain), then walked over to the reptilian teenager. Lemmy's eyebrow went up. "Yes?"

The dino spat the sword out, completely intact, save the coating of saliva. "Shii yosh _yoshi_ yoshiii yo."

"He say 'wooden stick no taste good'," Mario's companion translated.

Lemmy hesitated, then picked it up. "Uh... thank you." The Yoshi smiled, then rejoined the ranks as they began walking toward the center of the village.

"So," Lemmy said in a lower tone, keeping pace with Mario as he tried to wipe his sword clean of dinosaur mucus. "This isn't some bizarre Mushroom Kingdom game you're playing, is it? You truly care for my sister."

"Of course. She came to me for help, and I'm helping. It's what I do." A wistful smile stole across his face. "I don't think I could have turned her down if I tried."

"But are you her... consort?"

Mario looked over at him. "The heck you talkin' about?"

"Wendy did not bring her shell along on this journey. Koopas become 'Beach Koopas' for many reasons." He let out an uncomfortable cough before going on. "The one at the top of the list is that they're... in heat."

The plumber nearly fell over. "Hold up, you think I... that she and- that we-"

"Of course, there are other reasons for leaving the shell behind, as I said," he continued quickly. "Rebellion against the clan, for example. Lots of reasons."

Mario laughed nervously, wringing his cap in his hands. "Uh, she told me she left it behind because it was heavy, un-stealthy... a hassle."

Lemmy smirked. "Sounds like her, allright."

Mario took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Sheesh, give a guy a heart attack..."

As they reached the hut, Luigi stopped in his tracks. "Guys... something doesn't feel right here."

Mario's guard-Yoshi sniffed the ground, then the air. "A scent. New, like Wendy and him-" indicating Lemmy with a nod, "-but not same."

The Koopa boy and the red-hatted plumber immediately ran toward the door. Lemmy got there first, kicking it open.

_"Wendy?"_ they both shouted as the door swung inward. Lemmy stooped down as Mario walked quickly to the middle of the hut. After a quick glance around, he flung open the chest.

"My coin pouch is still here," he observed. "So is Wendy's necklace."

"Mario," Lemmy said quietly, "this should erase any suspicion of cat-burglars."

He turned to see the Koopa was holding a small scrap of paper, staring at it as if trying to ignite it with his glower. Mario took it from him and stared at it intently.

"Well?" the Princess asked from the doorway, brow furrowing. "What does it say?"

Mario handed it over, then addressed the others. "It says 'Thanks, Lemmy'." They all turned to the young Koopa boy, who was still shaking with rage.

"It appears I was followed. _DAMN!"_ Fangs bared, he hurled his fist through the hut wall, leaving a disfiguring hole.

"We have to track them down before they get her back to Koopa," Mario said, pacing as Lemmy carefully extracted his hand to avoid slicing it to ribbons. "Otherwise there's not a whole lot we can do from that point, short of an all-out war." He stopped and turned sharply toward the doorway. "Yoshi, can you track those scents?"

"Shi!" The dino stood at attention, swerving to face his captain. "Yosh-yoshi shii yo shi!"

"Shii yoshi yoSHI," replied the captain. "YOSHI!" Two other Yoshis, a blue and a red one, moved to flank Mario's green friend.

"These two help carry," he explained. "You four have to share."

Luigi, Toad, Lemmy and Peach all looked at each other uneasily.

"C'mon, let's get a move on!" Mario walked over to Yoshi and stood next to him. "Or am I gonna have to get some straws for you to draw from that mattress over there?"

"Oh, for pity's sake," Peach grumbled. "I suppose a monarch must step in. Very well; I volunteer to ride with Lemmy, and to save time, I pick... the red one. Acceptable?"

Luigi and Toad shrugged and mounted the blue one. Lemmy looked at the Princess uneasily. After a few seconds off this, she asked, "What? What is it _now?"_

"You'll want to sit in front. My shell-spikes would impale you if you sat behind me. I apologize if that seems rather-"

"Listen, it's fine," she said with great dignity, hopping onto the red dino. "Just so long as we hurry things along."

Lemmy jumped on after her, slipping his hands around her waist. Everybody noticed Peach cringe and Lemmy shiver, but there was no time to analyze any of it or worry about comfort levels.

"Everybody ready?" Mario asked, already aboard his Yoshi. His friends nodded affirmatively. "Good."

"I have to go to the bathroom," Toad whispered.

"Too bad!" Mario kicked his heels gently into Yoshi's side."Let's go save Wendy!"

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: While I'm thinking about it, I feel it's important to note that I did some shuffling around with the ages of some of the Koopalings. I'm pretty sure that in the SMB3 game, you fight them in order from youngest to oldest, which makes Larry the youngest and Wendy the middle child. The cartoon, however, bounced them all over the place, making Iggy and Lemmy twins (?) and the two youngest, and I think Wendy was the next oldest. I kept that basic order, but split Iggy and Lemmy into separate beings and made Iggy the youngest. Don't ask me why, but I thought it would be stupidly fun to take Lemmy, a character who canonically spends all his time rolling around on a ball, into a semi-serious character. In the fiction I never address the ages of the older brothers, but they're all older and meaner so it doesn't really mater which one has been meaner longer, does it?


	6. Prelude to a Scuffle

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 6: Prelude to a Scuffle

"Ooh..."

Wendy O. Koopa's head was pounding. Where was she? What happened? Questions echoed through her mind, careening off the banks of dense fog still lingering between the tender plates of her skull. In the current moment, all she knew for certain is that whatever had just happened wasn't something she'd be happy about remembering.

She coughed and rolled over. Wherever she was, it was very dark; black as pitch. She drew in ragged breaths as she tried to make out anything. The air was slightly dank. The floor under her felt hard, like stone.

"Hel-" She coughed again, trying to kick-start her voice. "Hello?" No answer except for her own echoes. She appeared to be alone for the time being.

Despite the steadily-increasing pounding inside her head, the girl tried to rise to a sitting position, and it was only then she realized she was imprisoned. Shackles bound her, heavy chains between them, pinning her arms behind her back and her ankles together. A metallic collar fit snugly around her neck, but loose enough to allow easy breathing.

"Oh, oh no..." She would have put a hand to her forehead if she could. In a flash, it came back to her; _he_ showed up, grabbed her. There had been a brief and pathetic struggle. She remembered a handkerchief.

"Chloroform," she whispered. "Dammit, I never had a chance."

Wendy squinted to fight off the ache behind her temples, and she tried once again to make out her surroundings. From what she could tell once her eyes had finished adjusting, it was a cave. She saw nothing of value or usefulness... it seemed barren, save herself. In the limited light, she could discern no exit. Plagued with immobility, she began inching in one direction.

_"GLLK!"_

She'd only slithered a few feet when the collar began to choke her. It was likely that she was chained to the wall or something. That was one option shot to hell. She crawled backwards for a moment before turning around to examine, but the answer was nothing special; her chains were wrapped tightly around a large boulder. She presumed there was a lock on it somewhere, but it wouldn't do her any good without a key.

"Great..." Relenting for the time being, she rolled over and stared at what she could make out of the ceiling. A few stalactites were low enough to be visible in the darkness. She idly wondered what would be done with her. Moisture began to form at the corner of her eye, but she fought it; crying would do no good. She did not want to admit defeat. An opportunity would present itself, if not sooner then later. All she needed to do was be ready when it did.

Despite her will to survive, she couldn't stop that single teardrop from falling.

"Mario... help me..."

-o-o-o-o-

The plumber with the red cap stretched his arms, first one and then the other. The Yoshis had grown tired after a few miles and slowed to a trot, and were now moving at a brisk walk. Evidently, Wendy's captor had quite the jump on them.

"Are we heroes yet?" Toad whined.

_"Shush!"_ Peach snapped while Mario chuckled. Toad could be such a dork.

The Yoshi he was atop slowed down for a moment, sniffing the ground. "They go this way," he said, turning right down one of three paths. The others weren't far behind.

Peach coughed, then craned her neck around. "So tell us, Lemmy... why aren't you on your father's side in this?"

"Like I said, I care about my sister," he stated flatly. When she only raised expectant eyebrows, an impatient sigh escaped his lungs. "I know my father's ambitions for recapturing her are less than kind. He'll probably throw her in the dungeon as soon as she's in the Keep, at the very least. That's not going to solve anything. I know it, you know it... but the only way to stop it from coming to pass is to _stop it. _ There will be no reasoning with the man after the fact._"_

"But you _both_ wrecked and rampaged with the rest of 'em," Luigi put in. "And now you expect us to believe that you just wanna be buddies? That you support her renouncement of your whole freaky family tree?"

His hollow smirk spoke volumes. "It was either indulge in the crime sprees, or be grounded for a week. King Dad is a slave-driving old bastard."

The Princess tapped her chin. "Hmm... sounds as if-" Just then, her Yoshi tripped a bit over some uneven turf, and she began to tumble over its head. "AH!"

"Oop!" Lemmy caught her by the hips, steadying her on the lizard's back.

"Thank you, sir," she gasped out with one hand on his for support and the other clutching at her pounding heart. "That could have been disastrous!"

"Never you mind. Chivalry wouldn't let me do otherwise."

"Thank you just the same," she repeated with a faint smile. With a healthy dose of uncertainty, Lemmy responded in kind. When she glanced down at his hands and cleared her throat, full of politeness but also carrying a hint of consternation, he jerked them away as if she'd turned into a Porcu-Puffer and stung him.

The band of would-be rescuers rode in silence for several minutes before they came to a bridge. "Uh-oh," Yoshi breathed.

"What?" Mario asked, blotting his forehead with a handkerchief. "What is it?"

"Wendy not on Yoshi Island."

Mario looked around. "Fine, so what?"

"Yoshis... never leave Yoshi Island. Know nothing about the other place." All three Yoshis shivered. "Scaaaaaaary."

"This just makes it more exciting," Toad said, brightening. "We'll be _explorers_, like those guys Lewis and Martin you're always talkin' about."

"Lewis and _Clark,_" Luigi corrected. "Lewis and Martin were... ahh, screw it, there ain't much point in trying to explain. Maybe someday I'll bring you back a copy of Artists and Models from Earth so you can see for yourself. Cinematic gold, that one..."

"Whatever. I say we go for it."

"So do I," Mario said quietly. "I have to." With a sudden start, he turned to the rest of them. "Y'know, you guys don't have to do this. It's my business, so there's no reason for anybody else to-"

"Correction," Lemmy spoke up.

"Yeah, yeah, your sister, we get it. I meant everybody _else_."

"Fuggedaboudit," Luigi said with a slow shrug. "Hell, we're half the reason she's in this pickle to begin with, so the least we can do is come along for the ride. Besides, you really think I got anything better to do here in Jurassic Park?"

"Yoshis will do what Yoshis can," the green one said in a shaky voice. "B-because Furry-Faced One's mate in trouble. But if Yoshis not f-find way back to Yoshi Island, you be very sorry!"

The Princess breathed an exhausted sigh, then took a deep, steadying breath as she squared her shoulders. "It's decided, then. We're off!"

-o-o-o-o-

The young Koopa girl had cried herself back to sleep, more for lack of anything else to do than because she was distraught. Presently, she awakened again, with no more joy in her being than there had been before. She could feel her mind fraying around the corners without any external stimulus. Trapped alone with nothing but her thoughts, slowly losing her grip on reality... guilt from her past wrongdoing under Father's watchful glare, shame at how those prejudiced fungus treated her, worrying about where Mario had gone. Why hadn't he come for her yet? Something had to be seriously wrong, and she couldn't do anything to help him trapped in a stupid cave.

"Hello?" she called again. Still no answer – but after a few moments, she heard footsteps. Had he come at last? She called out again, and this time she got a response.

"Hiya, Sis."

Her eyes went dark as the cavern imprisoning her. _"You."_

"Yeah, me. Ain't ya glad to see your big bro?"

"Maybe if I could _see_ you... no, I probably still wouldn't be."

Harsh laughter reigned for a moment before even harsher words followed. "King Dad wants words wit' ya. Says yer turnin' your back on the family."

"I haven't got a father," she spat. "And I don't have any dumbass brother named Roy, either."

Roy Koopa chuckled again. "Whatever you say, Sis, but either way I still gotta drag your stinkin' tail home, you stinkin' traitor."

"Weren't you paying attention? I can't betray a family I don't have, you jerk."

"Ooh, feisty," he mocked. "I like 'em wit' a little spice. Good t'ing you're not my sister... right?"

Her eyes flew open. "I swear to God, Roy-"

Another helping of laughter cut off the rest of her sentence. "Get some rest, bitch. We're outta here early – first light."

She tried to keep her voice level, devoid of fear. "Why not right now, you sicko? Don't tell me you really do want some 'alone time'. That you're so hard up you gotta chain your own sister to a rock. That's revolting, even for you."

"This is my vacation," he spat – literally spitting as he spoke. Wendy had never wanted a shower less than that one. "After I put you on 'layaway', I toured the local greenery. Too bad it was so boring. If ol' Pops asks what took me so long, I figure I'll just say I couldn't find ya." He grinned. "It was a piece o' cake, though, sis. The other worm led me straight to ya."

Her brow knitted. "What other 'worm'?"

"Your 'un-bro' Lemmy, duh. He's as big a rat as you; always has been. Figured all I'd need ta do was hang around and track 'im and I'd find our lost little lamb."

'He came to warn me,' she thought, smiling as she spoke. "He's got guts, Roy. More guts than a useless sack of Goomba shit like you could ever dream of having."

She heard a few quick footsteps before the side of her head exploded with hot pain.

_"Shut UP,_ you slimy little ho!" He was panting hard, the source of his putrid breath two inches from her face. "You gots no right to bag on me when yer the one what ran off wit' that... that _human!"_

Wendy bit her lip to fight back the tears, trying to be strong despite the white-hot agony from the slap and accompanying pound behind her temples. "Why don't you just go choke on your own tongue and die?" she uttered, her voice shaky despite her efforts.

"'Cause I gotta bring you back to King Dad. Then I'll be done wit' ya, and good riddance it'll be!" He began to walk off.

_"BITE ME!"_ she screamed after him.

The only response was that horrible sound of his laughter. Now she was alone again; alone to let her tears flow quietly. Wendy swore an oath to herself right then and there; she would see to it that Roy Koopa got what he deserved, even if she had to do it with her own bare claws.

-o-o-o-o-

Princess Peach Toadstool sighed. Somehow, after such an exhausting day, she couldn't sleep. They'd searched until after sunset, which was also the point at which the Yoshis came to a creek... and lost the trail. They had then decided to camp for the night, opting for an early start in the morning.

And she couldn't sleep.

Frustrated with her inability to put her mind in a state of rest, she occupied it by considering the others around the dwindling campfire. Toad was using his huge cap as a pillow. So were Luigi and Mario, with less than satisfying results. Mario was tossing and turning; no doubt worried sick that stopping was the wrong course of action since he had such a vested interest in the outcome of their mission. The Yoshis were curled up closeby, dead to the world.

Where was Lemmy?

Peach strained her eyes in the dwindling firelight. He wasn't in the camp. Had he snuck off to the spot where he'd hidden Wendy? Yes, she still suspected him. Perhaps the others had forgotten they could under no circumstances trust any of the Koopas, but Peach was determined to maintain her vigilance. Somebody had to. She put her hiking boots back on and began to look for him nearby.

As she was examining some of the exotic flora, she heard movement in the creek. Maybe over there? A clump of shrubbery was blocking her view. She crept to the bushes and moved a few leaves aside quietly, trying for stealth; it could be a carnivorous predator, or-

To her surprise and embarrassment, there was Lemmy, naked as a jaybird, bathing in the waters. What was the meaning of this? At second glance, she was relieved that the water came well above his waist. The Princess stifled a very childish giggle, then turned to go back to her bedroll.

"Don't you wish to stay for the entire show?"

Peach froze. No way had he heard her. There was no possible _way._ But a moment later, he called out, "Your near silence is commendable, Princess, but that shiny crown catches the moonlight. You might as well be wearing a neon sign on your head."

"Oops! Discovered..." She made her way around the bush and sat gingerly on the bank. "Your senses are very keen."

"Join me, if you like," he said, the moonlight playing over his whimsical smile. "I assure you that I'm a perfect gentleman."

"Uhh, that's okay!" Her face was as red as the high heels she normally wore, and she hoped he couldn't tell that during the night. That was all she needed.

"Suit yourself."

After several moments of watching Lemmy enjoying the cool midnight waters, she reconsidered somewhat. The Koopa gave her a quizzical look when he turned to see her boots and one sock off.

"Don't get your hopes up, kid," she warned as she removed the other stocking. "I just... wanted to cool off a little. The nights here aren't much better than the days. But I won't be splashing around wearing nothing but my birthday suit in front of strange men. I'm not that kind of princess!"

"Do tell." As she dipped her feet into the creek, Lemmy began in a soft voice, "You know, in ancient Japan – that's a region in Earth Land – it was normal to take communal baths. In these _sento_, these public bath houses, men, women and children would all wash together. It wasn't considered immodest in any way whatsoever. In fact, it was a kind of social activity; people talked, people laughed and swapped tales of their days."

"A clothing-optional version of high tea, eh?" she sighed while trying to pick up a rock from the creekbed with her toes. "Well, I've always enjoyed my privacy while bathing, thank you very much. Sounds like you'd fit in perfectly, though."

"I've read a lot about Earth Land," he said thoughtfully, splashing water onto his back. "It fascinates me... their culture is so rich, so diverse. Not like the Mushroom Kingdom; just the mushrooms, who enjoy a very bland, homogenized lifestyle. Or my family, who live like neanderthals."

"Hmm..."

"I'd like to visit there someday. It's all I want, to experience more; even being here in this primitive landscape is at least something from outside my 'bubble'. But to see Earth Land..."

"Well, I certainly hope you find your way there." They both fell silent for a few moments, then a question came to mind. "So Wendy's your older sister, right?"

"Yeah. She's eighteen, or nearly so, but it'll be a few seasons before I reach the same age."

Princess Toadstool blinked. "You're that close?"

"Closer than that; we share the same birthmother. Iggy is our only other full-blooded sibling."

"I see... so Bowser hasn't had much luck hanging onto a bride."

Lemmy laughed bitterly. "With our mother, he never even married."

"Oh." She fell silent again for a moment, unsure of what reaction she should have to this. Within her own culture, a king bearing children with a woman other than his wife was tantamount to sacrilege, but that may not be the case with Koopas. Her diplomatic training demanded she be careful not to offend if possible. "Where... is she now?"

"I don't know," he whispered, sighing deeply. "After things didn't work out between them, he banished her to some unknown place. He'd never tell us where. I just... I really wish I could've known her. She was gone when I was scarcely three, so all I've heard about her is from the skewed viewpoint of her jaded ex-boyfriend and my boorish brothers. Obviously, given their dispositions, she was the source of all the good in my sister and I. Iggy, as well... I hope."

The Princess drew her knees up under her chin. "I know how you feel, Lemmy. My parents were taken from us those many years ago... by our favorite slimy dictator himself. I wouldn't be at all surprised if our mothers and my father are all squirreled away in the same place."

She could feel his eyes on her, almost taste him really concentrating as if she were an important matter he'd been neglecting for far too long and the time had run out for him to procrastinate. Then he looked away. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry for my father's actions."

"No," she told him with a shake of her head. "He's the only one to blame. Him... and myself."

"I, uh, don't follow. How do you mean, Princess?"

Peach sighed before continuing slowly. "It... was the day Bowser first chose to strike. He'd seen me, a mere fourteen years old at the time, and I suppose I'd caught his eye. Not that I'll ever understand any of that. Displaying his acute flare for romance, he simply took what he wanted. I happened to be in the throne room at that moment, so he captured all three of us. Within minutes, we were separated. He made advances on me, tried to force-feed his love. To be blunt, I wanted nothing to do with him. So he locked me in a room in his castle, hoping isolation would change my mind... break my will." The young monarch fell silent.

"And then?" Lemmy prodded after a few moments.

She shrugged. "You know the rest. The Mario Brothers arrived in our world, eventually learned of my plight, thwarted Bowser Koopa, and set me and several of my retainers free." She coughed to cure her wavering voice. "There was no trace of my mother and father anywhere in his fortress. Gone, like vapor. Nobody has an idea where they..."

There stretched a long silence, Peach reflecting on the ugly events of her youth while Lemmy finished up in the water. At last, he leaned on the bank and asked, "What was it like? Having a mother, I mean."

"Queen Apricia... Mom..." Peach smiled a bittersweet smile. "She was a beautiful, gentle woman who always wore her hair up, I remember that. Warm, sensitive... but strict. I hardly got away with anything under her watchful glare. But I never cared, because I always felt her love, even when she was scolding me. No harsh words could hide it."

Lemmy had quietly slipped back into his shell and was now sitting next to her. "She sounds perfect."

"Yeah..." Suddenly, the Princess stood, picking up her socks and boots. "She was. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think my fatigue has finally manifested."

"Your Majesty, I-"

"Please, just 'Princess'. Or Peach." She gave a tired laugh. "I feel so old when somebody calls me 'Majesty'. God, I feel so old all the time anyway..."

"As acting monarch, though, shouldn't you hold the title of quee-"

Instantly, she was whirling on the Koopaling, eyes flashing a dangerous red in the half-light. Perhaps it was an optical illusion, but then again, perhaps not. "I am Princess Peach Toadstool," she told him in a stern, commanding tone, looking him in the eye. "My father is King and my mother is Queen, and until I ascertain their true fate, I cannot accept any such title." Her glare then slowly melted away until nothing was left but the weariness, the fatigue that never entirely disappeared. She began to walk back toward the camp. "I... just can't."

-o-o-o-o-

Wendy slogged through the jungle in silence. She had no words for the scum holding her leash. Indeed, she was more than content to march along hating him, cursing his very life and trying to keep her mind sharp. Sooner or later, he would slip up, and then she would-

"C'mon, quit slackin' off," Roy ordered. "Pick it up."

"Pick what up? Your dignity? I think you dropped it a ways back."

He jerked on the chain, causing it to collide with her jaw. She let out a miniscule moan, then was silent again.

"You're only makin' this harder on yerself. The quicker I get you back to King Dad, the quicker you'll be done wit' alla dis."

"Yeah, and the quicker I'll be rotting in a cell."

He shrugged. "Ya dug yer own grave, sis."

At that, she stopped in her tracks, whirling around to face him. "Why do you bend over and take it for that overgrown infant? All he does is boss us around, drool over the Mushroom Kingdom, and drink himself into a mindless stupor! _We_ should be throwing _him_ in the dungeon!"

Roy gritted his teeth. "Don't you use words like that, disrespecting our own pops!" He grabbed her by the neck. "He ain't perfect, but he's our frickin' _faddah!_ Have some respect!"

Wendy's eyes leaked unbidden, her face still set in anger. "I have no respect for a lizard who removed my mother from me when I wasn't even four."

"We all miss our moms, sis." He threw her to the dirt, entire body tense as he stared off into the distance, eyes unreadable behind his ever-present sunglasses. "I don't even got any idea who mine was. Not one clue. Pop says she was a Piranha Plant." An acidic laugh. "Wouldn't dat be a hoot? Have a giant set o' teeth for a mama? I still got no clue if he was kiddin' or not."

"Let's beat it out of him together," she pleaded. "I know you want to find out as much as I do."

He pointed a claw at her. "Not really, sis o' mine. I got a pops, and he's plenty to raise us kids."

"Don't you get it?" Wendy pushed to her bare, dusty feet, eyes burning with rage. "He doesn't give a flying fish about us! All he cares about is his booze, his brawn, and his Birdo porn collection!"

"Yeah, so wh... wait, how would youse know about that Birdo junk?"

"I walked in on him... 'using' it. I vomited on the spot." She barely kept from repeating the performance. "Don't you see? That sleaze doesn't even care where we are or what we're doing, as long as _he's_ happy, as long as _he's_ sated. Us kids are just something he has to deal with, like an ingrown claw or a clogged sink."

"Listen to ya," he sneered. "You been hangin' around that plumber so long yer beginnin' to talk like 'im."

She blinked, then realized what she'd said. "Oh, the sink thing. So what if I am?" Her face was inches from his. "Mario is more lizard than you, Daddykins, or any of those other moronic brothers of yours will ever be... and he's not even a lizard. So go to hell."

He licked her cheek. "You're cute when you're pissy."

She sputtered for a moment in outrage as Roy cackled, darkly pleased with his ability to unsettle her. His laughter was cut short by a vicious kick to the shin.

_"YOU LITTLE BITCH!"_

He decked her, and she crumpled to the ground. Swearing under his breath, he bent and checked his shin, finding four bloody clawmarks.

"Ohhh, dat's it; I'm through wit'cha. King Dad can do whatever da hell he wants, tar and feather, boil you in oil, it's fine by me. Screw it." Gritting his teeth, he yanked her to her feet, shaking her. "Wake up, you piece o' trash! Get a move on, willya?"

Wendy groaned as she began stumbling forward on her short leash, wondering if she'd ever be free of it again.

-o-o-o-o-

The rising of the sun woke Mario first, who in turn awoke the others. They packed up and were on their way within the hour.

"So," Luigi said to his brother, "what're ya gonna do when we rescue your lady friend? Go back to the dino village?"

"I suppose," he said, rubbing his now-stubbly chin. "For now. I mean, maybe if we gave it a little more time, the 'shrooms could accept her for who she is and we could move back. Ain't holdin' my breath, though."

"I'm sorry to say I was as guilty as they were," Peach told him meekly. "Gosh, I feel terrible for not wanting to see the good in her. I wish I'd at least spoken with her once or twice."

"I still dunno," Toad said. "I mean sure, _she's_ not so terrible, but what's next? She moves in, and before ya know it, I'm livin' next door to Triclyde."

They all rolled their eyes in unison.

"Toad, you really are a-"

Mario was cut off when his Yoshi screeched to a sudden halt, holding up his tiny arms to signal the other two.

"What is it, Yoshi?"

"Scent."

Peach's eyebrows went up. "You found the trail? That's wonderful!"

_"SHH!"_ After a moment, he continued in a lower voice, "Not on ground. In air."

Mario sniffed. The breeze carried a gentle hint of that scent that drove him mad; he sighed happily. "Yeah... there it is, allright."

"I'm out of the loop, here," Toad whispered. "What's the diff?"

He'd barely finished that sentence when all three Yoshis darted behind a cluster of trees, moving as quietly as their booted legs would allow.

"What _does_ this mean?" Mario whispered to the dino. "That-"

_"Look!"_ Yoshi hissed. They all peered through the leaves.

A pair of Goombas tromped past their eyes, a large bag balanced on their heads. They were closely followed by a Koopa Troopa, who was followed by two Chain Chomps.

Then she came into view.

"W-_mphh!"_ Lucky for all of them, Luigi had the foresight to clamp his hand over his brother's mouth, stifling the triumphant shout.

"Mario, geez," he hissed. "You wanna get us pummeled into pesto? Let's take our time, plan this out."

So they pondered the situation. Wendy was bound by chains and shackles which were attached to the trained Chomps. A few light scratches, some ugly bruises, and being covered in filth aside, she looked physically like she was in passable condition. That wasn't what bothered Mario; it was her mental state. Her eyes were downcast and expressionless, as if all the life had been siphoned out of her soul. What had they done to his friend?

"My poor sister," Lemmy breathed. "Father has a lot to answer for, and the list grows longer by the hour."

"I'm sure Toad and the Princess can handle the Goombas no sweat," Mario murmured, rubbing his stubble as he tried to concentrate on tactics, to check his emotions at the door for the time being. "Weegie can take the Troopa. That leaves me and Lemmy to try and get her away from those teeth on chains, if we can."

"What about the Yoshis?" Peach put in.

"Yoshi no can eat Chomps," the green one chimed in. "Too pointy." The other two shivered.

"Well," Mario sighed, "I guess we... uh-oh."

"Uh-oh?" the others whispered.

"Uh-oh!"

Luigi shook his head. "Again with the uh-oh, Mario. What's uh-oh?"

The others followed Mario's gaze, and everyone's breath caught.

"It's Roy," Lemmy hissed miserably.

"Yeah," Mario gulped. "Uh-oh."

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: Lemmy, or my weird interpretation of Lemmy, is pretty much the American definition of an otaku (also known as a "weeaboo"); he's obsessed with all things Japan. Not to the point where he has little Sailor Moon action figures and Gundam models all over his room or anything like that; he's more obsessed with feudal Japan and samurai and the like. Why? To be honest, because the honor and structure of _bushido_ are almost the exact opposite of the gluttony, back-stabbing and chaos he deals with being a Koopa. You know how most rebellious teenagers do things like shoplifting, joyriding, etc? How do you rebel when that's what's expected of you by your father? Yeah; you actually BEHAVE. Crazy, huh?


	7. Hostage Exchange Program

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 7: Hostage Exchange Program

"We're gettin' closer," Roy announced as he strutted along behind his detainee. "Soon you'll be back in King Dad's loving arms."

Wendy remained silent.

"Haha, nuttin' to say, Sis? Good. Your voice gives me a friggin' migraine."

"Just shut up," she whispered.

"What wazzat?"

She turned to him, her face still carefully blank. "I hope you're enjoying this. It's fun bossing people around, isn't it?"

"Hell yeah."

"Fun, but lonely." Her eyes turned toward the ground. "Sure, we all might have had some laughs terrorizing the 'shrooms, but that's just camaraderie. You don't have a friend in the whole damn world, and it hurts, doesn't it?"

Roy hesitated the barest amount of time longer than he should have. It was all the confirmation she needed to hear. _"Psh,_ whatever, you slutbag. Just keep m-"

A blow to the base of his skull finished his sentence prematurely. Wendy's eyes flew open as figures leapt out of the bushes all around her. Her mind was still a little fuzzy due to the sock in the jaw she'd taken from her older brother, and she couldn't focus on any of them well enough to distinguish what was happening. Then one came running toward her – a face she recognized instantly.

_"M-Mario!"_

He only glanced at her, but despite its brevity, his eyes held many emotions at once. Relief, anger, sympathy, determination... all shone through in spades. Immediately, he returned his attention to the Chomps, hurling fireballs at them at an unbelievable speed. Fireballs; those power-ups that had plagued the lives of the Koopa Klan were now going to be her saving grace. Mario missed their furiously gnashing teeth, but that's not what he was aiming for. The chains connecting her to them broke, and as he ran, he flung out an arm and pulled her off her feet.

"M-m-Mario, I-I-"

"Shh," he soothed as he stopped near a tree, giving her an excuse not to stutter like an moron. Once she was momentarily safe, he flashed her a quick smile then ran back to the fray.

From her position under the tree, she saw now the identities of her rescuers. Princess Peach and Toad were beating the tar out of the two Goombas. Luigi was picking up the shell of the Troopa, and presently threw it toward the two infuriated Chomps. Mario was hurtling toward where Roy was squaring off against-

_"Lemmy...!"_

As she tried to process the presence of her favorite sibling, Mario took to the air and came down on the head of her half-brother, sending him down and into his shell. Lemmy put a foot on top to keep it from spinning, then jabbed his wooden sword into the neckhole. Roy cried out in anguish and popped back out, rubbing his head. With a snarl, he tore the sword from his brother's hands, but before he could strike, Luigi and Mario both swept one of his legs apiece, sending him sprawling.

"High-five, Brother Mio!" Luigi shouted. They were halfway through the action when Peach's outcry reached their ears.

_"LOOK OUT!"_

Roy checked the younger plumber like a Charging Chuck, sending him flying toward Toad, who only had time to squeak anxiously before being flattened. Then the raging Koopa wheeled on Mario, grabbing him by the overall straps.

"I'm gonna make a plumber pizza outta you!"

"I think not."

The hulking mass glanced over his shoulder and gaped in horror. Lemmy had produced his pistol, and was aiming straight between the lenses of his shades.

"Go ahead," he growled, jerking Mario in front of him. "You gotta kill your sister's pimp first!"

Lemmy shrugged. "So?"

The air was still for an eternal instant, all eyes fixed on Lemmy, Mario, and Roy. Luigi and Toad stood up in slow, non-threatening movements. One of Peach's gloved hands went to her mouth. Both Roy and Mario's jaws slackened, eyes bulging.

"D-didn't you hear me?" Roy goaded, obviously thrown off by this claim. "I got me a meatball meatshield! You'll have to blow a hole right through him to get to me!"

"I can accept that."

Wendy fell to her knees. "No... no, you can't! Please, Lem, don't do-"

Then the shot rang out. All eyes followed the bullet in terror as it hurtled forward to its mark, a blurry streak of gleaming black. Roy and Mario fell backward. A string of crimson droplets marked their descent. Dust flew up around them as they hit the forest floor.

Wendy and Peach screamed. So did Toad. Luigi passed out.

"So easily he forgets our childhood," Lemmy said grimly. "I always mopped the floor with him in Duck Hunt."

To their confused amazement, Mario sat up, eyes still wide in horror. "Y...you..."

"Never intended to kill you," Lemmy finished for him. "My skills as a marksman are impeccable, if I do say so myself." He paused to blow away the smoke spilling from the barrel of his firearm. "The way he was poorly using you to protect his own cowardly ass, I could have hit him in at least a dozen places without so much as nicking your overalls." Then he smirked. "Makes it harder to do when you only have one bullet to begin with, though. I hate guns; this was insurance and nothing more."

Mario slowly pushed to his feet. "Well, if you're such an ace with a six-shooter, why'd you say you didn't care if you killed me?"

"To throw him off. The more confident and determined I seemed, the more intimidated he would become. Bullies have no real courage. Besides, when you live with somebody for seventeen years, you pick up on these things."

"You _bastard!"_

Lemmy blinked as Wendy charged straight for him. He blinked again after she slapped him in the face, eliciting a cracking sound that was nearly as loud as the gunshot.

"I can't believe you freaking shot at a defenseless captive!"

"I did what I had to," he told her, sounding slightly worried.

"You could've _killed_ him!"

"I didn't kill either of them. Look for yourself."

Everyone bent to inspect Roy more closely. A trickle of red was running down his temple from a wound that was clearly glancing; there wasn't even any danger that he'd bleed out from such minimal loss.

"Huh," Toad grunted. "Fainted from shock."

"You did that on purpose," Peach guessed tentatively, "didn't you?"

"Yeah. He may be a twisted retch, but you can't pick your family, can you?" She smiled in spite of the situation, and Lemmy shrugged.

Wendy gazed at him evenly for a long moment before speaking. "You always did kick all our asses at Duck Hunt, that's true enough."

"Sis... I would rather there had been another way, but-"

"Don't you ever scare me like that again." Tears leaked from her eyes as she flung her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.

"I certainly hope I don't have to." He looked up at Mario. "You've proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. For a human, you're one hell of a lizard."

Mario smiled bemusedly. "Uhh, thanks, I think."

Wendy was now looking up at him. He could now see how much her capture had taken its toll. A fresh bruise was blossoming under her left eye, more scattered on her arms, and tiny droplets of dried blood still clung to her right temple, matting the hair adjoining. Her neck was red and chafing from the iron collar she still wore. On the other hand, the blood drying on the talons of her right foot told him she hadn't gone quietly.

Without any early warning sign of what he intended, Mario turned his head and spat on Roy's unconscious body. "If he'd blown your brains out, I can't say I'd cry much, you creep."

"Mario..."

He turned to face her, ignoring the dismay in her voice. "Thank God, Wendy. Thank God we got here in time!"

"It wasn't God who showed up here, b-but... but maybe He deserves a quick prayer anyway for sending you my way." Then she drew up against him, closing her eyes and breathing shakily. "I thought I'd never see you again," she choked out, hands pressing into his back.

"I couldn't let that happen," he replied softly. "If anything had gone wrong and I'd lost you..." Neither of them could say any more, and they simply embraced for a short eternity.

"Uhh, Mario..."

"Yes?" he breathed into her hair.

"We oughtta go now..."

"Oh, right." Reluctantly, he let go of the woman he was holding and coughed into a gloved fist. "What should we do with, uh..."

"I will haul him back to King Dad," Lemmy sighed bitterly. "Not that I relish the task, but the rest of you need to decide your next move. You don't have time to take out the trash."

As he stooped to hoist Roy's enormous form, Wendy moved toward him hesitantly. "What's up?" he asked, looking up from his crouch.

"Sorry I slapped you. Some 'hello', huh?"

Lemmy flashed her a weary smile. "Forget it. You were understandably a little shaken. In your position, I probably would've punched me in the gut."

She bent down and hugged him warmly. "Love you, Lemmy Lee!"

"Ditto, Wendy O."

"Please stay safe," Peach bade him, surprising herself almost as much as she surprised him. "We... well, I'd hate to send you off on a suicide mission just to make things easier on us."

Lemmy's mouth worked for a moment before a wry grin stole over his features. "Anything for you, Majesty."

"Didn't I ask you not to call m-"

"It's only respectful, though, isn't it?" Then he hefted his brother's bulk, and with an uncomplicated "Farewell", he set off through the jungle.

"Cigar, _paesan?"_ Luigi offered with a grin.

Mario laughed. "I don't smoke, Weege. You know that."

"Me, neither," he said while producing a small packet, still wrapped. "But the good guys won, right?"

Mario smiled, shaking his head. Back on Earth, Luigi had always come up with some cigars when they'd just finished a big high-paying job, or when something equally great happened. Which meant, given their rotten luck and negative-balance bank account, this was maybe the second or third time they'd ever done this. "Where'd you even _get_ cigars?"

"I found out they make these in the Kingdom." Mario squinted at the package, and sure enough, he saw the head of a toadstool with a stogie in his mouth. "Got 'em about a week ago."

"Well, this _is_ an occasion," he said while glancing at Wendy, who blushed.

In the end, Mario, Luigi and Toad enjoyed the mellow flavor of a "Spôr". Peach and Wendy politely declined, and the Yoshis wanted to eat them, which Luigi objected to heatedly.

"Thanks, guys," Mario said through an acrid cloud. "I don't think I could've done it alone."

"Hey, we got your back," Toad said, grinning.

"Besides, 'Mario Bros. Plumbing' is a stupid name if there's only one brother." Luigi rolled his eyes. "Especially when his name's not even Mario. So I gotta make sure you stay on the payroll, right?"

"Five-card stud?" Toad asked, producing a pack of cards. As Luigi started dealing, they didn't notice Peach leading Wendy a short way away.

"What is it?" Wendy asked, a quizzical look on her face.

"I wished to apologize to you." Her eyes were downcast, and she removed her safari hat as she spoke. "It seems I've misjudged you – by a wide margin. My fear of the Koopas hindered my ability to make an intelligent choice, to distinguish between them and you as an individual. Worse still than my initial shortsightedness, I heard the reports of your alleged wrongdoings and believed them because I placed too much trust in the hearts of my prejudiced subjects. I know it doesn't erase the hell you've had to endure these past few weeks, but... can you forgive a foolish princess?"

Wendy gazed at her for a long moment.

"Your Majesty... if I were you, I'd probably have left me to rot in Fungitraz. I'm a criminal; worse, a Koopa. Whether or not Daddy was twisting my arm, I've still committed too many horrible acts to count. If I were _really_ a good person, I'd have run away ages ago." She put a hand on Peach's arm, and the princess peered upward through her flowing locks of auburn. "You actually gave me a chance. It's more than I deserved."

The young monarch smiled at the battered girl in front of her. "You deserve a life of your own. Not this, not injury, not running and hiding." She drew a deep breath, and when she spoke again it was in formal tones. "You are now welcome, by royal decree, to live within the confines of Toadstool Castle if you wish. I guarantee a ward of my Kingdom will not be subject to such ghastly abuse, or mark my words, many a mushroom will find themselves decaying slowly in the very cell you so undeservedly had to endure."

For a moment, Wendy merely stared in disbelief. Then she beamed, hugging the princess tightly. "I... I can't believe... oh, thank you, thank you, thank you..."

Peach grimaced, even as her cheeks glowed. "Dear, you're squishing the royal bladder..."

-o-o-o-o-

Lemmy's shoulders were slack and dejected. Yes, he was happy for his sister, but he would still miss her. Now he was all alone in the madhouse that is Bowser's Keep.

Of course, he wasn't quite there, yet. He adjusted a few controls on the panel in front of him, and the tank shuddered to life, beginning its trek across the icy tundra. Miles of frozen death lay between him and the less-frozen death of home.

Just as he sagged against the panel, the radio crackled to life. "302, come in... 302, do you copy?"

He sighed and grabbed the microphone. "What is it, Iggy?"

"You're supposed to say '10-4, home base'," the young voice replied. "Have you recaptured the rogue agent?"

"No." He sighed again. Lemmy hated lying to his little brother, but if he told him the truth, Iggy would be naive enough to tell somebody else. "I couldn't find her. I did manage to pick up what was left of Roy, though." He glanced back to where Roy was zonked out. An injection of a certain chemical he'd learned of by reading books on _ninjutsu_ would wipe his short-term memory, so no bonds were really necessary.

"Aw, man," Iggy grumbled. "I guess it was Mario, huh?"

Lemmy suppressed a grin. "I guess so."

"Stupid jerk... one of these days, we'll flatten him – right, Bro?"

"Of course. We're Koopas!"

"Yeah! Well, see you when you get back. Home base out."

A sadness gripped Lemmy's heart. He would love nothing more than to escape from his demented father's grasp and take Iggy with him before the boy's heart was corroded by such pervasive evil, but that just simply didn't seem possible.

'But Wendy did it,' a little voice told him. 'If she could do it...'

He shook his head. He couldn't afford to think about that so soon. The time would come.

-o-o-o-o-

_"Blathering bilge-rats!"_

The evil King Bowser Koopa pounded the armrest of his concrete throne, cracking it slightly. "Those parmesan paesano plumbers have perturbed me again! They stump me at every turn, and now they've got Kootie Pie!"

"A change of tactics, most certainly," Ludwig growled from his miniature throne. "Yes, yes, going on the offense, taking a page from your book, Father."

He heaved himself out of his seat and began pacing, his scaly bulk shaking the castle with each step. "Clog-brained copycats! They can't do this to Bully, not to _my_ kids!"

"Perhaps we can persuade them," Larry mused, the ever-present malevolent glint in his eye. "Capture their princess again and offer to trade captives."

"And then, when we've got my daughter back, we keep Peach anyway!" The pitiful excuse for a nation's leader grinned. "Good plan, son. _That's_ how a Koopa thinks!"

"Thanks, King Dad."

"But Goomba intelligence has informed me that Her Majesty is abroad," Morton babbled animatedly. "Gone, missing, on vacation, not to be found!"

Ludwig snickered. "Goomba intelligence. An oxymoron if I ever heard one."

"I don't know what that means, but I don't like it!" Morton shouted.

_"Shaddap!"_ Bowser began pacing again. "Those pasta faces got her, I know it! In that crappy old Dinosaur World! I shoulda blocked off that pipe years ago!"

"Sorry I can't be of much help," Lemmy said quietly. "All I found was Roy."

The eldest Koopa paused just long enough to pat Lemmy on the head as if he were a toddler, even though he had to reach upward to do it. "That's allright, Son; you brought back Bully. That's more important, anyway, 'cause we'll need the whole Koopa Klan working on this!"

Lemmy groaned inwardly. How he despised those infantile nicknames. His was "Hop", for _Kami's_ sake! Just because he used to roll around on that stupid ball all the time...

"They're not on Yoshi Island," Lemmy supplied on impulse. "I found Roy just past that." He hoped against hope that they'd gone back to Yoshi Island immediately.

"Great; we'll start from the Yoshi Bridge," the King rumbled. "Gather the troops, we're going to pound some plumbers into pesto!"

"And pilfer a princess!" Larry shouted.

"And possibly procure the prat!" Ludwig chimed in.

The Koopas cackled. Lemmy joined in to keep up appearances, but his laughter was empty. He sincerely hoped none of them would ever find Mario and company again, but his father was determined. This could end in nothing but disaster.

-o-o-o-o-

A fleet of ominous wooden tanks advanced toward the blue pipe that led to Dinosaur World. Due to the drugging, the last memory Roy had was leading Wendy toward the bridge, and everything after that had been wiped blank. None of the others suspected Lemmy had anything to do with his sister's escape. Perfection.

A whir of helicopter blades met Lemmy's ears. He looked up blandly at the ludicrous craft carrying his father; a small rounded white bucket with a clown face painted on it, the propeller mounted on the bottom. The abomination was Ludwig's doing; the absurd clown face was Iggy's. Lemmy suppressed a laugh; how did their patriarch expect to be feared and respected in something like that?

"Here we are!" Bowser thundered from overhead.

"One question," Lemmy called out. "How do these tanks get through that pipe?"

"I have the solution," Ludwig said, motioning to a nearby tank. A rather large cone-shaped object was strapped to a flatbed. "A little something I whipped up overnight. The Warp Funnel! It squeezes matter into the size needed to travel through the pipes. Once on the other end, the subject reverts to its original state. I'm so brilliant!" He cackled madly, single eye twitching.

'Wendy,' Lemmy prayed silently, 'I hope you guys have made yourselves scarce.'

-o-o-o-o-

_"Aah!"_

Mario jumped, his eyes flying open to behold a sea of orange. After he blinked a few times, he realized it was hair. He pushed himself up and Wendy rolled over to look at him, giggling.

"Behave yourself!" she exclaimed playfully. "Since when did I say you were allowed to paw all over me? Just because we don't have a king-sized mattress..."

"Hey, I just-" Then he sighed, smiling. "You know full well that I was out cold."

"Do I?" she whispered with a wry grin. "You certainly don't feel cold to me. And, um, your wrench is digging into my tail."

"Is it? S-sorry bout that." He rolled off her, neglecting to mention that it wasn't his wrench.

As the first few rays of dawn peeked curiously into their hut, Mario looked around. Luigi and Toad were sacked out in two of the corners, Toad sleeping on his mushroom cap again. The Princess was curled up against the wooden chest, her head resting on her pack, a blanket draped over her. He absentmindedly stroked Wendy's tail, trying to soothe the pain his "wrench" had caused. Right now, in this moment... he was more or less grateful to be exactly where he was. With everyone that he cared about present and accounted for.

His hand had only passed up the tail once when she squealed, _"MARIO!"_

"What, what's happening?"

It startled him to notice that her face was extremely flushed. "You were... stroking my tail!"

He gaped at her blankly. "Yeah?" She stared right back intently, as if he should comprehend her alarm without further explanation. "Sorry, was I not supposed to do that? Is it sore or something?"

Wendy sputtered for a moment. "Gh- A girl's tail is _not_ just dead weight!" she hissed, growing a bit redder as she spoke. "It's an erogenous zone, especially closer to the base!"

"Eroge_huh?"_

"A... 'hot spot'."

Mario nearly keeled over and died right then. _"Really?"_

She merely nodded, biting her lip. The puzzled plumber stared off into space, his eyes still bugging. Evidently, he'd just done the lizard equivalent of feeling somebody up.

"Mario, your nose is bleeding."

Sure enough, a red drop fell from his mustache. "Well, now I _am_ embarrassed."

The Koopa girl was still blushing and now smiling shyly to boot. "Okay, I guess it's possible you could have not known that. Girls where you come from don't have tails, do they?"

"No, they sure don't," he said, laughing nervously. All of a sudden, he found he was painfully aware of how close they were to each other in the bed. There was a sheet in between them, and they were fully clothed, but given what they were talking about and the way not just one, but both of them had felt the stirrings of interest without really meaning to... they might as well have been sleeping together in the buff.

"Mario?"

"I- I'm really sorry, Wen. You know I didn't intend to grope you or anything."

"Well... I can't say I minded."

That was more than he could handle. She _what?_

When she had decided that Mario was very obviously struck dumb, she pouted and whispered, "Oh, come on, don't be all quiet now. You didn't mean to, and I didn't mind. Done and over with."

He grinned goofily, even while trying to reconcile his action and her enjoyment. "Does that mean I can do it again?" That one earned him a light punch in the arm.

"Not today. We'll see how well you behave, Mister."

Their bashful, flustered laughter woke Toad first. "Wzzt?" he mumbled.

"Mornin', Toadie," Mario said.

"Svrznngglkk coffee," the mushroom grunted, scratching his head.

"Sorry, pal, no Dinoccino here."

"Ragh." He buried his face in his cap. "Wake me when they invent it."

All that woke the other plumber. "Somebody say cappuccino?"

"Nope," Wendy told him truthfully as she slid her arms around Mario's waist. If asked, the plumber would have admitted that he wasn't entirely comfortable with the possessiveness of this action, but how was he going to call her on it without making a scene? "Yoshis wouldn't even know what you were talking about."

"Aw, man, what do these dinos drink in the morning?"

"Uh, water, probably," Mario yawned.

"That's no fun." He stood up and grabbed his cap off the ground. "I guess we go brew some... water, then."

"I guess." Mario yawned again. "I had a crazy dream."

"What about?" Wendy asked.

"So we were all here, sleeping," he began as Wendy snuggled against his back. Did she have to be so damn persistent? "I, uh, got out of bed 'cause I heard something. I go outside, and there's Koopa- err, King Koopa- riding around in the weirdest thing I've ever seen – like Bozo the Clown meets Inspector Gadget. Then all these Troopas charge me. One of them throws something at me... and that's it, then I woke up on top of Wendy."

Luigi's eyebrows raised. "On _top_ of Wendy?"

"Drop it," he said, shooting him a look.

"Ahh." The taller plumber grinned. "Okay."

"Hey, it wasn't like that!"

"Okay, okay!" But that grin was still there.

"Last night was a real blast, wasn't it?" Wendy stroked his chest as she spoke in a throaty voice. "I'll never forget it."

"WH- _now cut that out!_" Mario was indignant; Luigi was rolling. "HEY!" He turned his attention to his guffawing brother. "I did _not_ have sexual relations with that Koopa!"

Now Wendy was giggling, and Toad, who had sat back up while Mario was relating his dream, was cackling his head off.

"ARGH!" Mario stomped out the door, the echoing laughter following him.

Everything was a pale blue in the breaking day. The grass rippled in the warm breeze, and a few strange-sounding birds were just beginning their song. All key ingredients in the recipe for peace.

Our hero sighed, a smile slowly tugging at the corners of his mustache. He knew they were just kidding around, but his feathers were ruffled and his cheeks were still a bit crimson – both from their joking and from the not-quite-joking he and Wendy had been engaged in moments before. Maybe he'd go back inside after a few minutes. For now, he was enjoying the beauty of the morning. The bright-green bushes, the quaint thatched huts, even the dirt trails...

The trails seemed to have quite a few new footprints.

-o-o-o-o-

"Wendy O. Koopa... what's the 'O' stand for, anyway?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she goaded the 'shroom as she pulled on her boots.

"Right now it stands for 'Obstinate'," Toad shot back. She stuck her tongue out at him, grinning ear to ear.

"So, Kootie Pie," Luigi said as he leaned against the wall, "what're you gonna do now? I mean, career-wise and all."

"Go to school," she declared happily. "We didn't exactly learn the three R's from my dad – unless they're Ridicule, Raunchiness and Ripping People Off."

"Yeah, I guess not," Toad snorted. "Present company excepted, chica, the Koopa Klan doesn't run at the highest wattage."

"You and that Lemmy kid seem well-read, though," Luigi put in.

"That's because we are. Both of us read a lot; we've got lots of books lying around that we stole from this kingdom or that one, so we might as well lose ourselves in other people's stories. It kept our minds off things."

"Makes sense. Living in a place like that, I'd definitely hole up in the library."

Those words were barely out of Luigi's mouth when the door burst open and Mario hurtled through. "It wasn't a dream!" he shouted.

"Huh?" they chorused.

"It really happened, Bowser was here!"

They all looked at each other. "Mario, I think getting frisky with a reptile has destroyed what was left of your mind," Toad quipped.

"Would you cut that crap out? This is serious!"

"Mario," Luigi began deliberately, "if he really _was_ here, why don't any of us remember it? Wouldn't we wake up?"

"And if he _wasn't_ here," he replied with the same irritated patience as Luigi, "then why didn't all our commotion this morning wake Peach?"

As one, their eyes turned to the form sleeping by the chest. Luigi strode quickly to it and jerked off the blanket, and they all gasped.

What was sleeping on the pack wasn't sleeping at all. It wasn't even alive. Perhaps it had once been, in the form of lumber.

"A _dummy!"_ Toad gasped.

"Yes, a dummy, dummy!" Mario cried. He looked at it more intently, and his brow furrowed. "The face..."

"Huh?" Luigi said distractedly.

"I saw it... in the dream. It was painted on that stupid copter Bowser was in!"

They all stared, disbelieving, at the clownish face on the mannequin. It even had a reddish wig, styled just like Peach's own hair.

"No..." Wendy whispered.

_"Dammit!"_ Mario yelled. "That must've been sleeping powder that Troopa threw at me!"

"No, no, no," Wendy blubbered, already nearing tears. "She was so nice to me yesterday... she... why did this have to..."

"You'd better have a look at this," Luigi said, holding out a scrap of paper. Mario took it, and Wendy looked over his shoulder. Toad hopped onto Luigi's, straining to see.

_"Dear Drain-Brains,  
I have your juicy Peach. If you ever want to see the trollop again, bring my daughter to the local__ Dinosaur World_ branch of the Koopa Empire. Otherwise, I can't promise what'll happen to her – except I promise it'll be nasty!  
Sincerely,  
King Bowser Koopa  
P.S.: There's a Bob-Omb in the dummy. The note was attached to its trigger. Have fun!" 

Mario's head jerked up. _"LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!"_

Just as they all fled, the explosive creature ignited, and the little hut exploded. Sticks and straw flew in all directions, dirt and debris pelting passerby.

The four heroes slowly picked themselves up, dusting their clothes off. Coins were scattered all around the smoking shell of the hut; the coins Mario had stashed in the chest.

"Well, that sure was fun," Luigi said, patting the dirt from his cap. "Or somebody's bass-ackwards idea of it."

"Stupid," Wendy growled through gritted teeth. "He almost killed us all. How can we bring him _anything_ when we're all _dead?_ Stupid, arrogant..."

"What now?" Toad asked. "We gotta find Bowser's new hideout, right?"

Luigi gave a moan. "Wherever that could be."

"I've had it," Mario said darkly. They all looked over at him curiously, and were surprised at the intensity showing on his face, in his eyes. "I'm sick of this. All of it, all this capture-rescue bullfunky. This is the last time Bowser gets to play his little games. When we find that slimy bastard, I'm punching his clock once and for all!"

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: A little more flirting - mostly on Wendy's part. I'll let you know that this chapter mostly sets up the rest of the fiction, though there's a dozen chapters left to go. What fun! How do you like Lemmy as the man on the inside? And... when I post Chapter 8, it's going to hit everybody with an "AUTHOR ALERT/STORY ALERT", even though _that _chapter is mostly rewrites of old material. Sorry! Also, I'm too tired right now to apologize more profusely so you'll just have to take that and run with it, guys.


	8. Neon Exodus

CAUTION: If you are one of my "alumni" who first read this story years and years ago and got here thanks to Story Alert, you should know that the first seven chapters have been completely rewritten and brand new scenes added. Based on that, you might want to refresh before I get around to posting the new stuff.

* * *

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 8: Neon Exodus

"Father... a word?"

King Bowser Koopa turned to his son. "Yeah, what is it, Hop?"

Lemmy stifled a sigh at his use of the nickname. "It's just that I'm curious as to your logic. Why did you capture only Princess Toadstool?"

The evil terrapin frowned while idly scratching his behind. "That was the plan, you dolt. Hijack 'Her Royal Fungus' and lure that drain-brain and his contemptible chums into my Neon Castle. Then we'll have Wendy back, and have some fun with those numbskulls to boot!"

"But wouldn't it have been so much simpler to just... get Wendy instead? She was right there in the same hut, we could've-"

"Lemmy, Lemmy, Lemmy," Bowser said placatingly. "That way's a snore! I want them to suffer a little! Besides, those dweebs are gonna come here to get Peach, anyway. Might as well let them bring me that treacherous teen daughter of mine."

"But it still-"

"Now, Hop." The huge, oily dictator smiled in a way he probably thought was kindly and fatherly. It made him look like a buffoon. "Your old man knows best. Run along and listen to that rock and roll or whatever the hell and leave the plotting to me."

"Yes... _sir."_ His father was so full of himself that he didn't even pick up on the spiteful edge in his son's voice. "I'll... just go and check on the prisoner."

"Fantastic. Now, where's that lackey Lakitu with my mud mask?"

Lemmy Koopa sighed as he strode from the throne room. It was more tempting than ever now to defect, to turn his back on this asinine fool and his delusions. He seemed to be descending further into madness with each passing day. It wouldn't be long before it started spreading... perhaps even to Lemmy himself.

-o-o-o-o-

"Please... just let me go..."

"Nope," Iggy said, tossing the keys into the air for what seemed like the thousandth time, and dropping them for what seemed like the hundredth. "My job is to guard the prisoner. It's a very important one, y'know."

Peach sagged against the bars. "Why do you even want to keep me here?"

The youngest of the Koopa Klan shrugged. "Cuz I'm s'posed ta."

"But what have I ever done to you?"

"My dad says you're a witch," he answered indignantly. "He says you're mean to him all the time, and that we gotta lock you up good so you can't do stuff like that anymore."

"He's lying, you know."

Iggy jumped up from his stool. "Is not!"

She frowned. "Iggy, do you believe everything your father says?"

"Of course. He's my pop, he wouldn't lie to me."

"Did he tell you he only captured me to lure my friends into his trap? My friends... and your sister?"

His tone made it plain that he thought she was being obstinate on purpose. "You guys have Wendy. My dad wants her back – we all do."

"What if I told you she didn't _want_ to come back?"

Iggy seemed puzzled by this. Puzzled, and a little sad. "Why wouldn't she?"

"Wendy likes it better with us. She doesn't want to live with your father anymore." Suddenly, Mario's report flashed to the forefront of her thoughts. "Because of the way he treats her, treats all of you."

The boy's face and voice took on a panicky undertone. "I d-don't know what you're talking about."

"I know about the beatings, Iggy." Peach leaned as far forward as she could, daring to hope she might get through to the littlest Koopaling. "I know he hurts you, Wendy, and the rest of your brothers. That when he's mad because he lost a battle he drinks, and then he takes his frustrations out on you."

"It's not true!"

"Don't you ever get tired of it? Don't you ever wish he'd stop?"

Now there were tears in the corner of his eyes. _"You_ stop! Stop it!"

"He's your father, it's not right for him to-"

_"SHUT UP!"_

Peach blinked and jerked backwards as the stool shattered against the cell's bars, shielding her face from the splinters.

"You can't talk about him like that! You're our prisoner! Act like one and _shut up!"_ He grabbed the keys from the floor and ran from the room just as he started crying in earnest.

Princess Toadstool shivered as she slid down the back wall of her prison. It was a decent temperature for a dungeon, but her lack of clothing left her somewhat cold. En route to this heretofore-unknown castle, she had been stripped of everything but her undergarments and her tank top on the pretense that she might be concealing a weapon. Having Bowser drool over her posterior was horrible enough, but when Larry had pinched it... and all anyone had done in response was laugh. Snicker and leer, like brutes. But that was over and done with now. She didn't know which she wanted more: to be elsewhere, or to have decent garments covering her. Both for modesty and warmth.

"Princess?"

She looked up, startled at the kind voice. "Is... is that you, Lemmy?"

Indeed, it was; he was now wearing simply his shell, and she was startled to see the lean, muscular build of his limbs. None of the other Koopas were built like him... and she was indecent!

"I met Iggy on his way out. What did you say to him?"

"Oh, just the truth," she said, drawing her knees up under her chin to minimize exposure as her cheeks reddened slightly. "Apparently the wrong thing to do."

He blinked, then looked away while coughing into his fist. "Sorry about your clothes. They didn't leave you much in the way of dignity."

"It's allright. I'm a bit chilly, that's all."

"You said you told him the truth...?"

"I confronted him about his father. Your father. The... abuse."

Lemmy pulled a face. "Not a wise move with Ig, I'm afraid. He thinks the world of our family, and anything to the contrary upsets him easily."

"So I noticed." She fixed him with a piercing glare, as if to divine the answer straight from his skull before he could tell her himself. "Why don't you leave? Why don't you just pack up and tell these cold-hearted monsters to take a long walk off a short pier?"

"Honestly? For him. I know he's a good kid, just... misguided. I have to look out for his interests. Hell, nobody else will, nobody in the entire world – or _worlds_, as the case may be."

"Couldn't you just, I don't know, take him with you?"

Lemmy laughed bitterly. "And deflate his illusion of our perfect family in the process. No, as close as we are, I don't think he'd come along willingly. It would be nice, though..."

Peach sighed yet again, running a hand through her unkempt red tangle. "I'm sorry."

"Don't get all worked up over it. There's no way for you to undo over a decade of brainwashing with a few kind words." He glanced down, noticing the remnants of the stool. "Hmm, he really _was_ pissed."

"If I had known how he would react, I would never have brought it up..."

"A noble effort, all the same." He walked over to her cell, grasping a bar with one hand. As he did so, she caught a hint of something on the air – something that hadn't been in the drafty cell beforehand. What was it? It washed over her, made her feel light-headed... yet emboldened. "You can't know how sorry I am for all this, Princess... if only I'd been there, maybe I could've stopped them from stripping you down, at the very least. Keeping up appearances got a lot harder with you in the brig; it took everything I had to keep from busting you loose right in front of them."

Peach rose and placed a hand on his, marveling at the smooth texture. She'd expected it to feel like snakeskin. "But if you tried, I'm sure they would have ripped you apart. Better to stick to the script. I survived."

Lemmy bit his lip and they stayed like that for a long moment. Then he whispered, "You know, I'm not really sure why I'm even doing this. A week ago, I couldn't have cared less what happened to you, or Mario or any humans or mushrooms at all. Neither did I wish you harm, exactly, but I was... indifferent. Now all of a sudden, because you're my sister's new 'family', I felt obligated to lend a hand – because helping you would help her." His eyes took on a dullish cast as he muttered, "And then we had our little chat by the water's edge, and I assisted Mario in rescuing Wendy... and here I am, worrying about some spongy monkey-girl like she's family, too."

"Lemmy..." Her heart caught in her throat, and she had to work to clear it for further speech. "Well, I'm not sure whether to feel touched by your concern or insulted at being called 'monkey-girl', but, um... thank you, Mr. Koopa."

"Maybe I can get you out of here," he mused, eyes sweeping the layout. "I mean, a literal jailbreak is impossible, the stone is too thick, so without Bob-Ombs... but we have keys to the cells, and I could try sneaking you out the back door. Father probably would never expect treachery from his own flesh and blood. And I swear I'll find your clothes and have them returned to you before I implement any plans I come up with."

"Oh, forget about that," Peach snickered. "Clothes are pretty low on my list of priorities right now. Besides, at least I'm not naked."

For a moment, she thought she saw his cheeks pinken. Had she imagined it? Then he coughed again and stepped back, reclaiming his hand. "Ah, yes, well... I should go, they'll wonder where I am."

"Thanks for stopping by!" she said with mock-bubbliness.

He managed a weak smile, then turned away. He hesitated after a few steps. "Wendy... seems happier with Mario. I wonder...?"

"Yes?"

A pause. "It's nothing. I'll see you soon."

-o-o-o-o-

The afternoon sun beat down roughly on Dinosaur World, warming the earth and foliage. The wildlife of Pokeys, Caterkillers and various other beasts moved lazily across Donut Plains, yawning and stopping to dine on grass and plants. A Monty Mole poked his head out of the ground – and quickly drew it back in. Yoshis were coming, and the creature was in no mood to be ingested.

"But we still have no clue where they are!" Luigi complained. "Shouldn't we, I dunno... send somebody out to gather some kind of intelligence?"

"Not much of that around here," Toad mumbled.

"We can't give up," Mario said firmly. "We've never let the Princess down before, and now isn't the time to start."

"Riding this thing is making me saddle-sore," Wendy whined. "I'm gonna have bruises all over my butt for weeks."

The corner of his mouth twitched up. "Last time I massaged it, you got mad."

"That was my tail," she corrected coyly. "And like I said, I didn't mind."

"Mario gettin' a little too handsy for ya?"

_"Shut up, Toad!"_ they shouted in unison.

When the tiny band of heroes went to visit the Great Yoshi, he had granted them use of the same three dinos upon learning of their new plight. Mario was on his trusty green, Wendy on the blue one, and Luigi and Toad on the red one (as Toad barely counted, and Luigi was very thin, their combined weight was probably equal to Mario after a heavy meal).

Mario wondered helplessly what his enemies were doing with Peach. It seemed that every time he turned around, she was in Bowser's clutches again. This was, what, the third or fourth time, now? He needed to teach her some kung fu, or one of those other Eastern disciplines. If only he knew any. Maybe Lemmy could-

_"Look out!"_

Mario held on for dear life as his Yoshi bolted out of the way of the biggest Bullet Bill he'd ever seen.

"That thing was the size of a house!"

"Tell me about it," Luigi said from the ground. His Yoshi had reared back to avoid it, sending him to the dirt.

"Geroff!" came Toad's muffled voice.

"Oh, sorry, little guy." He stood to let Toad up.

"'Skinny' ain't no synonym for 'light as a feather'," he squeaked, dusting himself off.

The blue Yoshi tromped up to Mario. "I'm a little scared, here," Wendy told him, gazing after the receding bullet. "I've never been on the receiving end of this crap before. Are we gonna be okay?"

He could tell she was a little shaken, so he flashed a winning smile. "Of course. There ain't anything the Mario Bros. can't handle, right, Weege?"

"You betcha," the younger brother replied. "You've dragged me through so much hell, this should be a piece of pizza pie."

"Speaking of which..." Toad patted his stomach. "I'm famished."

"Yoshi Tree!" the green dino said, indicating one just ahead.

"Those things aren't half bad," Mario assured them. "Wanna call lunch?"

Several minutes later found them reclining under said tree, smacking and licking their lips. "It looks like an apple," Wendy observed between bites, "but tastes sorta like a nectarine. Kinda like a pear, too – or a Jugem Fruit. Remember how light and airy they are?"

"Maybe I should grab a bunch of these to take back to the Mushroom Village," Luigi said, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "I could probably make a fortune."

"I'd pay," Toad managed through a mouthful. Wendy yawned and curled up, her head in Mario's lap. "Awww," Toad cooed, "How precious." She flipped him off, to which he laughed.

"I suppose we can rest for an hour or so," Mario said, absentmindedly stroking her hair. "We really need to get moving soon, though. I'm worried."

"Yeah, let's make it a half-hour," Luigi yawned, watching the Yoshis stretch out on the grass.

Mario didn't feel much like a nap, but he couldn't argue with the group mentality. The sun was beginning to set, and that and the gentle breeze were conspiring to make him feel lazy. He leaned back against the trunk of the Yoshi Tree, petting the head of the girl gracing his lap. There was some contentment to be found in the midst of their plight after all.

'Just half an hour...'

-o-o-o-o-

Another sigh escaped Lemmy's lips as he paced. Having never lived here in the Neon Castle, his bedchambers were sparse indeed. There was very little to do around here. Several times he had contemplated visiting Peach again, but that would be too soon, too risky; the others might catch on that one of their own had befriended the enemy. About the only other activity left to him in this dreary castle was conversing with his family – a prospect that incurred an eye-roll every time he thought of it.

"God, _why?"_ he whispered into the emptiness around him. "Why was this world built to be my hell?" He ground his teeth, pacing faster. He was going stir crazy. The longer he thought about it, the more urgent an escape seemed. But it was less a question of desire than of means. How to go about it? And how to convince-

"Lemmy?"

_-Iggy._

The young Koopaling pounded on the door. "Bro, you in there?"

"Yeah," he sighed, sagging down into the bed. "What is it?"

The door flew open and Iggy strolled in, looking important. "It's dinner time!"

"I'm not hungry."

"Oh, come on. Not even a little? It's your favorite: Piranha Plant salad with a fillet of Cheep-Cheep!"

"No."

"What's wrong?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. "You look kinda down."

Lemmy tried to force a grin. "Nothin', runt. Just tired."

Iggy scowled as he pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Liar. C'mon, what's up?"

"I'm..." Hesitation. This was not going to work, but somehow after talking to the princess he couldn't stop himself from trying anyway. "I'm thinking about taking a little vacation."

"But Lem... aren't we on vacation now?"

"Vacation my tail. We're cooped up in a castle not so dissimilar to the one we normally live in. Swapping dungeons is not my idea of getting away from it all."

"That's true. So, uh, where you goin'?"

"That is of little importance. I just need to get away from here."

Catching the acidity in his brother's tone, Iggy frowned. "Why?"

"Boredom. Aggravation. Disgust. I'm sick of Dear Old Dad's hostage games."

"Hop, I don't get it-"

"I told you I _hate_ that name!" Lemmy rebuked him through gritted teeth. Then he glanced at his brother's shocked expression and snorted. "See, that's what I'm talking about; nobody around here really cares what I think. What anybody but themselves thinks. It's that 'me-first' mentality that annoys me the most."

"I care, Bro," the boy protested glumly.

A smile tugged at the corners of Lemmy's mouth. "You and you alone, kid. Can you honestly say the same for our older siblings... our father?"

"Lemmy, don't you have any Koopa pride?"

He almost laughed in the youngest Koopaling's face. "Excuse me, Koopa _what?"_

"'Koop Strong, Koop Fast, Koop Smart, Koop Proud'. Our family motto!"

"That motto is the biggest load of Goomba shit I've ever heard."

"Is not!"

"Tell me, Little Brother... How 'Koop Smart' was it for us to capture just Princess Toadstool when Wendy was right there in the same hut?"

He blinked. "What?"

"We could've just taken them both at once and been done with it. All this business about luring Wendy and the plumbers here... it's the most mentally-deficient plan our father's ever concocted."

"Don't say stuff like that!"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"It's... it's disrespectful!"

This time, Lemmy did laugh. "King Bowser Koopa's sole ambition in this life is to rule the Mushroom Kingdom and to capture its illustrious monarch. He's failed in this endeavor again and again. The one other thing in his life of any importance to him is the liquor he cries into every time something doesn't go his way, which, as previously stated, is quite often. He's an overgrown infant, and that earns no respect from me. None whatsoever."

"How can you say this about King Dad? He loves us!"

He stared evenly at his younger sibling, standing there with that wounded look etched into his features, for a long moment. Then he pointed to the back of his right forearm.

"See this scar, Ig? And these smaller scars around it?"

"Yeah, so what? You've always had those."

"But I never told you _why,_ did I?"

Iggy started to speak, then just shook his head.

"When I was the tender age of seven, I asked our loving 'pop' if I could have a bicycle. He said, 'Not now, I'm busy.' He was going over another of his superfluous plans to conquer the world." He paused before continuing. "I persisted. There was nothing I wanted more in all the world than a bike at the time. King Dad, rather than trying to talk to his son, threw a beer bottle at me... and he got what he wanted. I left him alone."

The horror in Iggy's face should have been more stark. Instead, it was mostly sad; the sadness of somebody who already believes the atrocity they've just heard because they've seen similar wrongdoing again and again. "That's... that's not true, is it?"

"Come on, Ig, don't be a fool. Can you actually count the number of times he's inflicted pain on his own children?"

No response.

"On just you, then?"

Nothing.

"Don't talk to me about love, about 'Koopa Pride'. Bah! I have nothing but 'Koopa Shame'. I'm sick of belonging to this family of despots, sick of living with that addle-brained selfish dictator-wannabe. He's already poisoned the minds of most of his children. I have to get away from this before I become infected... or kill myself."

"This d-doesn't sound like you, Lemmy."

"That's because I've learned to keep my mouth shut. A lesson I learned from a shattering bottle."

"Wh... then why are you saying all this now?"

Lemmy Koopa considered this. "I suppose... it's our sister. Seeing her go up against our father, escaping – and succeeding. That showed me just how cravenly I've been acting all these years. It was the incentive I needed."

Iggy's tone took on an edge of panic. "B-but you can't go! I don't want you to!"

"We don't always get what we want. Otherwise, I'd have a ten-speed to escape on." Lemmy raised his head, looking at his brother's dumbfounded expression. "You don't have to stay, either. You could join me."

"Wh-_what?"_

"Don't you desire to see more than the inside of dreary fortresses? Flee this miserable existence, brother. Come and taste freedom!"

"You're acting crazy!"

"I've been _acting_ for seventeen years! Acting like everything was hunky-dory while I removed brown glass from my skin! Acting like it didn't matter when I've been struck in the head so hard I saw spots for an hour! I'm _through_ with the _charade!"_

He didn't realize he'd been shouting until after he was finished. A frightened look was fixed on Iggy's face, and he'd stepped back an inch or two.

"Ig," he said, quietly and controlled, "you said it yourself. I'm acting crazy. This life, it's driving me mad. I have to get out before I snap completely." Iggy nodded. "Are you coming with me?"

"B-but..."

"Look, I know it's not gonna be easy. This family, the life our so-called father has shaped for us... it's all you've ever known, and leaving that is frightening. But you have to trust me." He placed a hand on his brother's shoulder reassuringly. "Anxiety also plagues my soul. But I can't let a few whispers of doubt bar my path. This is something I must do."

Iggy nodded, voice quavering as he whispered, "Maybe it is time for a... vacation."

"Are you sure? Once you leave, there can be no turning back, no changing your mind."

"Yeah. It'll be like an adventure!"

Lemmy smiled and pounded Iggy on the back. "That's the spirit."

"Okay... but how do we sneak out without getting caught?"

"Leave that to me," he said with a wicked grin. "But first I'll need those keys you've been carrying."

-o-o-o-o-

The kitchen in the Neon Castle was bustling with activity. The sinks were overflowing with dishes from a four-course dinner for seven, and the Shyguys were working feverishly to cleanse them for breakfast the following morning. They didn't notice when the door opened, or when the cloaked figure slipped inside. However, the head chef heard the gargantuan refrigerator door squeak on its hinges, and went over to investigate.

_"Heiho!"_

The boy in the cloak bumped his head on a shelf, then rose up slowly, rubbing the bump. "Oh, hi, Lars," Iggy said.

"Heiho?"

"I just, uh... wanted a snack."

The Shyguy raised a tiny arm and tugged on Iggy's brown robes. "...Heiho?"

"Oh, this? I'm uh... studying to be a Jedi Knight!" He performed a few fencing moves with the turkey leg he was holding.

"Hei...ho?" Lars scratched his head, adjusted his mask, and returned to surveying his workers. He didn't notice Iggy nearly clean out the pantry and the fridge before leaving, a pair of large sacks slung over his back.

-o-o-o-o-

Lemmy tapped his foot, staring up at the twinkling stars. "I told him to be quick about it!"

"Do you think he got lost?"

"No, of course not. I told him exactly where the secret entrance is. He should be here by now, it makes no sense."

"Maybe- wait, is that him?"

"Yes," he said with a sigh of relief, waving to his brother.

"Lemmy!" He panted as he ran up, plopping the bulging sacks of provisions down. "Sorry... but Lars hassled me, and... and I told him..." Iggy broke off in mid-pant, looking curiously at the other cloaked figure. "Who...?"

"Who else, Ig?" he said as the figure lowered her hood.

_"You!"_

"Yes, me," Princess Toadstool said, shaking out her long red locks.

"B-but-but-but _why?"_

"She cleverly tricked me into setting her free when I brought her a Mimosa," Lemmy said, dripping with sarcasm. "Seriously, Ig, I couldn't just leave her rotting in there, could I?"

"I... I guess," he replied skeptically.

"Iggy," Peach said gently, "I don't bite. I assure you, I bear no malice toward you or your brother here... and your sister is the sweetest person I've ever met. All I want is to get back to my kingdom and my people. They need me."

Iggy looked up at his brother, the hurt of betrayal creeping into his voice. "So all this is just to break her out, is that it?"

"No. I don't plan on ever returning to the Neon Castle... or to the Keep back in our world, for that matter. I'm seceding, once and for all." He again placed his hand on the youngest Koopa's shoulder. "As I said before."

"But she's a... y'know... _human!" _He said the last word under his breath, as if it were profanity he was afraid he'd get punished for using.

"Humans are people, too, Ig. For the brief time I traveled with her in search of our sister, she showed me compassion and understanding that I have rarely seen within our family tree." He glanced over at her, and she smiled back. "Peach has a warm, good heart, and it is an honor to know such a person."

"Ewwww," Iggy drawled, making a disgusted face. "She's your_ girlfriend!"_

Lemmy started. "Hold your tongue, child! You know not of what you speak!"

"Speaking of tongue, did you get any?"

_"I said shaddap, you geek!"_

Peach sighed and hefted the bags, trudging after the sounds of Iggy's laughter and Lemmy's threats. Even so, she couldn't suppress a giggle or two.

"Boys..."

-o-o-o-o-

A buzzing noise in his ear woke Mario. He blinked, swatted at whatever it was, then settled in to return to sleep. Alas, he never returned to slumberland, as a moment later someone was tapping his shoulder.

"Mario, I think you should get up now." It was Toad's voice.

"Hnn?" Wendy mumbled. He felt her stir, her head still resting in his lap.

"Leemme 'lone," Mario grumbled.

"I really think you oughtta get up, now."

"Ngg, why?"

"Because we're about to be lizard lunch, that's why!"

"Oh..." The plumber grudgingly pried his eyes open, and this time they focused. He was suddenly wide awake. "Wh-_ Holy Crapoli!"_

A herd of hungry-looking dinosaurs were surrounding them in the early morning sunlight. They were all violet except for the orange underbellies, with small bat-like wings and a dangerous-looking horn on the end of their snouts. And they were a head taller than the average Yoshi.

"Uh... Wendy, get up, we've got trouble!"

The Koopa's head raised up, blue eyes still hazed over with sleep. "Trouble? What d- _eeek!"_

They both jumped to their feet, backing hastily against the tree trunk. Off to Mario's left, he saw Luigi was already up, looking from dino to dino and trying to plan his attack.

"Think we can stomp 'em, Mario?"

"Just look out for that horn," he replied. "Let's do it!"

The Mario Bros. launched into the air, jumping from head to head and carefully avoiding that lethal-looking spike on each dino's snout. Gradually becoming wise to what was going on, they began trying to escape from under the descending boots, but the plumbers were too experienced in baddie-stomping. Soon, they'd flattened every lizard in sight (save our lovely Koopette).

"Well, that's that," Luigi said, stretching.

"Felt kinda good," Mario remarked.

"Uh... guys?" Toad squeaked.

"What?"

When Mario looked up, he saw that 'that' certainly wasn't 'that'. The heads of their attackers were still squashed inward, but they weren't quite through causing trouble. Their eyes were now glowing red, and in a matter of moments they began running around much faster than before, steam flowing from their nostrils.

"Scandalous scallopini, what _are_ these things?" Luigi exclaimed.

He and Mario once again tried to stomp them, but missed their targets; they were too quick, and their patterns of movement too erratic. In desperation, Mario pulled out a Fire Flower and started blasting at them, but he only hit one or two. Wendy had climbed the tree and was throwing fruit, but it didn't seem to faze them.

"Toad, will you quit screwin' around and help us?" Mario shouted, but there was no answer. "Toad?"

"Did they get him?" Luigi hollered.

"No," Wendy exclaimed, "look!"

Suddenly, long red tongues were encircling groups of the purple lizards. They tried to flee, but to no avail; each was yanked into the waiting maws of three famished dinosaurs.

_"Yeehaw!"_ Toad cried as the trio rushed around in a blur of red, blue and green. There was another blur sitting atop the red one, which was the short-statured 'shroom who had gone for backup. By the time our plumbers had blinked twice, there was nothing left of their attackers, and the Yoshis were lounging on the grass, belching at intervals.

Mario scratched the back of his neck. "Well, uhh, don't I feel useless."

"Aww," Wendy said as she hopped down from the tree trunk. "You're still _my_ hero." She threw her arms around him and gave him a big showy kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, stop," he grunted. "You're getting Yoshi juice all over my shirt."

"Like there wasn't already juice all over you from earlier." When Toad snickered, she called over her shoulder, "Mind outta the gutter, Toady!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you- _watch out!"_

Mario grabbed Wendy around the waist and make a quick leap, landing on something that was speeding through the air. "What the heck?" When he looked down, he was surprised to see a Troopa with no shell. It shook its fist at him, then scurried off.

"How rude," Wendy panted, but Mario was otherwise occupied. Something was fluttering down slowly toward him.

"What is that, a feather?" He reached out and grasped it. Suddenly there was a flash, a pop, and a puff of smoke. Wendy backed up slowly.

"M-Mario?"

As the smoke dissipated, she, Toad and Luigi gaped. The feather was now sticking out of his cap, and a yellow cape was billowing behind him.

"What the fungus?" Toad breathed.

-o-o-o-o-

"Well?" All of the Troopas shook their heads. _"RRAGH!"_ Bowser roared, pounding the armrests of his throne, destroying them. "Incompetents!"

The captain shrugged. "S-sorry, but they're not here, s-sir!"

Again King Koopa roared, this time blasting a ball of fire at the captain. Too surprised to dodge, it incinerated him, leaving nothing but a shell spinning in a pile of ash. "You!" Bowser growled. "Paratroopa!"

A winged turtle stepped forward. "Y-y-yes, sir?"

"You just got promoted, captain! Now find the princess and those brats of mine, or your fate will be the same as the last three captains!"

"Y-yes, s-sir!" With that, he fluttered out of the throne room, his nervous troop following close behind.

"I'm surrounded by _morons!_" the tyrant thundered.

"Now, now, father," Morton said soothingly. "Remember your blood pressure..."

"How can I forget? It's _boiling!"_

"I confess myself mystified," Ludwig said while pacing. "Peach has made her exodus, but without a hint of force? And she's abducted our two youngest! Quite the one-woman show, isn't she?"

"Something doesn't smell right, here," Larry muttered.

"Then switch deodorant," Morton quipped.

"Bite me, Big Mouth." He also began pacing, the two blue-haired brothers forming concentric circles. "It's ridiculous to think she did all that alone. We've captured her before, and she's never escaped."

"Perhaps she's grown wiser," Morton said. "Adapting, preparing, learning from past mistakes, expanding her-"

"Put a cork in it!" Larry sat down again. "I don't think so. I think she had help." He glared around the room.

"What, from one of us?" Ludwig laughed. "Absurd. Your musings grow more inane with each passing millisecond."

"Fess up!"

Ludwig crossed his arms. "Even if I were the perpetrator, just when exactly did I launch my glorious scheme? I've been humiliating you at chess since breakfast."

"What about _before_ breakfast?"

"I was humiliating Morton at Trivial Pursuit."

"Cop to it, you traitor!"

_"Shut up!"_ King Koopa bellowed. "I'm not in the mood for your bickering! Go to your rooms!"

"But King Dad-"

_"GO!"_

They knew when not to argue with him. The three Koopalings glanced at each other, then scurried out.

"I don't know how you did it, Peach," he growled out as he knocked over one of the statues with a fierce sweep of his arm, "but I'll get you back if I have to tear this world apart!"

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: I bet you're wondering why I picked Lemmy to be older than Iggy, when ingame it's exactly the opposite. That decision was based on their namesakes; Lemmy Kilmister and Wendy O. Williams, the infamous rock stars of yesteryear. They actually recorded an EP together, so I thought it'd be appropriate if those were the two most important Koopas in my fic. Otherwise it would be Iggy as the older, wiser brother and Lemmy as the wide-eyed kid. Besides, I just like the name "Lemmy". Something about the way it sounds...

And now you'll be getting alerts, since technically this is Chapter 8 now (even though in the original draft it was the latter half of 6 and first half of 7). I promise, no more years of procrastinating between chapters! It's all going down and it's going down right now!


	9. Super Capes 'N Ghosts

CAUTION: If you are one of my "alumni" who first read this story years and years ago and got here thanks to Story Alert, you should know that the first seven (now eight-and-a-half) chapters have been completely rewritten and brand new scenes added. Based on that, you might want to refresh before I get around to posting the new stuff.

* * *

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 9: Super Capes 'N Ghosts

"So what do you think it does, Mario?"

The plumber being questioned toyed with the knot of yellow fabric around his neck. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"It looks spiffy enough," Toad commented.

"Kinda heavy." He reached back and grabbed the hem, took hold of it with both hands and jerked hard; it held fast. "Strong stuff. Wonder what it's made of...?"

"Uh-oh," Mario's Yoshi said, his voice quivering. They looked up, but their eyes were not greeted with a pleasant sight.

"Whoa _baby,"_ Wendy breathed.

Rising several stories above them was a rather imposing mansion. All the bricks were the darkest gray, and even the wood was almost black - and rotten in places. A thick haze hung about the place, and everything nearby seemed to darken a shade or two simply from being in close proximity.

"Spooky," Luigi said.

"Ditto," Toad squeaked. "What's a ritzy place like this even doing in Dinosaur World, much less one so old? Nope, I sure don't like the look of it."

"M-Mario," Wendy whispered, clutching his arm, "what do we do now?"

"Well... can we just... go around?"

Luigi craned his neck this way and that. "Those tree trunks look pretty closely-packed. I don't think we'd make it far if we tried. And God knows what we'd find living out there!"

"Then I guess," Mario said, taking a deep breath, "the way out is through."

He could feel Yoshi trembling beneath him. "No, no, no! Bad place, Yoshis no like scary!"

"Oh, c'mon, it's only-"

_"NO!"_ Before our travelers knew what was happening, the three miniature t-rexes dumped their riders on the ground, then took off in the opposite direction from the house.

"Hmph," Toad snorted. "So much for our trusty steeds!"

Mario sighed. "Guess we're on our own, now."

Warily, the travelers pushed open the rickety doors and walked inside. The smell of mold clogged the sinuses. It was dank, putrid, and everything had a thick coating of dust. Scattered throughout, old furniture stood draped with white sheets, long forgotten. Paintings of people no one would ever recognize again hung crooked on the walls. It would've been eerie had it been quiet; but the strange, unexplainable noises were far worse.

"Am I the only one creeped out, here?" Wendy whispered.

"Shh," Mario said soothingly. "It's just an old house." They were climbing a staircase at the end of the long hall, when they heard a door slam. "Eh?"

"I'm beginning to hate this place," Toad mumbled.

Suddenly, with no forewarning, a ghost appeared at the top of the steps. Its round body drifted first to the left, then to the right; then it opened its mouth to reveal several sharp fangs. As it cackled and dived for them, it was flanked by two others.

Wendy screamed. Toad tumbled backward down the stairs. Luigi hit the dirt, the spectres passing harmlessly over his head. Mario, after an agonizing moment of shock, scooped Wendy up and ran down the stairs.

"MARIO!" Luigi shouted after the rapidly receding form of his brother. Toad scrambled up to where the taller plumber was sitting.

_"Omigodwhatthehellarewegonnado?"_ he blathered.

A pair of ghosts appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Luigi looked past them to see what had happened to Mario, but there was no sign of him in the haze. "So much for the inseparable Mario Brothers."

-o-o-o-o-

"Look out, they're gaining!"

The red-hatted plumber was sprinting as fast as his legs could manage, but he wasn't used to the added weight of another person. Swallowing a few more gulps of air, he croaked, "Crap, there's one blocking the door! Okay, I'm gonna try to jump over it. Hang on!"

"Okay!" Uttering a silent prayer, Wendy wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the worst.

_"HUP!"_ he said as he leapt up...

And up...

And up...

Wendy opened her eyes. Her hair was fluttering in her face, and the ground was dropping further away with each passing second.

"Mario... are we... flying?"

-o-o-o-o-

"We've been walking in circles for _hours._"

"Maybe not," Lemmy reasoned as he swatted at a mosquito the size of a baseball. "But... you're probably right. If only there were maps of this prehistoric maze..."

The three of them sagged heavily against a tree. The going had been tough, allright – across the Chocolate Island and into a dense forest. Signposts were everywhere, but they all said the same thing: "THIS WAY". They also pointed in conflicting directions.

"Some vacation," Iggy grumbled, taking off his glasses and wiping sweat from his eyes. "I'd rather be pounded on by Cheatsy."

"Yeah?" Lemmy asked pointedly.

"Well... maybe not." He replaced the spectacles and looked around at the foreboding woods. "But this still sucks."

"I wish I could disagree," Peach rasped, fanning herself with a large leaf she had scooped up from the forest floor. Even though she had long ago divested herself of the sweaty cloak, the safari outfit Lemmy had reclaimed for her still didn't seem to breathe enough to cool her down. "But I'm sure we'll find our way. Perseverance, my dear Koopas!"

Iggy eyed her uncomfortably, which had the impossible effect of making Lemmy feel yet wearier. He worried that his little brother would look at her that way forever; he hadn't said a word to her since they left the Neon Castle, and that had been days prior.

"Lemmy," Peach said suddenly, "there's something that's been drifting around the back of my mind for a while now..."

"What is it?"

She slid down to the forest floor, resting an arm against her raised knee. "The Neon Castle... where did it come from?"

"I... don't know what you mean. Our illustrious family built it ages ago."

Her eyes widened. "The Koopas have been here before?"

"Yes. Long before I or my siblings were a reality." He plopped down beside her, and Iggy sat cross-legged in front of them. "From the sketchy details I've picked up here and there, Father forsook conquest on this world because he lost interest. Your kingdom has always been the apple of his eye."

She nodded glumly. "That, I'm all too aware of."

Lemmy chuckled ruefully. "Guess he has been at your doorstep far too often, hasn't he?"

"I don't mind the _attention,_ per se... if his only goal were to open an electronics boutique there instead of enslaving the inhabitants and turning me into his concubine." She glanced over at Lemmy, and suddenly the bags under her eyes looked yet darker. "Why must we be at war every day for the rest of our lives? There has to be a way for us to come to a truce."

"A Toadstool-Koopa alliance isn't such a horrible thought. Too bad 'Daddy' would never stand for it. I fear he's too set in his ways, now; he thinks the 'shrooms and humans are lesser life forms, so it's his responsibility to subjugate them. The sad part is, I'd have agreed a month or so ago."

"But always the fighting! If he could just realize it's in vain, that I'll never just hand over my kingdom like it were a stick of chewing gum..."

"His greed knows no bounds."

"Would you two shut up?"

They both glanced up at Iggy, shocked at the edge in his voice. "Ig-"

"You're talking about King Dad like he's pure evil. I can't stand it."

"C'mon, Iggy, we went over this. Our genitor is an obsessive old codger, hell-bent on owning everything in sight. He doesn't think anyone else has the right to property."

"But-"

"Iggy," Peach began softly, "I know you don't think much of me, but the sole purpose of my entire life has been ensuring my subjects are all treated fairly. From my standpoint, allowing your father to rule with an iron claw would be letting them down in the worst way possible. It's difficult to speak well of the man who would ruin everything I hold dear if given the opportunity."

"I know, but... look, it still hurts, okay?"

She watched him for a few moments, staring hard at the dirt as if daring it to speak, then sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry; that was insensitive of me. He's going to continue being your family whatever my feelings on the subject. I'll try and watch that in the future, okay?"

"Let's get moving," Lemmy grunted as he stood, stretching. "There's got to be a way out of these damned trees." But as they departed, he added, "Iggy... a word?"

"I can take a hint," the princess gusted, purposefully falling behind her fellow travelers by several yards.

"What is it, Bro?" the younger Koopaling hissed once she was out of earshot.

"I want you to cut that out, Ig."

"What do you mean?"

"You're treating Princess Toadstool like she doesn't deserve to be alive. I won't have it."

"But she's a _human!_ She's not even a mushroom, and she thinks she's got the right to rule Mushroom Kingdom! At least King Dad was born there!"

"So was the princess." Lemmy was glaring hard at his brother as they walked. "Her family has ruled for countless generations. Who knows exactly when they stumbled upon our Warp Zone?"

"But-"

Lemmy silenced the youngster with a sharp gesture. "Look, I get where you're coming from; they're different from us. Softer, not so 'Koopa'. It's weird, but what if that's not such a bad thing? They're less antagonistic than our relatives, and they show genuine compassion. It's something I could sure get used to. You should at least give her a chance. She's been bending over backward to show you kindness, so why are you shutting her out?"

Iggy shrugged weakly. "I... I can't help it. She's the enemy, always has been."

"Not anymore. I'm not saying you should start calling her 'Cousin Peachy', but could you at least respond when she speaks to you? Can you handle that much?"

"But... oh, allright. I'll try. But I don't like my arm being twisted like this."

Lemmy nearly wilted with relief. "Good man. The journey might not be so tedious if we can all stand each other, right?"

"Gentlemen..."

They glanced back at Peach, whom had stopped in her tracks to stare up at the structure looming in front of them. Having been too absorbed in their conversation, they now followed her gaze and saw it for the first time.

"Oh, look," Lemmy lamented. "A fortress."

-o-o-o-o-

"_AAAIIIGH!"_

Luigi grabbed Toad by the collar of his vest and jerked him through the door, slamming it behind them. He realized the poltergeists could probably pass right through it, but it was all he could think of to do.

"L-L-L-" Obviously, Toad was trying to spit out the word "Luigi", but when the gangly plumber turned around, he saw why his diminutive companion stuttered.

Sprawled in the middle of the once-grand parlor was the skeleton of an elderly man, judging by the long beard. His left hand was clutching a flashlight, and the right some sort of nozzle. The two of them walked over to investigate, and found the nozzle was attached to a canister.

"Poor guy bit the big one while housekeeping," Luigi muttered, removing his cap and holding it over his heart.

"There's a sticker on this vac," Toad said, squinting. "The top half's gone, but the bottom says 'three-thousand'."

"Toad, have some reverence for the dead! Who cares what kinda Hoover the-"

"I know, I know," he said, prying the flashlight from bony fingers. "But being in a continuous state of panic makes me a little psycho. Maybe this still works..."

"I doubt it," Luigi muttered, replacing his hat and stooping to look the man's remains over. "Who knows how old those batteries are?"

"Not old enough!" Triumphantly, he shone the beam around the room.

"I'll be." The plumber gingerly picked up the vacuum and nozzle. "Wonder if this thing has the same kinda everlasting juice, too?"

Toad jumped when the contraption rumbled to life, stirring the thick layer of dust that touched everything in the room. "Luigi, don't _do_ that to-"

They both heard the eerie screech and whirled to see a specter bearing down on them. Just as Toad screamed, the beam of his flashlight hit it full in the face, causing the ghost to cringe. Before either of them could make heads or tails of that, they noticed it was beginning to drift toward Luigi.

"Look out, Weege!" Toad squeaked, but a few seconds later the ghost was gone.

"Wh-what happened?" Luigi shouted.

"Turn that damn thing off!" Toad bellowed. The plumber realized the vacuum was still on, grimaced, and flipped the switch on the nozzle. "Dude... you sucked it up!"

"Come again?" Luigi said, coughing from the dust.

"Your sweeper eats ghosts!" Toad cried, gesturing to the vacuum. "That's awesome!"

Luigi dropped it as if it were a hot potato.

"What are you doing?" Toad stalked over and pointed at it again. "Have you lost your freakin' mind? That thing's our ticket outta this maniacal mansion!"

Luigi considered the foreboding machine on the rug between them for a long moment before shrugging. "What have we got to lose? I mean, besides life and limb." He stooped over, hefted the machine, then turned to the Mushroom. "Ready, Venkman?"

"Wha?"

"Oy vey, I have _got _to bring you back an Earth Land movie collection..."

-o-o-o-o-

"I hate to even consider it, but... I gotta go back."

Wendy nodded, frowning at the grass under her boot soles. "I understand."

"It's been too long. We got out that window almost an hour ago. They could be in trouble."

"Okay, fine. If we're gonna go, then let's go."

Mario blinked, then started shaking his head as his hand distractedly fumbled with the yellow knot around his neck. "Oh, no ya don't, Wonder Wendy. You're staying put."

The reptilian girl rolled her eyes. "Please. Are you stoned or something? I'm going with you, end of story."

"I can't let you risk your tail in there again!"

"And I'm supposed to let you go in by yourself?" She put her hands on her hips and widened her feet to take up a stronger stance, eyes flashing. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were slipping into some misogynistic ideals."

"Hey, I just mean, well... he's my brother. It's my duty to make sure he's okay. You shouldn't have to put your life on the line, too."

"I go where you go," she told him quietly, firmly, gripping his forearm. "That's all there is to it, Mr. Mario. The last thing I want at this point is to let you out of my sight."

"Why?" Mario placed a hand at her cheek, frowning at how adorable she was and how much that infuriated him... because he felt so compelled to protect her that he was beginning to suspect himself of smothering her with worry. "I'll be fine. It's you I want to make sure is safe. So why come along?"

"You really gotta ask? It's because... because you would go in alone. _That's_ why. That's the answer to all the 'whys', you dipshit."

"But Wen-"

Soft, smooth lips were crushing up and onto his, cutting off any further argument. Could this really be happening? Was Wendy O. Koopa _kissing _him? Mario felt sweat beading on his forehead as his capability to deal with more surprises broke in half. What was this about? Had all the stress taken such a toll on the poor girl that her brain had snapped like a dry and brittle twig?

When she pulled back an inch, her sweet breath hot on his lips, he had just enough time to whisper "Mama _Mia" _before she was kissing him again. The clawed hand on his arm felt down and found his fingers, locking with them as her other hand moved behind his neck. He could hear his pulse thudding behind his ears, feel only layers of cloth between their bodies as she leaned into him with more and more pressure, hear the slight squeak in the back of her throat – a sound containing both fear and excitement in equal amounts. When his hand came to rest on the base of her tail, she made no move to dissuade him. And again there was the scent, such a heady aroma that rose from her hair and body in waves, that clung to him and climbed inside his heart...

As he was forming a thought to turn into some kind of reaction, the moment was abruptly over; it took him a few seconds to realize he was being dragged toward the haunted old house.

"H-hey!"

"Let's go find Luigi and Toad!" she called back brightly. In the brief moment she glanced over her shoulder at him, he saw her entire face was beet red, and a terror-stricken grin was resisting all her most powerful efforts to kill it.

Maybe he still couldn't figure out just what exactly had happened... but a part of him already suspected it was something he could grow to enjoy. A lot.

Unfortunately, that was where his romantic musings ended. After that, they were too preoccupied with watching the lost companions in question barrel out the back door of the mansion, huffing and puffing. "Merciful macaroni!" Luigi cried out, falling to his knees and dropping what looked like a vacuum cleaner. "That King Boo almost had us!"

"Oh thank GOD, Brother Mio!" Mario walked over and pulled the man to his feet, pounding him on the back. "We were just about to send in reinforcements!"

"Next time, let's just cut down the friggin' trees," Toad growled, chucking his flashlight at a nearby cluster of shrubbery.

"_HNNGH!"_

They all stopped dead. "What was that?" Luigi breathed.

"I think I hit somebody," Toad hissed.

"A spy?" Wendy whispered.

"Only one way to find out." Mario took three quick steps and yanked the brush aside, revealing...

A Paratroopa.

"Seriously?" Luigi said in a deadpan.

Toad nodded. "Yeah. I was expecting the big Koopahuna himself back there after all that suspenseful build-up."

"Well, I for one am thankful it wasn't," Mario grunted, yanking the half-conscious turtle forward. "Hey! Shell-brain, wake up!"

"No need to be offensive," Wendy admonished. "There are other carapacial beings present."

"Sorry, Wen."

"Unhh..." The Troopa took one look around, gasped, and began trying to scrabble backward – but Mario and Luigi had one arm apiece. There would be nothing doing. "Please let me go! Aw, come on, guys, don't kill me!"

"Who do you think I am, Wario?" Mario blustered. "You're not gonna get ganked! Take a chill pill!"

Luigi adopted a calming tone of voice. "Listen. Just tell us who or what you're spying on. Bowser's got you out here slinking around for a reason, doesn't he?"

"Maybe!" the nervous tortoise hedged. "What's it to ya?"

"You like keeping your eyeballs?" Wendy snarled, claws flashing an inch from the Troopa's face.

"Okay, okay, I'll talk!" After taking a few heaving breaths, he lowered his voice to a whisper and said, "So they're gonna kill me for squealing, but King Schitzo wants to know where you are, and w-why Kootie Pie's still with you, how she's being treated, st- stuff like that! Anything good is worth being promoted, maybe more!"

Mario nodded miserably. "Nothing new there. Next question: where's Princess Toadstool? In another castle?"

"That line sounds vaguely familiar," Toad whispered to himself.

"They got her in the Neon Castle dungeons. Although..." And then a look of true horror crossed his features when the Troopa realized he was volunteering information they hadn't asked about.

"Tell us, and not only will you get to keep your eyeballs, but all of your limbs, too!"

The poor Troopa took one look at the dark gleam in Wendy's eyes and let out a shaky laugh. "You g-guys sure know how to sw- to sweeten the pot! Okay. Well, there's this rumor going around in the Troopa barracks..."

-o-o-o-o-

"I've never come so close to being crushed, sawed in half and incinerated so many times in one afternoon! Lord Above, _why_ does Bowser feel the need build such things?"

Lemmy nodded. It was all he could do; he was too exhausted to speak.

"I wanna go home," Iggy whined.

"I'm sorry, both of you," Peach bleated, clutching her side as they stumbled around gnarled tree roots and tried to avoid any snakes that might have been lurking in the wild grass. "This is all because of me. Maybe you did want to secede from the Koopa Klan, but I was the impetus for the timing. If you'd run away from the Keep in the Mushroom Kingdom, you'd be fleeing through a much tamer landscape than this."

"Shush," Lemmy told her as he sagged against a tree stump, no longer able to go on. It had mostly fallen to him to dispatch the enemies in the fortress, and he was in sorry shape by the end. Peach had done her part when she might, and Iggy had fended off any surprise attacks from the rear, but being a monarch more accustomed to sending her men to battle rather than fighting herself had not prepared the princess quite enough for such a melee. "All... very moot."

"Too late to say you're sorry," Iggy agreed.

"Not what I meant," Lemmy said with a glare at his brother. But then he was flopping backward, chest rising and falling as he attempted to oxygenate his body.

"Here," Peach whispered, rifling through Iggy's bag and coming up with a canteen. "I'll find us some water. There has to be a stream around here somewh-"

"_NO!"_

Both Iggy and Peach jumped at the ferocity of the outburst. After a few more seconds, Lemmy took a few slower breaths and managed to say, "No. Don't... don't run off by yourself. You'll get... eaten alive. Crazy fauna out here."

The princess frowned at him. "But you're about to dehydrate. You need water in a bad, bad way. It's what happens when you almost get broiled alive by fire-breathing dinosaurs."

"There's a trick King Dad oughtta teach us," Iggy groused. "When's he gonna get around to that one, huh? We could have been fighting fire with fire."

"Never, Iggy," Lemmy sighed. "He doesn't... care if we know how." Then he tried to swallow several times, and finally had to admit defeat.

"You need water or you're going to die," Peach whispered, salty moisture gouging tiny tracks through the grime on her cheeks. "I have to go."

Now both Koopa boys were staring up at her. After a long moment, Iggy whispered with a hitch in his voice, "You're crying."

"Am I?" she asked, surprised, but still too absorbed with Lemmy's plight to pay it much heed.

"You're crying for my brother. I... I'm... I'll go get the water. You stay here and guard him."

"Not you either, Ig," Lemmy grunted, pushing up to his elbow. "Nobody's... none of you are going off alone."

"We can't leave you here defenseless, either," Peach pleaded with him, hands shaking. "And I guess Iggy's better off on his own than I would be. At least his shell has spikes."

Lemmy grinned. "Selling... yourself short, Majesty. But I sure do... miss my gun."

Without asking again, Iggy charged off into the brush, clutching the canteen as if it were encrusted with precious stones.

"Come on," Peach hissed angrily, pulling Lemmy's head into her lap as she swung her head to and fro, hoping to spot something nearby that would be of use. No such luck. "Come on, just... keep it together long enough and your brother will find a stream."

"Hah," he whispered. Now that he was close enough and could talk softly, he was able to form longer sentences without tiring himself out. "That runt... he always did have a... lousy sense of direction. But I'm too... too weak to stop..."

"Hush, now," she bade, stroking his hair. "Rest. The more you try to talk, the more you'll use up the energy you've got left."

Lemmy reached up a hand and grasped hers. "I hope... you never have to cry... over me again."

For several long minutes, the forest was silent save for Peach's occasional "Don't give out on me" that she uttered without thinking. Insects buzzed, winged creatures keened far overhead. She was rocking back and forth when he spoke again.

"What was that?" she asked, bending lower.

"You might... have to leave me here."

"I will not!" Her throat worked for a moment, and she was dismayed to find she was a bit parched herself. "Hey, don't start talking like that. You've got a sister to be reunited with. Giving up now is-"

"Is my only option, Your Majesty."

"Don't call me that."

"I know, it makes you feel old. But..." He struggled for a moment. "But you're so majestic that it... that it suits you..."

"Hush," she told him again, shivering when she noticed how unfocused his normally-sharp eyes were. "Lemmy, come on! Lemmy?"

Just then, Iggy burst back into the clearing, his sack bulging. "Look! I... okay, I didn't find any water, and it took me forever to figure out where you guys were again, but I did get something."

"Thank God!" she blubbered. "What is it?"

"I'm not really sure," he admitted, withdrawing several humongous apples. "But they're super juicy. I figure, maybe it'll be enough to get my bro on his feet until we can hunt down a creek."

Nodding, she took the first one he'd offered, broke it in half and squeezed the juice into Lemmy's open mouth. His tongue just barely moved to coax it downward. By the time she had gone through two and a half of them, he began to respond a little bit more.

"That's it," she told him encouragingly when he reached up and cupped the fruit himself, tearing into it with his teeth. "Eat it all, the sugar might jump-start your system."

When he'd had his fill, both Iggy and Peach partook of one apiece, and there were still four left in the sack. Lemmy's breathing had leveled off and came without burden now, but he was also fast asleep.

"Looks like we're not going anywhere tonight," Iggy shrugged. "What do we do?"

"You're asking me?" Peach laughed. "I'm way out of my depth."

"I am asking you. Because... because you're a grown-up. I'm too afraid to come up with a plan."

Peach peered sidelong at the youngest Koopa, but his eyes were only for the one whose head was in her lap. "Iggy... well, I... okay." She took a deep breath, trying to shift herself back into monarch mode. "Let's just camp right where we are. We don't have tents, anyway. Do you think you can stay awake for a couple of hours?"

"Not right now," he yawned, stretching. "Funny... I don't know how I could possibly sleep, but my eyes don't seem to wanna listen to my scaredy-brain; they keep closin' on me..."

"Then I'll take first watch. When I can't stay awake anymore, I'll wake you up. Then, if you need some more sleep, you can wake me up again. Hopefully by morning, Lemmy will be right as rain."

"Okay," Iggy mumbled as he curled up right where he was, head resting on the sack of Yoshi fruit, and passed out instantly.

"Terrific," she sighed to no one in particular as she continued running her hand through Lemmy's mohawk and gazing at the forest canopy. It was going to be a long, lonely few hours...

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: Yep! Here's where the new material starts kicking in, about a quarter of the way into this chapter. To be honest, I had some of the "new" stuff already written when I stopped before, just not enough for a whole installment. I got the dreaded writer's block right after Mario and Wendy's first kiss, haha. But I still had some notes on what I wanted to do for the rest of the story to guide me, so I am doing my very best to recapture the same mindset and emotions I was juggling when I first started Mysterious Scent. Let me know how I'm doing!

Next chapter will have some, uh, steamy scenes that younger viewers and those who are easily flustered might want to avoid. If you're one of these people, skip ahead to #11.


	10. Territorial Kissings

WARNING! WARNING! Situations ahead that are probably **not** appropriate for minors. Reader discretion is advised. As I said at the end of Chapter 9, you can feel free to skip ahead to 11 without missing a whole lot if you'd rather not read the pseudo-smut.

* * *

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 10: Territorial Kissings

"Okay, Mario, here I am. What did you wanna talk about?"

The mustachioed plumber in question cast a wary glance at the campfire several yards away in the clearing. Toad and Luigi were roasting some animal they'd hunted on a makeshift spit (he wasn't sure he even wanted to know what it was), but it would be at least half an hour before it was ready to eat. The Troopa was tied up across the way. Their plan was to knock him unconscious just before leaving at dawn; that way they didn't need to actually mortally wound him, but they could still get a healthy head start before he woke up and tried to send up a flare to give away their position to the big cheese.

But those were just their broader troubles as a group. Now that they had stopped for the night, Mario knew there was a conversation to take care of before they went on gallivanting across Dinosaur World.

"Yeah, good," he told Wendy, nervously rubbing his hands on his thighs. He was wearing gloves, but the urge to wipe off his sweaty palms remained. "Have a seat."

"On what?"

He smiled tightly. "Right, right. Nothing to sit on. Sorry."

"Mario, are you okay?" she asked with no small amount of concern. "You're all jumpy."

"Yeah. I mean, I'm fine, even if I am jumpy. Sorry."

Now she snickered. "You keep apologizing to me, but I'm not sure why. What's the deal?"

He swallowed, messing with the knot of his cape again. Sometimes he didn't mind its presence, but other times it seemed to choke him. "Well... it's about... before Luigi and-"

"What, that little kiss?"

"Y-yeah. Dead on the money."

"Then I should be the one apologizing," she told him softly, a hint of shame creeping into her tone. "Y'know, if you didn't like it, because I know you didn't ask for it... I guess I just thought you wanted me to. So maybe I misread the signals. Please, I swear it wasn't supposed to be anything-"

"Oh, believe me, if anybody's missing signals around here, it's yours truly," he chuckled. "Remember, I haven't had a single date since I went down that fateful pipe to the Mushroom Kingdom – which was ten years ago, so I'm a little rusty. And I wasn't exactly Don Juan with the ladies before that!"

"Sure," she nodded as she absorbed the information. "Not that I have any clue who that is, but I think I get what you're saying... and I can relate. I mean, ten years ago I still thought boys were 'yucky', but... well, there really hasn't been anybody I could see myself with since then, either."

Mario nodded sadly. "Yeah. The only other Koopas around are your brothers, and even if you were, uh, amenable to that kinda thing, you hate them anyway."

Wendy made a horrified face at the thought of hooking up with a sibling, then shook it off. "Can I ask you... about you and, uh..."

"Hmm?"

"Why didn't you ever make a play for the princess?" she asked him in a rush, staring at her claws. "I mean, she was right there, and she's literally the only human female for miles. From where I'm standing, Peach is the total package: looks, body, noble disposition, the same species – and filthy, stinking rich. What held you back?"

That prompted a wistful smile from the blue-collar worker-turned-hero. "Honestly? Beats the hell outta me."

"You really don't have a reason?"

"When it's not right, it's not right," he said with a shrug. "I mean, don't get me wrong, Peach is a peach, but... sometimes I can look at a woman, and think they're beautiful and smart and all that stuff, but still not be interested beyond friendship. Or I _am _interested, but I can tell they wouldn't be." A quick bark of laughter escaped his throat. "That just makes me sound like I'm either secretly gay or a big coward."

"Nah, it doesn't. It makes you sound like you're not a brainless skirt-chaser. Nothing wrong with that." There was a long pause as they both idly looked around at the trees. "So... is that what you got me out here to tell me?"

"Huh?"

"That you look at me, and you think I'm a decent girl, but you can't see us together."

Mario gulped. "I... well, I don't know. Hadn't thought that far ahead; I'd only got as far as 'we need to talk about this'. I'd have to-"

"Because if you're thinking it's number two, that _I_ wouldn't be interested, then don't worry," she told him urgently, taking a hesitant step forward, voice barely audible over the evening sounds of wildlife and nature around them. "Let me put that misconception out of its misery here and now."

"Wendy," he breathed, so alarmed at her forthrightness that he backed into a tree. "I – _ow_ – I d-don't know what to- I mean, are you telling me-"

"I'm not telling you anything," she followed up, her own voice as uncertain as his. "Not outright, because I don't have the guts. Geez, d-do you realize you were my first kiss? How can I be expected to just, just... _ugh,_ this is totally bonkers, I don't know what I'm supposed to say!"

Mario stared at Wendy. Wendy stared at her bare feet. Her hair was a wild yellow-orange tangle from their harrowing journey, eyes bloodshot, pink-and-white skirt and baby-blue tank top frayed and tattered. Still she was lovely; he didn't know when his opinion had changed. Maybe it wasn't exactly a favorite memory, but he knew for sure he didn't think she was pretty at first sight. All the Koopas had been hideous monstrosities. Even when he saw the hood fall back in the Pipe Maze, he'd still flinched, wondered why he was pinning such a vile creature to the floor. But as they spent time together, as he moved beyond the fact that she was reptilian, he'd really taken a hard look at her features and seen the beauty there. The beauty of Kootie. Such fair, elegant structure, smooth, full lips, glittering blue eyes that sliced into his soul and took a piece of it away every time they met his own...

Add that to the fact that he'd never felt so comfortable around a person who wasn't family, and Mario had to admit to himself that they were no longer mere acquaintances.

And she'd just told him, in a roundabout way, that she was open to whatever he was ready for. With him, a wrench-wielding average Joe who was getting on in years – he didn't have anything to offer! But because she was young and inexperienced, that also meant she was only prepared to put herself out there so much. He had to step up a little. If their ages were reversed, he'd likely be the one stuttering and gazing down at his shoes, hoping for her to make a move.

Wendy took two quick steps forward and smooshed her body against his, pushing him up against the tree, hands on his shoulders and face in his neck. "J-just hold me," she said before he could question her. "For a minute. Then you can reject me, but not before that."

"Wendy-"

"Shh. We... I'm probably acting like a dumb blonde, because it's stupid to want to get closer before you push me away. But I need it right now. Am I insane or what?"

Against his better judgment, he wrapped his arms around her back, pressed his face into her hair. One deep breath and his head was swimming, but he forced himself to snap out of it, to not let her enticing scent influence his words. "I don't have an answer yet," he told her miserably. "Is... is that okay? Can we put this on hold?"

"That's the same as a rejection."

"Is it?"

"No," she admitted with a sigh, clutching his shirt more tightly. "But it sure feels like it."

"For the luvva... it's such a split, y'know? And there's no easy answer. Obviously I do like you, and any _guido_ who graduated from preschool could see we get along. The thing is, what if it doesn't work out? I couldn't stand to lose you; not after everything. On the other hand, what if I said 'no', and we cut ourselves off from something really incredible? That'd be a crying shame."

"Congratulations," she snorted. "You just described a 'decision', Mario. I hear they pop up now and again throughout life."

Mario frowned, but as he did so his hand went up to her neck and she let out a tiny sigh that was so perfect he nearly relented just from hearing it. Even so, he held fast. "I know, I know. Like I said, I'm a coward."

"At least you're not telling me you dig me just to get into my pants," she conceded. "It might be kind of frustrating right now, but in the long run I'd rather have you think it over, I guess."

Mario grinned, even though it was a sad grin. "Thanks, Wendy. For understanding. In return, I'll give you something – no, two things. Just so you don't feel so, uh... so kicked around."

Her cheek was rubbing against his neck as she whispered, "I don't feel kicked around, but go ahead."

"First, you are a hell of a kisser."

"Liar," she accused. "I've never done it before, how can I be an expert?"

"Natural gift? Far be it from me to question it, I'm just letting you know the score."

"Thanks, then." A quiet sniffle. "What's the second thing?"

"You smell amazing."

At that, she really did laugh. "Oh, right! After being stashed in that mildewy cave and braving the haunted house, I probably smell like a warm bag of Goomba sh-"

"Wendy, you have always smelled amazing. _Always._ At first I figured it was some pricey eau de toilette, but by now I know it's just you. If I let my nose decide for me, we'd already be married."

At that, she drew back to gape at him, breath shallow, hands lingering on his chest; he saw she was trembling. "F... for somebody who just said they need more time to make a decision, you're flirting pretty hard right now, plumber boy."

"Maybe I am," he admitted as his cheeks turned bright red. "But I'm not lying to do it, either. Just... felt like the right time to tell you, that's all."

They stared at each other for a long moment, as if trying to dive into the other's eyes and finally fish out their true feelings. Then she leaned in and kissed him for the second time – gentle and heated, but with less reckless abandon than the first. It was also much shorter, and he blinked when she pulled back, biting her lower lip and waiting for him to reprimand her.

"What-" he began, and cleared his throat when he heard his voice squeak. "What was _that?"_

"Marking my territory," she told him, voice chillingly sober. "I... okay, so we're not officially paired up, and I can admit I'm scared of what it could be like if we were. Neither of us are equipped for that yet. But at the very least, until we make up our minds, I'm... let's call this a down payment."

"A down payment, eh? A safety deposit?"

"That's it exactly; a safety deposit. If we both decide we're not ready for the big leagues, then no harm, no foul; you can pretend this never happened and give my heart right back to me. But you can't go running off and confessing your deepest love to Princess Toadstool until you let me down easy, okay? Promise you won't do that to me."

"No way," he told her without even hesitating. "I'd never-"

"I know you wouldn't," she consoled quickly, fidgeting. "I just wanted to hear you say it, that's all. And, uh... now I'd like to be alone for a little while, so if you'll excuse me..."

"Oh. Oh! Right, sorry, I'll head back to the others." But the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Mario was about a yard away when he backtracked and snared Wendy around her waist, yanking her onto him and grabbing the back of her head so roughly that she gasped aloud, eyes wide in shock and chest heaving. But he didn't do anything else; he had been all set to kiss her again, but they had just agreed they shouldn't. So he hovered, heart in his throat, trying to understand why he'd even gone back at all if he had no reason to.

"Do it," she urged, voice full of desperate need, and her words kept coming as if the first two had been the cork holding the rest inside. "Mario, you could do anything you wanted to me right now and I'd be powerless to stop you. Throw me down and make me a woman... or hit me, or bite me, or violate me in every way, or even kill me, I don't care! I'll take whatever you give!"

To a man who had faced down Bowser a thousand times, this was the most frightening moment he'd ever experienced – someone putting their fate, their _life,_ entirely in his hands. Not because they had no choice, but because they wished it. At the same time, it was such a pungent aphrodisiac that he almost listened to her. It could no longer be denied that a part of him, at the absolute least, wanted Wendy O. Koopa to be his. Wanted to _make _her his.

"Sorry," Mario rasped. After a moment's indecision, he leaned in and locked his lips around hers for several seconds, breathing her in and exploring her flavor, feeling every muscle in her body go slack and holding her up with his own. She hadn't been lying when she said she felt powerless against him; she couldn't even stand. He loved and hated it; it wasn't supposed to be this way, was it? But maybe this was the consequence for their tabling the issue because it was too difficult to decide. She had been the one asking, the one turned down, and now she would be the one put in this situation every time he expressed any interest. Until he accepted her. _If_ he did.

Which haunted him most of all.

"Sorry," he repeated. "But... I just wanted to have been the _kisser_ for once instead of the _kissee_."

"Uh-huh," she panted, still unable to support her own weight. He lowered her to the forest floor, trying not to ache for her, not to let his hands wander all over... and failed as he passed a hand briefly over her stomach. The way she sucked in a breath made him stop immediately, ashamed of himself.

"I'll... see you back at the camp," he told her gruffly, standing.

"Wait!" she gasped out, still unable to move. "I... you have a... _ooh._"

His face reddened further when he understood what she meant. "Um... damn. Now I have to wait for it to go away or Toad and Luigi will never stop cracking jokes."

But when he looked back down at her, worrying that she'd be offended, he saw she was beaming up at him. "At least now I know you weren't lying to spare my feelings. That's twice now. You sure are a horny little monkey, ain't ya?"

"I'm glad you're amused. This is starting to become really inconvenient!"

"Then let me start taking care of you when necessary. It's the simple solution." Mario scowled, and she giggled. "But we did agree. Okay, okay, I'm sorry for giving you grief. Forgive me?"

"Always." When he caught the way he'd said that, he cleared his throat and muttered, "Even if I said I'd let you, I bet you couldn't handle that."

"Yeah I could." She took a deep breath, forcing her eyes to look away. "W-well, I mean, I might fumble around since I don't have any practice, b-but I'm willing to learn."

Mario was tempted. Beyond tempted; he was almost totally convinced. But he forced that down. "No, thank you. Maybe someday, but not now."

"Why not?" she urged throatily.

"Cut that out!" While she was giggling afresh, he went on, "And the reason is, it would be taking advantage. We just agreed to figure this out, and it wouldn't be right to fool around the whole time we're 'thinking', since that might kinda, sorta influence the decision."

Wendy glared at him, then nodded as she looked away. "You're right, I know you are. Kills me to admit it, though. Except..."

"Except what?"

"Well, if we're _not _getting any, and we've got so much pent-up tension building in the lower torso region, wouldn't that influence our choices just as much? We might end up agreeing to try things just to get our libidos to shut up, which would be fun, but _oh_ _so_ wrong."

"Fricking Catch-22; we can't exactly date yet because we can't tell if it'll work, but trying to stay friends is just going to force us to hook up to keep from going crazy. Either way, we ruin everything."

"Mario... you need to leave me alone in the woods for a while."

"I know."

"No, you don't," she told him with quite a bit of significance dripping from her words.

"Oh?" The hue of his entire face blended seamlessly with his cap now. _"AH!_ I, uh, right! You're going to... okay, so I guess that's an alternative."

"I'm really, really gross," she whimpered, her face scrunching up as she tried not to cry, hand twitching from its position on her hip – as if impatient to get started. Indeed, now that he was looking for it he could see her pelvis moving slowly from side to side, chest heaving, tip of the tail swishing to and fro. "You don't have to tell me, I already know it. But if something doesn't happen to me soon, no matter what it is-"

"I never said you were gross," he swore. "Just, it's not something I thought about before, that's all. I, uh... I'll go off this way and give you some privacy."

Twin blue orbs blinked as they followed his movements. "But that's not the way to the camp. Where are you... right, right," she blurted, breath coming faster. "What's fit for a Goombette is fit for a Goomba, too!"

"This is our last 'get out of jail free' card," Mario told her as he walked away, forcing every last step. "Next time..."

Neither of them finished the thought; they both knew there could be no "next time", or they wouldn't have enough willpower to retreat to their corners. Next time, it would be beyond prevention_._

Twenty minutes later, Mario and Wendy returned to the campfire separately and inhaled the charred mystery meat as if they'd never seen food before, dodging all sorts of inane questions from their two friends. Bellies full, they curled up beneath the only cloak they had brought with them for a blanket.

"I'm really sorry," Wendy whispered. "This is my fault, I... dude, I threw myself at you too much, and I even went and-"

"I don't think either of us is handling this well," he sighed into her hair. "And look at this crap, pretending we're not an 'item' and then cuddling."

"Yeah. Nevermind the fact that instead of doing what comes natural, we split up and take care of the same thing in a ridiculously more complicated way."

A harsh chuckle escaped his mouth. "My leaving was supposed to save us from making some crazy mistake, but what we ended up doing to avoid it was actually weirder. This whole situation is getting weirder every day."

Wendy pulled his hand up and placed it over her heart, holding it there. "Mario, I'm glad for whatever it is we got. Weirdness is better than solitude."

Mario listened for a long moment to the sounds of Toad and Luigi snoring, enjoying the warmth of the creature in his arms, the nearness that filled his heart with gladness. Then he reached up with his other hand and turned Wendy's head slightly, leaving the lightest peck on the corner of her mouth. It was all he dared try.

"Mario?"

"We'll figure this out, Wen," he promised her. "Or it'll figure itself out sooner or later, even if we keep playing chicken. Trust me."

Her small smile lit him up like a Christmas tree, and that combined with the weight of food in his stomach began to lull him to sleep. "I trust you," she breathed. "Completely."

-o-o-o-o-

Peach was awoken by the sounds of grunting.

At first, she was convinced she was back in the Neon Castle, stuck behind bars and listening to some odious torture being plotted out for her. Would she ever be free? Then, however, she saw the grunts were actually coming from the exercise routine Lemmy was putting himself through a few feet away. She slowly pushed to a sitting position while mumbling, "What...?"

"Good morning," he told her as he stood, rotating his arm to loosen the muscles. "You and Iggy kept vigilant as long as you could, and once I woke up I figured it was high time I tried to work out the kinks in my aching body."

With a start, Peach let out a strangled gasp and slapped her hands over her eyes. "Well, I'd s-say they're gone! No kinks here, j-j-just b-body!"

"CRAP!" he yelped, diving for his shell. "I... forgive me, I should have realized, but I'm so unaccustomed to having a woman nearby when I wake that I just leap into my morning ritual, and- _ugh,_ I've made a real mess of things now!"

"No, don't worry," she tittered, reflecting on the scene she'd beheld. Lemmy Koopa was most certainly an adult, no disputing that; her second look at him revealed much. "I, uh, I'm glad for the show. Have to find our own entertainment out here in the woods, don't we?"

When she peeked between her fingers, she saw his shell was back in place and he was gaping at her in disbelief. "I... I thought you'd be more, y'know, upset."

"You're a strapping young male," she said with a shrug, standing and nervously dusting off her knees. Was her face red? Could she pass it off as a byproduct of the heat? "And exercising keeps you that way, so hey, more power to you!"

"That's not what I..." Then he smiled. "Well, I suppose it's only fair after the dungeon. We've evened out the scales."

They both stood there for a time, acting twitchy and silly, before Peach shook herself; they were on the run from a dangerous villain. No time to think about Koopa anatomy and its apparent advantages. "Okay, then. Iggy?"

The boy was still asleep on the ground. To be fair, he had done his part after she had woken him for his shift and poked her an hour or two later to relieve him before passing out again, but as the baby in their family he probably wasn't used to so much action.

"I'll get him up."

"No, let him sleep a few more minutes," she said with a calm smile. "He probably could use it."

Lemmy nodded. "Breakfast for us, then." He bent and rifled through the sack, coming back up with one of the foreign-looking apples and a wedge of cheese. "I've already had some to wake me up."

"I'm glad you're feeling well enough to do push-ups," she told him as she took a substantial bite of the fruit, seating herself beside him on a fallen log. "Honestly, I worried that we'd have to... I really didn't know _what_ we could try doing if you didn't recover. It was..."

"It's in the past," he told her as he tore off a hunk of cheese and nibbled on it. "Let's just hope we don't have to deal with anything like that again."

"Right." She passed him the apple and he passed her the cheese. Once she'd popped a corner of it into her mouth, she said, "So, I hope you have a better sense of direction than I do. It's the other reason I didn't push for us to march on last night; we're getting lost enough in the daytime without adding in the element of shadows."

Her eyes widened as she watched him bite the apple. 'That's where I bit it', she thought to herself, wondering why she even cared. Without an answer, her thoughts continued, 'Doesn't he mind that my human germs are mixing with his? Isn't he disgusted to be eating after me?'

"I'm afraid not. But I can tell north, south, east and west. And I know we came from the south, so I've been _trying_ to steer us north, but... sometimes it's so dark overhead, and all those signposts just make it worse. What kind of sadist would make them to _intentionally_ confuse travelers?"

His hand was out, offering her the apple. She glanced at it, and she became oddly aware of her every pore that was leaking perspiration at that very moment. It was so balmy, but that wasn't the only reason. It was what she'd seen and she knew it.

'Wake up, Peach, you idiot,' she chided herself as she took the fruit from him and held it between her hands. 'Stop thinking about this. We're in grave peril, Mario and Luigi are no doubt jumping around out there somewhere trying to find us, and Lemmy is an amphibious being from an entirely different genus. It doesn't matter that you find...' Even in her thoughts, admitting to the fact that she found him pleasing to the eye was difficult.

"Something wrong?"

"No," she lied, clearing her throat, still staring at his teethmarks in the fruit. Her heart was pounding. Where was all this coming from? If this had happened yesterday morning, she'd just have made a face at having to eat after someone and done what she'd needed to sustain her energy levels.

A tiny voice inside her whispered, 'But that was before you almost lost him.'

Her tongue slid out and tasted the sickly sweetness of the juices. There was Koopa saliva mixed in with that – it was repulsive, wasn't it? No. It should have been, but it wasn't. Her lips parted further, she pushed her teeth into the tender flesh...

Everything inside her suddenly felt darker, as if she'd debased herself. Why? It was only food. But had she ever _savored_ food like this in her entire life? Why was she only eating the parts his mouth had touched? There was plenty left on the rest of the apple, but this somehow tasted the best. She had to devour all of it. Then she stopped chewing and started running her tongue over it, full of joy even though her entire body was shaking...

"You're lying."

"What?" she yipped, nearly dropping the apple.

"You are." Lemmy's eyes were alert, anxious. "If nothing was wrong, you wouldn't be sweating like that, or shaking or... is that more sweat, or are you... crying?"

"I can't be crying," she laughed, but her laughter almost sounded like sobs. "That doesn't make any sense." When his hands clamped on her shoulders, she let out a frightened squeak. "Oh!"

"Tell me. I'm concerned about you."

Her eyes fixated on his lip; a tiny particle of apple hung there. She wanted that one, too.

"_Mine."_

Lemmy turned to stone when Peach pressed her lips against his bottom one, when her tongue slid along it and drew the speck inside. Once her mouth closed around it, she moaned with delight.

"What did- _Majesty?"_

"I just love... this fruit. It's so good, and you had some there... and I wanted it."

As she stopped speaking, she got a good look at him and realized he was wholly terrified of what she had done, and what she might do for an encore. Her eyes dropped to the fruit in her hands. "I was hungry. B-but... maybe I'm full now. I... yes, I'm full now. Do you want any more?"

"I do," he rumbled deep in his chest, one of his claws resting on her hand. "But... not now. I'm, uh, not hungry at the moment. But perhaps later..."

It was then her brain more earnestly caught up with her actions, and she nearly had a heart attack. 'OH GOD,' she shrieked mentally, 'I just_ kissed_ him! Maybe I didn't think that's what I was doing, but I did, I unmistakably put my lips against his and now I can't take it back! I'm slithering around outside the rules of courtship, outside my realm – outside my branch of the animal kingdom! And what the hell was that, gulping down the parts of the apple he'd eaten? This is _sick! I _am a sick, sick woman!'

Something of this must have shown in her face, because his finger was under her chin, drawing her head upward to meet his steady gaze. "We'll think about lunch when the time comes."

Now Peach was blindsided by another consequence: Lemmy hadn't minded. In fact, maybe he even _liked_ it. Why shouldn't he? She was royalty! But the minute she thought that, she halted such a snooty, arrogant perspective. Peach was royalty, and she might even be something akin to fetching, but it didn't matter much if she was _human._ Did Koopas even view humans as attractive? Did they have the capacity to? He might just be humoring her.

"Yeah," she breathed, trying to turn her mind to business – and failing. "But... maybe it's not smart of me to comment on it this early, but the menu... it sounds appetizing."

A few seconds slipped by unnoticed as they remained deadlocked, and a thousand looks of shock and disbelief appeared and were replaced by more. His fingers were still atop hers, the fruit trapped underneath all; they were getting sticky. Then he whispered, "You have a drop of juice here," lips moving to her chin, just under her lip.

Her moan could have got a rise out of the dead.

Too surprised to plan a wise reaction, Lemmy moved his head upward and smothered the sound with his mouth. In an flash of heat, tongues were writhing against each other, hands were pressing against unfamiliar scalps, knees bumped knees. His musk assaulted her with renewed fervor, and she knew the hairs on the nape of her neck were standing on end. Everything about him was _electrifying. _Peach felt her heart soaring, felt the ground move and the air burning. Wasn't this supposed to feel revolting, kissing a Koopa? Hadn't she been fending off Bowser's advances for eons because being with a lizard was so very undesirable?

As it turned out, it was only Bowser himself who was undesirable.

A particularly loud caw from a bird overhead signaled them to break apart, panting as if they'd been running a marathon. Every part of her had been awakened, that was certain; she felt life coursing through her veins, throbbing in places she'd never felt it throb before. All she wanted was more... but in the end, her good sense slapped her normally-tame heart back into submission.

"This never happened," she bleated, eyes wild and fearful. "Please, say it didn't; I am the ruler of a kingdom, and an affair such as this... everything would fall apart. Swear it to me!"

"I swear," he was quick to assure her. "None shall hear of it from me."

"You and I... only ate this morning. Fruit. Ate _fruit._"

"Don't forget the cheese," he said with a wan smile.

"Right," she laughed madly. "Fruit and cheese. And, um, that's it."

"It was the best fruit I've ever tasted."

"I'd die to have it again," she gasped out, then cleared her throat. "No. No, no, no, don't do that to me! I cry foul!"

"Your Majesty, I'm not trying to do anything," he pleaded, stricken at her reaction. "All I wish is to serve you, protect you – please believe that! What you do and do not... _eat_, that's your prerogative."

At these words, the guilt set in. Peach's hands clamped down on her upper arms as she breathed, "Oh, Lemmy... I'm such a... I can't even admit to what I'm sorry for, but I am. You must hate me for this already, and if you don't now then you will soon enough."

"How could anyone who's met you ever hate you? I doubt it's possible."

'He's so genteel,' she swooned within the safety of her mind. 'But we don't have the time to figure anything like this out. We have to go. Once everyone is safely away from Bowser's clutches, we'll pick apart why his taste thrills me, why I keep staring at his lean thighs...'

"Hmmnh?"

Hearts surged upward into throats when Iggy awoke. _Iggy._ He already mistrusted the human in their midst, and any progress she'd made in winning him over would be eradicated if he ever suspected anything so disturbing as-

It was time for a political-scale cover-up.

Peach raised a finger to her lips, then jutted her chin toward the rousing youngster. Lemmy's eyes were sad, but he nodded; no matter the rest, they were most certainly on the same page in this area.

"Whazz goin' on? Lemmy?"

"Finally up, huh?" he said cheerily, tossing his brother another fruit from the sack. "Breakfast. Then we move out."

"Fruit again," Iggy mumbled as he rubbed at his eyes. "Well, it's better than starving."

While the boy was paying attention to his meal, Lemmy reached over and squeezed her hand for a brief moment. She did not look up, she did not smile at him or say anything, or otherwise acknowledge it had happened. However, she did permit herself to squeeze back.

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: ...okay, so maybe I went WAY overboard in this chapter with the HBO-ness. Can you blame me? Also, maybe this is the right time to admit that I started out writing one interspecies love story, and ended up with two. It kind of fell together that way as I was writing. Somehow Lemmy/Peach just felt right; a Koopa who rebels against their avaricious, slothful ways, who can truly watch over and protect the princess he pledges his loyalty to. And Peach needed someone. Mario and Luigi? Nah, they weren't quite suited for her. Good as friends but not as potential boyfriend material. So along comes Lemmy... But again, sorry if you were caught off-guard by the big-time super sensuality. There's more of it ahead, but not so much all in one place as that!

By the way, special thanks to MikariStar for coming back and reading the new stuff after SEVEN YEARS of waiting... geez, you'll never know how terrible I feel about putting Wendy in the attic for that long, I meant to get back to her much sooner but life gets in the way and all. And that's interesting that you have a program that reads to you, it's like having all the audiobooks you ever wanted :)


	11. Larry from the Blockade

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 11: Larry from the Block...ade

Larry Koopa was bored off his rocker. So bored, in fact, that he was literally oozing slowly to the ground from a genuine rocking chair. Why had he been given this pathetic task? Just because he was in the younger end of the Koopaling spectrum didn't mean he had any desire to hang around in the middle of nowhere, supervising a bunch of Goombas. What a waste of resources. The Hammer Brothers were here, surely they could handle it by themselves...

"YOU! Troopa!"

"Yessir!" the underling yelped.

"Bring me a coconut-guava smoothie."

The turtle blinked. "Beg pardon, sir? I, uh... I dunno if we got any coconuts around h-"

"Then find some fruit, smash it into a slurry and put it in a tumbler!" he growled. "I don't care, just do _something, _I'm freaking thirsty! Chop-chop!"

"Right away, sir!"

'This is going to be the longest day of my misspent life,' Larry thought miserably as he slumped down in the chair again. He hadn't even deigned to pack his video games when they set out from the Keep, since they were so childish and he was an evil genius soon to be coming into his own. Now he wished he'd admitted that even villains sometimes have need for leisure activities.

"Sir!" a Paratroopa called down as he came in for a landing. "Movement in the south!"

"Really?" he said, interest piqued. "Let's see..."

With a hop and a swing, he was on higher footing and squinting into a telescope. Sure enough, he spotted a flash of color in the trees. It could be another Caterkiller, but then again...

"Mobilize," he barked. "Just in case."

-o-o-o-o-

Wendy woke to utter darkness. A shot of panic blazed through her chest before she fought it down; she was _not _back in the cave with Roy. That was never going to happen to her again.

No, she was under a blanket with Mario. Her entire body relaxed, and she almost fell asleep again out of sheer relief and contentment. This was much more preferable! Slowly, she eased her face backward from where it was buried in his chest, and found the light that filtered through the material of the cloak did give her a view of his sleepy mug.

The guy really was handsome. Not in the way she had expected to find a man handsome; he was round and pinkish, and all that fur on his lip had made her laugh. Yes, Mario looked like a red-and-blue balloon with patchy hair growth. But when someone he cared about was in danger, and his eyes became that inferno of determination... no one held such fierce beauty. Everything she'd expected to be attracted to had shifted over time. Now, if they weren't destined to become a couple, she'd probably wind up stumbling through Earth Land trying to find someone who looked like him.

But nobody would ever come close. Not remotely.

His lips tempted her. Ticklish mustache aside, she loved the sensation, how he made her feel when they met. But they had agreed to take a step back. All total, they'd really only been friends for a month or so; it was nuts to bump up from buddies to _bed-buddies_ this fast! Sometimes all you get is one shot, and if you rush it so badly that you obliterate that shot you can't go back and request a do-over.

But Wendy wasn't so set on that as he was. If he changed his mind tomorrow and said, "What the hell, let's go for it," she'd agree so fast his head would spin. As long as he needed time, though, she'd give it to him because his reasons were sound.

And because pushing for more could push him further away instead. At this point, that sounded like a fate worse than death.

"You guys ever gonna get up?" she heard Luigi call out from nearby. Stifling a giggle, Wendy stayed completely still and did not answer. She wanted this moment to last a few seconds longer.

Mario's eyes did open, though. Before he could do anything at all, she raised a finger to her lips and shushed him. When his eyebrows knit, she grinned and pet his cheek, and she saw him smile back; maybe he understood.

"Did you think about me last night?" she asked in a nearly silent voice, so quiet that Mario probably had to watch her lips to tell what she was saying. He responded in kind.

"Yeah. Did you think about me?"

"I did. They were delicious thoughts." He averted his eyes for a moment to regain his composure, and once he looked back at her she asked, "Did you dream about me?"

"I always dream about you."

Tears ran sideways down her face. She wasn't really upset, or even all that overcome by emotion. It was just that she was so at peace that it was too beautiful to bear.

"We really should get a move on," he breathed.

"But where we are now is so good."

"I know. Sheesh, do I know! But the princess..."

She frowned. All at once, the glee of hiding under the blanket with him vanished like a wisp of smoke; Peach was out there, being held against her will. It killed her to admit it, but she really did care about the almost-queen's safety more than the luxury of this morning with... with her b-

For a second, a certain word occurred to Wendy, and she almost applied it to him – at least in her mind where she could think whatever she wanted. But she refused. It would only hurt more if she started thinking of him that way now, before they'd settled things. So she'd keep calling him a "friend" for a while longer.

One day he would fit the other word. Maybe even one day soon.

"Fine, let's get up... but you're going to have to put Mario Junior away first."

Mario gulped as her hand briefly brushed the spot in question. "Y-yeah, I g-guess I should. Gosh... how do we keep ending up in this predicament?"

"Baseball."

"Uh... what?"

"You mentioned it was your favorite Earth Land sport, right?" she said with a nervous smile. "Tell me some of your favorite players, the best in your kingdom."

The corners of Mario's mouth twitched up when she called his country a "kingdom". "Well, there's DiMaggio, of course; he's a hero to all us Italian-Americans. Ozzie Smith wasn't bad for a non-Yankee. Willie Mays was amazing, and so was Mantle... then there's the Bambino..."

Wendy nodded along, not bothering to mention that she could feel him calming down. If she drew attention to it, the distraction would no longer be distracting him. It was good that her plan was working, but part of her mourned the loss. Again, they had come within a hair's breadth...

"...and everybody loved Yogi Berra," he finished up with a grin. "Whether or not you think he was a good player, the man's a riot."

"You weren't kidding about this being your favorite sport," she giggled. "I've never heard anybody talk about some game like it's a real part of their lives."

"Well, of course it is – in New York. If you're not a Yankees fan, you gotta be a masochist."

"I'll take your word for it," she whispered, kissing him on the nose. Before he could react, she made a great show of sitting up and stretching her arms.

"_Finally_," Toad grumbled. "And you just cost me two coins, you damn Koopa."

"Hmm?" she asked, doing her best to sound groggy even though she'd been awake for over ten minutes.

"The fungus dared make a bet with a Brooklyn native," Luigi chortled. "And he lost. Mario's no early riser; I knew you'd wake up first."

"Sorry, Toad," she half-laughed. "Does that mean if I go back to sleep you can keep your money?"

"Oh, no you don't," Toad snapped. "Coins or no coins, we're both tired of sitting around waiting for the newlyweds to get their rears in gear!"

"Really?" Mario asked as he sat up, scratching his stubbly chin. "Maybe I'm getting senile in my old age, but I don't remember marrying anybody. Do you, Wendy?"

"Not this week," she responded blithely, folding up their cloak and stashing it for the road.

"HA!" Luigi crowed, pounding his fist into his open palm. "I knew it, I just knew it!"

"Me too," Mario laughed. "Now, what is it we're supposed to know?"

"You two got a little... _horizontal_ in the woods last night, didn't you? It's written all over your well-rested-and-way-too-pleased faces!"

Unfortunately for Luigi, both Mario and Wendy had been expecting to be accused of that, and were therefore more than prepared with various subtle lies of omission.

"Bro, that's crazy talk," Mario said in his best disapproving voice. "We are on a mission! No time for stuff like that now."

"As if I'd let myself be deflowered among actual _flowers,_" Wendy scoffed.

A sanctimonious head-shake accompanied the rest of Mario's little speech. "I am ashamed of you two. Come on, really? Sitting around, betting on who wakes up – and on whether or not we had a little afternoon delight in the evening?"

Toad grimaced. "Caught us; we bet on that, too."

"Not much else to do when you're waiting on Mr. and Mrs. Van Winkle to get their butts outta bed!" Luigi insisted. "Maybe, if we could actually start trying to rescue Peach-"

"Allright, allright, shaddap!" Mario guffawed as he stood, brushing off the seat of his overalls. "What's for breakfast? Or didn't anybody think of that?"

"Walking first," Toad told him. "We'll probably find one of those Yoshi Trees if we're, y'know, not struck blind anywhere along the road."

"Comparing yourself to the Apostle Paul is only going to make you look pitiful. Anyway, I guess I'm still full of last night's chewy, gristly whatever-it-was for now."

Wendy nodded as she shouldered her pack. "I can handle that. We'll wait for a brunch."

As they began walking down the road, Luigi and Toad impatiently in the front and leaving the others to lag behind, Wendy swatted Mario on the behind with her tail. When he blinked at her in surprise, she shot him a playful smile full of mock-innocence. Not one to let a taunt go unanswered, he reached a threatening hand back toward the offending appendage. Her scandalized look was enough, however, and he stopped just short with a satisfied grin.

"Masher," she hissed.

"Tramp."

Their giggles did make Luigi and Toad whirl, hoping to catch them in the act of flirting – but alas, they missed the show by a nanosecond and were treated instead to two people strolling casually, disinterested looks firmly in place. Mario was even whistling.

-o-o-o-o-

"Do you see that?"

Peach craned her neck to try and glimpse what Iggy was referring to. "No... just more trunks. Trunks, and trunks, and trun-"

"Bro, gimme a boost!"

"Sure," Lemmy sighed, dropping the sack wearily and cupping his hands at knee-level. Iggy stepped into the brace and was hoisted up into the trees. As they listened to the sounds of rapid climbing, the brother still on solid ground leaned over and whispered, "So... I've spent all morning feeling like a cad."

"Don't," she urged through her teeth. "It's... just forget about it. Forget all about it."

"But if I don't-"

"That never should have happened," she told him with wide eyes. "It was the second-biggest mistake of my life – my first being allowing my parents to be taken from me."

"Except that neither one was _your _mistake. Like I said, I've been thinking about this for hours, and I finally realized... it's most likely you were, uh, feeling out of sorts from seeing me shell-less. Maybe that's not why you did what you did, so feel free to correct me."

Peach nodded glumly. "Okay, so that contributed. It's still not as if my brain was helplessly fogged from seeing your, uh..."

"Birthmark?" he ventured with an awkward smile. At that unexpected substitution, Peach laughed aloud, truly amused, and he laughed with her.

"You know what?" she said breathlessly a few seconds later. "Nevermind, you big lummox. Let's just agree that we both lost our heads and be done with it."

"That's fine by me," he gusted, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Chivalry is still demanding I take all the blame, but I think I can tolerate your more sensible compromise."

"How progressive of you. Shake on it?"

They were still sealing the deal when the cry came from overhead. _"Shit!"_

"Iggy!" Lemmy called upward with a frown. "Language!"

"Sorry guys," the boy said as he clambered down. "But I... I was all excited because I thought I noticed a break in the trees; Big Mouth's always joking that I could see the dark side of the moon with my glasses." He paused to somersault to the ground, then took a few breaths. "Anyway, I went up to get some height and make sure, but... well, I kinda got some... why are you guys holding hands?"

They both flinched, and Peach instinctively jerked her own hand to her chest. "Uh-"

"_Shaking_ hands, Ig," Lemmy supplied quickly. "Not holding. Anyway, you were saying?"

Iggy blinked a few times, a suspicious glare in his eyes, before clearing his throat. "Yeah, so, uh... so I got some good news and some bad news."

"I hate these," Peach muttered. "Bad news first, please; let's get it out of the way so we can stop dreading it and start dealing with it."

"There's a huge cliff towering above the forest dead ahead and only one way up it... and King Dad's got it blocked off but good. Tanks and everything."

"_Kuso!"_ Lemmy swore. Then he realized what he'd said wasn't much more polite than the word he'd given his little brother grief over, so he cleared his throat. "Fine. This is a terrible turn of events, but fine. What's the good news?"

Iggy gave a sheepish shrug. "We're... almost out of the woods?"

All three of them let out bitter sighs.

"Okay, some more good news if it matters: there's a stream not too far from here. I saw it while I was trying to figure out how to get back down."

"Now _that's _good news," Peach said with a tired smile. "Oh, to wash this gunge off!"

"To drink actual water," Lemmy breathed.

They raced toward the shore as if they were fleeing from armed officers. Once there, Peach fell to washing her face and hair as Lemmy refilled their canteens, stopping to empty them into his own stomach now and then. Iggy took the opportunity to rinse his glasses off; they were smudged badly, and all of their clothing was too grimy to wipe them on.

"Let's give the princess some time to herself," Lemmy told Iggy once he'd capped the fourth and final canteen.

"Why?" Then he saw the way she was wading into the water, scratching at her shoulder as if desperate to shed the bothersome shirt interfering with her soak. "Oh. But we're _all_ nasty and sweaty. What makes her so special?"

"Remember, she was curled up on the floor of the dungeons before we escaped, so she's been dirtier than us longer."

"She should get first dibs, then," Iggy was forced to admit. "Okay, okay."

"We'll be a few yards into the trees this way," Lemmy called over to her, pointing.

"You sure?" she asked, as if being given the sweetest gift but unable to accept that it was truly hers. "I m-mean, it's not necessary, you know, I can-"

"Too bad we haven't any soap," Lemmy told her. "Come find us when you're done and the boys will have their bathtime."

"You bet I will!" The sounds of her mirthful shouts of ecstasy were Lemmy's reward as they trudged further away from the rushing waters. Iggy didn't seem to find it quite as rewarding.

"She gets treated so good because she's a princess, doesn't she?"

Lemmy grinned. "That's not reason enough?"

"I guess." They began rifling through their packs, checking and double-checking what provisions they had left. Then Iggy sat up, a curious, sneaky look on his face. "Hmm... say, Bro..."

"What?"

"Have you ever... seen one naked? Y'know, a human."

At that, Lemmy blushed, but he was also glaring down at his brother. "I have not, and we're not going to remedy that today, either! Shame on you for even-"

"I know, I know," he laughed. "But it'd probably be really weird."

Lemmy shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe it would. Or maybe it would just make a certain young lizard a _Peeping Tom._ One whose older brother would have to pound within an inch of his life if he ever caught him in the act. Got me?"

"I think you wanna look, too."

"I do not!"

Iggy grinned, adopting a sing-song voice. "You wanna see that wrinkly pink body of hers! Then you'll smother it with little kissy-wissies!"

"Shut up, runt, before I teach you a lesson in manners!"

But Iggy was rolling on the ground, cackling and kicking his legs. In a flash, two of Lemmy's fingers were up Iggy's nostrils, pulling him roughly along the ground. _ "Owowow!"_

"Don't you hate this? Say you're sorry!"

"Dangid, you dow thad bages by dose idch for days!"

"SAY IT!"

"Ogay, ogay! I'b sorry!"

Now Lemmy laughed, dropping him. "Much better. And we both know you were being a jerk, which means I shouldn't hear you whining about it all day."

"Yeah," Iggy seethed, still displeased with having his fun taken away. As he rubbed his nose, he went ahead and asked, "But I'm right, aren't I?"

"Hmm?"

"You do. You like her."

"Iggy, I swear-"

"No, I'm not kidding," he said stubbornly, still rubbing the end of his nose. "You really do, even if you're not going to go spy on her while she takes a bath."

"Which isn't something you'd do to somebody you like anyway," Lemmy admonished. "Much less if that somebody is royalty. We could probably be beheaded for that if she felt like it."

Iggy clutched at his neck. "Eep!"

"Yeah, remember that. She probably wouldn't, but if one of her guards caught you peeping? What if she doesn't find out in time to save your sorry hide?"

"Bro," Iggy said impatiently, _"we're _her guards."

"I meant back at the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Since when are we going to the Mush-"

"Where else did you think we would end up, Smart Guy? You wanna stay here in this outdoorsy nightmare?"

"No. But... I dunno, couldn't we make King Dad stay in Dinosaur World and we could take over the Keep, just the two of us? Maybe even bring your precious princess along, too."

Lemmy raised an eyebrow. "You think Peach wants to give up her own castle – which is _much_ nicer than ours, I'm sure – and move to Dark Land, where most of the environment is continuously on fire?"

"She would if you asked her to. Because she cares about you. It's probably the only thing I like about her."

"Really? After all this time, and after you guys worked together so hard to keep me from dehydrating, you still can't find any other redeeming qualities?"

Iggy thought for a long moment. "Well... I like her hair."

"Uh-huh." He was underwhelmed.

"It's bright red, like King Dad's. Maybe that's why he was always trying to catch her."

At that, Lemmy grinned, running a hand over his face. "Hmm. I wouldn't be too surprised if that was the entire reason all along. Anyway, now we have some preparations to make."

"What do you mean?"

"Listen," he began to whisper. "While Peach is washing the stink off, we could be doing a lot to get ready for what comes next. So here's the plan..."

-o-o-o-o-

"_There_ they are."

With a few hurried hand movements, Larry Koopa directed the Troopas to their positions. The Hammer Bros. were already where they needed to be, of course; much more reliable than the other riffraff. It would only be a matter of time before they were in his clutches.

"What now, dear brothers?" Larry sneered to himself as he watched the approaching troupe of heroes walk steadily toward their doom. "Are you going to come up with a bunch of bumbling excuses as to why you're traipsing around Dinosaur World with King Dad's prize? Or are you going to throw yourselves at my feet, begging for mercy? Oh, it should be sweet indeed..."

"Here's your smoothie, sir."

Larry took it and drew a long sip. Then he spat it back out – directly into the Troopa's face. "What kind of muck is this?"

"It's- it's some kind of fruit they grow locally!" the tortoise protested, swiping the substance from his eyes. "We told you, there's nothing else-"

"Just get out of my sight! You are on the front lines now, flunkey, so you better hope for a cease-fire or you'll probably be the first one taken down! And haven't I told you never to interrupt me while I'm monologuizing?"

"B-but-"

"GO!"

As the Troopa moved off, Larry took another small, experimental sip. Truth be told, it wasn't a bad flavor. Just an exotic one. Not that he'd ever admit it to the hired help.

Again, he leveled his telescope toward the advancing group; Larry was in the fore, with Iggy and the stupid bimbette on either side and slightly behind him. They definitely looked a little worse for wear. With a smug grin, Larry wondered if they would simply surrender now that they'd had a taste of what life outside their father's protection had to offer.

The forces waited patiently until the three were within shouting distance before Larry picked up a megaphone; no sense straining his own delicate vocal cords over this.

"Welcome to my blockade, fellow Koopas... and _human."_ There was some quiet snickering among the Troopas, but he glared at the nearest one and they all fell silent. "As you can see, you're totally outnumbered, and there's no way around. Flee in terror back to the forest, surrender... or be mashed into a pulp. Your choice."

"I choose none," came the clear, loud answer.

"Are you serious, Hop? It's suicide to think-"

"My _name_ is LEMMY. Not 'Hop', not 'Rainbow Brains', not anything else." Watching through his telescope, Larry could clearly see the wayward son draw a wooden sword, holding it out in front of him. "As of now, I publicly forsake my heritage as spawn of Bowser and citizen of Dark Land. I am _ronin –_ a wanderer with no master."

"Didn't I tell you to stop using those lame Earth Land words?" Larry growled. "They make you sound like a doofus – and a pretentious doofus, at that!"

"He is not masterless," the princess amended. "It is within my power as acting potentate of the Mushroom Kingdom to grant him wardship, and I hereby do so."

Larry's face darkened. "Nobody was talking to the monkey!"

"This 'monkey' is rightful ruler of the land you inhabit!" Peach bit out. "Just because your so-called King barged in and claimed a corner of it for his own doesn't mean I recognize his authority!"

"Neither do we recognize yours, you hairless baboon; go back to Earth Land, where your kind belongs! You have no more rights in the Kingdom than we do, no matter how you've convinced those fungus otherwise! Get off your high Ostro, willya?"

There was a pause with nothing but the sound of howling wind on the grassy plain in front of the cliff face. "So it looks like we must agree to disagree."

"Guess so. Therefore, as an enemy of _my_ King, I demand you surrender or face the consequences."

"Officially, I demand you do the same. Wouldn't want anyone to accuse me of foregoing the order of law just because we're up to our necks in it."

"I suggest you listen to her, _Cheatsy_," Lemmy laughed coldly. "We're ready to pierce through your so-called blockade if you put up a fight."

"Ha!" Larry giggled, spilling his smoothie as he convulsed in mirth. "That's something I gotta see!"

In fact, he was too busy laughing to notice the cunning grins on the faces of the three lone travelers. They were only too happy to oblige.

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: Here we have kind of a transitional chapter, briefly showing Team Mario's breaking camp and Team Peach(?) about to truly confront Larry. Up next is a huge battle and some quiet introspection. From now until the end of Chapter 14 encompasses the core conflict and climax of the adventure, and after that is resolution of more personal matters. Yay, I guess. Glad to see there's some people out there enjoying this old relic from my past!


	12. Subterranean Homesick Dudes

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 12: Subterranean Homesick Dudes

"A cave."

The four companions glanced at each other, feeling defeated and irritable. All that work to get across the plains, fighting through a haunted house and hunting their own game to survive... and here they were at another impasse. When were they going to catch a break?

"There's no way to sneak past this, is there?"

"Doesn't seem to be," Toad said as he skipped back to the mouth of the cave. "Unless any of you guys got a boat in their back pocket."

Mario nodded, scratching at his chin as he surveyed the landscape. It really did seem to be the only option. "Maybe there's a warp around here somewhere to give us a boost...?"

"Doubt it, Brother Mio," Luigi grunted.

"I'm really worried," Wendy spoke up. When everyone looked at her, she shrugged and said, "Are we even heading in the right direction? I mean, this is a big universe, and... I dunno. I'd hate to find out Peach is rotting away in a cell in the other direction."

"Finding your star-faced sibling guarding that last fortress is proof enough for me," Toad snapped. "They wouldn't lift a finger if we weren't getting close."

"He coulda been a decoy," said Luigi, which made Wendy laugh.

"Daddy's not really that smart. You're right, I'm inventing red herrings; the trail hasn't gone cold yet. I just hope she's okay when we get to the end of it..."

"We'll find her," Mario promised, squeezing her hand. She squeezed back, flashing him a bleak smile before turning back to the cave mouth.

"I sure hope so."

Toad made a gagging noise. "If you two are through with the googly eyes, let's beat feet."

"Fine. Let's."

And inward they went.

-o-o-o-o-

"This is _so _not working out how we planned!"

Much though he didn't want to, Lemmy had to agree with his younger brother; they were being turned into a squishy paste. Cannons to the right of them, Troopas to the left... and those accursed Hammer Brothers sending carpentry tools their way constantly. A travesty compared to how they had envisioned the battle beforehand.

But Larry's ground forces weren't the only ones with projectiles. In addition to Lemmy and Iggy doing their best to knock Goombas and Buzzy Beetles on their heads, Peach had managed to get her hands on a Fire Flower earlier in their trek – and being that only humans could use them (without aid of any flashy talismans), she had been designated their gunner. Not that she was an ace with it, but good enough to provide cover fire (no pun intended) and wipe out a Paratroopa or two.

Alas, it's not like the sheer force of numbers could be ignored. Iggy was barely able to keep up the struggle without being barbecued. Lemmy was faring better, but his most recent brush with death had left him at less than top fighting condition. And wave after wave of Chomps and Bob-Ombs were eventually going to send them to an early grave...

That was when Lemmy had the thought. Grinning, he took aim with his _bokken _and swatted one of the clockwork explosives up and inside one of the tanks. It ricocheted down the hole and let out a hearty "BOM!" Very soon thereafter, the tank shivered, drifted in a few unlikely directions, and ground to a halt.

"Shelter!" Iggy panted as they huddled behind it. "Great to... to take a breather..."

"Do you still wish you'd found a longer stick?"

"Nah... it'd just... be even heavier and harder to lift... by now."

Lemmy nodded as he wiped blood from the corner of his mouth. "This isn't going so swimmingly... but we're not cornered yet."

Just then, two Goombas whipped around the sides. Two quick swipes and they had been dispatched. "Isn't there something we can do to... to sneak past?"

"Sure," he replied, grabbing onto an approaching Troopa's shell and spinning it around; the soldier inside was sent careening into the bushes. "Turn us invisible. That'll make it easy."

It is rather unfortunate that the tank chose that moment to explode.

Iggy and Lemmy were thrown clear by the blast, rolling and bruising themselves mightily as they skidded to a stop against a bush. Iggy was out cold – a glance was all that was needed to confirm – and Lemmy looked like he'd been run through a meat grinder.

"Give up now, Hoppity!" Larry screeched through his megaphone. "You're flat on your back and I've still got tons of disposable soldiers!"

"Forget it!" Lemmy shouted, snatching a nearby abandoned shell and chucking it straight for Larry. He missed, but did manage to knock out one of the infamous Hammer Brothers.

"STEVE!" the other one shouted, shocked at seeing his compatriot downed. Unfortunately for him, that was the moment Peach chose to let fly a barrage of fireballs in his direction, and the distracted hammer-wielder joined his brother in unconsciousness.

"The tables have turned, you _baka!"_ Lemmy crowed, clutching his side as he recovered his sword. "Maybe you should be the one crying 'uncle'!"

"You're not my uncle," Larry volleyed. "And I ain't crying nothing! You will be in a minute!"

The pit of Lemmy's stomach disappeared when he glimpsed the glittering object in Larry's hand. "No... no, that's impossible, those – they were all returned to the governors of Mushroom World!"

"So I _was_ the only smart one," Larry gloated, twirling it and taking aim. "Why shouldn't I have made a fake wand with the _real _wand and let the knockoff get confiscated instead? But you guys never thought of that, did you?"

"That is the rightful property of my kingdom!" Peach shouted.

"Stuff it, sister! Do I look like I care?"

Lemmy dashed forward. Their attacker immediately fired several blasts of undiluted magic into the ground at his feet, but the younger Koopa was agile enough to avoid them.

"Won't you hold _still? _How have I not hit you yet?"

"And everybody thought all those years I spent on top of a circus ball were just for fun," Lemmy said with a grin as he vaulted into the air, tucking and rolling, then came out of it in a crouch. Just when it looked like he would be hit, he kicked a hapless Goomba into the air to bear the brunt. The tiny beast fell down, dazed.

"Gah! Take this, then!"

The following blast was too wide for Lemmy to escape; he hadn't expected its shift in shape. While he was still attempting to sit up, a hammer – left behind by one of the Brothers – was thrown directly into his face, bloodying his nose.

"Bulls-eye!" Larry crowed.

"You leave him alone!" Peach scolded, flinging fireballs with startling speed as she darted from cover to cover. Her long-range weapon would do her little good if she remained out in the open to be picked off herself.

"Why should I? _He's_ the traitor! Did I turn my back on my family and start helping our sworn enemy escape? Nope, that was Lemmy! Did I mysteriously 'fail' to find Kootie Pie when I took a quick trip to Dinosaur World, but instead found a conveniently-amnesic Bully? Nope, that was dear old Lemmy again! So tell me, why should I take it easy on him now when he's still actively trying to sabotage us?"

"Because... because he's only fighting for what he believes in! Because he's got a pure heart that hasn't been blackened like coal yet! And because I command you to in the name of the Mushrom Kingdom!"

Larry Koopa cackled harshly as he loosed a shot that found Peach's chest, sending her sprawling backward, pith helmet coming loose and revealing her tangled red locks and travel-sized crown. As she landed, the Fire Flower dropped from her free hand and instantly vanished; her power-up was gone, and with it her only fighting chance.

Or so Larry thought.

"I'm asking one last time," Peach said in a deadly-quiet voice that somehow carried over the battlefield. "Let us pass."

"Let me think about it. Hmm... nah! I don't take orders from whiny pink monkeys. And I don't care if King Dad grounds me for icing you instead of recapturing you, because it's your own stupid fault for pissing me off!"

"So be it."

Princess Toadstool reached up and removed her crown, looking somehow more under-dressed without it than if she'd removed her shirt. Fire-blackened fingernails scrabbled at the front of it, twisting the precious gold and silver out of shape. Larry casually took aim as she broke apart her own symbol of royalty... but he was too late.

"Chew on this, you slut!"

And she did. His aim was true, the blast hit her square in the face... and she didn't even flinch. There was no effect at all.

"_What?"_

"I've had just about enough," Peach growled as she strode purposefully toward the blockade, her entire body pulsing every color that comprises white. The star-shaped item in her palm slowly vanished as it bled into her, fused with her atoms and filled her up with unquantifiable might. "Your father squeezes his gut through a Warp Zone into _my _Kingdom, kidnaps my family, puts down roots in the corner and continuously lays siege to my castle whenever the mood strikes him... has the audacity to think I'd ever want to be his bride, and now here you are saying you don't take orders from, what was it again? What did you call me?"

The slack-jawed look on Larry's face was almost compensation enough. Almost. "Uhh..."

"Oh, that's right. A monkey. Centuries of peaceful rule, a monarchy that believes in true democracy and economic stability, and I'm just some primate swinging from the trees! What does that make you? A bastard son of a bastard who has no higher aspirations than _staying_ a bastard. Fine! I'd rather be a monkey than a lazy, uncouth philistine!"

She was almost there, and Larry knew if he stuck around he'd be toast. "Get away!" he yelped as he scrambled down the ladder, searching for the small flying ship he'd had parked there. But it was well-tethered. With a grimace, he recalled ordering the Troopas to double- and triple-check their knots. Really shot himself in the foot, there, didn't he? Frantically, he began clawing apart the knots, but then became distracted when a shadow fell over his face.

The monkey had climbed the wall.

"Come on, I didn't mean anything by- blame King Dad, he ordered me to- please, have mercy!"

"MERCY?" she screamed, unhinged. "Forget it! You had your chance, and that was one chance too many!" Without wasting any more words, she leaped down on him, pummeling with fists and feet that vibrated with raw energy. Larry clawed and elbowed at her, desperate to retaliate or escape, but nothing he did could hurt her in the slightest. She was Koopa-proof.

"Say goodnight, Larry!"

"Goodnight, Larry," he mumbled, head fogged and floating. Then her knuckles descended once more, and he was counting sheep.

Peach Toadstool stepped back, chest heaving, eyes wild and feral as she examined her handiwork. It unnerved her that she took some satisfaction in it, but she knew in the back of her mind it was only a pleasure in serving the forces of good. They had triumphed over darkness, and for once she had not been relaxing in her throne room waiting for Mario to uphold the law. Her own dainty fingers had nearly torn Larry's face apart, saving her newest ward in the doing. It felt...

It felt _super._

-o-o-o-o-

All of the tunnels looked the same.

That was the thought Mario kept coming back to with droning frequency when he stubbed his toe on a rock or conked his noggin on a stalactite; they didn't seem to be making any progress. Sure, this cave had to lead somewhere if Morton had been guarding it, but how long was it going to take before they saw the light of day again?

"Dang."

Their feeble light was suddenly gone, and in a repeat of the last three instances, Wendy's claws were digging through the thin fabric of his shirt sleeve and into his skin. "OW! Freakin' _frijoles_, didn't I just say you can't do that without poking me full of holes?"

"Sorry!" she hissed in his ear. "The last deep, dark cave I found myself in didn't do me a world of good, if you recall!"

Mario nodded as the striking of flint echoed in the cave; Toad was trying to light another candle. "I know, Wen, I know. But you gotta retract the ivory when you reach out, or I'll be asking Luigi for a blood donation."

"Fat chance, Bro," Luigi put in morosely. "You know I'm anemic. Gah, I just wish those flashlight batteries had held out longer than this."

A spark went up, but not one that ignited the candle. Toad cursed his luck. Taking brief advantage of the lack of light, Mario left a silent peck on Wendy's lips that caused her to shiver and cling yet tighter. "We'll get through this," he whispered.

"Of course we will," she said, full of false confidence. "We've got plenty of candles and enough yoshi fruit to gag a Sledge Brother. It's all good."

"Hey," Toad suddenly squeaked. "Does anybody else see that weird green glow from up ahead?"

Indeed, now that their eyes were slowly trying to adjust to the black of the tunnel, the glow was much easier to spot without their lamps to override it. The band of explorers slowly picked their way over the rocks toward it, and when they arrived they all held their collective breath. Wendy was the first to find her voice.

"A waterfall!"

Somehow, in the low light of the phosphorescent moss reflecting in facets of the uncut, untouched gemstones, the underground river spilling down the rocks was one of the most magical sights they'd ever come upon. It was entirely possible that no human in history had ever been privy to it – and precious few Koopas, for that matter. A rare wonder.

"Hey, what say we rest here for a while?" Luigi sighed, rubbing his lower back. "I've been hiking long enough to keep me away from the gym for a month."

"Sounds good to me, plumber dude," said Toad as he pocketed the candle; they wouldn't be needing it for a while yet.

"My dogs are barking up a storm," Mario admitted. "Fine, we take a breather. It won't do us any good to run ourselves ragged only to drop dead in one of those dark, uncharted tunnels."

A few minutes later found them lounging by the riverside, already having drank their fill of the mineral-saturated water and splashed a few handfuls on grubby faces. Wendy's head was in Mario's lap as her feet trailed in the water, her breathing slow and restful.

"Say, Mario."

"Yeah, Weege?"

"Remember that trip we took to Howe Caverns?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, readjusting his seat. Wendy stirred fitfully, but didn't complain. "How can anybody forget losing their last ten bucks to a bat?"

"Tyrone from the record store was the one who dragged us up there to begin with, and he was the one who wound up with the broken arm. We never did let him live it down!"

"Five months he had to wear that cast! Everybody told him to quit taking it off to play hockey..."

Both brothers laughed at the memory before falling silent. Luigi skipped a pebble across the surface of the water as he said, "We haven't seen Tyrone in a decade, man. I wonder if he even lives on the block anymore."

"Hey, the whole block could be gone by now. You can't go home again, right? Whole world keeps moving whether or not you're there to watch it go by."

"Pretty much."

"What I wouldn't give for a slice of street-corner pizza – or some halal food at three in the morning! Ah... maybe we should try opening a cart like that in Mushroom Village, bet it'd be a huge hit."

Luigi shrugged. "It's not a bad idea, but it wouldn't really be the same, y'know? Nobody knows the secret recipe for the white sauce."

"Yeah... yeah, that's true. What a burn."

"I'm sorry."

Both plumbers blinked at the words from the Koopa they'd both assumed was snoozing blissfully. "Uhh," Mario began, "for what, exactly?"

"What do you mean, 'for what'?" she breathed, and they could scarcely pick it up over the noise of running water. "If my father wasn't such an obstinate blowhard, then Mushroom Village wouldn't need any heroes. You guys could have gone home to your families years ago... to your friends and your kingdom and your freaking _lives_. Not to mention those ethnic dishes you were just talking about. By the way, you're making my stomach growl."

"How is any of that your fault?" Luigi asked, genuinely surprised at her point of view.

"Oh, it's not. But isn't it partially my responsibility as a Koopa? We blew in from parts unknown, we screwed everything up, and now we should be the ones making restitution. The sins of the father and all that junk. Nevermind that I went right along terrorizing with the rest of them, just because it was easier to follow status quo than think for myself."

"But you didn't," Mario told her firmly. "You're here with us now, not back there plotting the next world domination scheme."

"Yeah, but not because I had some brilliant flash of heroics," she told them with a weak laugh, still staring out over the river from her position on Mario's lap. "I ran because I was scared. I ran because I didn't wanna wait for the day when my father got so drunk he knocked my teeth out. I ran because... because I couldn't watch my older brothers growing up to be clones of the overbearing lizard I hated more than anyone in all the Worlds."

Nobody replied; out of the corner of his eye, Mario could see Toad had paused halfway through stretching, frozen by the stark regret in her words. It occurred to the red-capped plumber that neither of them had heard Wendy talking like this before, even though he had.

"So yeah, I'm sorry you're stuck here," she went on as she sat up, drawing her knees to her chin. "I'm sorry you can't go back to Earth Land because of my dad, and I'm sorry you're thumping around in smelly, pitch-black caves because of me. Not much I can do about it now, but... I figure if I can't even give you an apology, then I really must be a selfish bitch."

"Hey," Luigi began, "I didn't-"

"No, don't bother. I'm not saying this because I want your pity; I'm saying it because it's true and it oughtta be stated. So just... accept."

Everybody was quiet for a few more seconds before Toad said, "Are you outta your gourd?"

Mario gritted his teeth. "Toad, now is not the-"

"No, I'm serious. You think things'd be any better off if you didn't run away? You'd still be letting old dragon-breath run your life, getting picked on and hating every minute of it. At least you skedaddled, right?"

"Yep," she replied. "With my tail between my legs. A beaten dog."

"Beaten dogs who run away are the smart ones. It's the ones who still hang around their abusive masters who ain't got enough brains to fill an egg cup." When she looked over at him, eyebrows drawn together in confusion, he shrugged and said, "What? You really looking for somebody to blame you for being born? Pick some other direction, lady."

"B-but..." Wendy blinked, looked away, then shook her head. "No, wait a damn minute. Shouldn't you be telling me I have a lot to answer for, since half the crap I pulled was against _your_ people? I was one of the bad guys, and I only defected becau-"

"Yeah, yeah, I read the transcript," Toad grumbled. "But you're no more to blame for Bowser dropping in fashionably uninvited than my Aunt Tilly. And yeah, we're on vacation in Dinosaur World because Marinara Man was trying to scare up a safehouse – but if it hadn't been for you, it'd have been Peach, or some other girl who ran away from his creepy claws. Might as well be you as not."

Wendy was thunderstruck. Her blue eyes weren't blinking anymore, and they slowly moved to point at Luigi. "You... I mean, for real? You don't wanna stick my head on a pike?"

"Nah," Luigi said easily, taking off his hat to stare at the brim idly. "Maybe I'm not about to become president of your fan club, but you've been good people ever since you went AWOL from the Keep. Everybody deserves at least a second chance... and once in a while, even a third."

"You shouldn't even have to ask me," Mario put in.

Wendy began shivering as if she'd caught a chill. Mario put his arm around her, and they waited for her to start crying or something, but eventually she just whispered, "Now I really am sorry, because this must seem like a weird reaction. Being terrified."

"Why are you terrified?"

"I'm used to nobody being able to tolerate me. It comes from how spoiled rotten I was as a little girl – who could stand that? Even since then... well, I mean I had Lemmy on my side, but he was an individual – and so was Mario, when he agreed to help me with my paradigm shift. But this is more like... it won't make much sense to say it out loud, but suddenly it's not just _persons_ who don't hate me. It's _people._ Nobody's... I've never been liked before, and it scares me, because I got no way to handle that." Now the tears began to fall. "Because it smells like a trap. That's what I'm used to, so that's how I see it even though I know that's not the case this time. But how can I convince my instincts that they're wrong? How can I start trusting after eighteen years of lies and subterfuge?"

Mario let out a sigh through his nostrils. "Wendy..."

"And now I'm whining," she half-laughed. "Great. Big brave whiner."

"Whine away," Luigi told her without pause. "It'd probably do you more good to get it off your chest than it might inconvenience us to listen. What else have we got to do today?"

"Rescue a princess," she answered his would-be rhetorical question. "Also my fault."

"That's not-"

"Yes it _is!"_ Now she looked angry at them – angry for them not understanding, or for pretending not to. "Didn't you read the note? He took her to exchange for me! Just to get me back into the fold! If I had stayed at the Keep, Peach wouldn't-"

"Peach would still be kidnapped," Toad sighed miserably. "Face it, Hairbow: no matter what new leaf you turn over, Bowser's still going to be a predatory prick. Totally out of your hands, and not your mess to clean up because of your blood. Yeesh, show a little of that Kootie Pie backbone you used to have – _own_ your independence! Didn't you escape to undercut Daddy Dearest in the first place?"

A curious look stole across Wendy's face at that. At first, Mario thought it was because Toad had called her by the annoying pet name from her childhood, but then he realized it was something he hadn't seen anyone have in a while. An epiphany.

"You're right," she said, pushing to her feet, fists clenched at her sides. "Here I am, sitting around feeling sorry for myself, pouting and moping about stuff I can't change. But there's stuff I _can_ be doing – like trying to spring the princess. Like kicking ass and taking names! Like sticking it to that old drunkard for trying to warp and ruin his own children! He's not my father anymore – he's no father at all! So he can keep his name and his lineage and his delusions of conquest, because I... I am Wendy Orlean, and I'm nobody's Koopa anymore!"

This shocked all three of them – the least part of which was learning what the infamous "O" stood for. She had completely renounced the name of Koopa once and for all, not even keeping it attached whatsoever. It was an even larger step along the road to freedom.

"We've rested long enough," she snapped at them, reaching out a hand to Mario. He gladly accepted, grinning at her upswing in attitude; _that _was more like it. "Peach is out there waiting for the rescue squad, and it looks like we're it. Let's mobilize!"

With indulgent smirks, Luigi and Toad rose and saluted. "Yes _SIR, _Ma'am!" Luigi joked.

Then they were headed deeper and deeper into the cave, though the darkness no longer seemed to swallow them up as it did before. If anything, it shrank from the advancing light of the crusaders like a creature that knows when to mind its own business.

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: So yes, the Bob Dylan reference in the chapter title was more aimed at the reminiscing the Mario Bros. did in the cave, but for me this chapter is _mostly_ about the fight Princess Toadstool manages to win all by herself (well, almost by herself; Iggy and Lemmy were on her side up to a point). On the other hand, both women experience an important step in their growth here via different avenues, a step toward independence and inner strength. Feminism is alive and well in Dinosaur World. And now I'm just analyzing this to death.

Part of the reason I started commenting so heavily on what I was writing at the bottom of each chapter is due to the **Ratfist** webcomic. Just put a Dotcom after the name and you'll find an amazing (free) daily-updated comic book written by the creator of Earthworm Jim, Doug TenNapel. It's 124 pages and counting! If I were a better artist that would be the kind of thing I'd like to try someday... but maybe I should stick to writing, haha.


	13. Bread and Butter

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 13: Bread and Butter

The outer surface of the blockade buckled and exploded, sending shards of wood and stone everywhere and clattering along the ground. Lemmy glanced up from where he was trying to revive a snoring Iggy, afraid he was about to see another dozen Paratroopers and a Fire Brother or two, but instead there was only Princess Peach holding a magic wand.

Wait... _the_ _magic wand._ How did she get it away from him?

"That's one blue-haired brother taken care of," Peach panted as her glow began to fade. The effects of the power-up had been exhausted. "And... and I used the last of my invincibility to destroy that stupid wall. Now we can head up the cliff."

Lemmy stood slowly, breath coming in laboring gasps. "Peach... I don't mean to pry, but... what exactly did you do to Larry?"

"Killed him." His gasp made her laugh. "Well, I probably could have, but I just made sure he was unconscious, then used the ropes anchoring his airship to anchor _him._ It's better than he deserved."

"This... is a side of you I'm not used to seeing, Majesty. You really would have been okay with ending his life by your own hands?"

A flicker of rage passed over her calm countenance. "He tried to murder you. All of us; you and Iggy are his own flesh and blood, and he turned the wand on you anyway. That's deplorable. Surely, I'm glad he'll have to live with the consequences of his crimes, but if he had lost his life in the battle... well, I'd rather have inadvertently done him in than allowed you to be... you to be k-kill..."

Lemmy placed a hand on her shoulder, stricken by the pain in her voice, but then she was striding straight past him to the spot where she'd fallen. Her eyes widened in horror and she fell to her knees, dropping the wand and scooping up the twisted remains of her crown.

"Princess...?"

"Mom told me never to use it," she blubbered, voice crazed, forlorn. "She... she s-said only if my life was in danger, if there was n-no other way... and I... and I just wasted it today, I wasted my safety net!"

"Peach-"

"It was the last secret, Lemmy! The last thing my parents had left to show me! Now... now they're gone, they're really gone, I can't ever learn anything else from them anymore and I... I'm..." After a few quick, shallow breaths, her voice dropped to a whisper. "Now this princess is truly alone."

"Don't say that," he told her as he knelt next to her, pulling her to his chest. "Listen, it's... maybe you can have it repaired when you get back to the castle."

"Are you cracked? Look at it! I couldn't have ruined it more if it were intentional! And where am I going to dig up another Starman to hide inside it?"

"There are plenty of Starmen in the Mushroom Kingdom," he soothed. "Sooner or later I'll find you one – and I can bring it back safely without absorbing it, since Koopas can't use those power-ups like humans can."

Peach pressed her forehead against Lemmy's neck, too distraught to cry. She just huddled there like a cat left out in the rain, trying to find shelter. His hand found the back of her head and held it there as he rocked her slowly, shushed and made other calming noises, promising under his breath that it would be allright, that they could undo the damage she had wrought to save their lives.

"Heavens, I'm so glad you made it," she whispered at long last. "I was so worried that he'd really done it, that he'd- that you were-"

"Cut that out," he told her firmly. "Nobody killed anybody today. We're all fine – even Larry, no thanks to you."

"I'll make sure you're well-guarded from now on," she told him, drawing back to show him the fierce determination in her eyes. "Nobody's going to lay a hand on you once you're in my castle, just you wait and see. This worrying about _fratricide_ of all things, it's unacceptable! Not when you're as... as beautiful, and perfect as you are, you shouldn't be a target – how evil does a person have to be to take a look at you and still decide to attack?"

Lemmy blanched. "Your Majesty, please, you're starting to-"

"The last man I met who was as decent and noble as you... was from Brooklyn and wore overalls. And the time before that? It was my father, Lemmy. Three men in all my life who I'd consider putting my life into their hands."

"Peach," he breathed, at a loss. "Do you... really mean these things?"

"More than you know. God help me, I trust a Koopa – I _more_ than trust you."

Lemmy stretched his hand to her cheek, but he stopped short to stare at his scales, at the claws extending. He was a reptile reaching out for a mammal. In spite of the fire that burned in her belly, she was fragile and delicate, and he was rough and unclean. There had to be someone else better suited to touch her, no matter where they might be. What made him think he could ever have the right? He really was a moron.

But Peach leaned into his hand, she cupped it to her cheek and closed her eyes contentedly at the sensation. Perhaps she'd sensed his thought patterns, perhaps she merely desired the closeness. Either way, it carried the same meaning to him: she did not see him that way. She only saw him as Lemmy, the one she trusted. The one she'd broken her priceless heirloom to protect.

Pulling away, he picked up the crown and stood, walked back to where they had begun their battle and found the sack of supplies. In one quick movement, Lemmy flipped it open and placed the crown inside among the other contents. "There. We won't speak about it again until we're safely away from Dinosaur World and can do something about fixing it."

As he turned back to rejoin her, he staggered when he found her weight in his arms, and his knees nearly buckled to feel lips on his, to feel a tongue seeking out his own. Legs had wrapped around his waist, and he reflexively dropped one hand to her bottom – and instantly, he felt her entire body go rigid. He should not have done that, he couldn't touch there! What was she going to do?

"It's okay," she breathed into him. "You're... keeping me from falling, I understand."

"You should get down immediately," he hissed, eyes flitting this way and that. The flesh within her khaki shorts was so pliable and firm against his palm... "Someone could catch us like this at any moment, and then what will-"

"I'm thanking you for rescuing me. And I reserve the right to thank you again and again, whenever I'm reflecting especially hard on your altruism."

"But I'm- _mmph!"_

The next kiss was longer than the others, and full of heavy breathing and frantic movements of hands. Sweat poured in buckets as they slowly sank to the ground, exposed in the open battlefield and uncaring; if any Goombas woke up and saw them, what would it matter, really?

"Peach, this is a mistake," he grunted as she began to unbutton her shirt, struck anew by how she was advancing things at blinding speed. "Anybody who walks by-"

"I can't think about that right now," she whispered as it fell open, exposing a silken camisole; the last line of defense. "There are so many things to think about, but none of them matter, don't you see? My brain just refuses to listen to my heart, so my heart is taking command! I want to continue what we started this morning!"

"You told me it never happened!" he went on, beyond tempted but unwilling to allow everything to be swept under the rug by a single moment's indiscretion.

"To hell with that! We're both consenting adults, and we're both ready for this! Why wait?"

"But we're adults from different-"

"This makes twice I almost lost you," she whispered, voice breaking even behind her urgent need. "I don't want the third time to take you from me before we can..."

At that, her hands stilled; they had been readying to shrug off her khaki shirt and now instead lingered on her chest as she fought back fresh tears. Lemmy understood all too well; much the same as he, Peach still wasn't sure how she felt about him other than that the feelings seemed to be potent. However, if they had no tomorrow, what would it matter if today they made some enormous mistake?

A bleak outlook... and one that prompted rash action.

But still he held her at arm's length against the dirt beneath, panting and sweating. "I... Peach, no. We can't. Not now."

"Why?" she pleaded, eyes streaming. "It's all I want in the world! To be with you!"

"No, it's not," he hissed frantically, heart in his throat. She had said she wanted to be with him! Had she taken a whack to the skull? On second thought, maybe _he _was the one with severe brain trauma; the words that would normally make perfect sense only sounded like gobbledygook to his ears. They couldn't be together, could they? Impossible. And anyway, now was not the time to ponder it.

For a long moment, she just glared up at him, enraged that he contradicted her, that he didn't believe her. Then her face slowly slackened. No, as deeply as she desired this, it _wasn't_ all she wanted in the world – and remembering that was like ripping off a scab, exposing the wound to the open air. "I... oh God, I almost flushed it all away... I actually almost forgot about my people."

"Please, just for a minute, think rationally. You and I... whatever this is, it's not worth leaving your kingdom without its leader. And it's not worth squandering your virginity on someone who is unworthy."

At the word "virginity", Peach's face grew even redder than before, but what she said was, "Who says you're unworthy? Certainly not I. But... we are in the middle of an open battlefield, surrounded by carnage and with not one, but _two _of your siblings within earshot. So we will wait. WAIT," she repeated when she saw the discomfort in his face. "Not cancel, not postpone indefinitely. This game is being called on account of _reign_. We'll have our rematch soon."

"Majesty-"

"When you're kneeling on top of a half-clothed woman, it's impolite _not _to call her by her first name," she said with a hint of a shy smile.

Lemmy's first instinct was to roll off as quickly as he might and apologize, but instead he reached inward and began buttoning up her shirt for her. "Sorry... Peach."

Her eyelashes fluttered at him, and she looked away with the leakage of bittersweet rolling down her cheeks and making tiny mud puddles on either side of her head. She was ashamed of how bold she'd been, and with every passing second she kicked herself more because she had forced someone else to step in and be the level-headed one.

"What am I doing as a monarch? I can't even rule over my emotions, much less a kingdom."

"You've been through a lot lately," he understated.

"I'm letting somebody dress me, like I can't dress myself." When his hands stilled, she placed her own atop them. "And all I want is f-for you to be doing the opposite, but... but we can't. You are right about that, no matter how much I loathe it."

"Peach, listen; I... maybe I can admit that we've got something going on between us. Not that I have any real experience with women. But what good can come of it if you're dating the son of your enemy? I'm just some pestilence, some-"

"You're a godsend, Lemmy." Her hand shot up when his mouth opened and closed it with gentle fingertips. "The only reason I'm not currently mildewing in the dungeons is because you have that warrior's heart in there. All I want is to be kind to it in any way I can. Nurture it, make it grow, bring it up to be ferocious and just, and... and I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, but it's all true and it's all how I feel. So don't belittle my opinion. I am a princess, y'know."

For some reason, when she put it that way, he had to lean in and kiss her again. But this time it was not fraught with danger and manic intensity, but a quiet, smoldering warmth. Passions rose in steam, but nothing came of them. Before long, he was sitting back just an inch, and her eyes were boring into his, so close he could almost _hear _it when they blinked...

"I know," he said huskily. "And you are. And so do I."

"So do you... what?"

A quick grin. "I don't know, either."

Then he fell beside her, splayed on his back, and they both stared at the clouds in the sky for a long while, not speaking and not moving and scarcely breathing. Soon enough, they would need to get up to ensure that reinforcements didn't arrive and catch them sleeping, but they could spare an hour. Just until Iggy woke up.

They neither mentioned nor examined the fact that the two of them held hands all the while.

-o-o-o-o-

"Tell me something."

"No."

Luigi turned back to look at Wendy. "Whaddaya mean, 'no'?"

"No," she repeated with a raised eyebrow. "Why should I agree to tell you something before I know what you wanna know?"

"Real comedienne," Toad muttered.

"Just outta curiosity," Luigi went on slowly, jarred by her response. "What kinda hobbies are you into? I mean, we know you _don't _like wreaking havoc on mushroom-kind, so what _do_ you like doing besides reading and ditching your deadbeat dad?"

"Yeah," Toad chuckled. "There's a few nightclubs back in the Village that could use some fresh stand-up acts; you'd be a natural."

Wendy bit her lip for a moment as they clung to the cave wall, waiting for the violent wind to cease before they bothered to try sidling along the narrow ledge any further. "Well... I like to bake."

"_Bake?"_ three voices cried in unison.

"Yeah, bake!" she snapped, annoyed at their disbelief. "You got a problem with that?"

"Of course not," Mario said. "Only that you never said... I mean, yeah, I remember you buying all that flour and pound after pound of butter, but I guess I didn't-"

"That's on you, garlic breath," she laughed. "Don't you remember the pie? We had it after your lasagna the second night I slept at your house."

Mario avoided her eyes. "I thought that was from Jensen's Market."

Wendy glowered at him, even as the wind picked up and she had to dig her claws more heavily into the rock face. "Well, ain't that special. I poured my blood, sweat and tears into that pie, and you think I threw a few coins at some checkout jockey!"

"Ewww," Toad drawled. "You made a Blood, Sweat and Tears Pie?"

"Shaddap, fungus!"

"Seriously," Luigi said, drawing her attention back to the question, "how long have you been baking?"

"Hmm... maybe since I was ten or eleven." Now that the wind had died down, Wendy carefully began removing her boots and stashing them in her pack; all sixteen claws would certainly be of help in this situation. "Probably about to label myself as a sentimental sap, but I was in a long-abandoned room in a long-abandoned wing of the Keep, rifling through a box of my mother's old books and looking for something else to read, and I came across her cookbook. It was one of a handful of things that survived my father's wrath. The more I leafed through it and read her little notes on things, changing this ingredient out for one she'd tested and found to work better, bumping up the amount of sugar to make something sweeter... the more I became convinced that it was her passion. It was her life."

After a few seconds of melancholy silence, Mario cleared his throat. "So, um, I guess you started trying out her recipes?"

"Why shouldn't I have? Nothing else to do in that drafty old pile of bricks."

"Good point."

"You should try her pull-apart bread." A twinkle of amusement entered her baby blues. "You'll melt. I mean it, you'll melt dead away into a puddle of happiness."

Toad grunted, "Now you're makin' _my_ stomach growl, Miss Chef Extraordinaire."

"Well, I'm not so great at inventing my own recipes yet," Wendy admitted sheepishly. "But I'm getting there, little by little. Which is why I kept asking you two about that 'pizza' of yours – I wanna learn how to make the dough."

Luigi's face lit up. "You're gonna help us make pizza? Oh, there _is_ a God who rules over the other dimensions!"

"Sure," she laughed, pleased by his reaction. "I love trying new stuff, but what's the big deal? Haven't you ever made a pizza in Mushroom World?"

"Well... not exactly."

"None of the fungus seem to share our love of well-seasoned cuisine," Mario explained quietly. "So good luck finding oregano and basil in a Village shop."

"I heard that!" Toad squeaked. "And it ain't because we're racist against humans, we just have sensitive palates!"

Mario leaned over to speak in Wendy's ear. "You got no clue how bad I wanna find the biggest, spiciest jalapeño pepper in the universe and try it out on Toad. Usually the desire is stronger when he's being a huge pain in the-"

"Hey, look!"

All of their attentions were suddenly focused on the ladder up ahead. A genuine ladder! Maybe it would lead up and out of their current strife. Maybe their luck was turning around.

Just as they began advancing at a quicker pace, anxious to be done with this leg of their journey, a gust of wind buffeted them and caught Mario's cape, blowing him free of the ledge. So much for luck.

Without even a nanosecond's pause, Wendy lunged, grasping his ankles, but then realized she was no longer holding onto the wall. As her pack swung wildly and bashed her in the side of the head, she desperately dug into the ground with the claws on her feet, leg muscles bulging as she fought for purchase and found it, but only just.

"_MARIO!"_

"I got him!" Wendy answered the worried brother. "B-but you're gonna have to haul us up, I can't- I c-can't do it, I'm not strong enough to move both of us!"

Mario was presently pulling himself up her arms, hand over hand; he was strong enough to do more than flail in the breeze. As he held on with one hand, he raised the other and untied the bothersome cape, allowing it to be swept away. He hated to lose such a gem, but at this point keeping it would only serve to drag him to his demise far, far below.

"Just hang on, you guys!" Luigi was saying as he inched his way back, Toad following in his wake; the latter had taken to using a climber's axe after the first few gales had almost sent him into the bottomless pit, and that had been all that saved him this time. "We'll get you up here!"

"Mario, don't let go," she pleaded, eyes wide. For good measure, she grabbed handfuls of his overalls and white-knuckled. "If you let go, I'll- you're gonna get it, I swear!"

"You're threatening to hurt me if I die?" he laughed, too beside himself to be truly afraid. "That makes a helluva lotta sense, Wen."

"Stop dicking around!"

"Okay," Luigi called out, "we got a rope knotted to the climbing axe, and as soon as it's anchored we're gonna throw the other end to Mario; then he can climb up that, and I'll spot Wendy to make sure her, uh, claws don't give out!"

As the two on solid ground worked to save the two in midair, Wendy whispered, "You're going to be allright in a few minutes. Everything will be totally fine! It has to be!"

"I know, Wendy." For a while they hung there, listening to the sounds of a metal pick being shoved through rock, feeling the wind batter their bodies. "Listen-"

"No," she spat out instantly, the very moment she caught the tone of his voice. "Screw that, I don't wanna hear any goodbyes, even 'just in case we don'ts' or whatever!"

"But-"

"_NO. _Tell me on solid ground, or forget it. I'm not gonna let you use this as an excuse to chicken out. Promise me we'll both make it out alive, okay?"

Mario gazed up into her concerned eyes, at the orange hair windmilling around her head as she fought to keep him from careening into the abyss, and he wanted to kiss her again. But he didn't have the strength to pull himself up that high. It made his heart sick to know that if this was the end, he couldn't even do that much.

"Guys, my toes are gettin' tired!" Wendy wailed impatiently.

"Rope's comin' right... _now!"_

It bapped him in the face, and Mario grabbed it on the second swing. For one frightening moment, he began to slip downward, but then he had it in both hands, kinked slightly, and his purchase was much stronger. "Need a lift?" he panted at Wendy.

"Up you get. I can make my own way."

As Mario climbed, he watched Wendy slowly drift closer to the wall. As soon as she reached it, her hands gouged in and stuck fast. This was the moment he was most struck by her similarity to a common lizard as she scurried backward – not with the blinding, instinct-guided movements of a true iguana but commendably fast and sure-footed. She actually climbed above the ledge, then turned and lowered herself onto it, panting.

"Ugh, that sucked," she was heaving, licking her dry lips.

"You okay?" Mario whispered to her. When he saw her nod, he pressed his lips to the side of her head as briefly as he could, and saw her try a lackluster smile on him. She was shaken, but they were both alive. Thanks to her.

"I got two pieces of free advice for ya," Luigi gusted, wiping his brow. "One: you don't need any boots when spelunking, 'cause I've never seen anybody recover from a fall like that. Stick with the talons. And two: you, uh... really should think about shorts on our next wilderness adventure."

"You _perv!"_ she shouted, mouth hanging slack. "You were looking... how could you _do _that?"

"It wasn't all that difficult," Toad told her. "Think of it as a new extreme sport called 'watch where you're aiming the rope at Mario and try _not_ to remember the color of Wendy's undies'."

"Somehow, I don't think that's coming to ESPN," Luigi quipped.

"Mario, are you gonna let them talk about me like that?" she demanded. "I mean, this is my- oh, I feel queasy, I can't believe they saw!"

Mario nodded grimly, then whirled on his brother and Toad. Luigi couldn't remember the last time his big brother had a steady girlfriend; how jealous could he get exactly? But then Mario's arms were crossed as he barked, "Allright, guys, fess up. What color were they?"

Luigi and Toad were too busy laughing to hear the string of colorful curses Wendy flung at the poor rescuee, which he weathered with grace as they made for the ladder. Probably just as well.

-o-o-o-o-

"Made it!"

Iggy accepted Lemmy's hand up as they reached the crest of the cut-stone stairs that led up and through the cliff face. It had taken hours of tireless hiking in the glaring light, but now they were at the top. Barely.

"We gotta... catch our breath," Peach was heaving from her spot on the ground nearby. "Or we'll just... freaking expire."

That was about all the prompting the Koopa brothers needed to collapse. The afternoon sun seared them, the air was thinner at this height, and every muscle they owned was inflamed – and that was atop the aches and pains of battle. But the sun was drawing closer to the horizon, and it wouldn't be long before they could at least be free of the heat.

"What... does the sign say?" It was Peach who asked, squinting. She couldn't seem to get her eyes to focus. Iggy sat up and adjusted his glasses.

"'Butter Bridge – 2 M'."

"A bridge now," Lemmy grunted as he popped his neck; a shiver of relief passed through his entire back. "Well... we can brave that... in the morning. I'd love to put some distance between us and Larry, but I can't even... conceptualize going any further."

"Ditto," Iggy panted. "I'm pooped. My eyebrows hurt. I'm hungry. Either feed me and let me go to sleep, or knock me off the cliff so I don't have to suffer anymore."

Peach sighed, rubbing at her face. "These hiking boots are top of the line, hand-stitched material from Earth Land, and I still managed to get blisters on my blisters – and my calf muscles are going to look like _bricks_ by the time this is over."

"You want a massage, Majesty?" Lemmy offered with a laugh. "Work out all those knots."

"Absolutely," she answered honestly, then laughed herself. "But let's worry about dinner first. What have we got left in the pack?"

"Yoshi fruit." As the other two groaned, Iggy picked through their meager stores again. "Salt, wild mushrooms... a can of beans... that's about it."

"I though it would last longer." Lemmy frowned, using his wooden sword to struggle to a sitting position. "I know we had a lot more food when we set out... where did it all go? Are three people really that voracious?"

"It's not Peach's fault," Iggy grudgingly admitted. "She eats like a bird. It has to be you."

"Why couldn't it be _you? _Always sneaking little midnight snacks; I've caught you at it a thousand times, so I wouldn't be-"

"The food is _gone,_" the princess snapped. "Arguing about where it went won't make it reappear. So let's just... crack open that can of beans. The protein will fill us up and give us energy for tomorrow's hike. We can throw in the mushrooms, too, give it added interest."

The three bone-weary pilgrims slowly went about preparing supper, bickering occasionally but mostly being too tired to care. Once they had eaten, their dispositions toward each other improved, though that also brought about worries over what they might eat the next time a meal was in order. Finding any wild fruit or vegetables in such a mountainous region wasn't as likely as in the forest. How long would it take for them to reach the finish line of this ordeal?

Lemmy, Iggy and Princess Toadstool curled up around their dwindling campfire to catch some sleep, unaware that they were already so close...

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: The stuff between Peach and Lemmy in the beginning is some of the most romantic stuff I've ever written. It started out as just another scene, but when I reread it to spellcheck I was like "WHOA... where'd all that come from?" I also liked writing about Wendy's baking; I'd been wanting to touch on her hobbies and interests for a while and it seemed like a long, boring trek across Dinosaur World would be the natural time for it to come up in casual conversation. Mmm, pull-apart bread...


	14. Cutoff Genes

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 14: Cutoff Genes

Wendy was awoken by the feeling of a hand sliding over her stomach. Her heart, mind and entire body were instantly alert; what was this? Who would dare start doing this to an unconscious woman?

But the hand never strayed from her stomach into more dangerous areas, continued to stroke gently, petting her. After a few seconds, she began trembling as dismay set in; it could be _anyone._ Visions of Roy and leashes assaulted her, older memories of past trauma joined in, and sweat began to bead on her forehead. Her throat tensed to scream...

"Shh," came Mario's voice in her ear – she knew it was his instantly. "Morning."

Instantly, she relaxed into the touch, smiling. It was _he._ The one she didn't mind. Maybe if it was him more often, she could retrain herself – overwrite her involuntary fear with happiness someday.

Her next thought was that it was pitch black. Why? She knew why, but it took her a second to shake the memory loose: caves. They were still in those damnably-eternal tunnels, trying to work their way up and out the other side. Before bunking down for the night (if it was truly even night; all they had to rely upon to gauge the passage of time were their internal clocks), the group had made sure they were all arranged relatively closeby and snuffed the candle. Until Toad woke up, nobody was going to see anything anytime soon.

And Mario didn't seem to mind that fact in the slightest.

"Stop," she whispered back, voice nearly silent; if she spoke any louder, she might wake Luigi and Toad, and the last thing she wanted was for them to overhear their conversation.

"Why?"

"You said you d-didn't want this now," she went on, finding it harder and harder to keep talking about the subject without raising her voice, without allowing her pleasure to show. "So back off."

"I'm not trying to _do _anything," he promised her. "I just..."

"You just what? Do you know what it means to stroke a Koopa's underbelly?"

"Nnnot really."

At that, she had to smile. No, he probably didn't. "It's... not all that different than playing with my tail, if you know what I mean."

"Oh... like the, uh... erogenawhatever."

She nodded; the feeling of her hair's movements told her that he could probably tell she was nodding. "It's not like you're setting off fireworks, but it's still a really, _really_ intimate feeling. Like a kiss. And if we're not supposed to be kissing, then..."

Therefore, Mario's hand halted, but he did not take it away. Instead, his other hand joined it, and he was spooning her, nestling his stubbly chin against the hollow where neck met shoulder. The whiskers chafed on her skin, and still she loved it, still she welcomed it gladly. "Sorry. You should come with an instruction manual."

"When this is all over, we're gonna sit down and have a real discussion," she told him firmly, her own hands coming to rest against his. "About what does and doesn't set me off. You'll need to learn that, because... I think I've made up my mind. Just waiting on you, slowpoke."

Mario grinned; she could feel his cheeks bunching against her own. "Yeah, I gotta admit I'm pretty much there. It's just- well, maybe I've got weird hangups, but it feels wrong to be debating this stuff while Peach is out there somewhere, trapped and waiting to be un-trapped."

"No, it's okay," she soothed, clutching his hands tighter. "But I'm looking at it a different way."

"What way is that?"

"Knowing that we could be captured, held prisoner by someone, maybe even tortured and executed if the captor was in the right mood... it's like, why wait? Why dance around it instead of just grabbing onto the love while you can?"

They both stiffened; the dreaded L-word. From nowhere, it had dropped like a Bob-Omb.

"Oops. God, I-I-I'm n-not-"

"No, don't," Mario told her warmly, squeezing her with his arms, holding her as close as possible. His voice shook slightly, and she could hear his pulse quicken, but his tone was sober and earnest. "Don't act like you did or said something wrong. In fact, it sounds just right to me."

As they lay there together, Wendy heard him inhaling deeply, drawing in her scent. Maybe he hadn't been exaggerating when he claimed he enjoyed her aroma. Now that she had been made aware of that quirky factoid, every time he sniffed her she paid attention, seeing that he really did revel in it, that he sought it out. It made her self-conscious about her odor, but at the same time an odd sense of pride welled up in her. There was something uniquely _hers_ that captivated Mario. Would he ever be able to find someone else, even if he decided he couldn't be with her? Someone else whose scent would excite him like this? Probably not. No two people – be they Koopa or human or mushroom or whatever – had the same combination of food preference, body spoor, bathing practices, perfumes, soap used to wash their clothes... the possibilities were so wide and varied.

On impulse, she turned her head and buried her nose in his hair for a minute. She almost laughed when she decided there was nothing all that special about his smell: _man._ Sweat and metal from tools, and functional shampoo. Oh, she most certainly liked it, because she liked him – and because she was a heterosexual female. There was this hairy, spongy hint lacing through it that she wasn't used to because he was mammalian, and she wanted to say it was unpleasant but nothing could be further from the truth. That he didn't smell like her father or her brothers... next to his selfless attitude, it was the most refreshing thing about him.

Wendy wanted Mario to belong to her and her alone.

For a long while they lay together in the darkness, and Wendy's heart ached as it danced because she had what she wanted. Maybe it wasn't complete yet, and he didn't reciprocate, but everything had become so clear that she saw no reason to keep worrying. If nothing went wrong, if she didn't screw up and lose him, then she had a chance. That was good enough for now.

The time came when Luigi sat up and yawned, and she felt Mario tense – but he didn't pull away. Not yet. Instead, he held her tighter, buried his face in her neck. Of their own accord, her claws inched out and stabbed into his hands, and though he flinched he did not reprimand her or pull away. Did he understand? Did he know how possessive her gesture was and what it meant?

"Sorry," she whispered with tears in her voice. She really was. She didn't want to force his decision, to smother him with her own needs so much that he felt he had no real choice to begin with. That wasn't how it was supposed to work; she wanted him to have plenty of room to think, to come to her on his own. Mario's lips pushed into her hair, and she knew she was forgiven... but not by herself. No, she'd overstepped a little. Something to watch out for.

"Mario?"

"Hmmh?" Mario said, feigning sleepiness. "Whazz goin' on, Weege?"

"Hey, Toad," Luigi grunted, and they heard the sound of something or other being scratched idly. "Toad, wake up and give us some light."

"Hah?" the mushroom sighed. But Luigi must have poked or kicked him, for the next thing out of his mouth was, "Okay, _okay! _Can't you guys wait five seconds for me to drop out of REM sleep?"

"Get a candle going so we can eat, or start walking or something."

"Keep your pants on, string bean."

As they heard the contents of a pack being shifted around, Wendy began to pull away from Mario's arms – but he held her back. Distress almost seized her right then – no, she wouldn't be held down, she wasn't a helpless victim, they didn't have the right to – but she calmed by reminding herself that it was just Mario, then turned to ask, "What?"

But Mario was simply hugging her. It wasn't one of those "Hey, chum, I haven't seen you since our school days" hugs, but more like a "You've gone off to war and left me all alone in this house and I can't believe it's been six months since your last approved leave, honey." Clingy and desperate and urgent and frightening. When she realized she could feel his heart pounding right up against hers, she nearly lost it and started bawling all over him, but what good would it do? So instead she hugged back, put her hand on his neck and ground their foreheads together, their breath coming in ragged gasps.

"Soon," he promised. She nodded, sniffling, and then he kissed her.

"Got it!" Toad crowed as light flared up, momentarily blinding all present. Both he and Luigi swung their heads in the direction of the two lovers... and stopped dead in shock.

"What?" Mario asked, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. Wendy was resting across the tunnel from him, but now she stirred and propped herself up on one elbow. "Guys, why the crazy looks?"

"Dunno," Luigi said uncomfortably. "Guess we just... I dunno, expected to see more of a-"

"_PERV," _Wendy accused again with a wide yawn.

"No, that's not what I-"

"Got you dead to rights, _paesan,_" Mario guffawed. Luigi sulked and turned his back on them.

-o-o-o-o-

In another region of Dinosaur World, a similar scene was unfolding. Peach had awoken to find herself curled up next to Lemmy, arms around his middle. She must have done it during the night. Luckily for her she was embracing him from the front, as she would likely be spilling blood all over them if she'd snuck around the other direction to get a faceful of spikes.

'I really do have it bad,' she reprimanded herself as she sighed against his collarbone – or where it might be if not for the shell. 'What am I doing? He's not even awake to ward me off this time. I'm such a despicable person...'

But any casual observer would instantly have known that she wasn't. The proof of this was the way she slowly inched backward and sat up, holding herself apart. Taking advantage wasn't how she was going to win him... if that's what she wanted at all. It was, of course, but wanting it was so ill-advised that she felt the need to question herself continuously.

As she began to stand up, shaking her head and trying to still her heart, it shot back into her mouth as she found herself nose to nose with Iggy.

Seconds passed with them frozen, Peach's face glowing crimson, Iggy glaring at her as if she were the worst kind of scum. Then she stood and walked toward boulder situated on the edge of their makeshift campsite. Upon reaching it, she turned and motioned him to follow.

"What?" he asked once he'd joined her. "What do you want? As if you didn't already get it."

"Mind your tongue!" she snapped, voice quiet. "Just because I'm willing to discuss this with you doesn't mean I'll let you be crass."

"You got to my brother. I'll talk to you however I want."

"_Got to_ him?" Peach felt herself growing colder by the moment. "I'm not a virus. I didn't _infect_ him."

"That's how he acts! Like he's sick, like you... like you wiggled your hips at him and hyp-ma-tized him!" The princess cracked a brief smile at his mispronunciation. "You better fix him, put him back the way he was, or else I'm gonna-"

"That is enough. Your brother is not hypnotized, or poisoned or drugged or anything else. I... I can't explain why he's different to you, but it's something you should tell _him._"

"Then why am I over here, talking to you?"

"Because," she went on through gritted teeth, "you seemed like you had something to say to me. And I didn't want that to wake him up; he's exhausted."

"No more than the rest of us."

"YES, more than the rest of us! He had barely recovered from the last near-death experience before dear Larry reared his ugly head, and then again he was forced to take up his sword. You don't agree that he ought to recuperate?"

After glaring at her for a few seconds, Iggy nodded. "That still doesn't mean I like seeing you two all snuggly together."

"That wasn't his fault, and not mine, either." Peach squirmed. "I woke up, my arms were around him... I can't explain any further, but it was innocent, I assure you. Nothing else transpired."

"He'd do anything for you, ya know that?" Iggy half-laughed, voice bitter and flat. "For some human. He's out here fighting off his own family to save some stupid human girl who gets herself into trouble again and again and again."

That stabbed through to her core. "I... I know, Iggy. I'm a magnet for kidnapping. What else am I supposed to do about it, though? My twiggy little arms aren't built to fend off huge, brutish Koopa men." Her fists shook at her sides. "Which is the worst feeling in the world."

"Almost as bad as losing your best friend to the enemy?"

"Much worse," she maintained. "If you think I enjoy being _impotent,_ you're a fool. I hate it now and always have. Yesterday, I gave my all... and I kept us alive because I used up the single Starman we had at our disposal. That was the only – _only_ way I was able to triumph. Maybe I've got formal training on how to run a kingdom, but in a fair fight I can't even save my own ass."

More than anything, her use of the uncivilized term at the end surprised Iggy. He began to giggle. When the princess raised a questioning eyebrow, he whispered, "I've never heard a debutante say 'ass' before."

"Really?" she asked with a slight smile. "Guess I've got a few surprises left for you after all."

"Let's hope so," said a voice from the left. Both of them whirled to see Lemmy, fully awake and ready to depart. "What did I miss?"

Iggy glanced up guiltily, but Peach only muttered, "Nothing of note. Ready?"

"I am. We've got little in the way of breakfast, so I suggest we get going and see what the other side of that bridge might provide for us."

"Very well." With a sly glance at Iggy, Peach took a deep breath and said, "Let's do this shit."

As they tromped away, Iggy did his best not to squeal with glee and Lemmy looked utterly perplexed.

-o-o-o-o-

"DAYLIGHT!"

The announcement came from Toad's lips, but it could just as easily have been any of them. Sweet, blessed sunshine blasted their eyeballs with more brightness than they were prepared to endure. It was like being born from the cavemouth and into pure radiance.

"I'm so glad!" Wendy giggled. "Never have I been so glad to see this dystopian landscape!"

"Told you we'd make it," Mario said with a satisfied tone. "Just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other."

"Why don't you put that foot where the sun don't shine?" Luigi grumbled.

"Maybe you should be the one _watching_ your feet," Toad cackled. "Otherwise you'd never have earned that banged-up shin!"

The taller plumber scowled as he limped. "Yeah, yeah."

"Apparently, there's a bridge up ahead," Mario told them from where he was inspecting a sign. "Let's take it; if this route has been marked so well, I'd bet anything it's how we're going to get to Koopa!"

"Which Koopa might that be, perchance?"

A hush fell over the craggy mesa. One by one, they followed the voice up to see the landmark they had failed to notice; a guard tower. With a gleam in his eye, Ludwig Von Koopa slid down the ladder, landing with a _thud_ on the ground before the blinded team.

"Crap," Toad grunted. "Can't walk two feet without trippin' over a Koopaling."

Mario stepped forward. "What do you want from us?"

Ludwig had been on the cusp of answering when Wendy growled, "Out of the way, Lug."

"Why, Sis, you wound me," the beady-eyed maniac said in a deceptively-gentle voice. "We've all missed your cheery presence back at the ranch. This is my reception? We've finally unearthed you, and all you can do is command me aside? For shame!"

"Let us pass, or so help me-"

"HALT!" Wendy had been about to lunge herself at her older brother, but the blue-haired lout produced a magic wand from nowhere, stopping her dead in her tracks. "Temper, temper, young temptress! Larry wasn't the only one of us with the foresight to create a doppelganger wand!"

"No," Toad breathed as his eyes focused on the implement of doom. "Not again... not one of those stupid things all over again!"

"What a vile little wart," she said in quieter tones – ones meant more for Mario than for their assailant. No such luck in keeping him from hearing her. "I had hoped I wouldn't have to go through this."

"Might you be willing to share with the class, Kootie Pie? Ah... but you've nothing to share with your human friend there. Not unless you really think the mechanics of relations with a mammal will be seamless! Ahh, capricious youth. But perhaps that's presumptuous of me," he told her with a devious grin. "You and the garlic-infused gent couldn't _possibly_ be entertaining such notions, could you? That would be... hmm, I suppose xenophilia, to be frank. Yes, that's the term."

"Do you ever just sit in dark rooms and ask the flagstones what they're thinking about?" Toad wondered aloud, prompting a glare from the eccentric lizard.

"Wendy?" Mario asked quietly, putting his hand on her shoulder – but she pulled away, eyes wide and staring straight into the ground. Every muscle in her body was tensed, pulled taut like catgut strings on an antique violin.

"Lug, why can't you shut the hell up?" Her tone was dejected, even while her posture radiated fury. "I... I just want to go. I want to be done with all of this and file it under 'ancient history'. Why are you being so stubborn? Are you really that despicable?"

"You're giving off some pretty negative mojo," Toad began suspiciously, eyes moving between the two amphibious relations. "Did he shake you down for your allowance or something?"

"Often," she said bitterly, folding her arms over her chest, her voice all steel and cold fire, not sickly self-loathing. "Par for the course. Do you know how many times I caught them going through my dresser drawers, or playing keep-away with my pearls? Roy was always pulling on my tail to see how I'd react, Larry tried to steal glimpses of me in the bathtub. Morton, though, he was the weirdest; just wanted to try on my hairbow when I wasn't looking. Never did understand what that was about."

"Yeesh," said Luigi through his teeth. "Not quite the Brady Bunch, huh? Guess we shoulda known the apples didn't fall far from the tree; if the dad disrespects women..."

"I know, right? They couldn't stop being curious about girls just because there weren't any others around. So I bore the brunt. You have no _idea_ how maddening it is, the role of the only female in a family of EIGHT! Boys being stupid boys."

"Koopas being Koopas," Ludwig amended. "And might I remind you that you are also among our number? Sooner or later, your blood will out. What's going to happen to your hapless plumber companion when you're set upon by our savage nature?"

Wendy bared her fangs as if trying to fight back tears. Then her back straightened, her chin lifted. "That won't happen. I'm not one of you."

"Oh, really?"

"Really. I am Wendy Orlean, and a Koopa no more."

For a second, Ludwig only blinked at her. Then he began to laugh. A long, high laugh with plenty of musical titters thrown in for good measure. A knee was slapped and a gut was clutched, but all the while his wand remained leveled in the direction of the heroes. Mad, yes... but a mad _genius._

"You're a Koopa no more? Oh, that's rich! That's melodious to my ears! Let's play that game, shall we? Neither am I. No, no, wait – Mario _is _a Koopa! Because I claim it so! And Luigi is a fungus! As a matter of fact, let's just switch around these bothersome tags until names and descriptors lose all meaning! Anarchy will reign unchecked!"

But Wendy never budged, never spoke. Eventually Ludwig exhausted his laughter, then came to scowl at her. The lack of reaction very clearly chafed his Underoos.

"Last chance, Kooky," Mario ground out, nostrils flaring as he fought not to let his anger cloud his judgment; if they were trying to slip past this guardian and onto the bridge, turning into a tornado of rage would only land them on the wrong end of that magic wand instead. "Move it or lose it."

"Cannot do, Caterpillar-Face. You'll have to avoid my wand if you want to venture beyond this point."

Wendy cracked her knuckles. "Fine. Bring it on."

Only with four opponents advancing all in the same moment did the Koopa boy's forehead break out in a sweat. "W-wait... no, you can't do this, you must be intimidated! I've mastered all the tactics for ensuring this, how can you flout that?"

"Looks like it's your turn to be... _intimidated_," Toad said, somehow almost menacing even with his rubber-duck voice.

"Hah!" Ludwig crowed as he began to backpedal toward the Butter Bridge. "That's what _you_ think, cretins! He who Koops and runs away-"

"Is Koop outta luck, chump."

The follow-up line was delivered by Lemmy. He, Iggy and Peach were standing just feet from the beginning of the bridge (which for them, of course, was its end). This was trouble enough for the villain, but the wand in Iggy's hand and the sword in Lemmy's lent a lot more weight to their claim.

"...ah."

"We should bind you and take you into custody," Peach declared in clipped tones, "but everyone deserves a little mercy." She seemed to consider her own words for a moment, then pursed her lips. "You know, on second thought, not _everyone_ does. Tie him up."

"_Princess!" _Mario and Luigi exclaimed. Wendy sighed with equal gratitude and release of pent-up rage, and Toad whooped and pumped his fist into the air.

"Lemmy!" Wendy breathed a moment later as Luigi and Toad began digging through their packs for some ropes. "God, I've been hoping you'd come through for us!"

"The way of_ bushido_ would not let me do otherwise, Sis."

"Uh-huh," Iggy said under his breath. "It was Peach's _bushido_ he was after." But when Peach kicked the back of his leg, the snide comments tapered off.

"You can't be doing this to me!" Ludwig was screeching. "I'm a victim of circumstances beyond my control, can't you apprecia-"

"Tell it to the judge," Luigi snapped, preparing to slip a length of rope between his jaws – but Mario yanked the defeated Koopa to his feet.

"You... to Wendy. You treated her like yesterday's meatloaf."

"No," Ludwig said. "I m-mean, yes, but it was all kid's games, you understand..."

"Really? Was that really all it was?"

"Of course!" Ludwig shouted, switching from blubbering to incensed in a heartbeat. His teeth scraped together and his eyebrows stabbed into one another, but as he went on his voice became bleak and distant, as if whispering from the opposite end of a canyon. "No one understands... growing up with brothers, never seeing a bona-fide _woman_. Have you ever tried asking Bowser Koopa to explicate the differences between us and the fairer sex? Hah! It's like asking a Thwomp! So we were naturally curious, and poor Wendy was the only nearby-"

"How does that excuse you kicking her around?" When the Koopa didn't answer immediately, he shook him and shouted, _"HOW?"_

He only got another laugh by way of reply to his question. "Are you earnestly waiting for me to apologize? Get comfortable, dear deluded sir, for you'll have a long wait; I feel no remorse. Our father ensured we would grow up in a world devoid of a female influence. Only in recent years have I begun to theorize that it was perhaps _not_ acceptable to pinch my sister's tail, to make light of her entire gender and her pink-tinged wardrobe. It was natural for us to ostracize her because she was so clearly, visibly _different_. And who can only know where the other Koopas are? Are there any more women or are we to be the last of our kind? Until King Dad grows more forthcoming..."

A tidbit from a previous conversation resurfaced in Mario's mind, and he glowered down at the oddity he was threatening. "Where _did _her mother go? Did King Koopa put her out to pasture because she was ruining your 'Boys Only' policy?"

At that, Kooky's eyes took on a hollow cast. "Where? No, Mummy, no... where did you go, Mummy? I'm looking, I counted to twenty... Cheatsy and I didn't mean to break the lamp, you d-didn't have to go away-" Then Mario struck him across the face with an open palm, and Ludwig seemed to come back to himself. "Yes, right, yes. I do wish you hadn't brought up my dearly-departed stepmother; she breathed her last birthing young Iggy. But when your father's version of therapy is to lock you in your room until you stop crying, sometimes you work through the grief via... unconventional avenues."

All fell silent, and Wendy and Lemmy exchanged a doleful glance. They had pondered Mother's fate all their lives, and now they knew the answer. Not that it was terribly satisfying or uplifting.

"So she really is..." Wendy clenched her fist over her heart as tears rolled down her cheeks. Her last shred of hope was now dashed, and he didn't even seem to care. "Why didn't any of you ever tell us? What kind of useless family members keep something like that a secret?"

The crazed Koopa gave a shrug. "Most of us didn't want to talk about it; she'd been kind enough to us before losing her, and it only made the wound fresher to do so. Father's main concern after her demise was how to raise us; as I'm sure you've surmised, he's not Parent Of The Year material. And what were his boys to do without prospective mates? Only one sister..."

"You disgust me," she flung at him, anger flooding back into her every word. "Come on, did you really think it was ever gonna happen? I'd rather let the Koopas become extinct than bring more impressionable babies into that cesspool of-"

She fell silent when she heard his bored sigh. "Oh, stop whimpering, it's pathetic."

"Is it?" Lemmy growled at him. "There's a reason I never participated in those 'what if' summits you and the others held; I wanted no part of them. She's got a right to choose what she will and won't do for the family."

"Wendy being the sole remaining female in the castle meant she would eventually have been forced to create our eggs," Ludwig went on, throat constricting; he had the decency to look ashamed. "Regardless of desire, or vaunted ideals, or-"

"Shut your freakin' mouth!" Mario snapped – and to everyone's shock, he reared back a fist and blackened the Koopa's eye. "You shut up about her, about shoehorning her into popping out a litter against her will! I oughtta take a rusty pair of tin-snips and hack off your-"

"Mario, that's enough." Wendy's claws were gently wrapped around his knuckles before he could land a second blow, lowering them as she spoke in a strangely flat voice. "He's... they're not going to hurt me. Not ever again."

"Let's not confuse the matter," Ludwig said, demented smile back in place; the random act of vengeance didn't seem to have agreed with his mental state. "Simply because I feel pity over our cherished sister being relegated to naught but _breeder_ doesn't mean we won't keep on hurting each other until the end of time. It's what Koopas do."

"Maybe so. Except it's like I said: I'm not a Koopa anymore. So you and those other creeps can do whatever you want, but I won't condone it any longer. I'm done."

Wendy was already walking away when he spat, "Lovely words." She didn't turn, but stopped briefly – just a pause. Then she carefully sat down cross-legged, and also folded her arms, facing away from him. Her message was clear; there was nothing more to say. When Luigi made to gag him again, he whispered, "Wait! I... I've got information!"

Toad scoffed. "On what? The names of a few good psychiatrists in the area? 'Cause I gotta say, a recommendation from you is a sure-fire way to guarantee I'll never set foot in their-"

"On the King and Queen of Mushroom Kingdom!"

All mouths closed, and all held still – except for Peach. She dashed forward and grasped the collar of his shell. "Excuse me? What was that? I'm not sure I heard you correctly."

"You did indeed. They... I know where they are."

"Where? Tell me where, tell me this minute!"

"Let me go, and I'll take you straight to them."

Peach looked up, afraid. Not afraid of Ludwig Von Koopa, not afraid for her reputation among her loyal subjects... but afraid that her close friends would think less of her if she admitted to being tempted by his offer. What would they say? A criminal couldn't be set free due purely to her desperate curiosity. That was supremely unethical.

But Lemmy clapped a hand to her shoulder, then leaned in to glare into Ludwig's eyes. "Really?"

"I wasn't speaking to you, traitor. Traitor-S... plural, it seems. A multitude of miscreants. Wendy sets a trend. She's a Wend-setter."

"How about this?" With a quick heft, Lemmy had Ludwig dangling over the side of the bridge, legs flailing uselessly to keep from falling. "Tell me where they are, and maybe, if we think we can trust your word, you won't journey into the afterlife today."

"W-wait, no, stop! You can't mean this, I know you don't have the pluck!"

"Pluck _you!"_

"Lemmy, this isn't the way!" Peach pleaded wearily. "Just put him down!"

"Do as Her Majesty says!" Ludwig gasped out. "C-come on, let's be reasonab-"

"_TALK! WHERE ARE THEY?"_

"_THEY'RE DEAD!"_

Ludwig remained suspended in midair for an emotionally-charged moment before Lemmy jerked him back to solid ground. He looked up with a challenge in his eyes, but it quickly vanished when he realized his single trump card had been played and he still lost the hand. "Their remains... are in a cell within the Neon Castle dungeon, probably long forgotten when our father initially abandoned Dinosaur World. I discovered this while I was supposed to be keeping tabs on Miss Pink-Frills there between Iggy's shifts as turnkey. It... well, they're two human skeletons wearing royal insignia on their fingers. You do the calculus."

"Now we know why no search parties ever turned them up," Toad said in a somber voice. "Bowser had 'em stashed off-world with the dinos."

Heads hung as everyone gathered (except Ludwig) mourned for the Mushroom King and Queen. Most had made their peace with their deaths long ago – ten years was too long to hold out any real hope, not when they had initially been captured by such a despot – but the final nail sealing their fates didn't feel any less sharp. At last, Lemmy cleared his throat and softly spoke. "Peach-"

"No," she said, wiping her eyes hurriedly. Not that she was terribly tan on a normal day, but suddenly the orphaned princess was extra pale, as if a layer of _realness_ had been stripped away. "No, this isn't the time for a meltdown. There is much to do. Finish tying him up, and then... then we must retrace our steps, either to the Keep to corroborate his story or to the Isle of Yoshi so we can-"

"NOT SO FAST!"

All eyes were almost pointed all the way up when the grappling hook landed at their feet. It skidded over to the side, where it found purchase amidst Ludwig's ropes. As they watched the clown-face copter rise, another, far uglier head poked out.

Luigi gasped. "Calamitous calzones – it's _Koopa!"_

It was at this point that Mario sincerely wished he still had the cape.

"Yep!" the great green lizard crowed, waving to them. He actually _waved. "_Came to pick up my dry cleaning – oh, and an errant son or three. What'cha doin' with yourselves these days, Hip and Hop?"

"Running away from home, King Dad," Iggy said automatically, staring down at his feet.

"Aww, that don't sound like much fun! Tell you what – you guys hitch a ride with me, and we'll all go home and make ourselves some turnip-and-marmalade ice cream! I know it's your favorite!"

"Yaaay!" But a second later, Iggy stuck his tongue out and blew a very audible raspberry. "In your dreams, jerkface! We're never coming home again!"

"Daddy, you put Lug down!" Wendy called upward, hands out at her sides, feet planted wide and steady. "We have unfinished business!"

"Kootie Pie, angel! Why the long face? Don't you even wanna give Daddy a kiss hello?"

"I'd rather kiss Mouser's butt!"

"Aww, that's so cute," Bowser cooed as he began reeling Ludwig in. "She thinks she's quitting the family business! Oh, but you wait and see. Sooner or later, you'll be one of us again. We'll all sit around the dinner table and lovingly try to plot new ways to bump each other off, and have a great old time doing it! Because that's what we're made of, sweetums – bile and vinegar! 'Koop Strong, Koop Fast, Koop Sm-_AAAIGH!"_

To everyone's complete shock and bewilderment, Wendy had stretched out her neck, keened a long, high note that curdled the liquid in veins, and loosed an awesome red fireball that singed one of the clown-copter's propellers.

"WHOA!" Iggy gasped.

In that moment, Mario was staring at her with new eyes – those of someone who suddenly appreciated everything about a person all at once, pulling back to see the whole picture. Never again would he dare assume she was defenseless.

"Dammit!" Bowser cried as the craft began to wobble erratically. Resigned to prematurely ending this confrontation, he puttered away into the distance with Ludwig fishtailing behind from his rope, bellowing over his shoulder, _"I HATE THOSE PLUMBERS!"_

"Hate _who_ plumbers?" Luigi breathed, still unnerved by the whole display. "We didn't do jack squat."

"Yeah, you did," Wendy whispered, hoarse from screaming. "You... you saved my life. Over and over again, you keep saving it. It's plenty for him to hate you over."

Mario smiled at her as he approached hesitantly, reaching out a hand. She twitched away from it, but then he latched on so strongly that she halted. "Hey, forget that. Far as I'm concerned, we squared our debt when you saved me in the cave back there. Even Stevens."

"I guess."

"I can't believe you did it," Lemmy was babbling, staring at her in disbelief. _"Fire!_ None of us... King Dad wouldn't teach- and you up and- how did you figure it out?"

A nervous swallow. "Uhh, I'm not sure. Just... _reacted."_

Iggy let out a chuckle. "Some reaction, sis!"

"Wendy?"

It was Peach who approached, eyes wide and beseeching, and Wendy instantly felt dread welling up inside her. An onerous task was about to thud against her shoulders; she'd have to answer for somebody else's crimes, or clean up some other colossal mess. Wasn't this day long enough already? However, instead of asking her for some trifling favor, the monarch whispered, "Your mother..."

"Nah," she said with a weak smile. "It's nothing, old news. I'm totally okay."

"No, you aren't." Peach glanced over at the forlorn expression on Lemmy's face, the antsy one on Iggy's; the youngest didn't even know what a mother was, much less have the capacity to miss what he'd never had. A few more steps forward, and her hands clasped one of Wendy's. "If you... need to talk about...?"

Wendy sighed, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her hairbow as she gazed off toward the clouds. "Do we have to do this now? I'd rather put it on the back burner for a-"

"Come on," Peach prodded gently. "The stronger you protest, the more obvious it is you're going to do yourself irreparable harm by holding it all in. Try me."

The two set off to have a brief walk and private discussion; they reached the very edge of the clearing before Wendy burst into loud, noisy tears. Peach shot the boys a helpless look over her shoulder before they turned the corner around a rock formation and out of sight.

Then Toad, itching to change the subject to pretty much anything else, spun to face Lemmy and Iggy and asked, "So... big jailbreak, huh? How'd it go down? Anybody slip a file into a cake?"

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: Let's never have anybody accuse me of being too secretive; I just rewrote this chapter. It originally went another way, but I had a friend point out to me that a thing I did kinda needlessly complicated the plot and just felt "off", and on second read I totally had to agree. So I took some extra time to chop it up and paste it back together, and now it reads much better, trust me. Big revelations, eh? Here's where most of the "adventure" portion of our tale is wrapped up. More to come, though!


	15. Stars and Pipes Forever

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 15: Stars and Pipes Forever

When the women rejoined the men an hour or two later, neither of them spoke much. What was there to say? They'd had full lifetimes to miss the three late parents, but confirmation of their untimely deaths could never have felt good, no matter where the news came from or when. That both of them should learn it at the same time was perhaps the only silver lining to be found; it gave them a built-in sympathetic ear in each other. Better than nothing.

They made camp for the night, since there was no way on earth (or wherever they were) that anybody could remotely consider travel after what went down. For the first time Mario could remember since her house was _flambéd_, he was sleeping without Wendy; she and Peach were huddled together, consoling each other, desperate to feel close to someone who knew their pain. It made his heart swell to see them getting along, but he missed her warmth... and other things.

Dawn came bright and early. Though each and every one of them were exhausted, Mario rose early, stretched, and looked out over the vast landscape below that was Dinosaur World. Lush jungles, grassy fields, rocky, barren wastelands... and sparkling waterfalls that bled into wide rivers, and further out, oceans. Only shadows of this remained in the Mushroom Kingdom, where Mother Nature was somehow subdued and orderly, and in corners of his own homeworld that humankind hadn't beaten back in the name of progress.

Wendy appeared at his side. Though he hadn't heard her get up or sensed her until she was there, it didn't startle him. "Good morning, Starshine; Earth Land says 'hello'."

"Cute," she yawned. Nobody else was stirring, but still they set off at a leisurely stroll to create some distance between themselves and the main camp. Right around the time they were idly watching some strange beetle-like creature that was shaking the dew off its feathers, she whispered, "So."

"Yeah, extra extra, read all about it. See, we keep getting hit with these big life-changing revelations day after day, and now nothing seems to bring on those cold sweats anymore. Desensitized, or something."

Wendy snickered. "First, you're sucked into Mushroom World. Then you're fighting Koopas. Then you're saving one Koopa from other Koopas. Then you're sleeping next to one, and then you're running off to Dinosaur World with her. Then, when it's already _plenty_, you find out in the same day that she can breathe fire _and_ is the sole daughter of a dead Koopa woman. Of course, we all know the only _good _Koopa is a d-"

"Don't," he whispered, and somehow his whisper blotted out her louder words. "You don't have to make racist jokes to lighten the mood. That's worse than the depression."

Wendy shrugged, arms folding over her chest. "You know what's even worse than my joke? Okay. Yes, I hate that I'm never going to see my mother again, because she had an accident. That sucks, but it happens all the time; part of life and all. But the princess... it doesn't turn you off that I'm related to the maniac who locked her parents up in Dino-Land and forgot to feed and water them? I... my father _killed_ hers. He made sure King and Queen Toadstool died, even if he didn't actually decapitate them. That doesn't bother you, even a little?"

"Oh, it bothers me – it bothers me a lot." He gave a weak shrug. "Only in the way that I wish I could go back in time and stop it. That's all, that's my only hangup."

"How can you stand to look at me, Mario? I'm the daughter of everything you hate, a reptile with violence etched into every claw and fang and scale. _Super _unattractive."

"Oh yeah? How much do you really buy all this you're saying?"

Wendy stared into his eyes for a while as the birds began to chirp more loudly. "Not a lot. That's my real question, I guess: how does it work? I know you don't see me as hideous and evil, but I don't understand how. What good could you possibly see in me?"

"Come on, it's not-"

"And let's not forget when I started doing obscene, disgusting things right in front of the man I respect most. In the middle of a forest! There's something wrong there. _I'm_ wrong; six kinds of messed up..."

"Hey, that had nothing to do with you being a Koopa," he told her firmly. "That was all you and me and animal magnetism. It's almost scarier to admit, but hey, what are ya gonna do?"

Her lip curled. _"Animal_ magnetism. We're not the same animal. My species is inherently evil, like snakes... or congressmen. We all deserve to be euthanized."

"Tell that to your brothers; they lost a mother once upon a time. Did she deserve what happened?"

Her lip quivered as she took a shaky breath. "Poor Lemmy and Iggy... they've been through hell, going against the other boys over me. Now they have to live in a world without our mom, too; now we all have to learn to let go of that dream we've been holding onto for so long. The dream is over."

"There's no way either of them have been through as much as you have."

"Maybe, maybe not," she went on quietly, hands shielding her face from the world as she tried not to collapse from agony. "But Iggy's definitely never had a bloody nose due to a left cross from Roy. I think that one's on the list of possible signs that you should bail; _that_ is how we treat family. You want facial contusions in your future?"

He was looking at his hands as he asked, "Did it hurt?"

"Not as much as I expected it to."

"But the blood terrified you, I bet." He chuckled, and her head snapped up to gape at him. How could he laugh at such a time as this? But then he was talking again. "Yeah, I remember the same thing happened to me – well, nowhere _near_ the same, but..."

"Luigi punched you out? He doesn't seem the type."

"No way!" he protested, eyes wide as his hands waved the notion away. Then he cleared his throat. "Not that we haven't had our share of sibling scuffles, but – allright, just bear with me for a sec.

"Picture it: Brooklyn, twenty-odd years ago. Me and a boyhood buddy were playing stickball in the street with a few other neighborhood kids. We got into a tiff over whether or not a run counted because it almost decapitated Mrs. McLeary's cat. I was still all fired up and chomping at the bit to keep arguing when some other kid screamed, and one of the girls started crying. That was when I noticed my nose was bleeding."

Wendy had been listening patiently, but now the corner of her mouth twitched up as it sank in. "And let me guess: that was also when you decided it hurt."

"Sure. Before that, and probably even afterward, I'd never have worried about my nose. But once I caught sight of that red mess down my mostly-clean shirt, _whoo! _You couldn't calm me down with an elephant tranquilizer!"

"Maybe that's why it's so ginormous," she said with a smirk as she tweaked his nose between thumb and forefinger. "Too many ball-sticks to the face."

"Oh, lay off. My point is, I hardly remember what the score was, or who was on first, or who insulted whose family. But I sure as heck remember running all the way home to Ma and asking if I was going to make it to the hospital." He grinned. "She put a bag of frozen asparagus on it and told me that would help until Dad got home. I probably don't need to tell you that by then it had dried up."

They stood in silence for a while, soaking in their surroundings and thinking on topics both dark and whimsical. Wendy had just shifted as if to return to the camp when Mario sighed, "Weegie and me have been pretty much on our own since a year after that... when the nut in the Maserati decided he didn't feel like braking for pedestrians. Two or three foster homes later and we had squeaked through high school, and pretty much became plumber's apprentices before the ink was dry on our diplomas."

Wendy's heart sank. "What? Did that... is that really... I mean, of course it is, nobody would lie about something like that."

"Hey, don't worry about it. Old news is no news, right? You said that."

"You're orphans, too," she hissed, hand finding the crook of his arm. "God, I'm so sorry, that's such a... I know it's too late to change what happened, but... does Princess Toadstool know?"

Mario nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I didn't want it spread around, but at some point we told her. Sheesh, we've been hanging around with her for ten years, give or take a few months in Bowser's dungeons. We ought to know each other pretty well by now!"

"We're _all_ orphans." Wendy looked down at her own claws before clearing her throat. "I don't think any kid should ever lose a parent before they grow up; not just because I have, or because of you or Peach, but because it seems ugly and unfair somehow. To grow up without someone to guide you in the right direction. By now you have all your friends in the Kingdom, of course, but I'm... sure you still miss them very much."

"Every day." Then he sighed. "Okay, that part _was _a lie. Used to be every day, sure, but... I'm thankful that we moved on. Some kids lose their parents like that and never, ever recover. Maybe we're lucky for at least that."

"Well..." She swallowed, trying to think of something else to say. Finally, she whispered meekly, "If it helps any... you and your brother turned out to be kind of amazing guys. Somewhere along the line, one of your foster or biological parents did their job."

Mario nodded, then turned and put his hand atop hers, holding it there. "And your mother must have done hers. Even if it's pure genetics, Bowser's youngest three are the smart ones – the good eggs. So I don't want to hear any more about you being 'inherently evil' because that's bunk, allright? I think you have a good heart under those scales."

"But... dammit, I'm not trying to second-guess your feelings, because it's counterintuitive. But shouldn't _you_ be? I'm a freak of nature who can ignite her throat like a dragon. And I'm all stabby." She flexed her fingers to make her claws poke him through his sleeve. "It was weird enough when you actually agreed to help me divorce the Koopa Klan, but... how can you likeme, much less... _like _me?"

"Easy. You're hot."

Gazes were exchanged. Then Wendy scanned down her own body before muttering, "Am not."

"A little bit, yeah." He shrugged in a would-be casual way, except there was a slight nervousness in his voice. "Not that I ever would have thought so before, but yeah, I guess a lizard-girl can be, uh... ring-a_-_ding_-ding,_ know what I'm sayin'?"

By now she was in full blush, staring down at her bare hind claws, dusty and covered in this and that from their adventuring. Mario thought he even spied some old dried blood from where she'd kicked Roy, and he felt that flash of pride all over again. "Not really, but... the way I'm feeling right now, I think the rest of me gets the general idea. You're sure my being a disowned Koopaling doesn't affect how you see me?"

"Why should it? Does knowing I'm an orphan affect how you see me?"

"No." Then she tilted her head to the side. "Or maybe a little, but not in a bad way... because if anything, it makes us more alike. We both know how it goes. We both... miss them." Then she shook her hair out and smiled at him. "Still, no staggering revelation. Mario's just Mario to me."

That prompted him to nod at her in a satisfied manner. "Then there you go, cupcake."

"_Mario?"_ came the urgent call from nearby. "Where did you run off to?"

"Looks like we're being paged," he chuckled.

"Ugh, impatient bastards!" But she slipped her hand into his as they retraced their steps, momentarily contended. However, once they regained the campsite they were in for a big shock.

Seated in the center of what had been their little campsite were not one, but three Yoshis. The _Yoshis! _Even more shocking than the initial sight of the dinosaurs was the knowledge that the one in the center was the Great Yoshi himself.

"Welcome back, mates of rival clans," he announced as they came within easy speaking distance. "Your long-maned one told us to await your return."

"W-well," Peach stuttered as she ran a hand over the hair that hung nearly to her bottom, "I f-figured you might be, ah- that is, indisposed if- well, regardless, it shouldn't take terribly long for you to make your way back t-to-"

"From our walk?" Mario supplied.

"Yeah, that!" Luigi, Toad and Iggy hid snickers behind their hands.

"Indeed," the Great Yoshi said. "As I began to tell your fellows, when I learned of the cowardice of my people who were sent as your guides, I felt a responsibility to come in person to see what had become of the outsiders."

"They seemed pretty spooked by that ghost-infested mansion," Luigi put in.

"Correct; it is a fear we suffer greatly from, apparitions, which is why I won't be punishing them. But then I take this to mean that all is well? You have negotiated your differences?"

"Not really," Peach sighed bitterly, still a touch flustered. "But between those gathered here, all conflicts have been more or less resolved. Bowser himself is another story."

"Then please, return with us to the village. There we will have much we can discuss at our leisure."

"No thanks," Toad put in, folding his arms over his chest. "It took forever and a day to get this far, why should we turn back now?"

"Yes, I'd quite like to check out Ludwig's claims," Peach added. "If my parents truly lie behind those bars, don't they deserve a decent burial?"

Lemmy laid a hand on her shoulder. "Majesty, I don't think that to be a wise course of action at present. Remember, my father and four of my brothers continue to pollute the Neon Castle. Do we really want to walk straight into their waiting dungeons?"

"Yeah," Luigi agreed with a sad little shrug. "I say we wait until Bowser gets bored of Dino-ville and then come back."

For an indecisive instant, Peach looked around at their road-weary faces before nodding. "You're right. My subjects need their monarch now, not old, dead bones in a few more days."

"Not what we meant," Wendy told her.

"I know you didn't. But it's the truth, and I'd be a fool to ignore that. So... we are all of us alive and well, and it is back to the Mushroom Kingdom I go. The rest of you are free to decide."

"I'm outta here like, yesterday!" Toad said without hesitation.

"Me too," Luigi grunted as he pushed a hand into his lumbar. "Oh, I had such a nice bed... what is it like to sleep on a bed again? Somebody remind me."

"Wherever the princess goes, I follow," Lemmy told them all with a glint in his eye, as if daring them to contradict this. None did, though a few eyebrows hiked upward.

"And I'm following Lemmy," Iggy put in.

"Mario?" Peach asked anxiously. Her eyes flicked toward the female Koopa, then back to him. "Do you... want to stay in Dinosaur World?"

The man removed his red cap and stared at its brim. "Do we have any choice?"

"I promise, I'll ride the law enforcement harder to protect Wendy. I'll let her carry a concealed boomerang, I'll put her up in my own bed and guard the door myself if that's what it takes. Anything! But... but I can't force either of you to come back. Even if I could, I wouldn't want to. That's not how the crown's power ought to be used – or _misused_."

Mario turned to ask Wendy, but she was already nodding. "We'll come home."

"Are you sure?" he whispered.

"They get one more chance," she said, not in a whisper but in a carrying tone. "That's it. No more graffiti, no more burglaries, and no more assault and battery charges that the cops enforce against _me_ instead of them. So far, the Villagers have got three strikes. One more strike, and that's a spare."

When Luigi snorted, Mario bent closer to her and murmured, "No, you're mixing up baseball and bowling again. What you mean is 'You've already got two strikes, and three strikes means-'"

"Whatever," she said with a casual flip of her hair. "You get my drift. I can't be expected to differentiate between all your silly human sports."

"Sounds more than reasonable," Peach sighed with relief. To be frank, she looked ecstatic at the prospect of Wendy's return, which was a complete turn-around from her initial feelings. Things were working out better than Mario had ever hoped. "Seriously, I promise you it will be the way your life _should_ have been the first time!"

"Great," Toad interrupted. "But either way, can somebody please tell me we don't have to go back into that friggin' cave? I'm never gonna be an open-air fungus again if this keeps up!"

"That will not be necessary."

With those ominous words, the Great Yoshi and his two attendees rose and began hiking down the cliff. The ragtag group of foreigners had to do some pretty fancy maneuvering to follow, but after an hour or two they reached a point where there sat a giant statue of-

"A Starman!" Peach gasped, hand instinctively reaching for her crown. Unfortunately, she found only a safari helmet. "Oh... oh, but what does it mean?"

"The Road of Rainbows," the green Yoshi whom Mario had befriended breathed with much reverence.

"It is known only to the eldest among my people," the Great Yoshi said in a quiet voice. "My ancestors taught me of it as their ancestors taught them. From the Road of Rainbows, one can complete a week's journey in minutes."

"Sounds a lot like the Warp Pipes," Luigi muttered to Mario, who nodded.

"Come, let us be off."

The three Yoshis pressed their hands against the tawny surface of the rock and vanished with a whirl of brilliance. Exchanging nervous shrugs, Mario and his companions waited to see if anything else would happen; nothing did. With a nod, Lemmy stepped forward.

"But Bro-"

"It's fine," he told Iggy. "You understand that I can't let Her Majesty go through this thing without testing it for safety myself."

Peach let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl. "You know, I've had just about enough of this male ego and chest-thumping. I can test it on my own."

"It isn't about your gender," he told her seriously, giving her pause. "It's about your station. You must have known that."

"Can I help it if sometimes it bothers me? That I have to sit on my princessly hands while everybody else takes risks on my behalf?"

"That's the way the cookie crumbles," Toad squeaked. "Part of the sovereignty schtick."

Lemmy was already vanishing. A moment later he reappeared, eyes wide and disbelieving and breathing as if he'd run a mile, chest visibly expanding and falling even through his shell. "Guys... you really should see this for yourselves."

One by one, they crossed over into something else entirely.

Beneath their feet glittered every color of the spectrum intermingling with a few that no words could describe. The night sky shone and twinkled, and the moon loomed large and imposing at the corner of their vision. Far, far below, banks of clouds swirled and undulated, drifting over the distant surface of the planet that was Dinosaur World.

Toad was the first to attempt speech – but he didn't do so well. "Where... I mean, how can..."

"We shouldn't be able to breathe this far up," Lemmy mused, glancing left and right. "I mean, if we really are above the clouds and this isn't just some... I don't even know what you'd call it."

"Look!" Luigi yelped. All eyes followed his outstretched finger to see how the streets comprised of auroras branched out and led to small floating islands of powder blue, upon which other creatures scurried here and there.

One of Peach's arms began to drift upward, as if to reach out and grasp one of the blue baubles. "How do they stay up?"

"Maybe it's like asteroids," Mario said with a shrug. "Or that old Ruskie space station, Mir."

"Ah," Lemmy said with some appreciation for Mario's sharp theory. "We could be in orbit, but then... how are we breathing?"

"You seek to question the ways of magic." Somehow, all of them were startled by the Great Yoshi's voice, even though he had been waiting patiently in front of them the entire time. "Is it not enough that the forces do as they must? Do we need pick them apart until they are no more?"

Peach flashed him an embarrassed smile. "Maybe he has a point. The powers-that-be hold us up, keep us alive and give us beauty, and all we want to do is ask why. We should be thanking them, not demanding answers."

No one, not even the Great Yoshi, made any move to speed onward. They crept forward along the glittering, insubstantial street with hearts full of wonder, gazing down and through it to the surface of where they had been, up to the speckled heavens. It was terrifying and breathtaking and beyond any dream or hallucination any of them had ever conjured up.

"Mario," Wendy whispered from his side, "how... how did this happen?"

"Search me," he said while pulling at the corner of his mustache. "I'm no philosopher."

"No, I mean... here we are, experiencing this insane, beautiful thing, and... and I don't know how I got here. So recently, I was just some turtley girl with a crappy family, and now I'm strutting down the Star Road with the Mario Brothers and... and _royalty!_ How did I totally luck out?"

When he looked over, he saw tears were rolling down her cheeks. But her face held no sorrow, no shame over it. Pure awe had shaken her free of all that. They were staring into infinity, and it was too much to handle and still they could not look away. Or not for just anything; only something truly poignant would be able to hold their attention in the face of such a spectacle.

"Okay, Wendy. Guess it's time to collect that deposit."

Her voice showed she was clearly distracted by the view. "Hmm?"

"I love you."

"_WHA?" _she gasped, whirling to face him. Multicolored light veined across his face as he smiled; _that _got her to shift focus. "You... wanna try that again?"

"You said we needed to discuss," he told her, one eyebrow raising. "And I said I wanted to wait until we saved Peach. Well, she's standing right over there and she looks mostly alive to me, so... yeah. Let's go for it."

"Let's go for- are you serious?" she cried incredulously, baby blues narrowing as she folded her arms in front of her chest. "THIS is how you confess your undying affection for the woman you're destined to spend the rest of your life with?"

Mario nodded. "You bet your bologna."

Wendy sputtered. She fumed, she pulled at her golden locks. Then she dropped her hands and sighed, "You know what? Forget it. There's no fighting how adorable you are."

"Knew you'd see it my way, Lady Fettuccine."

"But you'd better be damn sure," she hissed, lip beginning to tremble even though the rest of her was still calm. "Point of no return, buddy; get off or commit."

"Oh, I plan on doing both," he told her suggestively, and she actually gasped aloud at his forwardness. "Later. Right now, I want something simpler."

"Like what?"

The minute their lips met, Toad and Luigi were hooting and hollering, and Iggy started dry-heaving. Lemmy, however, merely walked over and took Peach's hand, whispering, "You know..."

"Hold that thought for a few days," she whispered, trying not to grin like a giddy schoolgirl. She didn't pull away from him, but neither did she turn her eyes from the two embracing paramours. "No sense in us trying to upstage them."

With shaking hands, Mario and Wendy broke apart, breath coming in shuddering gulps as they pawed at each other's faces, no longer holding back but rejoicing in touch, in taste and feel and all manner of sensation. His gloved fingers ran through her hair, and she felt down his shoulder muscles, gripped his waist possessively – and she no longer feared what he might do if he noticed. She was allowed to be possessive now.

"You are _mine_."

"Am I?" He pinched her cheek, and she giggled. "You gotta do something to mark me as your personal property, then. Maybe we could sneak back to that little hut and-"

"Not so fast, Mr. Happypants! We should try holding off until after the wedding."

"_WEDDING?"_

Wendy smirked. "You really think I'd let you get all the fringe benefits without making any real investment? Nope, nothing doing. I'm gonna be the old Chomp and Chain."

"I'm dreading, I'm dreading," he laughed as they kissed again.

"You should. Remember, I'm a dangerous dragon."

"You're Wendy Orlean, and you're the most beautiful person I've ever known. And I'm a plumber; I hang around other people's houses for a living."

At that, Wendy backed up to take a long, searching look at him. "You know... I've never, ever known anybody like you before, either. But I am so glad I do. Now, ask me to marry you."

Mario blanched, glancing over toward his friends. "Ahh..."

"Come on, do this right, and do it right now, dammit! When are you ever gonna find a more dazzling backdrop than this to set the mood?"

"Good point." Clearing his throat, he sandwiched her hand between both of his and asked in a theatrical voice, "O, great and beauteous Wendy of fair hair and, uh, pointy fangs, will you consent to skip down the aisle with me and become my blushing badass bride?"

A slow, pleased grin spread across Wendy's face, replacing the exasperated one from before. "You think I'm a badass?"

"Hey, any girl who can spit fire..."

"YES!" she cried as she threw her arms around his neck and smothered him with kisses, nose to cheek to chin. "I'll marry you, Mario! I'll marry your face off!"

The others were still clapping when Mario swept her up into his arms and began carrying her along the Star Road as if it were the threshold of the rest of their lives. Which, in a way, is exactly what it was.

-o-o-o-o-

"Here we are again."

Mario leaned in and balanced his elbows against the rim of the pipe. An hour or two had been spent conferring with the Great Yoshi, relating their tales and the state of affairs in Dinosaur World, and in the end he had finally dismissed them to go back the way they came. Though it looked bottomless, he knew what would happen when they jumped through it. They would once again be in Mushroom World. No more adventures in this muck, no more strange new powers or living like apes. Returning to civilization. They would even be able to take a breather from the Koopa Klan, who were still whacking every prehistoric bush to try and turn up Wendy and the Koopa-napping knaves from Brooklyn. Lots of promise shone from the depths of that pipe.

But there would be other challenges...

"Don't worry so much about me," Wendy whispered, nudging his ribs. "Maybe I'll be accepted this time around, or maybe I won't. But we'll never find out if we spend the rest of the year cooling our heels in front of a hyperpipe."

"Speaking of 'cooling our heels'," Luigi moaned, "do we really have to schlep back through that frozen wasteland? I'd give anything for a good, dependable shuttle bus..."

"Lemmy," Toad spoke up, "what do you think the chances are that Bowser left our ATV alone?"

The mohawked Koopa grimaced. "Very, very low... but on the other hand, I was there and I don't recall him ever bothering it on the way..."

Lemmy and Toad jumped through at the same time. Then Iggy and Luigi. Finally, Mario and Wendy were helping Peach into it when she hesitated.

"What's up, Princess?"

"I... oh it's nothing."

"Come on," Mario prompted again. "It's not nothing if it's keeping you in this freaking rainforest any longer than you have to be."

"Well, it's only that this dimension is the final resting place of my parents. What if I could recover Queen Apricia's lost sigil, or her tiara? Aren't they part of my birthright? How can I feel at peace leaving without paying my respects to them, without..." Then she shook her head, staring down into the depths of the warp. "I'm sorry. Crying like a baby for Mommy and Daddy. They have been gone for over a decade and finding their remains will change nothing."

"Told you to quit that," Wendy muttered. "Blaming yourself. It's not your fault, just bad luck. They wouldn't want you to torment yourself daily over it, you know?"

"I know." Peach squeezed her hand, and then Mario watched as they dove into the pipe together.

"Guess this is goodbye, little buddy," Mario told the waiting green Yoshi, patting him on the head. Then he realized that might be taken as some kind of condescending gesture and stopped. "So maybe you did run off when you smelled the ghosts, but nobody's perfect. I appreciate all the help."

"Yoshi happy to help friends," the dino said with an odd little bow. "Mario be okay now? Mario have mate to be happy, make eggs?"

For some reason, the plumber didn't have the heart to confess that he and Wendy probably wouldn't be able to produce any offspring; after all, mammalian and amphibious genes simply didn't blend properly. Instead, he smiled and said, "Yeah, Yosh'. I think me and Wendy are gonna be allright. Take care of yourself."

"Bye-bye."

Mario doffed his hat and waved it animatedly, then joined his fellows on the other end of the warp. A long journey awaited them through snow and ice and hail... but he'd done it before.

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: Aww, super romanticness. It took me a long time to get them here, and an even longer time to put the cap on it. And there it is. I've got a little more left to say, dealing with their return to the Kingdom and their futures, so stay tuned. Thanks for the reviews, peeps!


	16. Peach's ProKoopa Politics

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 16: Peach's Pro-Koopa Politics

The farmers in the outlying fields were the first to see the travelers approach. Excited cries went up; the Princess had gone missing weeks prior. Was this to be her triumphant return with the people's hero, or was it marauding hordes?

Hordes. Another cry went up when they spotted the telltale shells and horns of Koopas. This did not bode well. Where were their heroes when they needed them the most?

Then yet another cry – an extremely confounded one – sounded soon thereafter. Princess Toadstool was indeed traveling in the company of Koopas. Was she being held prisoner? Were _they_ the prisoners, taken into custody by their monarch and the Italian plumber? All the mushrooms tending crops gripped the hafts of pitchforks, rakes and shovels, ready to do battle if the need should arise. But it didn't seem to be necessary.

"HAIL!" came the shout from a distance. They returned it half-heartedly; that was not the greeting of someone in grave peril. Something odd was afoot. Eventually, the scruffy, mud-caked party drew close enough for easy speech, and for closer scrutiny – and the rural fungi were flabbergasted.

Their benevolent leader looked like something the Cobrat coughed up. They could see her _knees_ – was that allowed? Wasn't her royal self supposed to be covered at all times? Mario and Luigi also looked like their ever-present overalls could use a patch or three, and a long soak in some heavy-duty detergent. And with them...

Three Koopalings. Three of them, walking freely, no bonds, no shackles. What was going on? Maybe they had used some kind of evil spells on the humans and they were their puppets now. Maybe they were all about to be set upon and eaten!

"Yes, I know what this looks like," Peach panted wearily. "And you can put a cork in it. If any of you have a vehicle, I beg of you to hand it over, because... ugh, I just can't walk any further today or my ankles will snap."

Immediately, they were presented with a lone Ostro; it had been taken from the fields where it was hitched to a yolk and plowing. Peach promised she would get them two brand new Ostros in return for their kindness and spurred it onward at a slow walk with the other weary travelers swarming behind.

What the fungus was _that _about?

-o-o-o-o-

"Her Majesty, Princess Peach Toadstool!"

A thunderous cry went up from the gathered throng of Mushroom Villagers, all stamping their feet and excited to catch a glimpse of their acting queen. What was the public address going to be about? Did something happen between the time she mysteriously vanished and her humble return on the back of a common Ostro with Koopas accompanying?

Yes, it had been the talk of the town. Rumors swirled on that topic, moreso even than her speech. Everyone and their cousin wanted to know where she'd gone, what she'd been doing there, and why she had to bring back not only the annoying Koopette, but two of her burly brothers as well. They were safety risks! What in the name of The Holy Slime Mold did she think she was doing?

"People of the Mushroom Kingdom," she began, and magically all fell silent. She wore not only the standard pink gowns of a Mushroom Princess, but also a grand new crown, one never before seen – though unbeknownst to the common folk, it was one of Queen Apricia's old diadems that had been hidden away in the castle vault. Only a few of the elders with good memories recognized it, and they were too busy listening to Peach's speech to mention that to their neighbors. "Hear me now, and hear me well, for I should not have to repeat myself. Indeed, if ever that time comes that you cannot bear to listen to me, then I must step down.

"There is an enemy in our midst. A Koopa." Some jeering swelled and died. "She's come seeking refuge from that scoundrel Bowser, where she claims to have been mistreated. Slapped. Tortured. Ridiculed. She says that for these reasons, she wished for shelter in the Village."

More jeering. Peach let them get it out of their system, and silence quickly fell anew. "Some of you have heard rumors that yet _more _of these beasts have encroached upon our fair city. Three Koopas in the Mushroom Kingdom! What goes on here? Is it safe to leave our homes?" A dramatic pause. "What is our crown doing about this menace? I wonder what it should be. But first, I wish to reexamine the events that transpired one scant month ago.

"It was my decision to release Wendy O. Koopa into the custody of our chief wrong-righter and champion, Mario of Earth Land." Here there was a brief cheer for Mario, even though the 'shrooms were curious about what direction her speech would take. "Her wild claims that Bowser was an abusive guardian and her family environment was a nightmare seemed like foolishness. Or worse: a sinister ploy. Attack from within, is it? Was that their plan? Well, they would not have so much freedom at their disposal, for Mario would watch her. So much for subterfuge!

"Except, I had Mario watching in the wrong direction. All of us were. We were watching to see how or when she would slip up, how she'd try to stab us in the back. In doing so, we failed to anticipate just how cruel and merciless my own subjects can be when they set their minds to it."

Now there was a great deal of muttering, and again Peach let it die out on its own. "Now, I know what you may be thinking. What's the harm in a little graffiti? A rock thrown through a window? Surely she's earned it after all the crops she's razed, all the homes of innocents she's blown up, all the Spinies tossed onto our heads at her request!" A cheer rose up – but this time she shouted over them. "What's the harm in a few broken eggs in her shopping bag? Hey, what's the harm in a few broken _legs?"_

Silence fell heavily. A single cough broke it, and Peach took a deep breath. "What's the harm in a few fractured ribs? In a severed spinal cord? Doesn't it serve her right to have teeth knocked out, to lose a few fingers, or an inch off the tip of her tail? After all, she was old enough to make her own decisions when she set out to conquer our world. She planned diabolical attacks and executed them with ugly precision, ruining our way of life. It is justice being served!"

The cheer that went up was feeble. A few fungi had begun to catch on, but most of them were still in the dark. Peach shrugged at them and went on, "Not _my_ justice, of course. I mean, as acting head of the Kingdom, my hands are tied; if brought before me, the worst I could do in light of her petty crimes is sentence her to imprisonment. Which I did before Mario lobbied for her parole."

Her lips turned up in a small smile when she heard them whispering furiously. "Oh, didn't anyone say? Yes, Mario got her released. So it's Mario's fault! He unleashed her upon the populace! Immediately afterward, she began looting and pillaging, kicking babies and spitting on graves. Shouldn't he be held accountable, as well?

"Wait... wait, something about this sounds a tad off. What could it be? Maybe it's that Wendy never did any of those things; she used her gold coins to shop, she set up a house... did laundry. Mundane activity, droll and tiresome, but never villainous. She was lynched, but had never provoked the crowd that lynched her following her request for asylum. You know, though, maybe that's _not_ what's bothering me. Hmm, what was it... ah, yes. Now I remember.

"The Koopalings, as you may be aware, were born to an evil, offensive, lazy old tyrant. They couldn't help who their fathers or mothers were. Par for the course, he imposed his will on them; forced them to ransack and accost and destroy. And Wendy, having only become a legally-recognized adult within our society _after _she defected, has never performed any acts of terrorism or megalomania since turning eighteen and becoming responsible for her own actions. Not one. You know what that means, don't you?"

There came a lot of furious whispers and a few shouts of disapproval. Peach soldiered on. "Citizens of Mushroom Village, you are _all of you _guilty of maligning a blameless girl for acts beyond her ability to control. For her lineage. For her species. Therefore, it is with a heavy heart that I condemn you to five years in prison on charges of racially-motivated violence."

The uproar was deafening. Mothers yelped, men threw down their hats, young girls began to cry.

"_You don't like that?"_ she bellowed, her commanding voice easily drowning them out. "Good. Neither do I. The punishment ought to fit the crime, but if it results in my ruling an empty kingdom then maybe I'm being too hasty. Therefore, we shall reach a compromise.

"You are all pardoned of your past hatred and bigotry. In restitution for this, I expect to never again find out that any of my people have so much as harmed a single hair on her head without provocation, whether she lives within our borders or not. The same goes for Iggy and Lemmy, who are similarly defecting from the Koopas."

Angry mob doesn't begin to cover how they looked down on the ground. Fists shaking, shouts and curses. A rock sailed up and clacked into the wall near Peach-

And an instant gasp of shock went up from the crowd as Lemmy was suddenly there, catching the rock before it fell, crouching from his spot on the railing with an arm cocked back.

"My Honor Guard is displeased," Peach said without false cheer or modesty. All at once, she was angry, and when those of royal lineage get angry they tend to become cold and austere. Spines had prickly surges of trepidation passing up and down them among the people of the Mushroom Kingdom. "I'm willing to bet he can return fire and nail the very mushroom who threw it in the first place. I suggest no one try it again. _SILENCE!"_

There had been some muttering and cursing that did not taper off, but once she screamed the noise levels from the crowd went dead. Peach cleared her throat and continued.

"During our latest excursion into another dimension, these three Koopas have risked life and limb to save ours, and several times. Much like the Mario Brothers, they are a national treasure and shall be honored, not hunted down with torches like inhuman monsters!"

"They _are_ monsters!" a man called out in a clear voice, and he earned himself cheers from many a mushroom. "Run 'em back to Dark Land!"

"Unless you wish to go with them, Mr. Terfezia, I suggest you shut your yap!" There were alarmed responses, but she cut them off with an imperious sweep of her hand. "No, I surely do mean it! If you set yourself against this crown, then you are its enemies and will be treated as such! So kindly listen and acquiesce, or find yourself in Fungitraz!"

The thread loomed in the air like poison gas until a mother shouted, "But... but why, Your Majesty? Why are we asked to break bread with the ones who've hurt us more than anyone in history? Why side with monsters over your own people?"

"Because they are still _people_," Peach answered without any hesitation, hands clutching the railing of her balcony. "Indeed, so recently they were children. Children forced to participate in a war they couldn't hope to truly understand by a dispassionate father who cares only for his vices and his delusions of grandeur!"

"They knew what they were doing!" another man shouted.

"Did they? Did they really? Would you have at the age of five?" The man did not answer, so Peach began to scan the crowd again, teeth bared, eyes popping. "How old do you have to be before you automatically _know_ that you're being imbued with a set of morals that are flawed and repugnant? Eight? Eleven? When does that conscience kick in?

"A moot point, if your arm is being twisted into doing it anyway. If your reward for sparing the life of a mushroom is going to bed without food, beatings from both your parent _and _your older siblings. It's hard to show kindness when all _you _are shown is evil.

"Wendy, bless her and her bravery, escaped. She came to us because she had nowhere else that would take her in. She had grown sick of being mistreated and forced against her will to do things she didn't believe were right. I wonder; how would you have treated her if she were a fellow mushroom, or another human?" Her eyes narrowed. "Is it simply that she looks different? That's reason enough to turn her away?"

"You can't gloss over the fact that she's been picking us off and causing us all kinds of damage!" another mushroom screeched. "You can't keep that one buried!"

"No, I can't, and I don't wish to. However, when a child is coerced by their authority figure into harming others, the child is above reproach. Until they come of age and leave the nest, it is the parent who is to blame. Whatever he has done to them? That, I tell you, is Bowser's greatest crime of all – greater than his slaughter of our citizens, greater than his ambitions of conquest. The poisoning of the minds of his very own children. For that, he shall _never_ be forgiven."

At long last, there seemed to be some nervousness to the mutters. The mushrooms were afraid the princess might actually have a point they couldn't ignore.

"I've asked her to speak to you today. Can you handle that? Or have I lost the hearts of my people so completely that they won't even respect this order from the throne? If so, very well. Then I am asking." Peach took on a pleading tone, and several of the audience shifted uncomfortably. "Please. _Please_ listen. On behalf of the Toadstool name, I beg of you to open your ears and minds."

Thus, when a trembling Wendy stepped forward to the edge of the balcony, she was greeted by complete and expectant quietude.

"Hello. My name is... is Wendy Orlean. And I was a Koopa."

-o-o-o-o-

"That actually went pretty well," Mario sighed as they sipped at their tea.

"It was like being cut open by a hundred razorblades," Wendy growled through her teeth.

"I'm so sorry," Peach whispered. "That was very obviously the wrong choice, to have you address them publicly. Why did I ever think it was acceptable to ask-"

"Shaddap," Wendy grunted. "Like I said, it's not you I blame. You're doing way more for me than I ever deserved, and I'm grateful."

Mario, Wendy and Peach were all seated around a table in one of Toadstool Castle's many rooms, taking tea and small cookies and feeling gloomy. Now and then Wooster, royal servant and former adviser to the Mushroom King, swept past to refill their teacups. Lemmy stood nearby at the door; Peach had invited him to sit, but he said he preferred to stay at his "post".

"Can you marry us here and now?"

Peach sat up, caught off-guard by the request. "Here and now? Why?"

"I don't want a big wedding anymore," Wendy went on as she picked the sprinkles off of her cookie without really thinking about what she was doing. "Who would we invite? Most of the guest list is in this room already. Those people out there... they certainly don't want to watch their big bad baddie-basher get married to one of the baddies he's supposed to be bashing."

"Give them time. They listened, didn't they? I... I won't sugar-coat how they mistreated you in the recent past, but now that you've spoken up-"

"It won't change a damn thing."

"That ain't set in stone," Mario told her gently, taking her free hand so she wouldn't keep picking at the sprinkles. "Everybody has that ability to change. Now it's just a matter of whether or not they're ready for it. We'll see."

"You really sold it, by the way," Lemmy told her from the doorway with an amused smile. "Some of those tears were genuine, sure, but a brother knows when his sister is faking it. And you shed some pretty big crocodile droplets."

Wendy snorted, rubbing at her eyes. "Well, it seemed like I ought to be sobbing like a virgin on prom night when I told them I just wanted a place to call home. You all forgive me for hamming it up?"

"Like I didn't use any overblown theatrics in my own address," Peach laughed. "Sometimes it really is all about presentation; you learn that in politics very, very quickly."

"Thanks, guys. I guess at this point I'm just nervous; I wish there was some opinion poll I could read. And why is it the more we talk about it, the more I feel like I'm running for office instead of trying not to be killed?"

Mario grimaced. "Pretty much the same thing."

"Young Mistress," Wooster said with a slight bow, "the Council of Mushroom Elders is awaiting audience in the throne room. Shall I have them escorted out, or will you see them?"

"It's okay, I'll see them. And please stop calling me 'Young Mistress'; I'm not a child!"

A slight smile. "Any servant who can recall changing your diapers has earned the right to do so for life, I should think. However, should that be a royal decree..."

"Oh, fine, forget it," she gusted. As she rose, a thoughtful expression settled onto her face. "Wendy... you, Lemmy and Mario will join me."

"We will?" Mario asked.

"Yes. They should see that I am one hundred percent committed to the ideals I outlined earlier. However, if I show up with Mario it will balance things out, negate any fears that I'm turning into some kind of, of... Koopa obsessee."

Down the hallways they marched, two-by-two with Wooster just ahead. Wendy took Mario's hand, and they watched curiously as Peach and Lemmy did the same. Was something going on there, as well? But it was only a brief gesture and over so quickly that neither of them could be sure, and there was no opportunity to discuss the possibility.

"Majesty!" the eldest among them announced, his pince-nez slipping down and into his bushy white mustache. "How can you have let these- bless my soul, she's brought them along!"

"She has," Peach affirmed with a sneer. "What is this about, Toadsworth, if we may cut to the chase?"

"It is an outrage!" one of the other elders said, nodding slowly. "Koopas allowed to live here as if they had rights – as if they weren't bloodthirsty killers!"

"Bowser Koopa is a bloodthirsty killer," she amended as she settled herself into the throne. Mario and Wendy took up positions by her left, Lemmy at the other side. "Under his direction, the Koopalings committed similar atrocities – as helpless inductees. Perhaps some of them will follow in Daddy's footsteps, but I reserve the passing of judgment until they make it clear where their loyalties lie."

"We can appreciate your stance," one of them said, though the facial expressions his fellow council members wore said that wasn't unanimous. "But you also have to realize that you're asking us to live side by side. Out of nowhere! Surely you must have expected some opposition!"

Peach frowned at the man. "Obviously. But if I let that stop me, then I'm not cut out to rule the kingdom, am I?" When she saw they were not convinced, she sighed and leaned in slightly. "Listen. I wholeheartedly believe Lemmy, Wendy and Iggy are genuinely good and decent folk who had the misfortune of being born into a family of madmen. They are not morally bankrupt, they never intended to harm anyone. All their past villainy was at the behest of their father. So, since they can never be free to blossom as individuals unless out from under his thumb, I've granted them wardship."

"You have?" Toadsworth exclaimed.

"Yes. Furthermore, I formally pardon them for all past wrongdoing. Henceforth, they live their lives as adults and shall be held accountable – but even so, any punishment given out must fit the crime for which they are accused. If Iggy throws a wad of chewing gum on the ground, he will not be prosecuted as if he made an attempt on my life. If Wendy forgets to tip her waitress, she will not be burned at the stake, or hanged, or pelted with bricks. Enough is enough!"

"You've said already," an elder whispered. "But the fact remains that these lizards have done great harm to our people, no matter who asked them do so, no matter their age at the time. How are we to welcome such villains as our neighbors?"

"Who said you had to?" Peach told the man coldly. "My kingdom is not a prison. You are free to leave anytime you wish."

Her words were, in fact, so very cold that Mario could swear his breath was fogging in the throne room. The elder who next spoke was so aghast that his words were barely a wheeze. "Do you truly mean to say... that given a choice between ousting _them_ and losing our own people-"

"I do not go back on my word. They have been granted citizenship and my protection; it is done and over with. All I require from you is acceptance. Good day, gentlemen."

"Wait." It was Toadsworth who said this, followed by a cough. "That being your decision, I would like to hear what the young Koopalings have to say on their own behalf. You may have forgiven them their past, but you ask an awful lot from the rest of us."

The room was quiet for a few seconds. Peach very clearly wanted to give the man another tongue-lashing, but she was unsure if she had the right to put words into Lemmy and Wendy's mouths. Wendy was still glancing at Mario when Lemmy said, "I have nothing to say."

"Lee," his sister hissed at him, "you could try to say someth-"

"There's nothing that can be said in defense of what we did, Sis," he told her, eyes wide and fearful. "I mean, only what Her Majesty already stated: we were young, he was our father and we were expected to obey him, and so on and so forth. Beyond that, however... we still chose to obey. We still chose to act like 'true Koopas', we hurt people, we delighted in the misery of others. The 'too young to know better' defense is pretty weak."

"It's not all we have!" Wendy insisted. "Do you know how hard it was for me to tell all those people outside that we got smacked up and down Dark Land by our own father? It wasn't super easy telling Mario to begin with, but a crowd of _thousands?_ And now I have to be the one to say it. Again!"

Lemmy's mouth scrunched up as he turned to stare off toward a wall. "You're right, I... I'm sorry. But talking about it is... I'm not sure how to put it so you'd understand."

"It makes you feel worse than the actual beatings, right? Because they shouldn't have happened, and now that we're older we have learned by now that his hands should never have harmed us the way they did. But no, I couldn't _possibly_ have any idea how that feels."

Lemmy and Wendy were staring at each other as if startled. When their heads turned because they were no longer able to weather the stares, Mario had to wonder if maybe they had only realized at that second just how twisted their formative years had been.

"I don't require that everyone _like_ them," Peach suddenly put in, her voice uncharacteristically meek. "Only... I want everyone to remember they're sentient beings who've been through hardships. There's two sides to the story, not just the one that shows lizards hurting mushrooms."

The elders retired to a far corner to deliberate, leaving the royal posse to mope and fret over their decision. Mario had nearly bitten clean through his cap by the time they returned. Toadsworth spoke with his head angled toward the floor.

"We've decided there is no point in trying to refute Princess Toadstool's bestowal of wardships, nor her extending the olive branch of sanctuary to former enemies. Koopas are imposing indeed, but we must change our way of thinking; those three are Mushroom Villagers now."

"Then announce this to the people," Peach pressed without hesitation, finding their kindness too little too late. "Hearing your support will lend my proclamation a bit more heft. The sooner we can get the people to stop assaulting our newest citizens, the sooner I can try to keep from developing an ulcer."

"We will do as you ask, Your Majesty. And allow me to be the first among the citizenry to welcome Lemmy and Wendy to our corner of the Kingdom. Pass this along to your brother, also."

"We will," Wendy said breathlessly, glancing over at the others in shock. "Are... you really mean it? You won't change your minds tomorrow and give us the bum's rush out of town?"

"Of course not. This is no promise you'll never be met with scorn by the other mushrooms; we don't have much control over that. In the years since the monarchy was re-established, our council has been reduced to a bunch of old fools sitting around and playing Parcheesi. Still, they might listen. Stranger things have happened."

Lemmy nodded at the man. "'Might listen' is better than we'd have hoped for a week ago."

Soon thereafter, the council members filed out. The minute they had turned the corner, Peach slid down in her throne until she was almost sitting on the floor.

"AGH! Affairs of state, bureaucratic balancing acts! Why didn't we just stay in the jungle? It was less tedious than this!"

"Thank you," Wendy said as she clasped one of Peach's hands. "I... you didn't have to go that far out of your way. It doesn't matter if they're nice to me or not; all I wanted was someplace to sleep."

"Well, we tried it _without _the public announcement before and look where that got us," Mario grunted. "The princess is just trying to make everything go smoothly this time around."

"You seem tense," Lemmy told her quietly as moved around behind her. "Let me help."

"That's not necessary," she tried to assure him preemptively. "Really, I'd love a nap, but this isn't the only item on the agenda today that I must-"

"_Relax,"_ he told her forcefully as his hands kneaded into her shoulders. "Just for a few minutes."

When Peach let out a little semi-contented, semi-frustrated sigh, Mario and Wendy excused themselves and began walking back to the bedchamber that she had been temporarily given for her protection until such a time as local opinions of the Koopa refugees were more positive.

"Do you think something's up between those two?"

Mario shrugged as he settled into the room's only chair. "Couldn't tell ya. Would it be such a bad thing if there was?"

"I guess not," Wendy sighed, brow creasing. "It's just... I care about my brother, a lot. Even worse, now I care about the princess. So if them hooking up ruins both of their lives, there's nobody I can start ugly rumors about to get even."

"Okay, I gotcha. And, well, I dunno if they're a matched set of salt-and-pepper shakers, but it would probably improve her mood a little if she did find somebody. There's days she gets in such a funk that nothing can shake her out of it. Kinda hard to watch, y'know?"

Wendy nodded, then stared evenly at the plumber. "Kiss me."

"M-maybe later," Mario laughed, face turning the color of his cap. "Luigi's waiting for me down at the bar – or what passes for a bar in this town. All they serve is beer, nothin' more imaginative! What I wouldn't give for a fine single-malt scotch once in a while..."

"Just a little one?" she asked, her voice catching. Mario certainly caught the catch, so he sat down next to her on the bed and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Heyyy, what's the matter, here? You... getting cold feet?"

"Nah," she hissed out the side of her mouth. "Just that I... well, some days it gets so lonely in the castle that I get mondo stir crazy. You, Peach and Lemmy can't always be there to take my mind off of it, and then I'm just..."

"Go ahead. I won't judge."

"Then I'm just the prisoner. The 'guest' who can't leave for fear of what's outside. It's like being stranded on a desert island in Big Bertha-infested waters – I'll get eaten if I go for a walk!"

"Don't exaggerate," he sighed, nudging her with his elbow. "They'll come around. Besides, we've got better things to do."

Wendy glanced over, then turned back to stare down at her claws in her lap. "Yet another thing. We keep talking about this wedding like it's going to happen, but we haven't even-"

"You said you wanted to wait until after!"

"Not _that!"_ she blurted. _"Shiitake!_ No, I- well, there's that too, but all I meant was... we haven't spent much time together since we got back to the Kingdom. Time _alone_, that is. Can I ask if you're the one whose feet are chilly?"

Mario squirmed as he folded his arms. "Caught like a guilty cat with feathers in its mouth. I have been kind of avoiding you."

"Why?" Her lip trembled for a second, but she took a sharp breath to cut off any other outbursts. "I'm asking because I have a guess, and I'd rather you tell me I'm a Bloober-Brain than assume."

His mouth opened to comfort her, to tell her that everything was going to be fine. Then curiosity got the best of him. "What's your guess?"

"Um... well, you got kind of wrapped up in me from the beginning," she began in a quiet voice. "With helping me break the ties that bind, protecting me and being my getaway driver and everything. These past few days have been the first chance anybody's had to slow down and think. And maybe now that your brain can sort things out, it's telling you that you got too close too fast and for all the wrong reasons. Beyond that..." She swallowed thickly as her cheeks bloomed with embarrassment. "We're different species. It's probably not gonna be a big deal, but what if we don't, uh... _fit together_ the same way we would with our own kind? Nevermind kids – I bet that one's completely out. Not that I'm sure I want any to begin with!"

"I know," he told her with a sad little nod. "Sucks to be us."

"You sure you wouldn't rather borrow that magic wand and... turn me into Mizz Fettuccine for good so we don't have to worry about any of it? We'd both be humans. No conflict, no worries about hurting each other by trying to love each other."

Mario let out a bleak gust of wind. "Not really; I love you for who you are. Besides, don't the effects of those wands wear off after a while – and usually at the least opportune time? Who'd wanna be shifting into a completely different body _during_ the act?"

"Not me! Bleh, why does our relationship have to be cursed with all these extra problems? I'm so confused all the time, and I'm worried that this stuff is gonna make you call it quits."

"Is that what _you're_ leaning toward right now?" he returned, not trying to play games but genuinely curious. "All you gotta do is say so, I won't hold any grudges."

"No." One hand reached up and laid on his chest. "It's not. No way."

"You don't just like me because I can clobber an oppressive dad or two?"

Wendy's lips pulled into a smile. "Yes and no." When Mario only grunted, she laughed and followed up with, "That's not the entire reason, but it's certainly a big part of it. The average person wouldn't go out of their way to help a damsel in distress, no matter how much they brag that they would. It's sad, but people really just aren't that nice."

"Believe me, as a card-carrying New Yorker, you hit the nail on the head," Mario chuckled. "But... it depends on who you know. There's more upstanding folk out there than you'd imagine."

"Maybe." Then she took a deep breath and forced it all out. "Enough amateur psychiatry for one day, Dr. Mario. Go meet up with Luigi; I'm sure he's moping around, lost without his bro."

"Probably, the sad sack. Allrighty, see you lat-"

He fell silent when her lips brushed his, but it was over before he could think and Wendy was sitting back, staring off into the corner. Both nostrils were flaring from how fast her breath was coming, though she was feigning a casual disinterest with the rest of her face as she muttered, "See ya."

As he jogged out the door, Mario couldn't keep the grin from his face. The whole thing was driving him up a wall, but was he upset... or enjoying the ups and downs of this roller coaster?

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: Thoughts, anyone? Is Peach pushing too hard for social reform, too soon? Or is ANYTIME the right time to stand up for equality? Honestly, I'm curious to hear what you guys think, there's as many opinions as there are people out there so don't just take my opinion at face value. Let me know. A couple more chapters left - not much more though. Yay Vitamin Water... *sip*


	17. Do You Mario Take This Koopa?

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 17: Do You Mario Take This Koopa?

Mario's bachelor party was a swinging shindig. Though he didn't exactly have a long list of friends in the Mushroom Kingdom, Toad and Luigi had pulled out all the stops, buying him silly gifts (like a miniature gallows, a tombstone that read "Here Lies Mario's Freedom" and other mean-spirited fun), coming up with a pricey bottle of scotch (which almost made him cry), and bringing in a huge cake – out of which popped a scantily-clad mushroom girl named Chanterelle who danced for them. Several of her moves made Mario look away with his hand over his eyes, trying not to laugh or blush, but when she began leading him into the back room he patently refused.

"C'mon, plumber dude!" Toad slurred, dousing himself with his beer as he swung the mug in a wide arc. "Live a little! It's your last night of freedom, ain't it?"

"Yeah, c'mon," Chanterelle goaded, finger tracing its way down his chest. "The party favors have already been paid for. What's the harm in enjoying?"

"Listen to the woman!" Luigi cat-called. "Get one final notch in your belt before it gets retired!"

"You know what would really make me happy?" Mario muttered in her ear. When she only giggled in response, squirming because his mustache tickled, he pressed an extra gold coin into her palm as he continued, "Go over there and give my brother the seven-in-heaven. He's the one that could _really _use a good time. I'll be doing plenty of, uh, _this_ tomorrow night."

At that, she leaned back, and he tried to make his eyes focus on her inquisitive face instead of the rest of her. Privately, he vowed that he'd find a way to have pasties outlawed one way or another. "Say, is it really true? You're all set to marry the Koopa girl?"

"Yep."

"Weird... but then again, I take off my clothes for a living, so who am I to say what's normal?" The smile she flashed him held some genuine warmth. "And I like that you look out for your bro; family's important. I'll make sure he's so exhausted that he sleeps like a baby tonight."

Luigi made a lot of grunting protests when she grabbed him by the lapels and began dragging him away, but eventually Toad and Mario began pushing him from behind so he told them he didn't need any help in this area and left voluntarily. Nobody saw hide nor hair of him for the rest of the party.

"So... you're gonna ride the snake? For sure?"

"Yeah, Toad. I haven't got any doubts. This is what I want."

"You don't much sound like it."

"Well..." Mario paused to take a hefty belt of his liquor, then cleared his throat. "Never been married before. Sure, I had a few serious relationships – even was engaged for a week once – but nobody that I ever... y'know. She's the first girl who felt this special, this important to me."

"Really? _Wendy?"_

"You're gonna have to cut that out," Mario told him gravely. "If you don't want a face full o' knuckles. I get that she used to be the enemy, but there's only so much bad-mouthing of my wife I'm gonna be able to tolerate."

Toad nodded, staring down into his tankard. "Fine, fine. Just wanna make sure you know what you're gettin' into."

"Not really," Mario admitted. "But either way, I'm going through with it. So there."

"Your funeral, buddy."

-o-o-o-o-

Needless to say, it was a picturesque wedding. Luigi was the Best Man, with Iggy as the other groomsman and an uncomfortable-looking Chanterelle as the only Bridesmaid. That's because it was Peach who married them, with Lemmy at her side as her honor guard. She was delighted to be asked to be the Maid of Honor, of course, but she felt she had a greater duty as monarch to perform the ceremony.

Over and over, Wendy told the princess that all the fuss wasn't necessary – that she was comfortable having the ceremony in combat boots and a poncho, as long as it took place without them being massacred by objecting hordes of Villagers. Much to their surprise, however, the cathedral stayed mostly empty. So the attendees were few and far between, but at least there were no protesters, no bricks thrown through the stained-glass windows. It was peaceful, tasteful, and beautiful, like the bride it was arranged for, who was resplendent in a flowing white gown (the one Peach had been given by her mother, which she assured the reptilian bride she wouldn't be needing anytime within the next millennium), with real pearls embroidered into it and a train that stretched back so far that three mushroom retainers needed to hold it aloft.

Mario looked ridiculous. Instead of a true tuxedo, he was wearing his usual overalls and shirt... with a black bow-tie. However, his cap was missing, and his hair was impeccably groomed. Luigi was decked out in a powder-blue tux that made him look like a relic of Earth Land's disco era. Apparently, there had been a lot of grousing about Mario's wardrobe choice by both Toad and Luigi, but in the end Mario simply told them, "With me, what you see is pretty much what you get. If she can't stomach my wardrobe during the ceremony, then she's sure not ready to look at it every day for the rest of our lives." And that was that. To her credit, Wendy only sniggered when she saw how he was dressed, and plucked one of his overall straps with her claw when she finished walking down the aisle.

They repeated the words that Peach read out, slipped rings on each other's fingers, lit candles, and all sorts of ceremonial stuff. Mostly it was straight-forward until the vows.

"Wendy Orlean, I love you. I'm always gonna love you. Hey, even if you suddenly turn back into an evil psycho and try to eat my head, I'll still be loving you as I stomp you. So keep that in mind when you're thinking about lighting our cozy little one-bedroom apartment on fire." He hesitated, then ran his fingers through her orange tresses. "I'm not that great at these kinda things, but you know I mean every word. You're my Wen, and I mean to keep you that way. I mean to breathe you in for the rest of our days. And you can take that to the bank."

In reply, Wendy laughed at him anew, corners of her eyes crinkling with mirth. Then she took his hands and said, _"Beloved._

"That's a word I've been wishing I could call you for a long time. And now I get to say it; you're my _beloved._ It's a wonderful word. But there's something you don't know, and it is that you have been my beloved for years."

Amid the quiet whispers from behind hands, she went on in a quieter voice, "Ever since I deceived you, dressed as the fictitious Lady Alfredo. We touched, we laughed and flirted and ate spaghetti, and... and I know for both of us it was supposed to be nothing more than a deception as part of Daddy's latest plot, and that you probably hated me for doing it to you. God knows I tried my damndest to convince myself I didn't really like you – not just because we went on one crappy date under false pretenses! So what if my heart skipped over a beat at your being so near? That didn't mean I was in love with you, not by a long shot!

"But of course I was. Never before had I felt the way I felt with you, and my heart held onto it all these years, hiding the love away, nurturing it and making it grow when I wasn't looking. Until the time came for me to escape from the Koopas, when I ran straight from them and into your arms. As far as I'm concerned, there's no need to look back. You've always been my _beloved, _and you always will be. And I'm so thankful."

Soon thereafter, they shared their first kiss as man and lizard, Toad started a slow clap for them, and confetti was being thrown in their faces. It was a done deal; Mario tied the knot with Bowser's daughter. Hades was scheduled to freeze over sometime in the following week.

The reception was simple but warm. Dances were had, embarrassing toasts were given, and lots and lots of hors d'oeuvres were scarfed down. Peach caught the bouquet and Luigi caught the garter, and they glanced awkwardly at each other before Luigi tossed his "prize" to Lemmy, who dropped it like a hot potato. This earned him a raised eyebrow from Peach, but he merely told her he wanted some more punch and seemed to disappear.

Gifts were mostly clothes and functional items, some of which were eventually returned to one department store or another. However, Luigi did give the both of them an ornate wood frame surrounding a pane of glass that was actually a single sheet of the clearest crystal. Behind this was a letter that read, "Mario, I hope if you're reading this, you've escaped via the key. I'll be in touch soon. A Friend." The newlyweds hugged each other and laughed and wept. Few others understood why.

That evening, once Mario had lugged her reptilian form over the threshold of his mushroom hut, they lay in each other's arms, her still in her slip and him in boxers. When his hand trailed up her tail, she moaned but did nothing to stop him. But when he leaned in for a kiss, she drew back.

"One quick trip to the castle and I can have the wand," she urged throatily, shaking like a leaf. "Before we start. We'd both be human beings in eight easy steps."

"No thank you."

"But I'm still a slimy lizard. I could hurt you if we try things this way, and that's the last thing I-"

"You won't," he said with absolute certainty. "There's gonna be sparks flying, and they won't be from any magic wand. You and I are about to create some monumental friction."

And from that point until they passed out from exhaustion four hours later, the only thing either of them said that counted as words was "Mama Mia." However, contrary to what one might expect, it was spoken by both of them – and often.

A week passed by as they settled into Mario's house, Wendy adding a woman's touch to his spartan decoration. Days were full of domestic bliss, nights full of passion and discovery. At long last, they settled into a routine and came to appreciate that they were sharing two lives as if they were one life – and that it was a positive thing. Then and only then did they go on their honeymoon, and for this they picked an exotic location indeed...

-o-o-o-o-

"We're back!"

Lemmy and Peach broke apart, nervously smoothing down their hair and straightening her regal clothes. By the time Mario and Wendy strolled through the door and into the tea room, they were the very picture of decorum.

"So soon?" Peach asked as she sipped at her teacup – pinky out, of course.

"Your crown is on backwards," Wendy noted. Peach tried not to blush as she spun it to face forward again. "How have you two been?"

"Nevermind that," Lemmy asked with a grin. "How was your trip?"

"Not bad," Mario said with a shrug. Wendy slapped him gently on the bicep.

"'Not bad', he says. Hah! It was fantastic! Wait until next year, Lemmy – we'll take you with us!"

"Halloween really is the only time you could come," Mario told him in a bittersweet tone. "But hey, I'm glad we got to do it, and I'd gladly do it again. You're more than welcome to join us, too!"

Peach grinned. "So I take it our homeworld agrees with you, Wendy?"

"They have cement poured over everything," she said in hushed tones as she slid into a chair, hands gesticulating as she talked. "Except for this big patch right in the middle of the city, which they've dedicated to nature. And the food! Everywhere, there's food and drinks of all kinds, every few doors is a restaurant – there's even tiny stands of them on the side of the roads! It's like all they do is pig out all day long!"

"How do they dress?" Lemmy asked with overflowing interest. "We've only got three immigrants from Earth Land hanging around here, so I'm curious about the rest of them."

Mario laughed as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Well, it's not like Halloween is a great example of how they _normally _dress, but-"

"Weird crap," Wendy agreed. "Some of them were wearing capes and spandex, some were wearing great big foam masks – I saw one who was naked but _painted _in all different colors! And then these men in blue shirts came and took her away because of, uh, 'indecent disclosure' or something. It was insane, I'm tellin' ya!"

"And..." Peach was shooting a worried frown at Mario, even though her question was directed at Wendy. "How did they react to you?"

"They said I had a great _costume,_" she replied with a smirk. "Very realistic. I had somebody ask if I was into 'D and D', but I didn't know what he meant."

"It's a game," Mario supplied dismissively. "Anyway, I'm glad nobody figured it out. That fake zipper you glued to your back really did the trick."

"I've never stayed anywhere so nice," Wendy went on, blue eyes round as saucers as she thought about it. "Are all your Earth Land hotels so swanky?"

"Just the expensive ones. Seriously, me and Luigi have stayed in a few fleabag stops along the highway in our road-tripping days."

"Oh, it had such a soft bed," she moaned longingly. "And even though it was kinda brisk outside, the room was toasty and warm, and- and the _bath!_ Who came up with that? Jets of water shot up into my sensitive areas with so much force that I tingled all over!"

Lemmy made a face. "Do I really have to hear about this part?"

"Well, I'm glad you two had a well-deserved honeymoon that you'll remember," Peach told them.

"Yep." Then Wendy leaned in, squinting at her. "Your lipstick is smudged, too."

"Oh!" A make-up mirror appeared from nowhere. "Ah, yes, thank you."

Mario's arms folded over his chest as she asked, "How have things been here while we were on vacation? Anything... new?"

"What? Not really. Same old, same old."

"Yeah?" His eyes lingered on Lemmy so long that the Koopaling lost the staring contest. "No... news that might pop up if we needle Toad long enough?"

"Of course not," the princess replied for him. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm, uh... I'm due for a meeting with the council."

Once Peach walked away with her honor guard trailing, Wendy turned to Mario and poked her finger into his chest. "They are _so _going out!"

"None of our business, Wen," he reminded her as they turned to leave. "But I'm saying maybe – _maybe _you're right. That's as far as I'll go."

But as they left, the married couple shot glances over their shoulders. Two Koopas paired up with two humans. Wouldn't that be a funny coincidence?

-o-o-o-o-

"I'm going to send you to a cell in Fungitraz if you don't at least have the decency to answer us!" Peach snapped angrily. A full minute had ticked by as the slack-jawed waitress lingered near the corner of their table. No amount of prompting from the party of two could bring her out of it. "Christ Almighty, aren't I still the ruling figurehead of this kingdom?"

"Very sorry, Your Majesty," an anxious-looking mushroom answered as he bustled over, steering the dazed waitress away. "She's new, she's... well, I don't think she's ever seen a Koopa in person before, and you might be able to appreciate how sh-"

"No, I _don't_ appreciate it," Peach blustered. "She'd better get used to it quick!"

"I'll have her fired at once, Ma'am!"

"You will not!" At this, the man frowned confusedly, but Peach folded her arms and continued, "It's more important that she be taught not to gape at Koopas than to fire her without her ever learning a damn thing! Now get on it!"

"Very well! In the meantime, I'll send for another waiter!" And off he went.

"You shouldn't make a scene like that over me," Wendy whispered, hand shielding her face from the other patrons of the restaurant.

"I'd prefer they grow accustomed to our reptilian citizens sooner rather than later."

For a long moment, Wendy watched Peach sip her complimentary water. She chewed her lip, rolled her eyes, then hissed, "Okay, let's have it. What are we doing here?"

"Doing?" Peach asked with a tight smile. "Having lunch."

"You didn't invite me all the way out here just to have a shroomburger and give the local help a lesson in inter-species diplomacy. What's the real deal?"

At that, Peach's eyes slid first one way, then the other. Then she leaned in with both hands flat on the table and hissed, "You and Mario are... happy, aren't you?"

"Well, yes," Wendy replied modestly. "Mostly. We've had a few little spats, mostly over stupid stuff, but nothing worth throwing in the towel over. I love him and I'm in it for the long haul. Why?"

"You guys... well, in the bedroom- I'm not asking for specifics, please don't think I'm some kind of voyeur, but I wondered-"

"_Oh_ yes," Wendy said with a lewd wink.

"N-no!" Peach gasped out, flushing twelve shades of scarlet. "It's not about whether or not he's... _satisfactory!_ Or I guess it is, in a way, but what I mean to ask-"

"You're trying to ask if everything works the way the diagrams in 'Koopa Sutra' say they will?" When Peach only started chugging her water again, Wendy laughed, though she couldn't completely stave off the redness in her own face. "Yeah. Yeah, smooth sailing. We had some worries about that too, but we took things slow and..."

"And?"

"And none of your business," Wendy finished, taking a sip of her own water. "Of course, if our genders were reversed there's no telling if things would be as simpatico. If that's what you were driving at."

Peach's shaking hand knocked her fork to the floor. Frowning and glancing around at the other patrons, she bent to retrieve it and bumped her forehead on the lip of the table. Wendy put a hand to her mouth to keep from chortling out loud at the current ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom for fumbling about like a smitten twelve-year-old; such a thing might land her in the stocks.

"Shut up," Peach hissed.

"Hah! I knew it, I _so _totally called it! Mario owes me a few coins!"

"I... oh, what you must think of me," Peach whispered miserably. "Soliciting your advice on... on trying to find my way to your own brother's bed. I'm a devil woman."

"Correction: you're a _lonely_ woman. It's more than understandable."

"But he's your _brother!_ How can I justify making you talk about such a thing?"

Wendy shrugged, tracing her index claw around the rim of her glass. "Makes me a little queasy to think my little bro might be, uh, getting lucky any day now, but when it comes down to it I'd be happy for him if he did. Or if you did, for that matter. Everybody needs somebody."

"I don't." In the face of Wendy's disbelieving stare, she wilted. "Or maybe I ought to be saying that I _shouldn't. _ I'm supposed to be Princess Toadstool – and really, now that the death of my parents has been confirmed, it's my duty to take up the mantle of queen. I'm supposed to be independent, respectable. Who ever heard of a ruler who pines after her own honor guard?"

"Lemmy pretty much created that job himself just so he could hang around you all day, didn't he?"

Peach grimaced. "Maybe."

"He's nuts about you! Cut the guy some slack and-"

"But I can't make it public without mass hysteria," she hissed desperately, shredding a few tiny packets of low-calorie sweetener without paying attention to her hands. "What is that going to be like for either of us? A torrid affair that can only continue so long as it stays a complete and utter secret? Talk about a fate worse than death!"

"Maybe you should let him decide if he's okay with it. He's a grown-up lizard."

"He is," she conceded. "But he's also... he's also my subject. Which means I care very, _very _deeply for his welfare. If it got out that we were seeing each other, it would probably result in his being run out of the Kingdom. I would n-never see him again."

Wendy leaned back in her chair as she tapped the table, thinking. "You could marry him, make it legitimate."

"No, I couldn't. I would be dethroned if I had the audacity to marry a Koopa – which is the very thing we've been dreading since your father decided I was prime wife material. They'd only think I've gone off the deep end from the pressure; Stockholm Syndrome, or something very like it. Where would that leave the kingdom?"

At a glance, Peach looked frustrated, depressed, worried, heartsick, and at the end of her rope. So Wendy stretched her claws across the table and took Peach's hands in her own, making small shushing noises that wouldn't reach the other tables.

"You're going to be fine," she went on. "Just... hunt down a broom closet once in a while, get your kicks. In public, be good friends."

"That's no way to live."

"It's better than nothing, isn't it?"

Peach opened her mouth to protest, to say she was wrong. In the end, she sighed and whispered, "I know. You are right and I am fully aware that you are. That doesn't make it less painful."

"Mario and I get plenty of stares, too. They're finally starting to ease off, but only a little... and when I'm by myself, I still get eggs thrown at me by juvenile punks, or store owners who uncannily 'reserve the right to refuse service to anyone' when I'm the customer in line. But they're too grateful to Mario for saving the populace all those times to hold my being his wife against _him_, so..."

"Somehow, I don't think the same thing would work for Lemmy and I. They're bound to hold me to a stricter set of guidelines with me being royalty. Mario is a hero by choice, but I am a monarch by obligation and duty. So secrecy it is." After nodding to herself for several moments, she looked up while cocking an eyebrow. "You sure there's no weird problems for you two in bed?"

"Only how hard to ride each other before we collapse," she laughed, then took in a sharp breath as her eyes widened. "Holy _geez!_ Oh, that was really graphic, I'm sorry, Majesty, it just kinda fell out of my mouth before I could-"

"Don't waste any energy cleaning up your language for my sake," Peach snickered. "So it went okay for you two?"

Lips pursing, Wendy leaned as far in as she could. "You really haven't already? Nothing at all?"

"Well..."

"Oh, this I gotta hear," Wendy crowed. "Spill!"

"A little heavy petting one afternoon," Peach admitted, trying (and failing) not to return Wendy's indulgent smile. "It went quite far before we put a stop to it. Which is why I wanted to ask about the compatibility issue, because..."

"Because?"

"He's _huge._" Wendy cringed, and Peach shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, I understand; your brother, didn't want to know. But I cannot lie; I've seen smaller tree trunks."

"Just take it slow," she went on, glossing over Peach's over-share that she could have happily lived without. "Don't jump onto him – and don't let him get carried away, either. He'll try to speed things up simply because he's excited to be with you, but you gotta be ready to put on those brakes! That way, if there's something about your body or his that's going to cause a problem, you'll have time to work around it. That's all."

"How much adjustment did you and Mario have to make?"

"None," Wendy said with a grin. "It was pretty much 'Insert Tab P into Slot V', if you get me – but it wasn't anything like what I had expected. Nothing at all."

"Yeah?"

Precisely then, their new waiter appeared, postponing their discussion for a few minutes as they ordered. Once their garden salads had arrived, Wendy whispered, "I'll never be a vegetarian. In Dark Land, the vegetables eat _you!"_

"So you think I should just do it with your brother?"

Wendy nearly choked on a cherry tomato. "Blaugh, can you maybe not put it that way? Mental images, princess – I'm trying to eat here!"

"There are days I can't even be sure I want this," Peach confided as she moved her fork around in her bowl, upending lettuce and shredded carrots. "Still, he's so strong and earnest, and noble... sometimes he's kind of pretentious, but between you and me, I think it's his way of trying to make up for how barbaric the rest of his brothers are. He sees it as his duty to be the 'civilized' Koopa."

"Sounds about right."

"God, listen to me! I trust him with my life and I want him, but he's a _Koopa!_ What am I doing?"

At that, Wendy's eyebrow raised and her chin jutted out defiantly. "Do tell."

"You know I don't mean it that way. Surely you must have had similar thoughts about Mario – him being a human. How did you get past it? I defer to your boundless wisdom; what magic words put all your misgivings to rest once and for all?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Peachy, but there aren't any. I'm just taking it one day at a time. Maybe tomorrow, both me and Mario will wake up and realize we can't stand being with somebody whose blood runs at a different temperature. Maybe that day will sneak up on us ten years from now, or maybe it'll never, ever come. Who can say?"

"But I can't have that," Peach said pleadingly. "I... I can't give myself to him fully, promise him our lives together, and then let it fall apart at some undetermined date. It's not fair to him."

Wendy let the silence stretch on for several seconds before she whispered, "That may be all the proof you need."

"Hmmh?"

"If you're sitting there, worrying about hurting him even though relationships fall apart every day of the year, then I'd say you're extremely stuck on him... and that you'll make him happy. So I say go for it and let the future be the worry of Future Peach and Future Lemmy." Wendy stared down at her claws. "Because we only have the now."

"What's wrong?" Peach asked her, startled out of her own quibbles by her friend's bleak tone. "Have I been dominating the conversation too much? All you have to do is say so and I'll-"

"He's so _old,"_ Wendy gasped out, covering her eyes to partially shield her expression. "I mean, he's not really, but he has a decade on me. Right now it doesn't matter, but in thirty more years? I'll be fifty, and he'll be sixty. Then I'll be sixty, and he'll be seventy – seventy-two, in fact. What then? Never thought I'd say this about any one person, but if I had to live without him..."

When Wendy began to cry quietly, Peach did not stretch out her hands toward her, nor did she jump up and run around the table to cradle her in her lap. Instead, she waited patiently for Wendy to dry herself up, and afterward she said, "You know what I wish?"

"What's that?" Wendy squawked in a tear-stained voice into her napkin.

"I wish on every Starman out there that Lemmy and I, and you and Mario and Luigi, and maybe even Toad, had all been born in the same year to the same race. That we were _all _humans, or _all _Koopas – or even Yoshis, I don't care. But this... this canyon between us, these ugly divides... they're going to swallow us up if we let down our guard for even a second. How I wish they didn't exist..."

All of a sudden, Wendy was grinning, which startled Peach. Before the princess could ask, she told her with a weak little laugh, "You know what? This is exactly why you are the best woman for the job of Mushroom Queen, and the best match for my brother. And why we're best girlfriends."

Now Peach did squeeze her hand affectionately, and by the time their soup arrived they were chatting about inconsequential things. Perhaps life wasn't so unbearable after all.

-o-o-o-o-

"Majesty? You wanted to see m- _wah!"_

Peach crossed her legs as she stretched her arms over her head. "I do. The question is, do _you_ want to see _me?"_

"I'm seeing p-plenty," Lemmy stammered as he averted his eyes. "I can step outside until-"

"You will do no such thing." She passed a slow hand down her abdomen, stopping just short of where her thighs joined. "Tonight is the night when two become one."

"Princess-"

"Don't make me stomp you to shoot you out of that shell," she warned with a sly grin. "I promise that I will if it becomes necessary."

As Lemmy tugged at the collar of his shell, Peach stood and pressed herself against him, their breath coming faster from tantalizing proximity. To gain some height, she stacked her own dainty feet atop his, and he didn't flinch from it. Though he did flinch when her hands found the base of his tail.

"Please, Peach, get ahold of yourself!" he hissed, glancing back at the door. "Someone could happen by at any moment!"

"I've told all the servants that I'm... deep in thought," she tittered. "And that if I am disturbed for anything other than dire emergency that they will find themselves scouring the toilets in the old abandoned dungeons."

"That's... very nice of you?"

She shrugged lightly, and his eyes followed her bare shoulders as they moved. "It's powerful motivation for them to stay away. To give me my solitude... which I will only allow to be interrupted by a very brief list of individuals."

Again, Lemmy squirmed, but now his chest was heaving as he let his hands fall to the small of her back, as his head moved to her hair. "Your shampoo... whatever it is, it's so enticing on you... or maybe it's you who makes it enticing."

"Be with me, Lemmy. Even if just this once, I'll count that a blessing."

"We can't," he insisted, grasping her arms and holding her away at arm's length. "It is against my honor code to take this from you without our being betrothed."

"Forget about betrothal!" she urged, worming her fingers up through the leg-hole of his shell, causing him to shiver and twitch where he stood. "I need this _now! _ All I want is to feel this way, to be this close and to feel... insane!"

Lemmy squinted at her. "Why are so many of those words sounding... familiar?"

"How's _this_ for familiar?"

"AH!" He took a quick step backward, hands between his legs. "You... Nnhh... Peach, you c-can't be this forward with me, please, I'm n-not ready!"

"But I am," she pouted, indicating her lack of clothing. "When I saw your wet body in the moonlight, when we shared the fruit of the Yoshi Tree... when we kissed, when we ravaged each other. All to make me ready. You've touched me once before," she said as she passed her fingertips near to her pleasure center. "You apologized, but it wasn't necessary; I quite enjoyed. I will again, if you'll help."

"What about your kingdom? What will your subjects think when they learn their queen is cavorting with an evil gecko? I can't ask you to risk everything over me."

"You can't force me not to, either," she volleyed. "And they needn't know. If the time comes I think you, I, and they are ready for the news to be publicized, then I will deliver it. Until then, it falls well outside their concern and I see no reason to give their opinions any further thought."

As she slowly began to push his shell down and off of his body, he began to whisper, "But you're so soft and tender, and perfect, and fragile... I could injure you. I don't want that, I could never forgive myself if you were hurt because of me!"

"We'll go slow," Peach promised him with Wendy's words. "I know you're... a rather sizable specimen, and that I am untouched. But _too_ long have I remained untouched, I think. If we take things one step at a time, and... and listen to each other, and to our own bodies, I think we can create something truly special. But only if we're bold enough to try."

With nothing more between them, Lemmy found it harder and harder to come up with convincing arguments. They both began to pant as he leaned in and whispered, "Then you have to promise me."

"Promise what?"

"That you'll tell me to stop. That you'll say I'm hurting you, even if you don't want to 'spoil the atmosphere'. If I enjoy this moment, then find out later on that you had suffered, it will only poison the memory forever – which would be far worse than you asking me to cease." He took a few deep breaths, feeling her sweat against his stomach, her legs on his. "Promise, Majesty. Please?"

"I promise, Lemmy. But you can't call me that. Not tonight."

He put one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her cheek as he tilted her head back. When his lips were almost touching hers, he whispered, "Very well, my ripe little Peach. Prepare to be devoured."

It was fortunate that no staff were in that wing of the castle. Even so, a few of them could have sworn they heard a religious outcry or two from a long way off...

_***To Be Continued!***_

* * *

NOTES: So I rang those wedding bells! I wanted to do more with the wedding than I did, but I also didn't want to drag it out forever so I tried to find a balance. The scene with Peach and Wendy in the restaurant turned out really well I think; I wanted to show they were becoming good friends and not just friends-through-other-friends. Also, I'd just like to take a moment to give a thumbs up to MarioDS01; it's a great idea. Glad I thought of it. No, really, you guessed exactly what I was going to do - flashing forward a little. Next chapter is kind of an epilogue in that respect. I'm glad everybody sides with Peach and her beliefs. One more chapter to go before I FINALLY wrap up my decade-old Mushroom Opus!


	18. Scents And Sensibility

LAST NOTE, I SWEAR: Okay guys, this is the end, the very last of it! No more! I'm not coming back in 72 years with one more chapter, I'm not making a sequel, I'm closing the book on this beautiful(?) little story once and for all. Maybe some of you are going to be sad to see it end and some reviewers have already said that, but I know most of you will understand that this is the way it had to be. If I tried to do anything else it would be kicking a dead horse, and the last thing I want is to draw it out too long and ruin how good it _used_ to be. Thanks to Mikari for loyal readership and to DS and the newer readers for tuning in and liking what they saw; I hope the grand finale lives up to the hype. You know, even if I'm not writing about her anymore, Wendy will always live on in my heart. See you around, paesanos!

~Mushroom Scribe

* * *

THE MYSTERIOUS SCENT: _REDUX!_

Chapter 18: Scents And Sensibility

_...five months later..._

"Hey, look at that, Bella – a _Koopa!"_

The other mushroom leaned in to whisper back to her friend as they eyeballed the scaly creature browsing through racks of summer frocks and sundresses. "You're right, it is. She must be the one who's married to Super Mario!"

"Of course she is, silly," her friend snapped. "How many other Koopa women are living in Mushroom Village on an official royal pardon?"

"Well, how can we know? There could be more lizards than just the three our queen introduced to the townsfolk. Secrets hidden under the crown."

"Portabella Jones, are you kidding me? There's only three Koopas here – and only five more in the whole world, besides."

A shifty look. "And you have that on good authority, do you? Keeping informants under your cap?"

"I can't imagine what Mario sees in her," the other one said, ignoring her friend's comment. "It's hard to assume that he's _completely _out of his gourd when he's saved our village so many times, but you'd have to lose at least one or two marbles to even entertain such a foul-"

"Excuse me."

Both mushrooms backed up in a hurry when the Koopa in question tried to wedge her way between the gossiping fungi. They were presented with a problem in this area due to her ample girth.

"Boy, you have _really_ let yourself go," one of them muttered.

A claw hovered inches from the rack for a few tense seconds before the lizard whirled on her. "I beg your pardon?"

"You can barely fit down this aisle, Wendy O. Koopa," she followed up, though her voice was a little shakier with dozens of pointed fangs inches from her nose. "Maybe you swallowed Mario after the honeymoon like some kind of praying mantis, eh?"

"For your information," Wendy went on with a growl, "I am _pregnant. _Did you ever consider that possibility while you were jammering on and on about how fat and insectoid I am?"

The mushroom ladies were speechless. When at last they recovered, one sputtered, "You're... _no._ That's impossible, how can you be? You and your beau aren't even the same type of animal!"

"Too bad, because I am 'with child' whether or not it makes sense to you. Now, if you'll be so kind as to excuse my mile-wide ass, I need to find some decent maternity shirts or I might not be able to go back out in public again until I've laid this freaking egg."

Both women were staring after her with their jaws agape as she waddled around the clothes rack, angrily snatching at the hangers without really seeing them. After a moment, Portabella turned to hiss at her friend that someone really ought to run the Koopas out of town – only to find she was stepping forward and saying, "Are your ankles swollen?"

"What?" Wendy spat.

"Mine puffed up like balloons during my first and third."

Wendy grimaced as she glanced down in the direction of the ankles she was presently incapable of seeing due to her stomach. "Yeah. Water retention is a bitch. And putting my feet up doesn't make any real difference, no matter how many times people recommend it."

"You should drink more water."

"Are you crazy? Why would I want _more_ water?"

"Trust me," she said with a slight laugh. "It actually flushes out what's already in your system a little, and exercise helps even more. And those heels are way too tight; you should be wearing leisure shoes or flip-flops."

After staring at the woman for a few seconds, watching the other one squirm uncomfortably from the corner of her eye, her pink-heeled toes turned inward toward each other. "You're probably right. I just can't spare the brainpower for stuff like that; I can hardly sleep when I'm not lying on my side and I keep puking up breakfast, so I mostly feel like I'm losing my mind..."

"Who's your OBGYN?"

"I don't have one," she admitted sheepishly. "None of them will see me. They either suddenly have to rush off on an emergency call, or they're closed for the day, or their schedule's packed so full they can't take on any new patients. The princess keeps offering her personal doctor's services but I don't want them if it takes a monarch to twist their arm into burdening themselves with me."

"Here." After a few seconds of rooting around in her purse, she came up with a card. "My doctor should let you book an appointment if you tell her I sent you."

"And who are you again?"

"Guepinia, but you can call me Penny. Everybody does."

"You really think this doctor knows anything about amphibious physiology?"

Penny laughed. "Wouldn't put it past her; she's a veterinarian as well as an Oh-Bee."

"Why is that not as reassuring as you'd hoped it would sound?"

While they were chatting, Portabella crept away and toward the lingerie, feeling oddly out of place. They had just been talking about how scary it was to be in the same department store as a Koopa, and her friend up and changed her tune. Was it just because the lizard was pregnant? So maybe she didn't have any kids of her own yet, but it couldn't be _that _unifying of an experience... could it?

-o-o-o-o-

"I'm home!"

"Good timing," Mario said as he finished painting the little purple-and-green flowers on the walls of the nursery. It hadn't taken nearly as long for him and Luigi to build the extra room onto the side of his hut, but only in the past few days had he been able to do any decorating. "How was the store?"

"Better than I expected," she sighed as she made her way into the nursery. "Just when I think I've got these mushrooms figured out, one of them surprises me. It's kind of..."

"Inspiring?"

"Nutsoid." Then she took a quick look around and grinned as she pressed her hands into the small of her back. "Wow, this looks amazing, honey! You did all this in the last two hours?"

Mario grinned right back at her as he wiped his paint-flecked hands on his overalls. It was hard to even tell they were originally blue. "What can I say? Got into a rhythm." Then he yanked his gloves off and patted her stomach. "How's little Mario Junior?"

"Or Wendy Junior," she chided. "Or Razor."

_"Razor?"_

Wendy frowned. "What? I like the ring of it. It's simple and to the point."

"Yeah, 'point' is right; she'll grow up to stab everyone in her path."

"Cut it out," she giggled. "I suppose you've come up with a bunch of pretty names while painting the pretty flowers?"

"How about Engelbert, or Chewbacca?" When she punched him hard enough to bruise, he winced and rubbed his shoulder as he said, "Or I dunno, Lou, maybe Tracey. Eddie, Joanna... Bob. To be completely honest, I haven't been thinking too hard about the names yet; just worrying about how healthy this kid is gonna be when it pops out."

At that, she dropped her packages and dug a business card out of her purse. "This lady at the store says her doctor would be a good choice; maybe I should stop in tomorrow before heading over to MVCC, ask what prenatals I ought to be scarfing down. To be on the safe side."

"That would certainly put my mind at ease," he gusted. At the sound of it, Wendy laid a gentle claw on his shoulder.

"Nothing bad is going to happen. I'd worry if you were the biological father, what might go wrong blending our gene pools together and all, but that's not a problem we have. So don't sweat it."

For the fiftieth time, Mario leaned in and whispered, "You're sure it doesn't bother you? Using your brother's DNA to make our baby?"

"Enough," she told him tiredly, turning away to run a claw along the edge of the crib. "There's kind of a shortage of Koopa sperm donors in the area, in case you hadn't noticed. Hey, it's not like we actually made it the old-fashioned way; he just provided the seeds for our little weed. In a clinical setting. Everything was on the up and up, and now we have a family just like we wanted." When he still didn't reply, she grunted, "This really bugs you, doesn't it?"

"Not really. It's more like... it bugs me that it _doesn't _bug you. I mean, he's not _my _brother. And..."

"What? Come on, talk to me, baby."

Mario pulled at the corner of his mustache for a few seconds before relenting. "Well, it's always going to rankle that I couldn't do it myself. Not that it's your fault, or his, or anybody's at all, but it still... kinda bites, y'know?"

"You are still his or her father," Wendy reassured him as she kissed him on the cheek, distended tummy rubbing into his hip and making him smile in spite of himself. "Come what may, it's going to be me and you raising him, not me and Uncle Lemmy. Just like it's not going to be you and Princess Toadstool raising their kid, right? And only the four of us and the lab technician know the truth, anyway; everybody else is going to think it's a cross-species miracle."

At that, he walked around behind her and slipped his hands around her waist, feeling for the kicks he knew would never come. Koopas laid eggs, and if the baby had kicked through its shell there would be some real problems headed their way. "Don't get me wrong, Wen. I'm gonna love the shrimp no matter what. It's a part of you."

Her head tilted back and rested on his shoulder, and as she stared up at the starry nighttime mural Mario had etched into the ceiling (complete with Rainbow Road), a tear rolled down her cheek as she whispered, "And you. Because _I'm_ a part of you, now and forever."

They stood like that until it was time for her to head off to Mushroom Village Community College for her afternoon business course, and afterward to the movie theater where Peach had reserved a row for them, Luigi, Lemmy, Iggy and Toad. Mario took one last look around before they slipped out; was there anything else to buy?

There was – not that he knew it yet. Two more things.

-o-o-o-o-

_…two-and-a-half years later..._

"Are you sure you have everything you need?"

"Yes," Toad sighed for the millionth time. "Diapers, bottles, toys, TV remote. What else is there?"

Wendy sighed, running a hand down her appallingly-functional ponytail. "I know, I know, and I know you've done this so often it must be second nature by now. Just... call me if anything happens? If you can't get in touch with me, call Penny at the bakery; she's doing inventory and she'll be there all night, if the look I got at the pantry before I left is any indicat-"

_"G'wan,"_ he said, shooing with both his hands. "Put all this crapola out of your mind for a few hours and cut loose! The world'll still be here when you get back."

"Okay." She gave a thick swallow and stooped to sweep three flailing Koopalings into her arms. "Be good for Uncle Toad, okay, kids?"

"I wanna puppy!"

Reluctantly, Wendy grinned. "No puppy, Warren. Remember what happened to your Cheep-Cheep when you forgot to feed him?"

"But I wanna puppy!" Warren shouted, tuft of rainbow fur falling into his eyes as he fell back onto his shell. His limbs windmilled until his mother tugged him upright again. "Can't we go with you and you can buy me one while we're out? Or Aunt Queeny can buy it."

"Tonight is a very special night for Mommy and Daddy," Wendy told him as she used her thumb to wipe an unidentifiable smudge from his cheek. "It's our third wedding anniversary, which means it's a party for grown-ups. No one under ten is allowed, understand?"

"Why?" asked the boy with the unruly shock of blonde hair as he rubbed his eye with a fist.

"Listen," she whispered, "sometimes adults need to be by themselves, Lorenzo. Just like kids need to play by themselves, too. It's perfectly natural; we've been over this a dozen times. You won't keel over if Mommy and Daddy get a little alone-time."

"She means they're going to a hotel so they can have secret kissy-wissies."

"Are not!" Lorenzo shouted at the tiny girl with beautiful rainbow ringlets.

"Are so."

"Mom, Mandy's being gross!"

Wendy scowled at the girl as she folded her arms, privately amused but unwilling to show it. "Mandy, what did I tell you about teasing your brothers?"

"Not to," she said glumly. "But it's so easy!"

"That's not the same thing as 'okay'." Then she leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, "Just because we girls mature faster than the boys doesn't mean you can rub their noses in it. Understand?"

"It's going to be so boring with Uncle Toad," Mandy muttered, pouting. "He's too short to give us piggy-back rides like Daddy, or Uncle Lemmy and Uncle Luigi."

"You'll survive," she said as she kissed her on the forehead. "Be good."

"Go already," Toad groused, waving both hands in her direction. "I'm ready to get my baby-sit on, which I can't do until you actually _leave_."

"Thanks so much again, Toad – really, you can't know-"

"No biggie. Just have an extra dash of fun on my behalf, got it?"

"Loud and clear."

Then she was out the door, feeling six sad eyes on her back as she joined Mario by the gate of the picket fence that bordered their front lawn. The plumber with his hair graying at the temples had abandoned the usual overalls for slacks and a blazer, and combed his mustache thoroughly in anticipation of the event. When he spotted her, he grinned and asked, "Ready, doll?"

"Born ready," she grunted. "I love the hell outta my brats, but God do I need to get away from them once in a while!"

"Preaching to the choir. You missed the bubblegum incident this morning while you were minding the store."

"The _what?"_ Then she flashed him a weak smile. "Actually, please don't tell me anything about it, I don't wanna know. Let's just go and enjoy a night's entertainment that's more highbrow than 'The Mr. Clownypants Show' and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

"I thought you liked my PB and J."

Wendy hooked an arm around his waist. "It's the best in all the Lands."

"You smell amazing."

"And you always tell me that," she laughed musically. "I'm surprised you're not tired of my fruity bouquet by now – especially since it probably smells more like talcum powder and Play-Doh than anything these days."

"Ah, but what you don't realize is that those only add to your alluring scent, my dear." The look she gave him clearly showed skepticism, so he shrugged and went on, "Because we're a family. It's more pleasing to my nose than anything else."

A smile pulled at her lips as her heart fluttered for him all over again. "You big sap."

-o-o-o-o-

Six forks clattered to six plates as six sighs of contentment went up, all in unison. A few minutes passed before anyone elaborated. It was Luigi who finally said, "I never thought I'd say this, but Chef Torte has got pasta down to a science. Almost as good as Spinelli down the block did."

"Pretty good for a non-Italian," Mario had to concede. "He really _can _make anything."

"Does anybody else want a bite of this raspberry custard?" Peach hissed under her breath. "I don't want Torte to get a swelled head, but I think I'd divorce Lemmy and marry this instead. No offense, my love."

"Sure," Lemmy grunted, straightening his bow-tie in a highly-affronted manner. "I'm taking a back-seat to an after-dinner sweet. Who'd take offense at that?"

"Oh, pipe down," Wendy laughed. "And I'll take a bite, dear Sister-In-Law."

As the fork was passed around the table to her, a light, sweeping musical number was begun by the orchestra and Mario nudged his wife. "Hey, they're playing our song."

"We don't have a song," she told him around the mouthful. "I can't stand most of that Earth Land noise you listen to, so – _mmm,_ I have _got_ to ask Torte for the recipe! This is way better than mine, and I've been working at it for over a year. He's so stingy with his trade secrets, though – it's like bleeding a stone."

"Hey, Motörhead ain't noise, it's classic rock! And I'll freely admit that ACDC is an acquired taste, especially the singing, but how can you find something bad to say about the Beatles?"

At that she sneered playfully; they were retreading one of their favorite arguments mostly for the audience's sake. "Beatles. _Hah!_ This from the man who listened to Boom-Boom's red album and was unimpressed? You've got rocks in your ears or something."

"I'll dance if they won't," a honeyed voice cooed into Luigi's ear. "Coming, sweetie?"

"O-okie dokie, Chanterelle," he stammered nervously as he was yanked to his feet. The remaining four at the table watched with some amusement as she showed him up on the floor; even though she was tall for a mushroom woman, Luigi was yet taller and kept stumbling as he bent awkwardly to meet her eyes. She kindly pretended not to notice.

"Do you think she'll ever stop playing around with his head and actually make an honest man out of him?" Peach giggled.

"Nah," Lemmy sighed into his champagne flute. "It's her favorite sport."

Then Mario stood and offered his hand to Wendy. "Cut a rug with me, Milady?"

"Why, good sir," she said, batting her eyelashes at him. "What will they think if they see the two of us together?"

"They'll think we're dancing. Let's go."

Slowly, Wendy was led out onto the floor, where Mario bowed and she curtsied. As his hand slid around her waist and settled in the small of her back, he whispered, "There's something kinda familiar about this."

"We've danced before, dipwad."

"Not that – or the anniversary thing, either." He drew back and examined her again, taking in her sparkling evening gown and hairbow, then he nodded to himself, a warmth of nostalgia flooding through him. "It's the dress."

"Hmm?"

"This is the same blue dress you bought right after I got you set up in your first mushroom hut. Can't believe it didn't hit me until now."

Wendy grinned into his shoulder as she laid her head against it, hands resting lightly on his shoulderblades as they turned in a slow circle. "It's not... but it's an exact replica. That one didn't survive the fire. Took me forever to find the right material, and then I had to pay out the nose for a seamstress to get it just right."

"Well, it looks just as good on you as the first one did."

"Really?" They danced for a few more seconds before she breathed, "I didn't think you were paying any attention to how I looked back then."

"The dress made you awfully hard to ignore."

Slowly, they drew back to look into each other's eyes. The noise and movements in the restaurant faded back to nonexistence, and Wendy said, "Stop making me love you more. I'm afraid I'll run out of love if you keep using mine up."

"You can always borrow a half-cup from me, Lady Fettuccine."

"Good." Her eyes were smiling as she said, "Thank you, Mario. Thanks for my whole life."

"The pleasure was all mine."

When their lips met, the moment held all the beauty and peace that a ripening union can hold. Instead of the spark fizzling after the honeymoon, theirs only burned down into a glowing ember that endured, keeping both hearts warm as they moved through school and small business loans and childbirth and rearing. And it would continue to glow and drive away the cold of loneliness for years to come.

They broke apart when they noticed the tempo had picked up, and smiled to watch Luigi come into his own a little more now that he could move and groove; he always had been clumsier with slow-dancing. At some point, Peach and Lemmy had joined in, and now Peach was twirling around him as he showed off some understated-yet-graceful moves of his own. Everything was complete in that moment, and Mario knew he'd never want for anything ever again so long as he had days like these in his future. No matter how many or few they might be.

Shortly thereafter was when the door to the dining room imploded.

_"AAIGH!"_ screamed the maître d'. "Sacrebleu, it's an invasion!"

Anyone who had not known who the party of six were would have been surprised when suddenly wooden swords, claws and Fire Flowers were produced from nowhere. Of course, this was standard procedure for Mario and company.

"Why tonight?" Mario growled as he dug his heels in, ready to leap over tables if necessary. "Why tonight of all nights?"

"Calm down, honey," Wendy half-snarled, words at odds with her posture. "Maybe we can take care of it quickly enough to still have time for a moonlit stroll."

But then they found themselves speechless as a green dinosaur skidded to a halt in front of them. A few seconds later, a battle-scarred rider dismounted, yanking free his iron helmet to reveal-

"IGGY!" Lemmy shouted, dropping his _bokken_ onto a discarded teacup with a loud crash. "Wh-what- you've been gone for- how did you- what the hell?"

"Such an eloquent speech," Iggy snorted. "Have long to prepare it?"

"Forgive us for not being all smiles," Peach began shakily as she stepped forward, only now lowering the flower she'd had at the ready, "but... your entrance was kind of... unexpected."

"And loud," said Mario.

"And destructive," Luigi added. He looked yet more angry because Chanterelle was cowering behind him, clearly less accustomed to superhero and villain entrances than the other five.

Iggy was already nodding when he reached them. "I know, guys. Sorry, but we really don't have a lot of time. I'm probably too late already, but I figured I'd hop aboard the Yoshi Express and beat feet to see if I could make it before-"

"IT'S TERRIBLE!"

"-that," Iggy finished miserably.

"Oh, I feel rotten!" Toad sobbed as he bounded into the room, rivers gushing down the front of his face as he skidded to a halt in front of Mario and Wendy. "I didn't even turn my back on 'em for more than five seconds to get the ice cream out of the freezer, a-and- and when I looked again, they were- they were-"

"They were gone."

"They were gone!" Toad blubbered, not having really even registered that Iggy was in the room.

"Wait," Wendy began with a slight desperation creeping into her words, "You said they're gone? _Who_ are gone?"

"You already know, Sis," Iggy told her. "I'm sorry."

Mario was instantly gripping the youngest of Bowser's sons around the shoulders, squeezing hard. "Hey, pal, what say you start being a little more forthcoming with the info from this point on? Since, y'know, it sounds to me like I'm about to be really, really peeved."

"You are. King Dad has the triplets."

Peach, Luigi and Chanterelle gasped, but Lemmy, Wendy and Mario only swore, the latter tossing Iggy backward in disgust. "I knew this was going to happen," Lemmy spat, hands curling into fists. "How... how is..."

"Momoko's fine," Iggy assured him sadly. "After all, she's a human child, so what would The Great Bowser want with her? Though I'll worry about him coming after her when she's of age for, uh... other reasons."

"Why does that make me feel ten times better, yet not help at all?" Peach lamented, hand over her mouth. "My precious daughter..."

"You failed, Little Brother," Wendy flung at him, and Iggy dropped his gaze. A gout of flame erupted from her mouth before she continued. "You were supposed to be keeping them _in_ line and _out_ of Mushroom World, weren't you? We were counting on you to plug up the Warp Pipe and stop them from coming back here to do exactly what they're doing right now! What went wrong?"

"Factions," Iggy said with no small amount of self-reproach. "I've got Morton and Ludwig more or less on my side, but Dad's still the boss as far as Roy and Larry are concerned. Until now, our petty squabbles have been taking up each other's time enough to distract him from your babies, but he decided the time has come to... bolster the ranks."

Mario went cold all over. "No. No, he's not – that's not fair. Those are not his children, he can't recruit from our playpen!"

"But they're his _grand_children. As far as he's concerned, that's all the permission he needs to steal them and raise them like 'true Koopas'."

Silence reigned. By now, almost all of the customers had fled, and only a few of the braver kitchen staff were peeking out from behind the swinging service doors.

"Lorenzo," Wendy said with a strangled sob. "Warren..."

"Mandy," Mario half-breathed, clutching for a table to keep from collapsing in the middle of the floor. "Leapin' lasagna, this can't be happening..."

"They're probably on their way back to Ice World as we speak," Iggy told them, mounting Yoshi again as he hefted his helmet. "Maybe, if we don't stop for bathroom breaks-"

But the next words died on his lips when he saw Mario was tossing his blazer to the floor. In a flash, he yanked the bib of his overalls out from under his shirt and fastened the straps on the outside, then donned the red cap that had been hiding in his back pocket. "I'm ready."

"Me, too," Wendy said as she tossed her dress aside. Luigi had already slapped his hand over his eyes, but he needn't have bothered; under the elegant formal-wear she had on bicycle shorts and a tank top. As they watched, she kicked her heels in Chanterelle's general direction while yanking a pair of sneakers from her purse. "Take care of my clothes, willya? This could take a few days."

"You guys ain't leavin' me behind," Luigi said as he yanked up his dress shirt. In his case, he was actually wearing slacks and not overalls, but he did have a hefty tool belt secured around his waist, most likely full to the brim with Fire Flowers and Super Leaves (besides the usual plumber's snakes and socket wrenches). "I'm there with you all the way, Brother Mio."

The only response Mario could manage was a nod, but it was enough. The Brooklynites knew the stakes, and little else remained to be said.

"Shall we, Peach?" Lemmy asked. "You can change when we pick up the ATV from the castle."

"No time to dress for the occasion!" Glancing around, she let out an angry grunt of frustration and grabbed the hem of her evening gown, ripping apart the seam until halting when she reached her hip. Taking a deep breath, she made sure her repaired and re-Starred crown was in place before barking, "We've got rugrats to save. Honor Guard, make sure you grab my parasol prototype and the two wands in our possession from the Armory; you remember the combination to the safe?"

Her honor guard bowed. "Got it. Wendy and I would be glad of the firepower."

"Excellent. Obviously, Toadsworth can watch the kingdom in our absence again; he practically lives for it, anyway. But let's make this fast; I'll be damned if my niece and nephews fall into Bowser's clutches without giving my all to circumvent it!"

"Lead the way, Ig," Lemmy told his brother with a satisfied grin.

"You got it, Lemmy Lee. To the castle, Yoshi!"

_"Yosh!"_ the dinosaur cried out. "We go quick-quick, save babies of friends!"

As they spilled out of the restaurant and down the streets, Toad and Chanterelle stranded behind and anxiously gripping the handful of discarded garments, Mario turned to Wendy and panted, "They're gonna be fine. You know that, right?"

"Yep. My husband is Super Mario. Besides, Daddy Dearest would never hurt them; not when he thinks they're his only shot at restaffing his evil empire."

"Not exactly what I meant," he half-laughed, ignoring the questioning stares of the fungi bystanders as they watched the ragtag group thunder toward Toadstool Castle, curious and alarmed but content to gossip without getting personally involved. If the Mario Brothers were on the case, everything was going to turn out okay no matter the danger.

"Then what _did _you mean?"

"Those three have a mother who is anything _but _defenseless. Nobody could stand between ya, not even King Bowser. Which is why... call me crazy, but I'm not all that panicked."

Wendy flashed him a toothy grin, even as tears of worry streaked past her cheeks and into her golden locks. "We're a hell of a herpetological family, huh? Can't just hold a normal reunion at the local Mushroom Legion Hall like everybody else."

"So you believe me, Wen? You believe we stand a chance at rescuing our kids?"

"Oh, it's a sure thing." When he only gaped at her with combined surprise and pride, she reached out to snag his hand and grip it tight within her claw, just like she had in the Kingdom Waterworks all those years ago. "I trust you completely, Beloved. Eternally."

And somehow, as the seemingly-incompatible husband and wife set out for yet another zany adventure alongside no less than five comrades-in-arms, Warren, Lorenzo and Mandy's prospects didn't seem so grim. Not when their fierce Mommy and valiant Daddy would be a single Warp Pipe away.

**THE END**


End file.
